Christmas Morning—Now
“Mmm, oh, god, that feels good” I let out a heavenly sigh as my dream saturates my body with the most amazing sensations. Tingles in all the right places, scorching heat racing in my blood like a wild fire, and a liquid mess pooling between my legs.
I could pinch myself, it all feels so real.
For now, though, I’ll just keep my eyes closed and hope this dream will last forever, or at least until I can thank the talented individual currently feasting on me like a starving man
Oh, god!
My fists clench in the pillow, and I stifle a scream that wants to rip from my throat announcing to the whole damn world how amazing this feels. Even in my sleep, I’m conscious of waking Ruby. Still, I can’t think of a better way to start the day.
My back arches, and I wantonly press myself against his wickedly wonderful mouth. His tongue swipes a long, languid stroke from my entrance to my clit and back again…and again and again. I groan as frustration leaves my mouth, but it’s eclipsed by a deep sigh of carnal satisfaction. His fingers slide inside me, two, then three, and he twists them and softly pumps into me. The friction and pressure are perfect. My innermost muscles pull and release in an unstoppable clenching frenzy. A deep, delicious ache starts to build at the base of my spine when his tongue slides along my soaking flesh, and he starts to pick up the pace.
My heart pounds so hard in my chest, the noise is only barely drowned out by my ragged breaths. I tense at the first wave and panic. This is going to be incredible, and for some reason, that has me trying to crawl away from the onslaught of pleasure. Any evasive manoeuvres are useless, since his free hand, along with the full weight of his strong arm, is resting across my tummy, anchoring me in place. This feels so real. All I can do is take it, endure the mind-blowing sensations that start at the tip of my toes and tear through my body like a freight train. I soar for those endless, blissful seconds that feel like hours, where my breath freezes in my lungs, and my eyes see nothing but shooting stars and hazy light. Every nerve ending in my body crackles with life and energy.
I land back on this planet from the most unbelievable high and finally open my eyes.
Shit!
Fuck!
Not a dream.
“You have to go,” I growl, as I whisper and snap my legs away from either side of his waist. I twist over to the other side of the bed, fishing around for something to cover my wanton nakedness. I can’t believe I let him stay. I can’t believe we fell asleep; however, I can believe he woke me up like that. Oh god!
“And you’re welcome.” He narrows his eyes and drags his bottom lip slowly between his teeth. The movement is so slow, deliberate, and heated, I can feel the ghost of the prickles from his day-old stubble on my skin. I shake myself from the daze his nearness induces and try to focus.
“I’m serious. Ruby is going to come crashing in here any second…get up!” I tug my t-shirt into place and start to manhandle him from my bed, pushing and shoving what appears to be an immovable mass of manliness. I plead. “You need to go, Joel, like now!”
“Can I at least wipe your come from my face,” he replies, snatching the edge of the comforter and wiping my slickness from his full soft lips.
“Don’t get all pissy; you’ve kicked more girls to the curb the morning after than I’ve had hot dinners, and don’t try and deny it,” I retort. He raises his perfect dark brow sardonically before responding.
“I’m not going to deny it, but at the very least, I let them catch a fucking breath before I show them the door. I have even made them coffee on occasion.”
“Such a gent.” I quip, yet still, he doesn’t move. I have to wonder if he has ever been on the receiving end of an awkward morning after where you just need that person to leave. I haven’t had many, and all of them were for the same reason: Ruby. I never want her waking up to find a strange man in her momma’s bed. I do not want to be that mom, and especially not with Joel.
“You know you can be a massive bitch sometimes, Regan. I never thought you were like your sister, but maybe you are.”
“I’m nothing like my—shit!” I hear the thunder of tiny feet stopping me mid-retaliation, and my heart seizes with fear.
“Momma, momma, Santa came!” My bedroom door swings wide, almost as wide but not nearly as wonderful as the huge smile bursting across my little girl’s face. “He came!” She squeals and spins on her jammie-covered feet, in a blur of tousled black curls, and a body too excited to contain itself. She flails wildly and disappears back into our living room. Joel and I are frozen like a pair of bunnies in the headlights, his hazel-golden eyes slightly wider than mine, the comforter pulled up to his neck in the panic. It takes a split second now that my heart has started to beat again, to realize I don’t think Ruby even saw him.
“She’s the spitting image of you, Regan.” His voice is soft, and if I didn’t know better, I would think it held a tinge of awe.
“Joel, please, you have to go.” I hold my hands together in prayer. Nothing else seems to be working, maybe some Divine intervention might save my slutty arse.
“Jesus, Regan, can’t I even say hi?” He roughly pushes the covers back and stands, irritation pinching his jaw tight, hurt clouding the gold flecks in his eyes. Even so, he looks glorious…naked and—
“Momma!” Ruby calls from the living room. I can hear shuffling, hurried little footsteps and gasps of excitement getting nearer again. I grab Joel’s hand and yank him back into the bed, this time, I push him low and pull the cover completely over him just as Ruby returns. Big mistake.
