Chapter 33

Amelia

I walked quietly from my cabin out into the adjacent field, tossing cracked corn along the way once I got past the driveway. A flock of sandhill cranes frequented the field every summer. Several pairs nested here as well. I loved that they came back year after year and sweetened it for them by scattering cracked corn every few days. I reached the edge of the small pond and tossed what was left in my small bucket along the edge of the water. A few cranes lingered a short distance away. It was late evening with the sun resting low on the horizon above the trees. The air was chilly with the rain just now letting up. I paused by the pond and took a steadying breath. The air felt washed clean by the rain. Fireweed was starting to bloom towards one side of the field. In another few weeks, every open space nearby would be awash in fuchsia with the wild weed flowering in abundance over most of southcentral Alaska.

The internal peace I’d worked so hard to cultivate after the turmoil when everything blew up before with Cade was difficult to find these days. I felt ridiculous at how easily Shannon had manipulated me again. All she’d done was imply it somehow meant something that she knew Cade was out of town. I didn’t like seeing this side of myself again—the side that had driven me to bolt the doors around my heart and mind to anything that might brush against Cade. I didn’t know how to balance loving him the way I did, being vulnerable, and also somehow retaining a sense of internal sanity.

It’ll be better when he’s home. It’s just ‘cause you’re missing him like crazy. Yeah, but his job means he’ll come and go a lot. You have to deal with that. You can’t keep being this crazy about everything.

I sighed, my eyes drawn above to a pair of sandhill cranes flying down to land beside the others. If only humans could mate without so much fuss. Sandhill cranes mated for life, and as far as I could tell, they managed to do it without much drama. I laughed to myself, considering that I had no clue really. There could be tons of crane drama. Drama aside, they faithfully flew to the field every year and nested, taking good care of their baby chicks until it was time to fly south for the winter.

Meanwhile, I felt like an idiot because I couldn’t keep my shit together. The bland, easy-going nature of my relationship with Earl might’ve made my heart ache for what I didn’t have, but there was none of what I felt now. I’d tied myself in mental knots over Shannon’s tiny hint, based on not much of anything. Then, when I’d managed to think straight again, all I did was miss Cade. I’d been working like a maniac since he’d been gone to keep myself from going batshit crazy inside. I’d worked so much, we’d gone from being behind schedule on the latest project to ahead of schedule.

I took a last look around the field and returned to the house. The cranes were pretty tolerant of me walking in and out of the field, but they stayed to the side when I did, so I liked to give them their space. Once I was inside, I kicked off my boots and started peeling off my clothes. Despite the rain, Lucy and I had worked through the day. As such, my jeans were damp, along with everything else. My skin was chilled and clammy. I tossed my clothes in the washer and hopped in the shower.

When I stepped out a few minutes later, finally warm all the way through after turning up the hot water so high it nearly scalded me, my phone was ringing. Not thinking much of it, I dried off and pulled on a pair of fleece pants and a sweatshirt. I needed warm and comfortable tonight. My phone started ringing again. I strode across the living room to snag it off the kitchen counter as I was running a brush through my damp hair. Glancing at the screen, I didn’t recognize the number, so I didn’t bother to answer.

The ringing stopped, only to start again. “What the hell?” I asked aloud, although no one was around to hear.

“Yes?” I asked sharply when I finally gave in and answered.

“Am I speaking with Amelia Haynes?” a man’s voice asked.

“How about we start with who you are?” I countered, prickly and annoyed.

“This is dispatch at Fairbanks Fire & Rescue. We’re calling about your fiancée.”

I felt as if I was falling, my stomach hollow as if I’d dropped from a great height. My heart started pounding rapidly, and I felt sick. My knees gave way and I collapsed onto the back edge of the couch.

“Ms. Haynes? Are you still with me?” the man asked.

I swallowed and gave my head a little shake, trying to clear the buzzing sound in my brain. I felt lightheaded and strange, and I didn’t even know what was going on. One thing I did know: someone calling from Fairbanks Fire & Rescue could only be connected to Cade, and it couldn’t be good.

“Yes, I’m here. Just call me Amelia,” I managed to reply.

“Oh good, thought I lost you there for a minute. I’m calling about your fiancée, Cade Masters. Let me start by letting you know he’s okay. I can guess you might get concerned when I told you where I was calling from,” the man said, his voice calm, clear and reassuring.

Hot tears pressed against the backs of my eyes, and my breath came out in a whoosh. I hadn’t been able to form a thought about anything, but I’d been terrified something bad had happened, so knowing Cade was okay at least made it so I could breathe. “Okay, okay. Thank you for letting me know that,” I said, my words coming out in a shaky rush.

