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Everything I Have by A. K. Evans (18)


 

 

Emme

“I cannot believe all of this happened nearly one week ago and I’m just now hearing about it!”

Nikki was practically shouting in my ear as I brought her up to speed on everything that had happened on Saturday night.

To say that this past weekend was significant would be an understatement.  I never, in a million years, would have dreamed that anyone would learn the truth about what happened to Taj and my role in the tragedy.  An unfortunate turn of events while we were out this weekend resulted in not just one or two people finding out the real reason Charley and I left Ventura, but a whole group of people instead.

I still cringe to think about how it all happened.  The only thing that brings me peace about the whole situation is thinking about Zane.  I was a mess Saturday night and he was so calm, offering me the comfort and tenderness I needed.  And ever since he learned about what happened to me and to Taj he has never once faltered in his concern for me.  In fact, Zane’s level of protectiveness has skyrocketed.  I was in no position Saturday night to push him away and when Sunday rolled around I realized that the peace he gave me was something I no longer wanted to push away.  For once, my mind was beginning to catch up to what my heart had been yearning for, but I still had reservations about putting Zane in a position of vulnerability, especially when he didn’t know all the details.

Zane spent the night with me on Sunday night.  I was relieved in the instant he told me he planned to stay with me.  I knew I couldn’t hold him hostage forever, but I wanted just one more night of being able to sleep wrapped in his arms, the only place I’ve felt safe in nearly five years.

Throughout the rest of the week Zane got back to riding and I got back to work, but none of that stopped him from checking in on me several times throughout the day.  He’d typically text me claiming he didn’t want to interrupt me if I was in the middle of a shoot, but occasionally he’d call.  I preferred his phone calls and I’d use any excuse to be able to hear his voice.

It was now Friday and I had finally found not only the time, but the courage to call Nikki and Monroe and give them all the gory details.  I had just gotten off the phone with Monroe and immediately called Nikki.  She was currently not very happy to learn that I had held off on sharing this information with her.

“I know Nik, I’m sorry.  It’s been a lot to deal with and I’m still processing it all.”

“So what’s been happening since Zane left Monday morning?  Has he spent any more nights with you?” she asked.

“You realize the significance of everything I just told you, right?  Why are you only concerned with what has happened with regards to Zane in this situation?”

“Emme, babe, he’s fucking hot.  And you, my friend, need to get laid.  Look, I realize that’s probably the most inappropriate thing I could say to you after everything you’ve been through, but let’s face it, you can’t go the rest of your life never having sex again!  I’m just saying, if there is someone who can give you the goods I think he’s a really good choice.”

“He is,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry…what did you just say?” she asked, her tone accusatory.

Shit.  I didn’t think she’d catch that.

“I may have had a bit of a good time with him one night a few days after Christmas.”

“WHAT?!?!”

“Relax, Nikki.  I didn’t sleep with him, but he gave me a little bit of a preview of what I could expect which, not to brag, is a lot.”

Nikki let out a squeal and at that moment my phone alerted me to another call.  I looked at the screen and saw it was Zane calling.

“Hey, not to interrupt your celebration over there, but Zane’s calling me now.  Let me talk to him and I’ll call you back.”

“Call me immediately because this conversation is not over!” she answered.

I disconnected the call with her and answered for Zane.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi, Emme. What are you up to?” he asked.

“I was actually just on the phone with Nikki.  I finally filled her and Monroe in on this past weekend.”

“How’d that go?” he asked. 

“Monroe is her typical supportive self.  She’s like a second mom to all of us, making sure we’re always doing alright.  Nikki is another story entirely.  All she cares about is if you’ve spent any more nights with me since Sunday night.”

He chuckled.  “Well, is she angry or happy about the fact that I haven’t spent any more nights with you?” 

“I didn’t get a chance to answer her on that yet, but she’d be disappointed to learn that you haven’t.”

“Thinking it wouldn’t be wise to upset her.  Maybe I should spend the night with you tonight.”

“What?” I asked.

“You said earlier this week that you don’t have any shoots this weekend.  Was thinking I’d like to take you out tonight on an official date.”

I stayed silent.

“Emme?”

“I’m here.  Sorry, I’m just not sure what to say.”

“Say yes.  Say you’ll go on a date with me.  I’m not going anywhere, Em.  You turn me down tonight, I’m going to ask you every day until you say yes.”

I took in a deep breath and said, “Ok.”

“Ok?” he asked.

“Yes.  Ok.  I’ll go on a date with you tonight.”

“I’ll pick you up at six,” he said quickly.