“Momma, look what Santa got me!” She holds up her little sack like it’s the crown jewels, and my tummy tightens with the hope at least one of the toys she wanted so badly is in there. It’s a pretty fair chance that Joel’s niece is just like any other five-year-old. but a very slim chance that Joel would know what the ‘must have’ toy for little girls is this year. She scrambles onto the end of my bed, hindered by her vise-like grip on the sack. It’s a difficult task, judging by the concentration on her screwed-up face.
I jump at his touch, and a shocked, tight smile fixes on my face when Ruby frowns at my sudden stiffness. Joel’s strong, insistent hand eases its way up my inner thigh. He’s a massive mound beside me. I’m trying to position myself to block this comforter mountain from Ruby as she crawls to my side and shuffles her bottom to sit cross-legged on my pillow and jabber about hearing the sleigh bells and seeing red-nosed reindeer. I clamp my thighs together and bite my lips shut, nodding and smiling at whatever she’s trying to tell me. I’m going to kill him. His fingers reach the top of my thighs, and because he left me so wet from my wake-up call, they slip easily between my legs and along my folds.
“Oh, god!” I utter on an exhale.
“Momma?” Ruby tilts her head, and I do the only thing I can now that I know Joel has no boundaries.
“Ruby, momma had a friend stay over last night.” I pull the covers back and Joel jolts back and removes his hand. He recovers quickly and flashes a warm, genuine smile. I ignore the blow that strikes my chest, because I’m so mad at him for forcing my hand…with his hand.
“Hello, Ruby. I’m Joel.” He holds out his hand to shake in a formal greeting with Ruby, and I scowl at the hand he offers, my jaw gaping. Really? He snatches it back and waves instead, a flash of horror rightly striking his expression as he mouths his apology.
“Why is Joel in your bed, Momma?” Ruby asks, her tone only mildly curious. I’m grateful today has her more than a little preoccupied, or this conversation would very quickly turn into something more akin to the Spanish Inquisition. For a five-year-old she’s remarkably astute or noisy, depending on who is on the receiving end of her attention.
“Mommy’s car broke down, and Joel brought me home. It was late, and I asked him to stay. It had started to snow again, and—”
“Cameron sleeps on the couch.” She remarks pointedly, and I feel like I’m being reprimanded.
“Cameron?” Joel adds his own unsolicited judgment.
“So, baby girl, what did Santa bring you?” I clap my hands together enthusiastically, ending this line of questioning.
“Presents!” She squeals, and I’m thankful inquisitive minds are easily distracted when Santa has left a sack of goodies. I’m so not looking forward to the teenage years. I can only hope she’s more like her aunt than her mother.
“Okay, you can open one now and you can open the rest after breakfast,” I explain, and Ruby nods her understanding.
“You’re evil,” Joel chips in.
“What?” I twist around to see him shaking his head.
“Making her wait like that.”
“It’s not like I’m making her wait until this evening, like your family.” I never spent Christmas with Joel’s family when we were together, but he did tell me that not a single present was exchanged until after dinner in the evening and nothing was ever from Santa. They may have had more money than Rockefeller, but as far as I could gather, there was no magic in the Prescott household. “My family, Regan, not me.” he states, his emphatic tone clarifying the difference. He leans closer and whispers against my neck and not nearly quietly enough, “And I happen to know someone who really doesn’t like it when she’s made to wait.”
“Who, who? Who doesn’t like waiting?” Ruby looks up from rummaging in her sack.
“Your momma. She hates it when I make her wait,” Joel answers, grinning from ear to ear as my face colours with the heat of a flash fire.
“All right then, which present, baby? Pick one and I’ll make us pancakes for breakfast.”
“Yay! Pancakes!” She bounces on her bottom and wraps her tiny arms around my neck, squeezing the life out of me. I don’t know what I was worried about. We’re never going to be rich, but this little girl is happiest with the simplest of things, and hugs and pancakes are well within my pay grade. She digs deep into the little sack Joel gave me last night, and when she pulls out a small rectangular box, beautifully wrapped and tied with a white silk ribbon, we both smile excitedly at what might be inside. She tugs with surprising delicacy at the bow, and I shiver with the dance of tingles racing across my skin as Joel’s soft lips press at the crook of my neck, and he plants two more feather light kisses across my shoulder. His body radiates a heat I find myself sinking against, my back to his naked front.
I recognise the colour of the box, and I start shaking my head with disbelief even as she breaks into the light green jewellery box.
“Momma, look!” She holds up the beautiful necklace in her pudgy fingers.
“I’m looking…I’m looking.” I swallow the dry lump in my throat even as saliva pools in my mouth. I’m going to throw up. “I’m hoping I’m not seeing what I’m seeing,” I whisper over my shoulder.
“Momma, it’s a princess’s necklace. I’m a princess.” She waves the chain and light catches the diamonds, and I just know they are real.
“Yes, you are. Would you like me to put it on?” Joel offers.
