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All I Want by J.H. Croix (16)

Chapter 17

Dallas

I shook the snow off of my jacket as I stepped into the police station. I looked ahead to find a familiar face. Patsy Johnson had been the receptionist here as long as I could remember. Her once dark hair was streaked with gray, but her blue eyes were still bright. She flashed a smile when she saw me.

“Dallas! I thought you might be in to see Howard today. He said he had a call from you. So good to see you.”

“Always good to see you, Patsy. How are you?”

“Good, good. I have three grandkids now. I bet…” She paused, her mouth twisting with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I was about to say your mother would love for you to have grandkids, but she’s not here to see them.”

“It’s okay, Patsy. She’d have been crazy for grandkids.”

This would usually be the point when we checked in about family, but Patsy was one of many locals my father had fleeced. She’d gone out of her way to let me know I didn’t need to feel bad for my father’s actions, but it was still an awkward point for me.

“Howard available?” I asked, skipping past the moment.

“Of course.”

She tapped a button on her desk, buzzing the door to the back open for me. I stepped into the back hallway, recalling the only time I’d actually been in the back of the police station was when I'd shown up to bail my youngest brother, Ian, out of a bit of trouble. He’d been sixteen and got caught drag racing on a vacant road with his friends outside of town. He'd always been the wildest of us. He’d turned that energy toward work these days and for that I was relieved.

I heard Howard call my name and followed the sound of his voice into a doorway.

“Good to see you, Dallas. How the hell did you get back to Haven’s Bay so fast?” he asked, waving me to a chair across from his desk.

I shrugged as I sat down. “Hit the road early this morning,” I replied, leaving out the fact I’d left within minutes of Audrey’s text. “Damn glad Audrey found that stray dog yesterday. Sounds like the dog barking sent whoever was there running.”

I shifted my shoulders, trying to ease the tension there. To say I'd been tense for hours was an understatement. I’d been sleeping restlessly before I got Audrey's text because I should've just driven up here earlier. That was what I'd wanted to do. After her text and our quick call, I’d thrown on my clothes, grabbed my bag and left.

Howard leaned back in his chair with a sigh. “That’s what the guys told me this morning. She doin’ okay?”

“Oh yeah. She says she’s fine. A bit rattled and freaked out, but okay.”

My words sounded calm, but my tone belied the fierce concern I felt. It had taken an act of will to leave the house after I arrived this morning. I didn’t want to leave her alone, but she’d announced she was taking Molly to the vet and had some errands to do.

“Where the hell did she find that dog anyway?” Howard asked.

“Showed up whining at the back of the house. She’s already named her Molly. She's a sweetie, definitely a keeper, but not much more than a skeleton with fur. Audrey’ll spoil her rotten,” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh, I bet she will. Wanna take a look at what we’ve got from the different reports?” Howard asked, his gaze sobering.

I left Howard's office later after we’d pored over the various burglary reports. Howard had a few leads. As much as I wanted to take over the whole damn investigation from him, I had absolutely no jurisdiction. It was small-town, petty burglary. Yet, it felt urgent because of what had happened last night and the fact it involved Audrey’s safety.

I couldn't shake myself out of the emotional confusion she elicited. It was bothering me that I’d missed her. I’d only been away from her for two nights. It shouldn't have gotten to me that much. Hell, I knew I wanted her like mad. But wanting wasn’t the same as what I felt now. I’d felt almost visceral pain when I was concerned about her last night.

I gave myself a shake and hopped in my SUV. As I was driving past Emile’s, I saw Russ Porter stepping out of his truck. I spun into the parking lot and rolled my window down.

“Russ!”

Russ glanced over, his face cracking with a smile when he saw me.

“Dallas! Long time, no see,” he commented as I rolled to a stop beside his truck.

Russ was an old friend. We’d graduated from high school around the same time and attended college together. I’d gone on into FBI training, while he'd gone into his family's business. I climbed out, and he pulled me in for a quick hug before leaning against my car.

“Didn't expect to see you around,” he commented.

My visits to Haven’s Bay had dwindled after everything went down with my father. We used to get together every summer for fishing.

“Yeah, don’t get here as often as I’d like. Warren asked me to check on their place, and I needed a break from work. I'm here for the month.”

“Wanna grab a beer together?” he asked, nudging his chin toward Emile’s.

“Sure.”

We turned in unison and walked into Emile’s. I was at loose ends and out of sorts. It would be good to catch up with Russ and maybe it would take my mind off of Audrey. We settled into a table in the back corner. Emile’s was a regular hang out for locals. Open year-round, it functioned as a combination coffee shop, deli and bar. Yet another place owned by Sherry and Emile. Emile caught my eyes from behind the bar, flashing a grin.

He rounded the bar and came over to the table. “Sherry mentioned you and Audrey were around.”

The three of us chatted for a few minutes about the weather and summer fishing. Emile waved one of the staff over with two beers for us. Before he stepped away, he glanced back. “How long will you be here?” he asked.

“At least until after the New Year.”

“Damn good to have you around. Make sure to stop by again,” he said.

I glanced to Russ. He must've sensed the slight confusion in my expression.