I pulled my phone from my ear and saw that it was nearly five o’clock.  “That’s only an hour away,” I announced.

“And?”

“Zane.  There’s no way I can get ready in an hour.”

“Why not?”

“You aren’t seriously asking this question.”

“Sweetheart, you could wear sweats and be the sexiest fucking woman in the room.”

Damn.

“An hour and a half?  Please?  It’s our first official date, Zane.  If we’re going to do this I want to do it right and I want it to be special.”

He let out a sigh.  “I’m so fucked.”

“What?”

“Said it before, Em.  Don’t think I could ever say no to you.  You’ve got an hour and a half.”

“Wait!” I cried out, not wanting him to hang up.

“Yeah?”

“What should I wear?” I asked.

He stayed silent a moment before he answered, “Already told you that you’d be sexy as fuck in sweats, Em.  You want special, though, so I’m giving it to you.  Wear a dress, Emme.”

“Ok, Zane.  I’ll see you at six thirty.”

“Bye, Em.”

After hanging up with Zane, I immediately called Nikki back.

“Ok, so I need details on this day of fun after Christmas,” she said as her greeting.

“I can’t give them to you right now.”

“Why not? What’s wrong?”

“Zane is picking me up in an hour and a half for our first official date.”

“Oh, fuck.  Ok.  Get your laptop and get on Skype.  I’ll call you on there and get Monroe on, too.  Is Charley around?” she asked.

“Working.  Laptop is open and I’m signed on.”

Two seconds later, Nikki called me on Skype and then called Monroe.  We gave her a briefing and she responded, “Oh, this is the greatest news ever!”

“Ladies, you’ve got to celebrate later.  I don’t have much time and I still need to shower.”

Monroe then asked, “So where are you guys going?”

“Not sure. He didn’t say.”

Nikki then said, “Ok, so we’ve got to dress you appropriately for a first date and we don’t want you to be underdressed or overdressed.  Though, better to be slightly overdressed than the opposite.”

“Well I did ask him what I should wear.  He said that I could, and I quote, wear sweats and be the sexiest fucking woman in the room.  Ultimately, he told me that since he knew I wanted this to be special he’d give me special, so I should wear a dress.”

“Fuck, I love this guy,” Nikki beamed.

“Me, too.”

“I love you both, but if you don't focus now and help me I’m never going to be ready on time!”

“Ok, babe, sorry.  Take us in the closet.”

I picked up my laptop and walked toward the closet.

“I’m thinking little black dress,” Monroe began.  “But let’s not get too sexy with it.  Maybe a sweater dress.”

“Agreed,” Nikki said.  “And you can wear your over the knee black boots with it since it’s frigid there.”

“I’ve got these three black sweater dresses,” I said, holding each of them up.

In unison they both exclaimed, “The first one.”

It was a crew neckline black sweater dress.  The back and front of the dress were ruched while the sides of the dress were smooth.  It fit snug to my body, was incredibly warm, and accentuated my curves.  Zane had previously expressed his appreciation for my curves, so I agreed with my girls and decided on dress number one.

“Ok.  Dress and shoes figured out.  Hair?”

“Down.  With lots of volume and waves.  It’ll be a super sexy look for you,” Nikki said.

“Diffuser volume?” I asked.

She nodded.

“I need to get in the shower now if that is going to happen,” I insisted.

“Ok, Emme.  Go get ready and then send us pics,” Monroe said.

“You’ve got it. Thanks girls.  Love you.”

“Love you too, Em,” they answered.

I disconnected from Skype, closed the laptop, and set it on the big, comfy chair in the corner of my room.  I turned the water on in the shower, stripped out of my clothes, and hopped in.  As quickly as possible I did my business in the shower.  After I finished, I threw on a night shirt and got to work on my hair, knowing it would be a pretty big task.  I got it to the point it was mostly dry, but still slightly damp.  I took the ends, twisted them into circles and pinned them all along my neckline and the frame of my face.  I then took the diffuser attachment and put it on the hair dryer.  Circling my entire head, I held the diffuser up to each section of hair so that I could set the look.

I kept the pins in my hair while I moved on to my makeup.  Right in the middle of that process my phone rang.  It was Charley.

I answered and Charley told me that she and Wes were in the middle of celebrating.  Apparently, it had been a really great week at Blackman Boards and they weren’t quite ready to stop the festivities.  She was merely calling to check in with me and let me know that she was thinking of spending the night at Wes’ place.  When she found out that I wasn’t working tonight she quickly said that they’d be more than happy to come back to the condo instead.  I told her not to worry and to go enjoy her night out.  I finished my statement by telling her that Zane was taking me out on our first official date.  She completely freaked out and screamed her excitement into my ear.  This news made her even more ready to come back to the condo so that she could help me get ready.  I told her that Nikki and Monroe had already taken care of it and for her to go have fun with her man.  She wished me the best for my date and asked me to send pictures to her as well.

