Chapter 13

Dallas

“Cole, do you think I need to come down there?” I asked, running a hand through my hair and spinning to look out the dining room windows. Audrey had gone outside to gather some balsam fir to make a wreath. Her bright red coat stood out against the snow as she walked through the trees at the edge of the yard, gathering branches that had fallen to the ground. I laughed to myself. Of course she wouldn't cut the branches. That wasn't her style.

Cole interrupted my train of thought. That’s how easily distracted I was with Audrey. I prided myself on staying focused, and all it took was a gap between sentences and my mind spun to her like a weather vane in the wind.

“You don't have to come down, but it would probably help if you did,” Cole replied. “We’ll have him here for questioning by tonight. I can handle it, but if you were here, obviously you would handle the interview.”

My eyes tracked Audrey’s progress through the trees. I gave myself a shake, bringing my attention back to the phone call.

“Dallas?” Cole said.

I realized I’d waited a little too long before replying when he spoke. “You know what? I'll be there. I'll probably come down for tonight, do the interview and maybe stay through tomorrow, or the day after. Sound like a plan?”

“Of course.”

He paused, and I sensed he wanted to ask me something. He cleared his throat.

“You doing okay?” he finally asked.

“Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?”

“It's not that I don't think you deserve a vacation, but normally I would've expected you to already be on your way to Boston after our call this morning,” he explained.

“Just taking care of a few things up here. I was actually helping the chief of police review details on the run of break-ins they’ve had here. That’s the reason I'm up here to check on the house. But you're right. Normally, I would already be there. I’m testing myself to see if I can handle a vacation,” I said with a little laugh.

Cole accepted my explanation, and we ended the call. I set the phone down on the table and spun back to watch Audrey in the yard. She had a small armful of balsam boughs now, definitely enough for a wreath. As she returned and walked back towards the house, the wind blew her hair in a wild swirl. My heart twisted in my chest. Cole was exactly right. Usually I would've been in Boston already. Hell, normally I’d have taken his call in the middle of the night and left right then.

I had a convenient excuse with Howard showing up today, but the truth was the only reason I wasn't already in Boston was because of Audrey. It made no fucking sense what I was doing. I’d given into need and longing, trying to convince myself that's all it was, and it would be enough. Stupidest thing I'd ever done. I gave myself a hard mental shake. It would probably be best for me to go to Boston. Probably best to stay more than a day or two. With Audrey here, the superficial reason of staying to keep an eye on the house was no longer necessary. I could let Warren know I had to leave for work, and I knew he wouldn't mind. There was a whole host of other things to consider. For example, he would then be worried about Audrey being here alone. They would probably want her to come visit with them.

I didn't know how she felt about that, but I sensed she didn't want to and for good reason. Hell, if I were her, I wouldn't either. She would be explaining things, trying to convince people not to feel bad, and trying to put a good spin on it. Separate from my own feelings, and I had somehow convinced myself I was separating them from this equation, it appeared she was relieved to have things over with Matthew. It appeared she wasn't too hurt beyond having her pride stung due to the betrayal. He’d clearly hurt her, but it was obvious she hadn’t loved him.

For that, I was relieved. If she had, I probably would’ve punched him the other night. As it was, it had been entirely unnecessary. Audrey had stood up for herself and hadn't hesitated to hold her ground. She’d been glorious. I loved that feisty side of her. Damn. I was so fucked. It wasn't just lust, and I knew it. I spun away from the window when I saw her getting closer to the house, immediately sitting down in front of my computer and zapping off a few emails.

The investigation Cole had called about was a big one. They’d arrested one of our main targets in Connecticut and were bringing him up to Boston tonight. It was the biggest break we'd had thus far. My specialty was financial crimes, and this investigation had started there. The trail of money had led us to a massive human trafficking operation that ran out of Boston and New York. I wanted the chance to interview this guy. I had confidence in Cole though and had no doubt he could handle it as well as me. I was questioning leaving because Audrey was here. Which was all the more reason why I needed to go. I needed to draw that line for myself, as well as for her.

Cold air swirled in from the entryway as she entered. The front door sat in the center of the house with archways on either side, one leading to the living room and the other to the dining room and kitchen. I heard her kicking the snow off of her boots and then she stepped into the archway. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips pink, and her eyes bright. She was fucking gorgeous. She held up the cluster of balsam boughs.

“Just enough for a wreath. I didn't have to cut anything,” she announced with a grin.

I managed to smile. I didn't know what it was about her decorating, but it made me feel strange. It made me want things I wasn't supposed to want. My job occupied most of my life in Boston. There would be no way that I could have the kind of life Audrey wanted and deserved. Even if I convinced myself I could, she’d be watching me work late nights and take off at odd hours during investigations.

It wouldn’t hurt you to work less.

Shut up.

Audrey’s a grown woman and plenty strong. She can make her own choice. You shouldn’t make it for her.

Shut up.

Great internal debate. I held her gaze and smiled, though it hurt a little. “So you did. Will that go on the front door?”

She nodded, glancing down to shake some of the snow from the boughs onto the tile floor.

I considered that I should tell her now I would be going to Boston for a few days, but I didn't. I watched her walk off into the back porch behind the kitchen where she got to work weaving the wreath together. I went upstairs to pack. I heard her footsteps come up the stairs and stop in the doorway into the guest bedroom.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

I zipped my bag closed and spun to look at her, keeping my expression calm. “They made an arrest in Connecticut for an investigation I’ve been handling. I need to go to Boston tonight for interviews.”

She was quiet for a beat, while my heart twisted in my chest. “Okay, drive safe.”

I didn't know what I'd expected, but a small part of me had wanted her to argue the point. Hell, I wanted her to go with me. I didn't say anything and simply nodded, swallowing against the tight feeling in my throat. Her eyes had gone from open to guarded. I hated it. But this was completely necessary. She didn't need to think I could be someone who I wasn't. I loved my job, and I was damn good at it. I couldn't consider giving it up for something domestic like love. I almost flinched internally when that word passed through my mind.

“Do you need me to make some coffee for you to go?” she asked as she turned and walked back down the hallway.

She was always so polite. Of course, she would offer to do that, and it made it all the harder to leave.

“Sure,” I said quickly, snagging my bag and following her down the stairs.

I jogged outside to start my car, returning to find her prepping a pot of coffee. We waited in silence while the coffee brewed. If she was upset, I couldn't feel it. She’d walled herself off from me. I could feel the distance she created acutely. I hated that too. I hated all of this. I wanted to step to her, run my hands through her hair, cup her cheeks, and kiss her. I wanted to tell her I would be back tonight. Because for her, I would make the four hour drive to Boston and back in the same day, if only so I could fall asleep beside her again.

I didn't do any of that. She filled a thermos and handed it to me.

“Will you text me when you get there? The roads are icy,” she said conversationally. “When do you think you’ll be back?”

I hesitated, staring into the layers of her eyes, the swirl of colors in the depths. I saw a hint of hurt, but she was too proud to let it show. I’d made my limits clear, and she would respect them. Even though right now, I wished like hell she wouldn't.

“Either tomorrow or the day after,” I finally said. “I should know tonight.”

She simply nodded and saw me to the door. For a flash, I considered kissing her, but I didn't. I turned, walked to my car and drove away.