Zane
“Motherfucker!”
I pushed my chair back from the table and stood. I needed a place to put the rage I was feeling in that moment.
“Dude, chill out,” Stone said with his hand on my shoulder.
“Chill out? Did you just fucking hear the same thing I did? Emme was beaten by some asshole to the point she was hospitalized and nearly died. Not sure how the fuck I’m supposed to calm down right now.”
“Just as fucking pissed about that shit as you are, but you need to calm down because the last thing that girl needs right now is someone with a short fuse around her. Chill the fuck out and go find her or I will,” Luke demanded.
Nobody else was going to take care of her; that was my job. I took off to find her. By the time I got outside I saw Emme making her way down the stairs of the balcony to the parking lot. No fucking way was she driving in her current mental state. I ran down the steps after her and as I got closer I heard her giving her location to someone on the phone. She wasn’t fucking taking a cab either.
“Emme,” I called out.
She jerked her head in my direction and there was fear all over her face. She said something quietly into the phone and pulled it away from her ear.
I stayed put about five feet away from her. I wasn’t going to make her uncomfortable. This needed to be done on her terms. She stood there staring at me and said, “Now you know the truth, Zane. I’m damaged goods.”
Like hell she was.
“Sweetheart, you’re so fucking far from damaged goods.”
She looked away from me. Instinct pushed me and I started to walk toward her. Her head snapped back up and I could tell she was scared. I stopped immediately.
“Emme…fuck, sweetheart, you don’t have to be fearful of me. I would never hurt you,” I said, hating the fact that I even had to say it to her. She should never have to fear for her safety.
She nodded slowly at me.
I held out my hand to her and said, “Come to me, Em.”
She looked down at my hand and back up at my eyes. I nodded to her. And then she was in my arms, shaking uncontrollably, crying her eyes out.
I brought my head down to hers and with my mouth at her ear I asked, “Can I take you home?”
She nodded, but her crying and shaking didn’t cease. I shrugged off my jacket and put it around her before I picked her up and carried her to my truck. Thank fuck I drove myself tonight. I put her in the truck, put the seatbelt on her, and walked around to the other side. I started up the truck, put it in drive, and pulled out of the lot. She was hysterically crying and all I could think about was the fact that I wanted ten minutes in a room with the asshole who did this to her. I reached over and wrapped my hand around hers. I’m not sure she realized it, but she squeezed my hand so tightly for the remainder of the ride back to her place as she cried her eyes out. I wanted to stop and pull over just so I could hold her and make this better, but I knew she needed to be in her home. We made it back to her condo and as soon as I parked my phone rang. I pulled it out and saw Wes was calling. I hopped out of the truck and rounded it toward Emme’s side.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“You with her?” he asked.
“Yeah. Just pulled into the parking lot at her condo.”
“Was going to take Charley to my place, but she’s worried about Emme.”
“She’s not doing well, but I’ve got her. Take Charley to your place and let me help Emme right now.”
“Right. Keep me posted.”
“Will do.”
“Ok, man. Later.”
I disconnected the call and opened Emme’s door. After unbuckling her seatbelt, I helped her out of the truck. She took a few steps, but was struggling so I bent down, picked her up, and carried her to the door. She wrapped her arms around my neck and nuzzled her face into my chest, just like she did our last night in Aspen. When we got to the door, I set her down only long enough to get her key out and open the door. Then I carried her into her bedroom and set her down on the bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped my hand around one of her ankles while the other hand slipped the shoe off her foot. I then removed the second one. I walked into her bathroom, turned on the tap, and located a washcloth. After the water had warmed up enough I wet the cloth, rang it out, and made my way back to Emme. I wiped the makeup from her face as the tears continued to well up in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. After I’d cleaned her face of the makeup I said, “Let’s get you comfortable. You want any special clothes?”
She shook her head and said, “You are so good to me and I don’t deserve it.”
“You deserve the fucking world, Emme.”
She shook her head and looked down at her hands in her lap.
I walked over to her dresser, found a t-shirt, and came back to the bed. Her eyes found mine again and I could tell she was nervous about something.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She looked away while she murmured, “I need panties, too.”
Fuck me.
I put my hand to her jaw, turned her face to mine, and said, “Then I’ll get you a pair. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed of anything in front of me, Emme. Ever.”
I turned back to the dresser and found the drawer that had all the good stuff. Stay fucking focused, Cunningham. I managed to pull out just one pair and walked back to her. I sat back down on the edge of the bed and moved to pull my jacket from her shoulders. She freed her arms and sat there nervously looking at me. I held my hand out to her and after a bit of hesitation she put her hand in mine. I helped her up off the bed so she was standing in front of me facing me. I gave her a warm smile before I put my hands to her hips and turned her around. After unzipping her dress, I put my hands back to her hips and helped guide her back around so she was facing me. When I put my hands to her shoulders to pull the straps down she went solid.
