Chapter 4

Cade

I took a sip of coffee—a double shot in the dark, just what I needed. Two shots of espresso in the already rich brew from the diner were enough to nudge me out of my muddled state. Amelia sat across from me, one elbow on the table while she flipped through the menu. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of jeans she’d picked up at the department store near the hotel. Sporting a black eye and looking tired and out of sorts, she was so damn beautiful it took my breath away. I took a gulp of coffee, needing the bitterness to anchor me.

The sun glinted in her amber hair, gilding it with gold. Last night had been, well, maybe the hardest night of my life. I wanted Amelia—so fiercely, it was an ache I couldn’t assuage. She’d been just drunk enough to test my limits. She didn’t appear to recall she’d sashayed out of the bathroom last night, after unceremoniously yanking her wedding dress off, and straddled me where I’d been resting in the bed. Propped up on the pillows, I’d gritted my teeth and roughly set her aside. I might want her like I’d never wanted anyone, but I wasn’t about to take her when she was drunk and on the heels of walking out on her fiancée. I’d gathered bits and pieces of what happened. In short, she’d dated Earl, never loved him and didn’t believe he loved her. Apparently, she’d missed me the whole time.

Even now, I was still trying to wrap my brain around that. Amelia was a passionate woman. She didn’t do anything in half-measures, including anger. She’d iced me out of her life so completely, I couldn’t quite believe she’d missed me the whole damn time. I’d sure as hell missed her. Yet, I was also pissed. Seven years of being shut out and never once had she given me a chance to explain that absolutely nothing happened with Shannon. Much as I wanted to erase the time in between, I couldn’t. I didn’t even know if what I felt was really something. Was it just the echoes of what once was? Maybe I simply needed to get her out of my system, once and for all.

Amelia closed her menu and glanced over at me, her cognac eyes searching my face. My heart clenched so hard it hurt. Amelia was…well, she wasn’t an easy woman. She was so strong on the outside—tall, leggy and powerful, she exuded confidence and an innate power. Yet, behind that strength was a soft side.

Oh fuck. I couldn’t look at her and not go all crazy inside. Even worse, I was still sporting an erection. Had been pretty much since I’d picked her up off the floor last night. A mechanical release in the shower this morning hadn’t done the trick. I couldn’t be around her and not want her. I might not be full on like I’d been when I woke up beside her, but my cock was at half-mast and had been ever since I’d laid eyes on her in a tumbled mess in her muddy wedding dress on the floor.

Another gulp of coffee, and I realized I’d almost drained it. I caught the waitress’s eyes and held my cup aloft. She nodded from a few tables away. I glanced back to Amelia and decided I’d better figure out how to talk to her. No matter what happened with us, I was moving back to Willow Brook to stay and it’d be best for us both if we could find peace.

“So…”

I stared over at her. I’d meant to start off with something blunt, maybe even harsh. But my gaze landed on the purple, reddish skin around her eye and saw the pain flickering in the depths, and I just couldn’t. I could only drift but so far on the tides of bitterness. She was Amelia, the one and only woman who’d ever gotten to me. No matter how angry I was she never gave me a chance to explain, I’d loved her so hard once upon a time. The echoes of that love—in all of its wild, tangled glory—were still ringing inside. I also knew perfectly well why she’d been so pissed at me.

Hell, I’d almost lost my mind when I heard she was engaged. I couldn’t even stand to think she might be with anyone other than me. Thousands of miles of distance between us, and the only way I’d managed to deal with any of it was to shove everything away.

After Amelia had walled me out of her life almost instantly, I’d tried in vain for a week to talk to her. I could be as stubborn as her, so by the time my flight rolled around, I left Willow Brook behind, plenty pissed and bitter. Being able to walk into an intensely demanding year of training and stay on in a job where I often worked so hard I could barely think served to help me forget Amelia. Or trick myself into thinking I had.

I couldn’t help but wonder if my biggest mistake had been in actually leaving Willow Brook. Time and distance had allowed me to put off revisiting the ghosts of the lies Shannon wove around us. Hell, had I been around, at some point Amelia would’ve had to have talked to me. But I’d spent the last seven years flying in and out of the wilderness all over the place. Wherever the worst fires were, I went, along with my hotshot crew.

Now, I was back in Alaska and here to stay. Amelia sat before me, and I’d completely underestimated the hold she had on me. Beyond the fact she could easily intimidate any man, what with her height, her strength and her ballsy attitude, she held my heart in her hands and always had.

“So, don’t suppose you have a car somewhere around here?” I asked.

Amelia’s cheeks flushed as she shook her head. “No. My mom drove me here because, well, because we were supposed to fly out to Hawaii today.”

Of course. She had a honeymoon planned. The very idea of Amelia going on a honeymoon with anyone other than me nearly made me want to pound someone into a wall, but I took a breath and kept it together.

“Right. Should I drop you off somewhere? Do you need to call anyone?”

Her cheeks flushed deeper. “I threw my phone away. Look, I know this is weird, but could you just give me a ride to Willow Brook and drop me off at my brother’s place outside of town?”

She wanted a ride? Sweet Jesus. I did not know if I could do this.