“What? Dude, you grew up here. Of course people miss you. Everyone knows you had nothing to do with the shit your dad pulled. Since you won’t come out and say it, I will. You’ve been avoiding this place ever since that shit went down. No need. Be good to see you in the summer again too.”

I rolled my head from side to side, easing the sudden tension building in my shoulders. All I had to do was think about my dad and what he’d done to get tense. I took a gulp of my beer.

“It's hard to come here and look at everybody he betrayed,” I finally said.

Russ ran a hand through his dark brown hair and nodded. “I bet, but it's not like you didn't do everything you could to clean up his mess.”

I took a deep breath and let it out. “Right. I did what I could.”

Russ was quiet for a beat, his dark gaze assessing. “How are Noah, Ian and Thea?” he asked.

“Pretty good. You might be seeing them soon too. Thea wants to round the boys up for Christmas.”

Russ flashed a grin. “Leave it to Thea. She's always herding everyone up.”

I chuckled. “That she is.”

“Heard Audrey’s big wedding is off. She planning on staying through the holidays too?”

Russ couldn't know that was a loaded question. The superficial reason for me to be here was no longer necessary. Not with Audrey here.

“Think so. Says she’s not up for her family feeling bad about her canceling the wedding. I’m not willing to leave her here alone either, not after what happened last night.”

Russ arched a brow in question. I quickly explained about the attempted burglary.

He shook his head slowly. “Damn. Glad she’s okay. Howard's been chasing his tail on that one. My guess?”

“What’s your guess?”

“Couple of those kids just outside the edge of town. They're always looking for a quick buck to score drugs.”

“Have you told Howard?” I asked.

“Yup. Stopped by a few weeks ago. One of the places they broke into was down the road from us.”

“Any names?”

Russ continued, and I recognized a few names from my discussion earlier with Howard. I needed to leave this one alone. It was chafing at me, but Howard clearly had as good of a handle as I would. My anger wouldn’t help. This had gone from a helpful interest to way too personal. All because it involved Audrey.

Conversation moved on. Russ filled me in on his life. He helped run his family’s commercial fishing and timber business. Married with two kids, he was settled and happy to be so in Haven’s Bay.

Somewhere along the way, conversation turned back to Audrey. “Okay if I let Julie know Audrey’s around? She heard what happened, and she’s all worried. How is Audrey holding up anyway?”

“I think she’s okay. Fucking asshole screwed around on her with one of her friends.”

Russ’ eyes widened. “Jesus fucking Christ. Asshole is one way to put it. I guess she’s better off without him.”

“You're telling me. Yeah, she said things weren’t great for a while and then this. Honestly, she says she’s relieved. It’s not a secret she’s here, so feel free to tell Julie. I’m sure she’d love to catch up.”

I wanted the conversation off of Audrey simply because talking about her made me think about her and thinking about her made me want her. Thinking about her also made me worry about what happened last night. More to the point, it made me worry about the depth of my response. I’d been in a near panic driving up last night. I didn't panic. Ever. I stayed calm no matter what. Yet, all bets were off when it came to Audrey.

I managed to get the topic off of Audrey, only to have Russ zero right back in after he updated me on his kids.

“You ever gonna settle down?” he asked.

I shook my head slowly. “Not in the cards for me. My job’s not really a good fit for family life.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Dude, you know what I do. I deal with ugly shit. My hours are long and late, and I don't have a lot of spare time.”

Russ rolled his eyes. “Dude, you forget I met one of your best buds from work. He’s got kids, and he's doing the same damn thing. Might be good for you not to have your whole life be your work. I'm just saying.”

I knew he had a point, yet considering that brought me face to face with an uncomfortable truth. There was only one woman I could imagine settling down with. Audrey. I simply didn’t know if I could be the man she deserved.

I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh. “Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.

“You wanna know what I think?” he asked with a sly grin.

“Not really, but that never stopped you before.”

He chuckled. “You used to have a thing for Audrey. That last summer you were both here, I thought you were gonna have a meltdown every time you saw her. I figured maybe you two would eventually find your way to each other, but then she got engaged. Now she's free again, maybe something will come of it.”

My heart gave a swift kick. I couldn't fucking believe he’d zeroed in that fast on Audrey.

“Dude, she just broke up with her fiancé,” I said.

“Dude, he was screwing around on her.”

I managed to laugh off Russ’ comment and departed Emile’s not much later. Snow had started to fall softly. With the way the wind was blowing, I sensed a nor’easter was on its way. I swung by the grocery store to pick up some beer and wine. After I turned onto the coastal road leading toward Audrey's family home, I slowed as I drove past my childhood home. It was sitting vacant. I hadn't even been able to bring myself to stop by yet. Perhaps I should've worried about a break-in, although there was nothing to steal. The house was emptied except for the furniture. I still hadn't decided what to do about the home. Technically, it was mine, but it didn't feel right.

My heart gave another kick. Thinking back to my conversation with Russ, he hit on something uncomfortable. Despite what my father had done, my family had been close before. Though our father had always been distant and cold, he’d loved our mother. She’d been his one and only soft spot. Our mother had been the center that held our family together. Her death knocked away the anchor in his life. I shook my head as I paused in the road, looking down the winding driveway. I had so many reasons why I’d figured living a bachelor's life as an FBI agent was going to be my life forever.