“Relax, sweetheart. I’ve already seen it all before and it’s beautiful, but that’s not what this is about right now.”
Her breathing quickened and I knew something wasn’t right.
“You’ve got to talk to me, Em. What’s happening right now?”
“You haven’t seen it all yet, Zane.”
What? Of course I had. It was the best fucking night of my life.
I took in a deep breath. “Ok, so show me now then,” I encouraged as gently as possible.
As the tears continued to stream down her cheeks she nodded.
I gently pulled the straps down her arms. As I reached her elbows the dress fell to the floor and pooled at her feet. And that’s when I saw what I hadn’t seen before. A scar.
Motherfucker.
To distract myself from the anger I was feeling and so she didn’t feel so exposed, I grabbed her panties off the bed and pulled them up her legs. Then I moved my hand from her hip up her side to rest my fingertips on the scar. I swiped my thumb back and forth over it and leaned forward to press a kiss to it.
That’s when she lost it again. Her knees buckled and she was in a fit of tears again.
Christ, how do I make this better for her?
I pulled her into my lap and she immediately curled her body up into a protective ball. I looked to the foot of the bed and saw she had a blanket folded up at the end. I snatched it up and wrapped it around her, trying to do anything I could to make her feel safe and protected. As she cried I whispered in her ear, doing whatever I thought might work to calm her down.
“That scar doesn’t change who you are,” I began. “You are still the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. I realize it’s a reminder of a horrible time in your life, but look at where you are now. You’re here and you’re safe. And, sweetheart, I will do whatever is necessary to make sure you don’t go a single day of your life from this point forward not feeling safe, protected, and loved.”
She froze in my arms.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling slightly panicked.
She shook her head and just curled her body deeper into mine. I kicked off my boots, pulled back the blankets on her bed, stood while I was still holding her, and shifted my body back into the bed so I could lie down next to her and hold her close. It took a good long while before she finally settled down. She was still wound tight; I could feel the tension coursing through her body.
“I need you to do one thing for me, Em,” I said.
She pulled her head away from my chest and looked up at me. Without a shred of doubt in her voice she said, “Anything, Zane.”
I closed my eyes, amazed at the strength in this woman. She didn’t even know what I wanted and immediately agreed to it.
“Give me your burden, sweetheart. I know now only just a shred of what has happened to you; I want you to give me the rest. I don’t need all of it tonight, but please give me some of it. Tell me what happened so I can fight this battle with you.”
She stayed silent a while. Finally, she spoke.
“It was my birthday. Actually, it was a week before my birthday. The girls wanted to take me out to celebrate, but he would never allow it. He went away for business and I made plans to go out with the girls that Friday. He told me he had a meeting first thing the following Monday morning, and would return Monday night. I figured this was my opportunity to spend time with Charley, Nikki, and Monroe.”
She paused a moment before continuing, “When they brought me back home I found him waiting for me in the bedroom. He never had a meeting scheduled for Monday. He told me that just to set me up. He was so angry. He insisted that I was out looking for someone else. I apologized profusely and tried to explain that I’d just gone out with the girls for my birthday, but he didn’t care. According to him, I was out dressed like a whore so I could find someone else and leave him. It didn’t matter how much I said I was sorry or even if I would have promised to never do it again, the punishment was still the same.”
She took another break and I waited patiently for her. I knew this couldn’t be easy for her. I was also taking that time to brace myself because I knew I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.
“I’m surprised at the fact that I remember every single detail of the beating he gave me that night. He first punched me in the jaw and I heard it crack. I’ll never forget that sound…or the pain. When my body flew back, I pulled my hands to my face to try to prevent any further damage so he punched me in the stomach. Of course, that made me drop my hands away from my face. It was a bad decision because then he hit me in my right eye. When I tried to protect my face again I wasn’t quick enough and he split my lip open. Then, he grabbed my hair and threw me to the ground. And then…actually, this is where it gets bad, Zane. Are you sure you want me to continue?”
This is where it gets bad? What the fuck did she think everything she just told me was — a walk in the fucking park? Jesus Christ.
“You had to endure it physically; I’m going to hear it all,” I answered, trying to keep the tone of my voice neutral.
“He began kicking me in the stomach repeatedly. I curled up into a ball trying to protect myself. He moved behind my back and started kicking my ribs. I’d never felt such pain before ever in my life. I remember I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t have a concept of time, but at some point, he just stopped. He walked away and went into the bathroom to shower. I should have run, but I could barely crawl the few feet to my purse so I could get my phone. Charley’s brother, Taj, lived two minutes away from where I lived. I called him thinking he could come get me and take me to the hospital before Seth got out of the shower. Taj got there and carried me to the car. He told me to call the police. Then he turned to walk back into the house. I begged him not to go, telling him it wasn’t worth it, but he wouldn’t listen. He said there was no way that he was going to let Seth get away with what he had done to me. After I called the police I sat there waiting for Taj to come out and that…that’s when I heard the gunshots. Taj never walked back out so I got out of the car and walked back into the house. I saw Taj lying in a pool of blood on the floor. He was still alive and I yelled at him to stay with me, but as I laid there next to him I felt the life leave his body. All I could think was that I was responsible for Taj’s death and that Charley would never forgive me.”
