“I’m going to cry. Our little girl is all grown up.” Cameron hangs his long arm over Harper’s shoulder and pretends to wipe his eyes dry.
“Girl clothes.” I beam, smoothing my hands down the slinky satin of my floor length electric blue ball gown. The material is heavy and hangs like a sexy second skin. I can’t stop touching it. A simple fitted vest type front hangs from spaghetti straps that criss-cross over my shoulder blades. The back is scooped and cut low, to just above indecent. I can feel the emotion well and bubble in my throat and behind my eyes. I indulge in a slow spin on the spot in Harper’s hallway, checking my unrecognisable reflection in the full-length mirror.
I dropped Ruby at Shannon’s and decided to get ready for my big night at Harper’s house. Unlike me, I knew she’d have all the magic to assist this transformation. Ruby owns more make-up than I do. Dresses are in short supply, and forget anything to do with taming my hair. I’m happy to be a ponytail and PJ kinda girl, but tonight, I needed the big guns. I’d like to say it’s because this is my first ball, or that I want to look nice for David, when the truth is far more shallow. Tonight we are sharing a table with Joel and his ‘date’.
“I feel a little sick.” Cameron’s mouth jerks with what I hope is a fake heave.
“I’ll get some water.” I start to gather the abundant sways of material in one hand to give me enough freedom to move my legs. I turn around toward Harper’s kitchen.
“You don’t move!” Harper’s finger flies toward my nose, halting any further movement. “I’ll get him some water…to go with his vagina,” she calls over her shoulder, and I snicker.
“I’m nervous for Regan, that’s all,” he defends with an adorable full lip pout.
“Pussy.” Harper hands him a glass of water and skewers him a deathly stare. She turns to me. “If there’s any to spare, you might want to bring back a set for Cameron.”
“Spare?” I scrunch my face with confusion.
“Balls at your ball. Cameron’s turned into a big girl,” she remarks, smug pleasure at her taunt curling her lips. “It’s a real turn-off, by the way.”
“Tell me you’re not a little nervous.” He ignores the gibe with a flick of his middle finger. “Regan hasn’t been on a date-date since fuckface five years ago, and David actually seems like a good guy. This could be it.” His explanation makes my stomach tighten with knots and roll with nausea that wasn’t there two minutes ago.
“Thanks for that, Cam, but calm down; it’s a date. I’m not walking down the aisle.”
“I had no idea you were such a romantic, Cam.” Harper mock fans herself, but I notice the curious expression she has fixed on him. A blink and it’s gone, and I’m too distracted to give it any more thought.
“There is much you don’t know about me, Harper the Ice Queen.”
“I doubt that, lover boy.” She blows him a tight kiss and returns her focus in my direction. “Are you okay, Regan? Are you worried about David being a serial killer?”
“What? No!”
“Just checking. I mean we don’t know the guy. I know I’d feel better if we’d met him beforehand. Still you don’t look at all nervous, not like the princess here.” She jerks her head back to Cameron who has a dark, unamused scowl furrowing his brow. “What? If I’m the queen, you’re my princess, only fair.”
If I wasn’t a mess of uncertainty, I would be picking up the strange vibes firing left and right, but as it is, I choose to stick with the knitting. What does that even mean?
“Well, unlike Cameron, I have set the bar quite low for tonight. I’m just hoping I don’t trip up in this gorgeous dress, that I don’t spill anything down the front, oh, and that Joel stays away from me.”
“Two out of three ain’t bad, because, trust me, babe, looking like that, there is no way he’s staying away.” Harper arches a knowing brow.
“It’s not that bad, is it? I just wanted to wear something that didn’t smell of baby puke or have flame retardant in the fibres for a change.” My shoulders sink a little as I take in the unprecedented amount of cleavage and skin on show.
“It’s stunning. You’re stunning, and Joel is a lucky man.” Cameron eases up from the arm of the chair and walks over to me. He stands directly behind me, and firmly holding my shoulders, he straightens my frame and squeezes his own unique brand of confidence into me with his sweet touch.
“David, David is a lucky man,” I correct.
