Twenty-Five
Everything went well for the next two months. His wife finally listened to him and stopped her hair-raising activities. They made love every night as if the world was ending. It was bliss for him. Connor knew that he had distanced himself from her, but he couldn’t help it. At first, he thought he could open himself up to the vulnerability of having his beating heart outside of his body in the hands of a tiny, infuriatingly stubborn beautiful woman. He’d deluded himself. These feelings were too new and too raw still for him to make any sense of them.
He’d closed himself off. He had to.
It was self-preservation.
Connor’s peace was short-lived. After the two months of truce, her shenanigans began anew.
Connor and his men came in for a midday meal, as was the usual custom. Usually, Maddie would be sitting by the hearth sewing. He had gotten accustomed to seeing her doing some womanly chore, but today, she wasn’t there. His suspicions rose, but he quelled them telling himself that she was probably just napping.
The men ate, talking over the meal. Connor, his brothers, and men-at-arms were somewhat isolated from the rest of the warriors.
“Have ye decided when ye are going to tell Maddie about Menzies?”
Connor shook his head.
“I’m not certain I should tell her at all.”
“Connor, that would be a mistake. I believe that she would welcome that news. It’s obvious that it saddens her to think that her father never returned her love. Telling her that Menzies is her father may be good for her,” Iain said.
“What if he rejects her? I will protect her at any cost and that includes protecting her from family. Any family,” Connor said forcefully.
“If she finds out, Connor, she will be upset that ye kept the truth from her. Lightning will strike at Keisealle again,” Iain said.
“Then let the lightning begin anew, Iain. I will protect Maddie, at all costs,” Connor said and looked at all of them seriously. “Nay a word about this.”
Aimee walked by and Connor called over to her.
“Yes, milord.”
“Where is my wife, Aimee? I have not seen her today.”
Aimee paled and began wringing her hands. She averted her eyes.
“Last time I spoke with her, milord, she said she was going out for a walk. I have been in the kitchens all day.”
He sensed something. Aimee knew better than to lie to him, though, even if it was for Maddie’s benefit.
“Aimee,” he paused when his men caught on. Iain and Kiel had the nerve to outright laugh. He stared at them until they grew quiet. He began again, “Aimee, we both know that ye’re keeping something from me.”
“I would never lie to ye laird! Never!” Aimee said vehemently.
“Nay, Aimee. I have no doubt. However, I do know my wife. She is quite cunning. What is it that ye know?”
Aimee nodded, relieved that her laird believed in her integrity.
“Maddie always tells me to go into the kitchens every morning so that I willna know where she is headed,” Aimee said.
“Why would she request that?” Kiel asked, clearly puzzled.
Connor smiled. His wife was calculating. “Because she doesna want Aimee to be in the position of choosing loyalties between her laird and her lady,” he said, laughing.
Everyone laughed.
“I know more, Laird,” Aimee said shyly.
“Enlighten us, Aimee,” Connor through his laughter.
“Before the noon meal, when ye and yer men come in, she always comes into the kitchen where I am. After that, she heads over to the hearth to sew.”
Connor laughed harder.
“She tries to feign it as if she had been there all day,” Connor said, shaking his head. She was so sly.
“Aye, milord, but everyday she comes in with game,” Aimee said, bracing herself for his anger.
He stood up, the chair clashing to the floor.
“Madeleine!”
“Where are ye going, Connor?” Bruce asked rhetorically as everyone laughed.
Connor looked over at them murderously.
“To find my disobedient wife, and well ye know it!” Connor growled and stormed off.
“There is the lightning striking as we had predicted,” Kiel said. They stood up, wanting to see the fight between Connor and his dynamic wife.
As Connor stepped outside, he saw her going around the back. He quickly entered the keep again and headed for the kitchens.
“Bess, I have some really good-looking rabbits here,” Maddie said, smiling and breathing heavily from the exertion.
“Yes, they look good, Maddie,” Bess said, returning her smile. The cook stood over a pot that was hanging above the fire. Suddenly, she looked up and saw Connor. He nodded at her and she understood. She quickly left the kitchen as if her arse had caught on fire.
“It was hard getting these. There was a wild boar and I hid until he left. I’m cleverer than he is. I get better and better, huh, Bess?” Maddie said squatting down, picking up a fallen jar.
“Bess?” Maddie asked, standing up and turning around.
“Better at what, Madeleine?”
Maddie rolled her eyes heavenward. Neither of them noticed their audience, as was usual when their fights were brewing.
“For the Lord’s sake, Connor. I was simply hunting. Don’t overreact,” Maddie said, bringing her hands to her hip. Her stance was defiant. Her hair hung around her like black silk and her eyes glittered.
“Ye gave me yer word ye wouldn’t do anything dangerous, so tell me now why ye’re out hunting without guards or protection? Or why ye are even hunting at all!”