“Of course. I’m Ed, by the way. Feel free to interrupt, okay?”

When he didn’t continue, I realized he was waiting for me. “Okay.”

“Mr. Masters and half of his crew were in a plane crash. Everyone survived, but right now they’re waiting to be medevac’d out.”

My stomach started churning like mad, while my heart kept up its banging rhythm. “How long do they have to wait? Is Cade hurt?”

I managed to hold myself to two questions out of the hundreds I had. It didn’t escape my notice that Ed appeared to believe I was Cade’s fiancée. That odd detail sent a curl of warmth around my heart. I didn’t know who told him that, but I liked it.

“We’ve sent one helicopter out, but they can’t bring the full group back due to weight and the space needed to stabilize two passengers who sustained more serious injuries. Mr. Masters is waiting with the rest of the crew until we can return again.”

Relief washed through me. That meant Cade didn’t have serious injuries. As soon as my mind absorbed that, I jumped ahead.

“How long will that be?”

I heard the panicky edge to my voice and didn’t even care. It was approaching seven in the evening. If he wasn’t flown out soon, I knew that meant he’d be spending the night out there. Rationally, I knew he slept in the wilderness all the time. If there were ever any group equipped to deal with crashing in a plane in the Alaskan wilderness and carrying on without missing a beat, it would be hotshot firefighters. Hell, they could just as easily hike back than wait for help to arrive assuming they were in good enough condition to hike. Those rational thoughts didn’t dent the worry galloping through me.

“We’re hoping tonight, but it may not be until tomorrow. With the fire, all of our medevac helicopters are tied up. There was another emergency out in the fire field as well. We’re also dealing with significant visibility issues due to fog. The crew assured us they were equipped to make it through the night if needed. Mr. Masters passed along your name and insisted we call you since they’re located outside of any cell reception.”

I choked back my tears. It didn’t matter what I told myself intellectually. I was scared to death knowing Cade was out in the middle of nowhere—literally—and might be spending the night in the wet cold.

“Is he injured?”

“As far as I understand, the crew members who remained behind sustained only minor injuries. Unfortunately, I don’t know any more than that. I’ll be calling Mr. Master’s parents next. He asked we call you first and told us to tell you not to worry.”

A sharp laugh escaped—a hurt, worried laugh that couldn’t believe Cade would think I could manage not to worry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay, ma’am. Mr. Masters can tell you not to worry, but I make these calls like this often. I can imagine you’ll be worried. Our rescue crew did check everyone over, so they considered him stable enough to stay put until they can return if that helps ease your mind at all.”

I could hear the sound of ringing and beeps in the background of his call and realized he likely needed to move on. “I’ll do my best. I’m sure you need to go. Is there a number I can call for follow up if I need to?”

Ed quickly recited a number for me to call before ending the call. My arm dropped slowly. I stood where I was with my hips resting where I’d bumped into the back of the couch. My stomach was knotted with tension, and I felt buzzy and numb all over. All I could think about was Cade. I pictured him somewhere in the damp, cold wilderness. I knew he wasn’t alone, but in my mind he was.

I didn’t know how long I’d been standing there until my phone started ringing in my hand. Without thinking, I tapped the screen and answered.

“Amelia! It’s Georgia. Honey, I’ve called your mother, and she’s coming over to pick you up.”

For a beat, I was confused, and then the gears in my brain started to move. Leave it to Cade’s mother to swing into motion right away.

“Georgia, you didn’t need to…”

Georgia cut right in. “Honey, you don’t need to be sitting at home alone worrying about Cade. I’m worried too, but he’ll be fine. Rex and I are here, and we figure you might as well come spend the night here. Rex already called into the dispatch up there. I can’t even believe they didn’t call us sooner, but Rex says they probably have no idea Cade’s his son.”

I managed a semi-polite answer and got off the phone right before my mother arrived. Under normal circumstances, I’d have shooed my mother away. I was too abuzz with concern to resist and next thing I knew, my mother had bundled me into the car and driven us over to Rex and Georgia’s place.

I wasn’t thinking about much of anything clearly, but the second I stepped into their kitchen, it hit me. I had somehow managed to avoid coming to this home for the entire seven years Cade and I had been apart. Under the circumstances, that was nothing short of a miracle. Georgia was one of my mother’s best friends. She’d been pretty upset about our breakup, but she’d let me have my space. I hadn’t consciously set out to never come to this home, but somehow I’d pulled it off.