“Sure, that too.” He flashes a wink at Harper and nods at me with no conviction. The doorbell chimes, making me jump.
“Okay, he’s here. Wish me luck.” I take Harper’s coat from her and hug them both.
“Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.” Harper hands me her silk clutch bag that perfectly matches the dress and Jimmy Choos.
“We won’t wait up.” Cameron says just as I open the door to David.
“Good, because I’m not coming back here.”
“Ooooh, get you. You might be getting that slut badge after all,” Cameron says. I know he was using his indoor voice, but the damn door was open.
I cringe, and make a tight-lipped reply to his untimely innuendo. “I meant I’m going home. Jeeze, Cameron, you have a one-track mind.” I shake my head, my face flaming bright red, giving a little warmth to the chilly night air.
I make the introductions. “David, this is Cameron and Harper.”
“Best friends, and I’ve put a tracker on her phone.” Harper holds her hand out, only her joke didn’t sound at all jokey.
“Noted. It’s good to meet you. I’ll take good care of her, I promise.” David oozes charm and isn’t remotely fazed by Harper’s strange hostile parent act.
“She’s only teasing about the tracker. Isn’t that right, Harper?”
She nods. “Yeah, I’m teasing.” Her smile is easy; however, her eyes are directing a warning glower at my date.
“Riiiight, then, shall we?” I flash a pleading look, hoping for the ‘crazy’ to subside.
Cameron chuckles and slips his arms around Harper’s waist from behind. “And speaking of one-track minds… Ice, ice, baby.” Cameron hums.
“Keep on singing, pretty boy.” Harper retorts, gently patting Cameron’s face that is resting on her shoulder. I take David’s offered arm and walk away from the endearing madness of my best friends.
“Bye!” They call out as I lower myself arse first into the waiting limousine.
“They mean well.” I say with a light shrug as the car pulls smoothly away from the sidewalk. My fingers slip into the purse, and I have to stop myself from checking my phone. It’s not that I believe Harper has actually installed a tracker; that would be insane, and I’m pretty sure she was bluffing. This need is a raw pull inside of me to check on Ruby, which is just as crazy. I know she’s fine, happy, and safe. Still, whenever I do go out for an evening, the churning mix of emotions tears at me and makes it almost impossible to relax and enjoy myself. I’m all she has, and vice versa, and most of the time, it’s just not been worth it.
“Noted,” His lips quirk with warm understanding. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, it’s just…Ruby,” I say as way of an obvious explanation.
“You want to call her?” His eyes dip to where I’m now holding my phone.
“I do. I’m not going to, but that doesn’t stop me wanting to check just one more time.” I smile apologetically and then check myself. I’m not sorry. It is what it is, having kids.
“I understand.”
“Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood.”
“Twenty-four seven,” he offers with a kind smile.
“Yep.”
“You can call her. Please don’t think you can’t because you’re with me.”
“Oh, no, thank you. She’s probably having way too much fun, and all I’ll end up doing is reminding her I’m not there. I have to accept this would be for my benefit and let it go.”
“And if your hand didn’t just tighten around your phone I might believe you meant that.” He looks at my lap where my death grip loosens after his observation.
“I didn’t say it was an easy choice.” I push the phone back inside the purse and zip it closed.
“How about a glass of champagne? Not to take your mind off it. I’m sure that is nigh on to impossible, being a parent, but maybe to give your phone hand something else to hold.”
“That would be lovely, thank you.” I place my purse beside me and have to clasp my hands together to stop myself from picking the damn thing straight back up. When do I get the chance to play princess? Just enjoy the evening, Regan.
“If you want to leave at any time, please just tell me. It won’t be a problem. I want you to have a nice time, but more importantly, I want you to be happy. Whatever makes that happen, we will do, okay?”
“Thank you for understanding.” I take the crystal flute, and the cool crisp golden bubbles race to the surface.
“I’m sure I don’t have a clue, but I hope to one day.” He fills his glass and holds it, tilted for me to make contact with mine.
“Cheers, and if I forget to say it later, thank you for a magical night.”
“No, thank you.”