“Don’t raise your voice, ‘tisn’t proper,” Maddie yelled, walking to the pot hanging over the fire and stirring it.
“Doona change the subject!”
“I’m helping our clan. I’ve been hunting for food. Since you didn’t want me to clean so much, I followed your orders.”
Connor placed his arm on the wall and rested his forehead on it.
“Have you fallen ill?” Maddie asked, and quickly went over to him. “You must rest, Connor.”
“Ill? Rest?”
Maddie looked even more concerned. She felt his forehead.
“You don’t seem to be running a fever,” she whispered more to herself than to him, and chewed her lower lip. “You are a bit warm, however. Your cheeks are red, too.”
Connor tried to hold onto his patience, but it was difficult.
“Ye are asking me if I’m ill? Ye leave the safety of the keep and continue to place yerself in danger. How am I not supposed to get angry, or get ill with worry when my wife refuses to look out after her own safety and argues with me about it?”
A nerve twitched on the right side of Connor’s neck. Maddie reached up to touch it.
“Connor, something is happening to your neck,” she said in worry. Her fingers were gentle as they caressed his skin.
She really was naive. She was innocent, trusting, and careless, which was a very deadly combination.
It scared the hell out of him.
“Ye lied to me.”
“Nay, Connor! I would never!” she said earnestly.
“Then why were ye hunting when ye promised me that ye wouldna do anything dangerous?” he asked calmly.
“That is not what I promised, Connor,” she said, looking earnestly at him.
His eyes turned a deep blue and icy.
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it isn’t,” Maddie argued, and jabbed her finger into his chest.
He grabbed her finger and cupped her chin. “It was.” His breath tickled her face.
“No!”
Kiel laughed, and the others followed, but the couple was oblivious.
“There must always be truth between a man and wife,” he said calmly, but he was visibly bothered by the fact that she was still lying about lying.
“Between a husband and wife, or a man and woman, not man and wife!” she said through clenched teeth.
“There is no difference,” Connor said.
“Yes, there is. In time you’ll see it!” she said haughtily. Her eyes were blazing yellow fire.
His eyes radiated bright blue flames.
“Tell me why ye continue to lie to me, Madeleine. Why is it that ye defy me?” His voice rose a notch.
“That hurts me, Connor, that you would think that I would ever lie to you. You may as well strike me, for that would hurt less,” she whispered.
He wanted to comfort her, but damn it, didn’t she realize how much she meant to him? He would be lost without her, and she didn’t care. Nay, she placed herself in constant jeopardy.
“Answer me, Madeleine!”
“My promise to you was not to do anything that you would consider dangerous. I have not done anything you consider dangerous!” Maddie screamed.
“Going hunting without a guard or protection is dangerous!” Connor shouted.
The men laughed all the more heartily.
“They are verra good amusement,” Hugh said jovially, and the others nodded.
“I was on our land all this time!”
“Have ye not considered that when Binouix took ye, ye were on the outskirts of our land? Have ye also not considered the possibility that the wild animals are dangerous?”
Surprise lit her eyes. Connor knew she would never lie to him, but the fact that she hadn’t considered this aspect of her hunts made him feel all the more fearful.
“Hunting isn’t dangerous, Connor. I have not broken my word,” she said forcefully.
“Ye are absolutely daft! I just explained it to ye!” He lifted his hand palm up in frustration.
“Nay! My promise was not to do anything you thought would be dangerous and I haven’t. If you thought hunting was dangerous, you wouldn’t go hunting either.”
Either she was verra clever or verra naïve.
“She has ye there, Connor,” Kiel pointed out.
“Stay out of this!” Connor snapped, looking over his shoulder. He turned back to Maddie. “Ye knew I wouldn’t approve of yer hunting!”
“But it isn’t something that you consider dangerous, as evidenced by your actions, so I haven’t broken my word.”
Dear Lord, help him. He wanted to strangle her, but he took her into his arms instead.
“What am I to do with ye, Maddie?”
“Being less ambiguous would be a good start,” she said disgruntled. He stepped back and looked down at her.
“Ye will tell me yer intended activities every day in the mornings, so I can approve them.”
She shook her head, making her black tresses bounce. Her golden eyes narrowed.
“Nay! I won’t. We are equals in this marriage or there is no marriage. I will not gain your approval,” she said strongly.
“Yes, ye will!” he shouted.
“Nay! Only if you do the same, and only then, it will be a discussion and not a request for permission! Father Dircan said that we must equally work together to please one another. Miriam even said we are equals!” she yelled.
“First, I doona converse with anyone about my plans. Nay, not even to my men. I give them orders, not a discussion on the merits of said activities. Second, we are not equals and I doona give a flying fig what anyone says. Father Dircan shouldna be one to speak since he isna married to a daft woman!” he growled.