I finished applying my makeup and began taking the pins out of my hair.  As the individual sections fell in long, loose waves over my shoulders and down my back I realized I had successfully gotten the look that would make Nikki proud.  I walked back out into my bedroom and noted that it was ten minutes to six thirty.  I tore off the night shirt, grabbed a matching bra and panty set, and got myself dressed.  After I zipped up my boots, I stood in front of my full-length mirror and took in my reflection.  I had to be honest and admit that I looked good. Grabbing my phone from the bed I snapped a quick picture and sent it off to the girls.  Monroe immediately replied. 

You are one smokin’ hot lady! Have a fabulous time tonight!! xoxo

Not even a minute later, I received Nikki’s text.

You sexy bitch! Zane’s going to be uncomfortable in his pants the second you open the door.  No pressure tonight, but if that man does not get you in bed looking like that I may have to change my mind on him.

Sometimes, I really wondered if Nikki had a filter.  The girl made me laugh and always livened things up; I loved her even more because of it.  I quickly tapped out replies to both of them and told them I’d call tomorrow with updates.  A few minutes later, my phone alerted me to another text as there was a knock at the door.  I looked down to see Charley had replied.

Honey, you look so beautiful.  Can’t wait to hear all about your date.  Love you!!

I smiled down at the screen and moved to the front door.  I looked out the peephole and saw Zane on the other side.  I instantly felt the warmth course through my body at the sight of him.  I opened the door and Zane’s eyes quickly grew heated.  They traveled the length of my body and back up.

“Fuck me, this is going to be painful.”

I drew my brows together at his statement, but said nothing.  He stepped in and closed the door behind him.

“Emme, hope to God you are ready to go.  You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on and I want nothing more than to pull your body next to mine right now and kiss you senseless.  If I do that, we aren’t going anywhere.  We cannot stay here any longer if I’m going to take you out on a proper date tonight.”

There was a small part of me that wanted to say that I wasn’t quite ready yet just so he’d do exactly what he said he would.  Instead, I slowly nodded at him and said, “I’ll grab my jacket and purse.”

I locked up and we walked to Zane’s truck.  After opening my door and helping me in, Zane rounded the truck, got in, and started it up.  He turned to look at me and shared, “You should know, didn’t like giving you that extra half hour, but sweetheart, the result is worth every additional minute I had to wait to see you.”

I smiled at him and said, “Thank you, Zane.”

With that, Zane pulled out of the lot and drove to the restaurant.  He took us to a local steakhouse that I had heard rave reviews of but had never been to before.  After opening my door and helping me out of the truck, Zane put his hand at the small of my back, and guided me toward the restaurant.  Though we arrived and found the place packed, we were immediately seated as Zane had made reservations after I agreed to the date.

Roughly an hour and a half later we had finished our dinner and the single dessert we ordered to share.  It was a magnificent first date.  The food was incredible and certainly lived up to its reputation.  The conversation was easy and lighthearted.  There weren’t any awkward moments and we really took the time to get to know each other better.  I told Zane a bit more about my work and my parents while he shared stories of his childhood and his snowboarding career.  The best part of all, though, was simply Zane.  Of course, talking to him was always its own reward, but I found the more time I spent simply being in his presence the more I craved it.  I knew that he’d always do whatever he could to protect me and the feeling that gave me, more than anything else, was something I couldn’t quantify.  It was on that thought that I made a final decision.  I wanted to be with Zane tonight, in all the ways that mattered.  I wanted to give myself to him and having the ability to make that choice made me feel extraordinarily powerful.  Before I lost my courage, I looked Zane in the eyes and without any hesitation I said, “Dinner was lovely, Zane.  Dessert too, but I’d really like for you to take me home now.”

I held his eyes a beat and realization dawned in his.  He knew exactly what I wanted and he wasted no time in making moves to give it to me.  After throwing entirely too much money down on the table, Zane quickly ushered me out of the booth, to the door, and out to the truck.  He drove quickly back to the condo, his right hand gripping my thigh while he drove.  We made it back in record time and Zane all but carried me to the door.  I pulled out my keys, unlocked the door, and let us inside.  He closed the door after we stepped inside and then locked it.  I reached my hand out to his and pulled him down the hall to my bedroom.  Once inside my bedroom, he closed the door and stood there staring at me.