Walking into the sprawling log home tucked into the trees sent a wave of nostalgia crashing over me. I’d spent many an afternoon here in the early days of dating Cade when we were home from college in the summer. It was hot and heavy whenever we weren’t in Willow Brook, but when we were home in the summers, we practically camped out at his parents’ home. It wasn’t that we couldn’t go to my mother’s, but there was more privacy here. In those heady days, all we’d wanted was privacy.

With my heart knocking in my chest, I tried to slow my breathing, but it was an avalanche of memories. So many hours spent here with Cade. My eyes scanned the room. His parents’ home was a modern single story log home. The kitchen and living room had beams crisscrossing the tall ceiling. Georgia loved her plants, as such they were scattered about the area. Windows looked out toward Denali in the distance, but the mountain was shrouded in the falling darkness and fog.

My breath hitched. On the heels of the wave of memories, another wave of emotion crashed behind it. Cade was out in that darkness and rainy fog. A full hour had passed since I’d spoken to Ed from dispatch in Fairbanks. That hour meant Cade and whoever else was left behind with him would be staying through the night.

Rex, Cade’s father, must’ve noticed my expression because he slipped a chair behind me just when my knees buckled.

I glanced up into his face and managed a shaky smile. “Thanks. I, uh…”

Cade had his mother’s green eyes, but everything else was his father through and through. Rex shared Cade’s chiseled features and rumpled brown hair, albeit in a more weathered face and with streaks of gray. His brown eyes crinkled at the corners with his concerned smile. He squeezed my shoulder and sat down beside me at the kitchen table.

“You looked like you could use a chair,” he said matter-of-factly. “Georgia, are you making coffee or tea?” he called over to Georgia who was already spinning around with two mugs of something in her hands.

My mother sat down beside me and rested her cane against the edge of the table. Georgia slid a mug in front of me, and I curled my hands around it. I’d been cold ever since I’d taken that call. Rex said something to my mother, which I didn’t even hear. After a few minutes, Georgia was sitting across from me and reaching over to squeeze my hand.

“Hon, Cade is going to be just fine. Rex was able to talk to him through the radio earlier. I figured you’d be worried sick all by yourself, so why not come here, right?” Georgia asked, her warmth and concern so evident it was hard not to feel a little better.

“You talked to him?” I asked, my gaze swinging to Rex.

“Sure did. Just for a few. Maisie patched me in. Can’t tie up the signal since it’s the flight channel, but Cade said only two guys sustained serious injuries—the pilot and Jesse Franklin. The rest of ‘em have some cuts and bruises, but they’ll be fine. The fog up there’s heavier than here. You sit tight, and we’ll head up to Fairbanks tomorrow.”

“We will?”

My mother laughed softly. “Hon, I mentioned that on the way over, but I think not much is sinking in.”

I glanced to my mother to find her steady gaze on me. My mother was one of the strongest women I knew. I only wished I could be as strong as her. Physically speaking, I was, but my mother had an internal strength that had weathered her through my father leaving her with two young children at a time when she’d barely had two pennies to rub together. She’d not only pulled herself together, she’d given us an amazing childhood and paid for both of us to go to college. She’d taught me how to charge at life and grab it with both hands. What she hadn’t taught me was how to love someone as hard as I loved Cade and stay sane.

The tension and worry balled up in my chest and stomach eased slightly. Rex wouldn’t make light of it if there were something to worry about, that much I knew. As the chief of police for Willow Brook as long as I could recall, he was matter-of-fact and realistic no matter the circumstances. If he trusted Cade would be okay, then Cade would likely be okay.

“Figured we’d fly up tomorrow. We can fly from Anchorage to Fairbanks if there’s room, or my buddy said he’d fly us up in his small plane if the weather’s good. Way I figure it, Cade likely won’t get home until day after tomorrow, so if you want to see him sooner, let’s get up there,” Rex said.

I nodded and took a swallow of whatever Georgia had handed me, just now noticing it was tea. Conversation carried on softly around me, and I gradually began to relax inside though my worry wouldn’t stop until Cade was standing right in front of me, and I knew he was okay. Yet, it helped not being alone.

Georgia shooed me off to one of the guest bedrooms not much later with my mother promising to come by again in the morning with a change of clothes for me. Even though the tension coiled in every fiber had loosened slightly, I couldn’t relax. Every thought looped back to Cade, and my heart ached with worry and missing him. Now he was somewhere in the dark wilderness—cold, wet and most definitely not with me.