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All I Want by J.H. Croix (39)

Chapter 12

Cade

I forced my feet in the direction of the counter, but damn, I had to make myself walk that way. I knew Amelia was here the second I stepped through the door. I could feel her before I looked over and saw her. I made it to the counter and glanced at the chalkboard mounted on the wall by the cash register. Firehouse Café was an old favorite of mine, well of anyone in town really. Janet served good food and kept the place lively. It didn’t hurt she’d been born and raised in Willow Brook, so she knew pretty much everyone and would help anyone in need. In the seven years I’d been gone, I hadn’t set foot in here a single time during my visits home. It reminded me too much of Amelia. For starters, she’d worked here off and on, but we’d also spent plenty of time here grabbing coffee or food together.

Two line cooks were busy at the grill with customers filling the stools at the counter. Being mid-summer, there were plenty of unfamiliar faces here, along with a mix of locals. The swinging door into the back opened, and Janet stepped through, her face stretching in a wide smile the moment she laid eyes on me.

“Cade Masters! I was wondering when you’d stop in. I heard from your mama you were back for good,” Janet said as she rounded the counter and pulled me into a hug.

I chuckled when she stepped back and pinched my cheek. Even my own mother didn’t do that anymore, but Janet could get away with it. “You look as handsome as ever. How are you?” she asked, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners with her smile.

The last time I’d seen her, her hair had a few streaks of silver. Now it was mostly silver with streaks of dark brown. She gave off a warm, motherly air, reinforced with her round figure and face, yet that air hid a spine of steel. She’d run this café on her own for years after her first husband died in a car accident on an icy highway up north.

I grinned back at her. “I’m doing all right. It’s good to see you. Really good.”

Janet glanced over her shoulder to reply to something one of the line cooks had said and then turned back. “Let me get you something to eat and drink. It’s on me today. What’ll you have?”

“Start me off with some coffee.” I paused and glanced around the café. Not a single table was open and the counter was packed. “Guess I’ll wait to find somewhere to sit.”

When I met Janet’s eyes again, she arched a brow and barely nudged her chin in Amelia’s direction. “You could join Amelia and Lucy. I’m sure they won’t mind,” she said with a gleam in her eyes.

I chuckled. “Not so sure about that.”

Janet put her hand on her hip and leveled me with a glare. “I know you gave her a ride back to Willow Brook, so no sense in playing dumb with me. Don’t worry about the gossip. She and Earl never should’ve been together. He thought she was some kind of challenge he could win. That man never appreciated her for who she was and isn’t the least bit heartbroken over her walking out on their wedding. Oh, maybe his pride took a hit, but nothing more. You go talk to that girl. If you mean to set things right, you can’t tiptoe around it.”

I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut. Janet laughed softly and spun around to get me a coffee. When she handed it back, she winked. “Plus, there’s nowhere else to sit anyway.”

I simply shook my head, but damn if I didn’t find myself doing just what she said. Janet had that effect on people—they tended to listen to her. I threaded through the tables on the way to the corner where Amelia sat with Lucy Caldwell. I knew Lucy in passing, but not too well. She’d moved to Willow Brook sometime when we were all in high school. She’d certainly turned heads for the guys with her blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty, but she’d been entirely uninterested in any of them. I’d done a little reconnaissance about Amelia in the few days since she’d grabbed ahold of my heart and body again after our way too brief encounter at her brother’s cabin. Well, truth be told, all I’d had to do was drop a few hints with my mom, and she opened the floodgates about Amelia. It was obvious she’d been holding back to the point she was almost resentful with me about it.

She’d told me Amelia had dated here and there and only seemed to get serious with Earl a year or two ago. Apparently, Amelia owned her own construction business now and Lucy worked with her. According to my mother, she hired out a few other contractors here and there, but Lucy was her only full-time employee.

Back when I’d been setting things up to do my training as a hotshot firefighter, she’d seemed at loose ends. I loved knowing she’d ended up doing something she enjoyed and was damn good at. I knew well it likely wouldn’t work out too great for her to try to sign onto another crew. Not many women worked in the construction and contracting field. Not even in Alaska where women swapped back and forth between being just as feminine as anywhere you’d find and then hiking mountains and hunting and fishing with the best of men. Amelia also had a rather strong independent streak. She liked to do things on her own terms. The flip side was when she got angry, she let it drive her too far sometimes. I had enough sense to know that part of her had certainly contributed to how thoroughly she’d shut me out.

I stepped around a backpack strewn on the floor and reached the table where Amelia and Lucy were seated. Lucy glanced up first, her blue eyes round and heavily lashed with thick blonde eyelashes. She didn’t do a thing for me, but I could imagine she drove the guys here crazy. Her looks were quite the contrast to her attire with her battered jeans, loose t-shirt, and a streak of dirt on her arm. “Hi Cade,” she said brightly. “I’m not sure you remember me.”

I inclined my head. “Lucy Caldwell. I might not have known you well, but I remember you.”