“No, silly, it’s for girls, not boys.” Ruby scrunches her nose and giggles.
“Of course.” Joel laughs, a light, happy sound I wish I could enjoy. I’m numb. “Would you like me to put it on you?” He clarifies.
“Yes, please, Joel.” She holds out the rose gold diamond crusted pendant and shifts her body so she is leaning against me, holding her hair out of the way for Joel to do the honours. I’m speechless.
“Does it look beautiful, Momma?” She holds her chin up high whilst also trying to look down, an impossible and comical task.
“It does, baby girl. It’s very pretty.” I stroke her long locks away from her face. She beams with pure joy, and her eyes sparkle like the diamonds embedded in the heart-shaped rose gold pendant around her neck.
“Not as pretty as you.” Joel bops her nose, and she falls against me in a fit of giggles. I can’t help joining in; her laughter is infectious, and I soak up every ounce of the joy she gives me.
“Joel, are you staying with us today?” She holds the heart in her fingers pulling it absently along the chain but drops it when I snap my response to her innocent question.
“No! Joel has to go!” I have to force a light laugh to soften the harsh panic in my tone. “Joel wants to spend Christmas with his own family.”
“Actually I don’t have any plans, my family aren’t around this year.” Joel announces, and my shoulders sag. I know what’s coming from my very compassionate daughter.
“Yay! You can stay with us. We have lots of people at Christmas. Momma says no one should be alone at Christmas, don’t you, momma?”
“I may have said that, but I’m sure Joel would rather be with his friends.” I mumble, and, with my eyes, implore Joel to take the hint. No such luck.
“You had a sleepover, Momma. Joel is your friend. Would you like to stay with us today, Joel?” And there it is, the invitation I really didn’t want to extend.
“I’d love to, Ruby.” Joel grins wide and is more than a little smug. “I’m on call, so I might not be able to stay all day, but I’d much rather be here with you than at the hospital.”
“Are you a nurse too?”
“No, Ruby, Joel’s a doctor.” I explain softly.
“Oh,” Ruby shifts her little bottom further away from Joel, and her lips purse thoughtfully.
“Oh?” Joel asks.
“Ruby isn’t a fan of doctors.” I offer and cup Ruby’s face. She’s already smiling off her justified concern, and I give her a big kiss.
“Really? Maybe she doesn’t take after you after all,” Joel quips, and I roll my eyes. Oh, lord, it’s going to be a long day.
“Riiiight, then, who’s for pancakes?” I declare with more hand clapping.
“Yay!” Ruby strangles me once more with the best of hugs, and then, like a tornado passing through, she is once again gone from the bedroom.
“You bought a child Tiffany jewellery? What the hell, Joel?” I twist around and slap him on his chest. He captures my hand and holds it there on the firm muscle. I swear I can feel the strong staccato of his heartbeat under my fingertips—or is that mine?
“Ruby liked it.”
“Of course she liked it.” I try to pull my hand free, but he won’t release me. His firm hold is nothing compared to the gaze he has fixed on me. I force myself to speak. Looking at me like that, with a mix of tenderness, intensity, and raw desire, I feel myself slipping. I could so easily lose myself in those golden depths, knowing how good it was between us…how unbelievably good, magical even, and I can’t let that happen. I’d never survive, I barely survived the first time, and I have Ruby now. “How much was it, Joel? I’m never going to be able to afford to pay you back.”
“It’s a gift, Regan. Let me give the damn gift.” He sighs with frustration, and I feel like a royal shit.
“It’s a bloody expensive gift, Joel.” I drag my hand through my hair. I know he’s just being kind, but it’s too much. “You know she doesn’t know the difference between Tiffany’s and a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy. She’ll probably lose it today.”
“Then she has one day with it, and if that makes her happy, then it was worth it. There’s nothing wrong with taking happiness where you can, Regan.” He wiggles his brow playfully, and I laugh with my response.
“Spoken like a true hedonist.”
“She’s a cutie, Reggie. You’ve done good.” He pulls me into a rough tussle hug, rolling me beneath him. His lips find mine, and I surrender to his kiss. He’s a really good kisser. When he breaks the contact, my chest feels like it’s going to explode. My heart is pounding, and I have to suck in large breaths to refill my lungs. My brain floats in a haze of happiness, and that’s when my mouth thinks now would be the perfect time to contribute—unchecked.
“I didn’t have much of a choice.” My tone is harsh, and he reels back as our past peers up and slaps him in the face.
“You should’ve told me.” His voice catches, and I buckle. What the hell are you doing, Regan? Don’t fucking go there, not now, not ever. Shut it down!
“It had nothing to do with you.” I push out from under him and swiftly create the necessary distance between us.
“She could’ve been mine…ours.”
“Not today, Joel.” I fold my arms across my chest and step back, dredging up whatever strength I have to close the subject I should never have started. I don’t even blame him, we were both at fault but I know one thing for absolute certain, we can’t go back. “Not ever.”