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All I Want by J.H. Croix (79)

Chapter 16

Olivia

I scrolled through the screen in front of me and mentally noted a few details before glancing up to the patient in front of me. A football player—of the American sort, a distinction I hadn’t thought much of until Liam came along—sat in front of me on the exam table with a team doctor leaning against the wall behind him. This was a second opinion consult, and they’d flown the guy up here from Colorado. The player, Carl Taylor, looked weary and worried. He had good reason to be.

I set my computer tablet on the counter and clasped my hands over my knees. “Well Carl, let me get right to the point. As you know better than any of us, this is your second ACL tear. I think you can still play, but I need to be very clear about our limitations. If you choose to go forward with surgery, we can clean up the scar tissue built up there and do an entirely new graft. Our limits relate to the area where the old graft was attached and the care we need to take to make sure that area stays strong. I believe we can make things better, but what happens after that is up to you. I’m going to be very blunt—obviously you run hard when you play and you’ve struggled to modify the way you handle it when you’re on the field and taking a hit. That’s a big reason you’ve injured yourself more than once.” I paused when Carl’s brows rose.

He was clearly startled that I knew anything about how he played. “Right. I watch tape if I think it might help me understand the nature of your injury. I generally only do it for repeat injuries because it helps me know what we’re dealing with and why. You’re a defensive player, and I hear you’re considered one of the best. When I reviewed the tapes from when you injured your knee, you were planted and your knee collapsed on the outside. Guess what that means?”

Carl sighed. “I need to not do that.”

“Exactly. I can only imagine how hard it is because when you do something well, you instinctively keep doing that. If you choose to go forward with us treating you, I strongly recommend you set up video consults to work with our PT team after the surgery. For you to get back to playing, you need to be vigilant about changing some habits to keep from injuring your knee again.”

Carl nodded and glanced to his team doctor who looked from Carl to me before nodding. “If you think it’s doable, we’re committed to whatever you recommend.”

I’d already had my time to talk privately with Carl. He was still young and had a good ten years of play left in him if he could recover without reinjuring his knee again. I’d had consult cases like this where I turned them down, not because I didn’t think we could help, but because of the player’s attitude. Carl was open to any and all feedback, so I figured he had a shot of making this worthwhile. As I sat there looking over at him, Liam strolled into my thoughts—boldly, like he did everything. I marveled yet again at Liam’s effect on me. Carl was handsome by any standards with his brown hair, blue eyes and body sculpted from stone. I felt nothing. Not even a tiny flicker of desire, not even when I tried to elicit it.

Yet, Liam had walked into this room, turned his gaze on me and set me afire inside and out. It was so bad, just thinking of him now and my channel throbbed with need. Oh hell. It was insane enough I’d crossed every conceivable boundary with a patient and put my job on the line, now I was getting hot and bothered about Liam in an appointment with another patient. I gave myself a sharp mental shake and focused on Carl, forcing my brain back onto the details of planning his surgery.

Later that evening, after a day of back to back appointments, I walked outside and paused on the sidewalk in front of the clinic. The clinic was situated on a street with just enough elevation to offer a view of Puget Sound. The sky was blessedly clear this evening, and the sun was setting over the water, the horizon ablaze in orange and red with the water shimmering under the colors. I took a deep breath and turned to walk home. A short walk later after I closed my apartment door and hung my jacket, I began to go into the kitchen to start a pot of tea. I paused by the sofa and looked around. My cozy apartment felt empty and quiet. One night, just one night, with Liam and he’d turned my world upside down. Aside from the swoon-worthy kisses and bone-melting sex, he was warm and funny, and against all reason, I liked him and enjoyed every minute of time with him.

I hadn’t been able to help myself and looked him up online this morning. He, along with many soccer—correction football—stars, was a fixture in the gossip sites in Britain. I saw many photos of him with Alex and other players and only a few where he happened to be with a woman. According to the media, he had the reputation of hard-to-get. There was even a betting site with bets on when he might settle down with someone. There were a few recent stories that made my heart squeeze. As an attacking mid-fielder, otherwise known as a playmaker, he was relied upon for ball control and tactical awareness and the player who orchestrated the offense and distributed the ball—essentially the brain of the team. He was lauded as one of the best in the world and had led his last team in Britain to a league championship in his first year. There were numerous articles savaging him for losing his focus in the last few games he’d played and speculating as to whether his mother’s death had contributed to the problem. I wanted to scream at them because of course it did! It shouldn’t matter so much that he couldn’t be human and stumble a bit in his grief for his mother.