Lucy’s grin widened. “Good to know. How about you join us?”

I glanced to Amelia who’d lifted her gaze to me. Her cheeks were flushed. If she thought otherwise, she didn’t say a word at Lucy’s invitation. I could feel the turmoil rolling off of her in waves. I didn’t give a damn. I’d felt tossed adrift on a rocky shore after she iced me out of her life, and I knew perfectly well we had something not many people ever had a shot at. I wasn’t letting another chance slide by, no matter how much I was wrestling with my own tangled emotions.

I hooked my hand over the back of the chair and slipped into it. “Thanks for letting me join you,” I said, smiling slightly at Lucy before looking directly at Amelia.

With Lucy and Amelia facing each other, I was seated between them. Amelia lifted her chin slightly, and I fought the urge to lean over and kiss her. I had years of kisses stored up inside. The few we’d managed to have only served to stoke my need. She was maybe a foot away, so I reined in my body. It wasn’t easy being this close to her.

“Hey Amelia,” I finally said.

Her throat worked and her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink. Damn. I loved a flustered Amelia. It was a fairly rare occurrence. At least it was before. She was by nature strong and confident. Any chink in that made me feel special. Not because I wanted to fluster her, but because I felt so fucking raw when it came to her, I didn’t want to feel alone in it. Knowing maybe she felt vulnerable too eased the uncertainty.

When Amelia didn’t respond, Lucy emitted a loud sigh. “Okay, how about I leave you two be?”

Amelia’s eyes widened and she tore her gaze from me, a slightly panicked look in her eyes. “Oh no, you don’t need to do that. I mean, we have to get back to work and…”

Lucy shook her head. “You’re my friend, and I adore you, but you’ve dug in so deep to avoid this man here…” She pointed at me with a warm smile. “…that it’s time to stop that madness. I’ll see you in the morning. Let’s meet at the office and head out to the Jacobson site together.”

I promptly decided Lucy was absolutely awesome. Lucy didn’t give Amelia much chance to respond when she quickly stood and grabbed her plate. She leaned over and pecked Amelia on the cheek. “You’ve got this.” Those wide blue eyes swung to me. “And you’d better be on your absolute best behavior. I heard good things about you, so you’d better prove me right.”

Lucy’s innocent looks didn’t match her attitude. I sensed she’d give me hell if I hurt a hair on Amelia’s head. I wondered how much she knew about what went down. Seeing as getting an answer now was out of the question, I met her firm gaze and nodded. “Understood.”

She grinned. “Have fun kids.” She spun away, calling out to Janet, “I need a takeout box, Janet!”

I took a gulp of my coffee and glanced to Amelia. She was worrying her bottom lip, which she needed to stop. Or else I might have more trouble than I already did and end up kissing her right here in front of everyone. No matter how much I knew it seemed like it was for the best Amelia had walked out on her wedding with Earl, I was sensitive to the fact it wouldn’t exactly look good for us to make out in the middle of town less than a week later.

She met my gaze. “Hey,” she finally said. “Um, how are you?”

I wondered how to respond. Because the answer was complicated. On the one hand, I was great. The one and only woman I’d ever loved wasn’t marrying someone else. I’d finally been able to feel her come apart in my arms. While that had done nothing other than ratchet up the lust nearly burning me up inside, it felt so damn good. On the other hand, I was sitting here looking at her and wishing like hell I could bridge the chasm between us. Seven years of bitterness and regret on both sides. To truly get to what I wanted with Amelia, I knew we had to cross that chasm together, or what we had would never hold. Just like it hadn’t before.

I stared into her amber eyes, flickering with so much feeling, and tried to collect myself. “I’m okay. You?”

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “So-so. It’s, uh… Well, it’s weird knowing you’re here. You’re actually here. To stay.”

My heart gave a hard kick. I had to keep my emotions in check, so I took another gulp of coffee before replying. “It’s weird for me too. It’s not what I thought I’d be dealing with though, so that’s good.”

“What do you mean?”

I laughed, an edge of bitterness in it. “Well, I thought I’d be coming home and getting used to you being married to someone else.” I had to pause and clear my throat. “Look, you have to know I didn’t know how to do this. I convinced myself I was over you. I missed being here for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with you and all kinds of reasons that have everything to do with you. Now I’m here, and it’s not what I thought. You’re not married, and there’s no way in hell I can say I’m over you. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret the way things played out and I’m pissed you never gave me a chance to explain.”

Her breath drew in sharply, and her eyes glittered with the sheen of tears. Fuck. I was barreling right into the thick of it. Without thinking, I slipped my hand over hers. “Hey, I didn’t mean…”

She shook her head sharply. “It’s okay. You’re just telling it like it is. It’s not like we don’t both know it.”

Her hand was cold under mine, a subtle tremor running through her. I stayed quiet.

After a few beats, she glanced my way again. “Maybe we should just have lunch,” she said with a half smile.

I couldn’t keep from grinning. Emotions might be running in fits and starts inside, but the overriding truth was I was home and Amelia was here with me.

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