“Then do not expect the same from me!” she snapped, and turned to leave the kitchen when he stopped her. He grabbed her arm.
“Doona ye dismiss me, Madeleine. Ye will do as I order or so help me God, I will lock ye in our chambers,” he said coldly.
She gasped and took her arm out of his grasp. Her breathing was rough as she looked up at him.
“Alright, Connor. Have it your way, but you’ll grow to regret your orders,” she spat. He noted the look of hurt on her face but dismissed it. Theatrics or truth, it didn’t matter. Her safety came first.
“I seriously doubt that, Madeleine,” he said coldly.
She walked out of the room, passing the men standing witness to their horrible argument. Once out, she breathed in a heavy breath and tears fell. She ran all the way upstairs, but not before Miriam saw the tears. Maddie went into her and Connor’s chamber and threw herself on their bed.
She cried herself asleep.
*****
Miriam entered the kitchen just as Iain said, “I saw her tears, Connor. Ye hurt her feelings.”
“Nonsense, it was an act,” Connor said, turning to leave.
“Nay, it wasna. I saw them as well. What happened here?” Miriam asked.
Connor rolled his eyes.
“Dear Lord, canna a man and wife have an argument without the family getting involved? She thinks she’s my equal, Mother, and requests equal treatment. I corrected her and she didna like it,” Connor harshly.
Miriam shook her head.
“Connor, ye have mistaken beliefs that ye have to correct.”
“Nay, Mother. She is naïve, daft, and impulsive. She will get herself killed and I will not allow that to happen. Better she be alive and angry with me, than dead and love me,” he said and stormed out of the room.
Connor needed a good fight and he set out to make sure his men were trained well and hard today.
*****
Maddie was still sleeping when Connor came into the room in the evening. He came over to the bed and looked at her. He saw her eyes a little swollen and he figured she had cried herself to sleep.
Connor hardened himself. Damn it, he wouldn’t allow her to disregard her safety and he didn’t care what the cost would be. It was better that she hate him and live, than love him and die.
“Madeleine, wake up,” he said from the foot of the bed.
As she stirred awake and stretched, his passion ignited.
“I want ye downstairs. Supper will be served,” he said without emotion.
Maddie looked up at him. Her sad golden eyes were fast replaced by blazing gilded daggers.
“As you wish, milord,” she said and got up.
Connor studied her a long minute and walked out of the room.
Maddie quickly changed clothes and went downstairs. She would follow his directions as perfectly as possible. Aye, she would kill him with kindness.
Maddie descended the stairs, and as she approached the table she saw that everyone was already seated.
“I apologize for my tardiness. Thank you for waiting.”
“Doona keep us waiting again, Madeleine.”
Everyone was clearly stunned at his cold attitude. They were anticipating the fireworks, but were disappointed.
“As you wish, milord. My apologies again,” Maddie said, and sat next to Connor. Connor nodded, appeased.
It was nice to have her cooperation for once.
Everyone’s eyes opened wide, but they remained quiet.
“Madeleine, ye serve yerself too little. Ye must eat more. Ye are too thin,” he instructed, and placed more stew on her trencher.
“As you wish,” she said, and continued to eat after he placed more food on her plate.
The dinner table was quiet that evening. Once Maddie was finished, she requested to leave the table.
“May I be excused? I would like to sew by the hearth.”
“Aye, but not for too long. Ye need yer rest,” Connor instructed. All eyes were on him.
“Thank you. If you’ll excuse me,” Maddie said and went to grab her plate.
“The servants will see to that,” Connor said, staying her hand with his. She nodded and went to the hearth. She picked up her sewing project and sat in the chair.
At the table, everyone stared at Connor. Their stares weren’t ones of adoration, either. They were glowering with notes of hostility.
“Quit yer scowls, and save yer lectures. I am a married man and my wife is my affair. She’s no one else’s.”
Miriam threw her cloth napkin on the table, glared at Connor, and left the table without a word. Katie did the same.
“Anyone else want to leave?” Connor asked, raising an eyebrow. “Ye’re free to go.”
They continued to glare at him but remained silently eating.
“We need to meet after the meal. We’ve things to discuss.” Connor rose, and stepped away from the table.
“It’s going to be a long night,” Kiel said and the others nodded.
*****
In the meeting, Connor explained that he would be leaving to the Kerrs. He would be taking Iain, Kiel, and Hugh. Kirk and Bruce would stay behind.
“Why are we going to the Kerrs?” Kiel asked.
“I really am questioned about every decision I make. Has Madeleine had this horrible effect on all of ye?”
Silence and glares were his only responses.
“Athyn. He and I have have an interesting and complicated history, but nevertheless, they helped the day Binouix took Maddie,” Connor said.
“Maddie? So now it’s back to calling her Maddie instead of Madeleine,” Malcolm said.