I looked around my small apartment and wondered what Liam saw in me. I might be a good surgeon and didn’t doubt my intellectual strength, but to think a man like him who was drooled over worldwide might want me was a bit of a stretch. To say it was hard to believe was an understatement. The weekend had gone by with me managing to keep from giving into the burning urge to see him again. He’d texted me regularly and appeared to be planning to ask to see me every day until I gave in again. I just didn’t know if it was the wisest thing to do. Yet, here in this moment, I ached to see him.

Restless, I spun on my heel and snagged my phone out of my purse where I’d dropped it on the floor. I quickly texted Daisy.

Dinner?

Her reply was swift. Where?

That Thai place. Forget what it’s called.

Daisy and I had dined in Seattle all through college and med school, so she knew exactly what I meant despite my vague response.

Meet you there in 30!

***

Almost precisely thirty minutes later, I walked into the Thai restaurant, the sign reminding me of its name, Thai Paradise. Daisy stood by the reception desk and gave a small wave. Her blonde hair was pulled into a loose braid, which swung when she leaned over to pull me in for a hug. “It’s so perfect you texted! They said three minutes and our favorite corner table will be ready.” She idly twirled the end of her braid and looked over at me. “I bet you had a better day than me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Queen Mean called me in to give me shit for not being promotional enough with one of our new studies.”

Queen Mean was the bane of Daisy’s existence at her job that she otherwise loved. As a medical researcher fresh out of med school, she was at the bottom of the ladder in her field. She was brilliant and had easily landed a position at a research facility, but she had to deal with a few egos—one of them being Queen Mean who wasn’t a doctor but wished she was. From what I understood, she focused too hard on trying to push medication trials out the door too soon. With all the hubbub over bad press in that very area, you’d think she had more sense. Daisy was true blue when it came to digging into the nitty gritty of research, so she was endlessly patient with the process of medical trials.

“She’s a bitch and she’s intimidated by you,” I declared firmly. “She also hates that the boss you share with her respects the hell out of you.”

Daisy looped her arm through mine and squeezed. “See, I already feel better.”

The waitress waved to us from the corner, and Daisy promptly dragged me to the table. Once we were seated, we chatted casually while our waitress got us drinks and took our order. After we were settled in and I was mid-sip, Daisy almost made me spew tea on the table.

“So, I happened to be driving by your building Sunday morning on the way to the gym and saw Liam leaving your building. What was Mr. Hottie doing at your place at that hour?”

With tea dribbling down my chin, I snagged a napkin and wiped it off. Daisy driving by my place was perfectly normal. We’d joined the very gym she mentioned together in med school. We occasionally managed to meet there, but we’d both gotten so busy with work since we graduated, it was more challenging to coordinate our schedules. I wasn’t used to anyone noticing anything about my personal life because there wasn’t anything to notice. I looked over at her and sighed, feeling torn. I wanted to tell her everything, yet I was all a muddle about the potential professional disaster I’d stumbled into. Even worse, I didn’t know how to handle the depth of my feelings for Liam. If there was anyone who could help me get some perspective, it was Daisy, so I forged ahead. “You might be happy to know those condoms you left all over the place finally came in handy,” I said.

Daisy’s mouth dropped open for a second and then she let out a whoop. “Oh my God! This is so awesome! You finally decide to have some fun, and he’s just so delicious.” She leaned back and clapped her hands softly. “Okay, tell me everything.”

Daisy was my oldest friend, so I generally did tell her everything. In fact, I’d complained at length about how boring my past sexual exploits had been. With both of us being doctors and going through med school in tandem, we were also far more accustomed to discussing topics that would make others blush. Yet, for reasons I couldn’t fathom, telling her everything just now felt strange. What happened with Liam was so intense, so startling in its intimacy, I didn’t know how to talk about it. Yet, I certainly wasn’t about to leave her in the dark because I was stumbling and fumbling for how to handle my feelings.

With my cheeks hot, I adjusted my glasses and met her gaze, trying to shove my uncertainty aside. “Well, he took me to dinner…”

“Where?” she jumped in.

“13 Coins.”