Audrey whirling into my life like this was making me question a lot of things, all of them making me uncomfortable. After a last glance at the stark tree branches standing tall against the sky, I kept driving. The clouds were thickening out over the ocean. Snow was spitting here and there with the wind picking up.

I grinned when Molly met me at the door. After petting her, kicking off my boots and hanging my jacket, I headed straight for the kitchen, not wanting to ponder that I was damn happy to be here. Because Audrey was here. Whatever she was cooking smelled amazing. I stepped through the archway into the kitchen.

“Damn, smells good in here. What are you cooking?”

Audrey spun around. Her hair was up in a messy knot, loose tendrils falling around her face. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had a streak of something on her face. I grinned because she was so damn cute. Turning away, she quickly rinsed her hands in the sink.

“I’m making lasagna. I haven't made it in a while because Matthew was a health freak and wouldn’t eat it. I decided I’ll cook all of my favorite stuff while I'm here,” she said over her shoulder.

I refrained from pointing out any guy who didn't like lasagna was surely an asshole. In his case, Matthew was turning out to be more of an idiot than I’d originally thought. Audrey loved to cook and was crazy good at it. Whenever she’d be at our house with Thea years back, she often cooked. I was already half falling for her back then. The whole time I kept telling myself I couldn't, but it was near impossible once she was old enough for me to stop making that excuse. She took the beer from my hand and put it in the fridge as I set the wine bottle on the counter.

“Be right back,” she said.

I heard the bathroom door open and close in the hallway. When she returned, she looked over with a sheepish smile. “You could've told me I had sauce on my face,” she said with a low laugh as she returned to assembling the lasagna at the counter.

I chuckled. “It looked good on you.”

I sat down at the kitchen table, only to have Molly come over and rest her chin on my knee. “How did it go at the vet?”

Audrey’s gaze flicked down to Molly with a soft smile. “The vet said she's in okay health, but she's underweight. As if we couldn’t see that. The vet thinks she’s about nine months old. She figures the police might be right, that somebody probably got her as a puppy this summer and then left her here. I can't believe somebody would do that,” she said with a huff.

“It might not be as nefarious as you think. It could be that she ran off. I'm not saying that's okay,” I offered.

Audrey glanced over at me and shrugged. “Maybe so. Anyway, she’s had her first round of shots now. The vet gave me a special diet to give her to help her put the weight on gradually. She said it'll take four to six weeks before Molly gets to a normal weight and told me to be careful and not overfeed her.”

“Are you planning to take Molly with you to New York?”

Audrey lifted the pan of lasagna and slid it into the oven. Turning, she met my gaze, her hazel eyes flashing. “I'm keeping her, so I'll figure it out,” she said firmly.

“Let me know if you need any help,” I said. “Speaking of help, if you need help moving out of your apartment with Matthew, just say so. We could go down whenever you want.”

Her eyes widened. “You’d do that?”

“Of course. I figure he's not going to make it pleasant for you.”

She stroked Molly’s head when Molly padded over to her side. “No, he probably won’t. It looks like it might snow tonight, so maybe once we have a few clear days. I’d rather take care of it before Christmas. By the way, Thea called. She’s got Ian and Noah coming up for Christmas. She offered to help me move too. It was Matthew’s apartment originally, so I don't have any furniture.”

I nodded, my chest tightening again. I didn’t like thinking about how Matthew had treated her. No matter how relieved I was on her behalf that she’d dumped him on his ass, just as he should’ve been, it pissed me off he’d screwed around on her.

Audrey brushed a loose lock of hair away from her face and curled her hands on the edge of the counter. She wore a fitted denim button-down shirt, the buttons pulled tight across her breasts. My cock was already hard and had been since the moment I’d seen her. She had this crazy effect on me. It was a wild mix of emotion and lust, the two feeding into each other and making me feel more out-of-control than I ever had in my life. Molly meandered out of the kitchen, and I heard her feet padding up the stairs. I caught Audrey’s gaze.

“Where do you think she's going?”

Audrey grinned. “Oh she’s already decided her favorite place to nap is on the foot of my bed. I don't mind. I bet she hasn't had anywhere warm to be for months, so she can sleep wherever she wants as far as I'm concerned.”

She turned and set the timer on the oven and then pulled two wineglasses from the cabinet. Picking up the bottle of wine, she waved in the direction of the dining room. “Let's go in here.”

This was an older home and had fireplaces in the dining room and the living room. I’d noticed she had a fire going in the dining room on my way to the kitchen. I slipped into a chair at the corner of the table. As she stepped to my side to pour the wine, her presence was so close I wanted to touch her. Next thing I knew, I was curling my arm around her waist and pulling her against me. Thought hadn’t entered the equation.

She looked down, her eyes darkening. The soft thump when she set the wine bottle on the table should have nudged me out of this insanity. Yet, all I knew was I was tired, I was weary, I was tied up with need for her, and my emotions were a tornado inside. The only relief I could find would be with her.

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