“Spare me the lecture, Father,” Connor said dryly.
“What in the world has gotten into ye, Connor? Ye’re becoming every bit of the disgruntled man that ye were before Maddie came here,” Malcolm asked.
“Any concerns about tomorrow?” Connor asked, ignoring the question. When they remained silent, he said, “Fine. We leave at dawn.” Connor stood to leave.
“There is one more question. Are ye going to tell Maddie that ye’re leaving?” Iain asked.
“That is none of yer concern, Iain, but the answer is no,” Connor responded aloofly and left the room.
“He’s verra much in love with her,” Malcolm stated and snickered from the irony of the situation.
“Then why is he acting like a bastard, Father?” Iain asked, sourly.
“Aye, he’ll kill the love Maddie has for him,” Kiel added.
Malcolm shook his head.
“He finally realizes how fragile life is. He now sees that Maddie can be easily taken away from him, especially after the Binouix incident, and he loves her so much so that it scares him. He is afraid to lose her and he’s afraid of the magnitude of his emotions. Things will settle in time. Aye,” Malcolm said, and laughed heartily this time, “the role of the docile, obedient wife is not one that Maddie will play for any length of time, nor is it one that Connor will like overly much. Although he willna admit it, he likes arguing with her. In terms of his acting the part of the cold, demanding husband, while Connor relishes in it now, it will ultimately rub Maddie the wrong way, shaking her out of her new obedient role.”
The men shared a laugh.
“Aye. It will be an interesting time here at Keisealle. Sparks aplenty.”
*****
Connor went to the great room and was satisfied to see that Maddie had followed his directions. She wasn’t there, which meant she had to be up in their chambers. He had actually still expected a battle. Maddie was learning and that’s what mattered. Her following his instructions would ensure that she would remain alive and by his side.
He entered into the chamber and found Maddie still sewing by candlelight. She stood up as he came to stand before her.
“I asked ye to sew only for awhile and sleep afterwards,” he said looking down at her.
She was wearing a thin, shear shift, and looked delectable. Her hair cascaded down all around her. The dark strands reflected the light from the fireplace and candles. Her eyes sparkled with golden drops of liquid.
Connor was powerless. He kissed her.
It was almost savage.
Maddie met his kiss with her own passion, her nails biting into his back. His right hand swooped to her hair and grabbed a fistful of it as his other hand played with her nipples. She moaned and it drove him crazy.
It wouldn’t be slow tonight. Nay, he was too crazed.
Connor took off her shift and placed her on the bed. He quickly took off his clothes and came down on her. Connor licked her nipples and sucked on her breasts. Her nails digging into his back drove him to distraction. He groaned. Connor grabbed her backside pulled her forward and entered her in one swift thrust. She let out a moan of pleasure and he grunted.
He wasn’t gentle. He thrust into her as if he only had seconds to live. Connor shouted out in pleasure. She was so hot and tight. Maddie’s moans resounded in his head, driving him further mad.
“Connor! More…give me more…please…” she said, her voice sounding as if it were far away.
At her words, something in him snapped. He drove into her harder, withdrawing and plunging in. Their lovemaking grew wild and savage. He was a primal beast mating with his female. No thoughts hindered them. Their hunger took them over.
Connor kissed her breasts. Maddie sunk her nails deeper into his back as if she feared he’d leave. She held him down to her. Connor grabbed her backside again, anchoring her firmer, and drove into her. She grabbed his shoulders, arched her back, and cried out.
“Connor!”
“Yes, Maddie. Join me, my love,” he said through clenched teeth as he pushed them to fulfillment.
Maddie cried out in pleasure. She gripped his shoulders and hugged him tightly as the waves of ecstasy consumed her. She chanted his name like a prayer.
Connor roared as he felt his seed shoot into his wife. She squeezed him like a vice. He felt every constriction of her passage as it milked him. He bellowed again in ecstasy, feeling power surge in his veins with every pump of his seed. His lungs weren’t able to take in enough air, but he didn’t care. Sweat covered both of them. He collapsed on her as he tried to control his breathing. The lovemaking had left him spent but peace had descended in him. Long moments passed before Connor lifted his head from the curve of her delicious neck.
His sweet wife had fallen asleep. She looked so young, delicate, naïve, and incredibly intoxicating. He was eight years older than she was, but was a hundred years more worldly. He knew the bad out there, the pure evil that existed, and she only knew and saw the good. Connor needed to protect her from all of that, even if she hated him for it.
He stretched out next to her and pulled her to him. Her lips were swollen, her skin was pink from exertion, and her breasts were red from his loving. Maddie looked misused and he felt an immediate pang of guilt.
Would she forgive him for the savage lovemaking? For treating her coldly?
He hugged her to him tighter.
She had to forgive him. Knowing her sweet nature and heart, she would.
The only problem was, could he forgive himself?