The coffee shop in the hospital is crammed with the staff for the next shift, visitors, and patients stretching their legs. I’m nursing a much-needed latte after my shift and catching up with unavoidable gossip, hoping that I’m not going to be on the day’s menu. My encounters with Joel have become more troubling and charged with tension that I’m convinced everyone can feel. I will fight it until the cows come home. I have to, even if that means ignoring the raw chemistry and connection until I’m a wreck. I can’t let us happen, I won’t. Still, I’m only human, and at my weak moments, I have to wonder how much longer I can keep pretending. I need a distraction, or I need to move on, or maybe both.
“Who’s that?” Nora asks, dropping her head low on the table as if that will soften her outside voice. Scarlet rolls her eyes, looking over to where Nora’s eyes are now staring out on stalks.
“That’s the new cardio surgeon, Dr McCallister. First day today, and he’s already giving your guy a run for his money in the looks department,” Scarlet teases, and it’s my turn to roll my eyes.
“He’s not my guy; he’s an ex.”
“You invite all your exes around for Christmas?” Her stud piercing catches the light as she arches her brow nice and high.
“Those that help me out and are going to be alone, yes.”
“Riiight,” Nora chirps in and shares a knowing look with her girlfriend.
“And it wasn’t me that invited him; it was Ruby,” I clarify, irritated that it takes so little to rile me these days. Maybe it’s not these days, maybe it’s the subject matter.
“So you didn’t care whether Joel was on his own then?” Scarlet asks. The smugness seeps from her bright pink lipstick.
“I…yes, no, of course I cared if he was going to be on his own at Christmas, but that’s kind of irrelevant. The point is he’s not my guy. I don’t have a guy.” The volume and pitch in my voice have risen above the general white noise, and the whole conversation has kept me so distracted, I physically jump in my seat when the new doctor in question sits in the empty chair beside me.
“Glad to hear it. May I?” Both his question and my answer are redundant, given that he is now seated and smiling at me and my friends.
“Oh, yes, sure, why not?”
“Hope I’m not interrupting. I always find it best to just dive right in when making new friends, and since you were all looking my way, I didn’t want to ignore this golden opportunity.” He places a water bottle and a mug of coffee on the table. He shakes the sugar packet before tearing it open and pours the brown granules in a small mound that instantly sinks into the foam of his coffee.
“Golden opportunity?” I ask.
“To make new friends.”
“You know the doctors normally sit over there.” Nora points to the circle of white coats in the corner of the cafe. Scarlet’s eyes widen as do mine at Nora’s curtness.
“So they do. So what’s the verdict?” He casually stirs his drink, either oblivious or simply choosing to ignore the inference in Nora’s pointed comment.
“Verdict?” Confusion mixes with intrigue. Who is this man?
“How do I score? I’m hoping for a good six.” He sucks the foam from the spoon, a slow and deliberate move of full lips, sweeping tongue and the sound of stubble scraping. Oh, my. I cast a glance around the packed cafe and notice I’m not the only one transfixed by the new guy.
“I may bat for the other team but I’d give you—”
“Nora!” I interrupt my wayward friend just in time.
“I’m David, or Mac to some. It’s nice to meet you.” He holds out his hand to me, and I shake it and make the introductions. “I’m Regan. I work in Peds. This is Scarlet; she’s in ICU, and Nora is in Cardio, like you.”
“Not so much like you. I don’t have the pay packet or the penis.” Nora adds with a snort, crudely cupping herself.
“And you wouldn’t want one,” Scarlet quips. “Although the pay raise might come in handy if you did want the op, but then I’d have to find me a new girlfriend, and I kind of like this one, even with her foul mouth and no filter.” Scarlet leans over and ruffles Nora’s short spiked crop of black hair.
“You love my foul mouth.” Nora winks and blows Scarlet a salacious-looking kiss.
“Guys, I know I don’t get out much, but is this really how we behave in front of strangers?” I feel a friendly reminder is prudent, because, although this is mildly flirtatious for them, I know from experience it can very quickly go south in every sense of the word, even in public, even at work.
“Regan, you don’t get out period, unless it’s to take Ruby somewhere, and the day I change my behaviour is the day I start sucking dick for a living.” Nora’s voice echoes off the walls, and I sink a little in my chair, feeling the burn in my cheeks.
“Which would be when hell freezes over, in case that was unclear,” Scarlet paraphrases, which makes me chuckle, as if that was necessary.
“Nothing unclear about that.” David suppresses a smile, and his eyes flit from Nora to Scarlet and back to me. “I knew I chose the right table.” He tips up his bottle of water in an appreciative salute before taking a long draw. When he places it back on the table, he floors me with his next question. “Will you accompany to the Surgeon’s Ball this Saturday, Regan?”
“What the what now?” I cough and choke on my own coffee, failing to keep it contained. The liquid dribbles down my chin much to the amusement of my friends and David. “Sorry, what?” I use a napkin to wipe my face clean. The shock, however, would take a napkin with some industrial strength cleaner to shift.
“I was hoping you would be my guest to the Ball on Saturday. I have this invitation, and I don’t really know anyone.”
“You don’t know me,” I blurt, and a nervous laugh fills the silence at the table. My friends are comically set with jaws dropped and gapping mouths.
“True, but your friend just said you don’t go out, period, which is shocking, by the way.” He leans closer and whispers the last words in a teasing manner.
I explain my reason or at least my lame excuse for why I’m a recluse. “I have a daughter.”
“And she keeps you locked in a basement?” He nods in mock understanding. Scarlet snickers, and Nora bites her lip ring into her mouth, uncharacteristically silent.
“Not exactly,” I mumble.
“So she would let you out for one night?”
“It’s not that.” I shift in my seat, feeling the intensity of three pairs of eyes staring through my weak defence.
“Then what?” he asks, his smile is genuine and optimistic. Oh, god.
“Yes, Regan, what is it? Why can’t you go to the ball with the hot doctor?” Nora asks, her tone clipped with sarcasm.
“You’re not waiting on a better offer by any chance.” Scarlet pokes.
“I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes by asking you, am I?” A flash of concern passes over his face. His thick brows pull together, and his dark-rimmed glasses frame the intensity in his unusual blue eyes.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I say yes? Dumbass, you know why.
I close my eyes, and my mind races with the best way to say no when I hear it. It’s not even his voice; it’s hers. My stomach drops, because I know it’s him making her make that noise. I look over to my friends, Scarlet’s expression is filled with concern, and Nora looks like she could kill. And they don’t even know the whole sorry tale. They just know an ex is usually an ex for a reason and regardless of the reason, I’m their friend, and with them, it’s most definitely sisters before misters. I look in the direction of the sickly sound of girlish laughter, and lo…there he is. The small alcove hidden from the main thoroughfare is clearly visible from where I’m sitting. His profile is mostly in darkness but I recognise his shape, the way he leans over her and the flashes of his dirty blonde hair when he comes out of the shadow. Gift shop girl is plastered over his front preventing a full view as he manoeuvres her back into the darkness, but it’s him, and the last image is of his hand squeezing a sizeable chunk of her ass. I blink the image away and answer David’s question.
“No, you’re not stepping on any toes.”
“Then you’ll come?” His question is tentative and hopeful.
“I’ll come.” I flash a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes.
“Yeah, you will.” Nora mutters loud enough to be heard by everyone in a five block radius.
“Nora!”
Ground swallow me now.