I broke the silence and asked, “Will you kiss me?”

He didn’t answer me, at least not with words.  He simply took one step toward me, snaked his arm around my waist, and pulled me into his body.  His lips were on mine not even seconds later.  The kiss started slightly frenzied, but eventually turned slow.  I moaned into his mouth.  The arm he had wrapped around my waist squeezed me a bit tighter to bring my body closer to his body.  I was suddenly feeling very hot so I moved my hands to my jacket and began pulling it off.  Zane tore his mouth from mine and removed his jacket as well.  After tossing it to the chair in the corner of the room, Zane let his heated gaze roam my body.  His intense blue eyes came back to mine and he said, “Worth every fucking extra minute.”

“I appreciate your words, Zane.  I only hope you’ll feel the same about what’s to come.”

“Emme,” his sexy, deep voice was even more gravelly.

“I want you tonight, Zane,” I began as I started to look away.  “If you’ll have me.”

His fingertips came to rest at my jaw and he gently turned my head back to his.  When my eyes met his he said, “There’s nothing I want more in this world than you, Emme.  And right now, with you looking the way you do with all this hair, the fucking boots, and this incredible dress that shows every sweet curve of your body?  Yeah, Em, I’ll have you tonight.”

I swallowed hard under his intense gaze, but stayed silent.

“You sure about this?” he asked.

I bent down and unzipped my boots, removing each one carefully before I stood up and said, “Never been more sure about anything else in my life.  Will you take this dress off me?”

Zane put his hands on my thighs with his fingertips at the hem of my dress.  He began slowly sliding the dress up my thighs, over my hips and ass, and up over my breasts.  I lifted my arms as Zane continued pulling the dress up and off my body.  He tossed it to the side and stepped back to let his eyes roam my body.

“Don’t cover it, Em.”

“What?” I asked.

He reached a hand out and pulled my arm away from the side of my body.  I had instinctively pulled it against my body to cover my scar.

“You are feeling awkward about the scar.  Stop.  You are beautiful, Emme.”

I nodded at him and gave him some time to take in my nearly naked figure before I took a step toward him and closed the distance between us.  I put my hands to the hem of his baby blue henley and asked, “May I?”

He smirked at me and said, “Absolutely.”

I lifted his shirt as high as I could before he reached an arm behind his neck and pulled the shirt the rest of the way off.  I put my hands to his shoulders and trailed my fingertips down over his pecs and the hard muscle of his abdomen.  I reached the waistband of his jeans, rested my fingers at the center on either side of the button, and looked up at him through hooded, questioning eyes.  He nodded at me.  I opened the button and unzipped the fly.  It didn’t take much effort, but I gently pushed the jeans down and they fell to the floor.  Zane kicked off his boots, socks, and jeans.  It was my turn to take a step back and appreciate his beauty.

“You are perfect,” I said, my voice a breathy whisper.  I let my eyes wander over the smooth planes of his body.  When I could no longer take the distance separating us I stepped back into him and pressed kisses to his chest.  One of my hands traveled down his body to his boxer briefs.  I cupped my hand over his hardened length and gently squeezed.  He groaned; I pushed up on my toes and captured his mouth with mine.  As we kissed, my hand continued to stroke over the length of him while Zane’s hands cupped either side of my face.  After several minutes one of his hands moved to the clasp of my bra.  He unhooked it with ease and brought his hands to the straps at my shoulders.  He pulled his mouth from mine and gently guided the straps down my arms.  My bra fell to the floor and Zane’s hands immediately came up to my breasts.  The second his hands were on me I moaned.  My moaning only encouraged Zane further and he bent his head down to take one into his mouth.  My knees buckled at the sensation and Zane caught my weight.  He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.  His lips came to mine and he began walking toward my bed.  After carefully putting me down on my back he settled over me with his hips in between my legs and the weight of his upper body mostly in his arms.  He began trailing kisses from my lips down my throat to my breasts.  My senses were firing, I was moaning, and I needed more.

“Zane…please,” I begged.

“Tell me what you want, Em.  Tell me and it’s yours.”

“You.  I want to feel you,” I began.  “Please, I don’t want to wait any longer.”

At that, Zane pushed up off of me and got off the bed.  He turned and began walking away.

I immediately sat up and covered myself with my hands.  “Zane?”

“Yeah?” he said as he turned back to face me.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“Not at all.  Want to give you what you want, what we both want, but I need to get a condom first,” he answered.

“Oh,” I said, looking away.