Daisy’s eyes widened. She knew how much time I’d spent there with my parents because she’d gone along with us many times before they died. She also knew it was their anniversary restaurant. “Whoa. That’s kind of, well, meaningful.”

I started winding a napkin around my index finger. “Maybe. Liam obviously didn’t know anything about the place.” Because I was uncomfortable with even thinking about that, I pushed ahead. “Anyway, so we had dinner and then, well, he spent the night.”

Daisy’s eyes searched my face. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged, my chest tightening with a small knot of anxiety. I didn’t know if I was okay. Was it okay to miss Liam as much as I did when we’d only spent one night together? Was it okay for me to wish he were someone other than an internationally famous footballer who was listed in betting books for reasons that had nothing to do with sports? Was it okay to suddenly rethink all of my preconceived notions about men and relationships and wish for something I’d never wanted? Was it okay that my body was so attuned to anything about Liam that all I had to do was think of him and heat slid through my veins, butterflies amassed in my belly, and my panties got wet? For example, right now.

With those questions tumbling through my mind, I looked over to find Daisy’s warm brown eyes on mine. “Oh,” she said softly. “You like him, I mean, you really like him. Don’t get so stressed about it. He really likes you too. I could tell.”

“How could you tell?” I asked, nearly breathless for her answer and wondering what to do about how much her answer mattered to me. I wasn’t prone to breathlessness over, well, anyone. I didn’t enjoy being tossed like a kite in the winds of my emotions.

At that moment, our food arrived. I’d chosen a red curry chicken with cashews, while Daisy had gone for drunken noodles. Once our waitress departed again, I looked over at Daisy. She took a bite of food and held her chopsticks up while she chewed. After a swallow of water, she leaned back. “Just the way he looked at you. It’s not like I know him well, but there’s those looks that are all about sex and then the looks that are more. His was more.”

I took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. “I think I’ve completely lost my mind.”

Daisy grinned. “Nah. You’re human. I always knew you had it in you, I just wondered who might get under your skin.”

I stared at Daisy, that uncertainty I was trying so hard to beat back rising inside again. Everything I was feeling startled me so. Unable to think clearly, I swatted my confusion away and rolled my eyes. “Fine. So what should I do?”

“See him as much as you can,” Daisy said with a firm nod. “I mean, he’s so easy on the eyes you might as well get every minute you can. I’m getting the idea you’re not going to give me any details since you skipped right over that, but I’m guessing he wasn’t boring in bed.” Her sly smile sent another rush of heat up my cheeks.

“Definitely not.”

“I’ll stop by your place tomorrow and make sure you’re stocked up on those condoms.”

I burst out laughing. When I managed to stop, I shook my head. “We only used one of yours and you left them everywhere last time.”

“Yeah, and you threw away half of them.”

Conversation started to move on, but I had one more worry I couldn’t seem to shake. “Do you really think it’s okay that I did this with a really, really recent patient?”

“Former patient. It’s been weeks since his surgery, and he’s officially no longer your responsibility,” Daisy said between bites, waving her chopsticks in the air for emphasis.

“Right, but…”

Daisy shook her head empathically. “Oh stop it! Moving on. Bradley at work offered us tickets to a Stars game. I was thinking we should go together. You could see Liam play and I can ogle the rest of the team. Whaddya think?”

“Liam won’t be playing for a while, but it’d be fun to go anyway. Shouldn’t you go with Bradley? I mean, they’re his tickets.”

“Bradley’ll be there, but he has four tickets, so I figure it’s maybe you, me and Harper.”

“You sure Bradley wants a group date?”

Bradley was Daisy’s ‘friends with benefits’ friend. I was never quite sure how to interpret what that meant.

Daisy shrugged. “I know it doesn’t make sense to you, but we really are just friends. If he cared about whether I brought anyone with me, he certainly wouldn’t have offered up the tickets. Plus, Liam should be back to playing by then. It’s for a game over three months out. Those tickets sell like wildfire and it’s all because of Liam and the other players they signed from London. The Stars finally have a real chance.”

The idea of seeing Liam play sent my belly in a somersault. This should have knocked some sense into me. Although most of my surgeries involved professional athletes, it was safe to say I didn’t feel too passionate about sports of any kind. It was more of a clinical interest, a curiosity about how the body worked and what was necessary for a particular player to play in peak form. It was all about getting them back to their best. Those screaming fans—not me. But the thought of watching Liam in action sent a hot shiver up my spine.