Thirty-Four
Three months later
“Do not over do it, child,” Sister Margaret said.
Maddie laughed.
“Sister, in a few months’ time I am to give birth to a child, yet you call me one.”
Sister Margaret chuckled. It was nice to hear Maddie’s laugh, for she rarely did.
“You will always be a child in my eyes, Maddie.”
The four months that Maddie had been there had been difficult. She was very quiet, and kept to herself. She walked around as if the heavy load was on her shoulders rather than her belly, for Maddie was quite large with child.
For a month after her arrival, she had eagerly anticipated Connor’s appearance to take her back ‘home’ but she had been wrong. He never came.
It was difficult for Sister Margaret and the rest of the abbey to witness the crestfallen Maddie during that time. She couldn’t stop crying. She kept saying how she was now with child and that her child would never know its father.
She cried all day and all night.
“I told you, Sister. I told you he would not come!” Maddie had said, crying. Pure anguish was apparent on her face.
“Are you sure that the letter was clear, Maddie?”
“Aye, Sister! Clear as a summer’s day! The clues were apparent and I mentioned going to the Lord. I even mentioned that I was taking our most precious gift that God had given us. He mustn’t have cared about the baby. Miriam would have told him. He’s probably back with his lover,” Maddie said and felt a stab of pain shoot through her at the thought. “He knew I had intended to serve our Lord before meeting him. He obviously listened little when I spoke of myself. It shows that he did not truly care about me,” Maddie said in a saddened voice.
The topic had been changed then, for the sister hadn’t wished to see Maddie upset. The sisters however, noted Maddie’s blunder in her recollection, seemingly attributable to her emotional instability. When she first arrived, she had said the clues were obscure. As the days passed, however, she kept repeating how clear they were.
She had a large appetite, which was humorous to witness since Maddie was petite. She did a lot of garden work and sewing to occupy her time. She also taught two children at the abbey how to read. It was apparent how much she enjoyed that.
“You know, I once told Connor that I wanted to teach children. I had told him that it had always been an aspiration of mine. I don’t think he heard me. He had fallen asleep. If he didn’t recall things I said when he was fully awake, I doubt that he would remember what I said when he was falling asleep.”
“When did that happen?”
“Oh, it was during the first month of marriage. I wanted to share my old dreams with him. Connor always made me feel important, but it was all a lie,” Maddie said, bitterly.
Sister Margaret always liked to ask about Connor. Most of the time, Maddie would have a smile on her face and a far away look in her eyes. Some of those times, like this one, she would get sad and cynical.
“Child, you shouldn’t be doing this work when you’re so far along.”
“Nay, Sister. ‘Tis not much. Only an hour or two a day. ‘Tis the truth, I miss doing this.”
“Well, Maddie. Do be careful, ‘tis hot this day. Sister Mary should be along soon, bringing you your new dresses.”
“‘Tis shameful, that.”
“What?”
“That Sister Mary adjusts my dresses and makes new ones.”
“Nonsense. She enjoys the task and you are quite busy with your activities. Now, I won’t be hearing excuses later, Maddie. By sundown, you promised me that you would cease all of your activities. The baby grows large and I won’t be having harm fall to you or the blessed baby.”
“Aye, Sister. I have never once lied to you.”
Sister Margaret clucked. “Now don’t you be lying about lying,” she said, giving Maddie an incredulous look.
Maddie erupted in laughter that faded behind the woman walking back into the building.
She heard a familiar echo in her head.
He never would have brought you here if he didn’t feel something for you.
“How wrong you were, Miriam. Ahh, Connor,” Maddie sighed and looked down at her bare ring-finger, “Even after all that has transpired, my heart still calls out for yours.”