“Tell me, Emme,” he pled as he walked back and pressed his fingers to my chin so I’d have to look at him.  He knew I had something more I wanted to say.

I swallowed hard before I admitted, “I want to feel you, Zane.  I’m on birth control and I was tested after everything happened.  He was the only person I was ever with, but I didn’t know if he was faithful.  I was clean and I haven’t been with anybody since.”

He stared at me for what felt like minutes, but was probably only seconds.

“I mean, I understand if you would prefer not to.  It’s ok.  I just thought that it would be nice to…” I said before he shut me up by crushing his lips to mine.

My head fell back to the pillow and Zane resumed his earlier descent down my body.  He stopped at my breasts for a while before he began kissing down my stomach.  His hands came to the strips of fabric covering my hips while his head lifted and his eyes came to mine.  He pulled my thong down my legs and tossed it to the floor.  I felt one of his hands at my thigh while the other went directly to my core.  I moaned at the feel of his hands on me. 

“Fuck, sweetheart.  I don’t know which is sexier…the way you look or the sounds you make.”

I stared up at him as his hand worked the sensitive spot between my legs.

“Zane,” I managed to get out.  “Please.  This is amazing, but I want you.  Please let me feel you.”

Sometime during all of this Zane managed to remove his boxer briefs because I immediately felt the tip of him at my entrance as his body came over mine and his face was inches away from mine.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Absolutely.”

I barely got the word out of my mouth when I felt him slowly pushing into me.  He hadn’t gotten all the way in when he stopped and gave my body a second to adjust to his size.

Oh. My. God.

I wanted more.  I needed more.

“More, baby.  Please,” I said.

Zane pushed the rest of the way in.  He didn’t move.  He rested his forehead against mine.

“Oh my…fuck.  Emme, sweetheart, don’t fucking move.  I just need a minute.”

I stayed as still as I could with my hands fisted in his hair.  Soon enough, Zane lifted his head and looked me in the eyes.  Then, he pulled out of my body slowly.  He was almost completely out when he pushed right back in.  He felt so good, I thought I might cry.  Zane found his rhythm.  His initial thrusts were slow and controlled, but soon gave way to quick, strong thrusts.  I couldn’t handle the barrage of pleasure.  It was too intense and I was on the brink of an orgasm.

“Oh, fuck,” I began, my voice raspy.  “Please don’t stop.”

“Take it, Em.”

And then I took it while I yelled out his name.  Somewhere in the middle of my orgasm, Zane took it, too.

He collapsed on top of me briefly before he rolled to his back and took me with him.

“I may never walk again,” I whispered with my cheek pressed to his chest. “My limbs feel like jelly now.”

Zane chuckled and squeezed his arms around me a little tighter.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m feeling a little humbled right now.”

My head shot up off his chest and I looked at him.  “Why?” I asked.

“Knew being with you would be incredible, but wasn’t expecting it would be everything that it was.  Didn’t think I’d need to give myself a minute to regain control the second I was inside you, but I haven’t been with anyone since before Christmas.  Other than the night following the day we went to Yellowstone, the only action I’ve been seeing has been with my hand.  The fact that there was nothing between us just now probably didn’t help.”

He paused a moment and I held his eyes, trying to absorb what he had just told me.  He hadn’t been with anyone since before Christmas.

“You should know, sweetheart, I’ve never not worn protection before and I’ve been tested.  I’m clean.  You have nothing to worry about.”

I smiled at him and shook my head.

“I wasn’t worried,” I admitted.

“You weren’t?  I didn’t share any of that with you beforehand and you probably should have been told before we went any further.”

“If you had any doubts about your status, I know you would have done the right thing.  I believe wholeheartedly that you wouldn’t ever do anything to intentionally hurt me.  I can’t explain why because I’m not sure I even know what the reason is but, Zane, I trust you completely.”

“Fuck, Emme.”

My brows drew together and I gave him a questioning look.

“Feels good,” he said.

“What does?” I asked.

“To know I’m getting in there,” he said as he pressed a finger to the skin over my heart.

My eyes softened and I tilted my head, “You were always in there, Zane.  It was my head that kept me from doing what my heart wanted.”

“Sweetheart,” he said, his voice guttural.

I put my head back down and pressed my cheek to his chest as we fell into a comfortable silence.  A few minutes later I looked back up at him.

“Zane?”

“Yeah, Em?”

“Can we do that again?” I asked.

Zane chuckled and said, “Planned on it, Emme.  Was just giving you some time, but if you’re ready I’ll give it to you now.”

“Yeah, I’m ready now.”

“What my girl wants, my girl gets.”

And with that, Zane gave it to me again.