I pulled Emme tighter to my body hoping she’d get whatever comfort she needed from that. Then I said, “Tell me about the scar.”
“The police arrived and that’s when I went into shock. I don’t remember anything after that. The next thing I do remember is waking up in a hospital bed. I spent weeks there recuperating from two black eyes, a busted lip, a jaw that needed to be reset, several broken ribs, and a punctured lung. Of course, I had bruises covering most of my body, but the worst of the injuries was to my kidneys. Both kidneys suffered severe trauma and required surgery, but the doctors couldn’t save one of them and it had to be removed. In exchange for my kidney I got that lovely scar.”
My girl. To think that her beautiful body endured such physical abuse was gut-wrenching. I looked down at her and kissed the top of her head.
“You endured all of that, Emme, and you’re still here. No doubt you are the strongest woman I’ve ever met, but sweetheart, you don’t deal with this on your own anymore. You feel scared, you come to me. You feel unsafe, you come to me. You need to cry, you come to me. You just need to be held, you come to me. If I know you need me, I will get to you. Always. If I can’t get to you in five minutes or less, you call Luke, Stone, Wes, Levi, or Cruz. You tell them where you are and they will be there no questions asked and they will stay with you until I get there. But, Emme, you need to understand you don’t do this alone anymore. Five minutes or less, Em. You got me?”
She stayed quiet a while, but eventually murmured, “I’m so sorry, Zane. The way I treated you in Aspen was unacceptable.”
“Don’t worry about Aspen. We’re well beyond that now. Please tell me you got me, Emme. Five minutes or less, yeah?”
Her voice was just a hair over a whisper when she repeated, “Five minutes or less, Zane.”
I held her in silence a while before I called, “Em?”
She pulled her head back from my chest and looked up at me.
“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me before?”
She closed her eyes a moment and let out a sigh. When she looked back up at me, she answered, “Lots of reasons, I guess. Mostly, though, everything with you has always been beautiful. I didn’t want to ruin that with this. Of course, I destroyed what we had a couple weeks ago so I guess it doesn’t really much matter.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, Em. I understand it might not be easy for you, but you can trust me when I say that.”
“I’ve always trusted you, Zane.”
Fuck, that felt good.
I squeezed her a little tighter and she snuggled in a bit closer to me. Ten minutes later, I felt the tension completely leave her body and her breathing evened out. She was finally asleep. When I glanced to the clock I could see it was nearly six in the morning. I held Emme for a long while, but I couldn’t sleep. I stayed there holding her to give her the comfort she needed and I had to admit, it was the only thing stopping me from losing my shit.
I got up to use the bathroom about two hours later and as I made my way back to the bed I heard a chime come from my phone. I fished the phone out of the pocket of my pants and saw Wes had texted.
Checking in. Wanted to see how she’s doing.
I took the phone and walked out of Emme’s bedroom. As I walked down the hall toward the kitchen I called Wes.
“Zane, how is she?” he asked when he picked up after one ring.
“Fuck, Wes. It was not pretty. She’s sleeping now, but she only fell asleep about two hours ago.”
“Charley’s going to want to see her today. Think she’ll be up for it?”
“I can’t see why not. I’ll talk to her when she wakes. If I don’t think it’s a good idea I’ll let you know, but you two should plan on coming. I think she needs people who care about her around today.”
“Ok. I’ll take Charley to my parents’ house this morning and we’ll come over around lunchtime.”
“That works. Thanks, Wes.”
“No problem.”
I disconnected the call and went back to Emme. I tried to catch some sleep, but I was still so angry over what I learned last night. And it bugged the shit out of me that I didn’t know all of it yet. I remembered when she announced to everyone at Lou’s what had happened to her over the course of God knows how many years she said that him beating the shit out of her wasn’t even the worst of it. I hated to think of what else that bastard could have done to her.
A couple hours later, Emme started stirring. I dozed off a handful of times, but mostly kept waking up thinking about her whole situation. I was on my side with my elbow on the pillow, my head resting in my hand, watching her as she woke. She had been curled into my body, but she moved away and rolled to her back. Her legs straightened as she stretched them out while simultaneously arching her back and stretching out her front side. As she did this, the blanket began sliding down her chest. After she collapsed into my arms last night in just her panties we never got around to putting a shirt on her. Seeing her like this now was pure torture.
I watched as her eyes fluttered open, a look of contentment over her face. That look didn’t last long as I witnessed her mentally recalling the events of last night. Suddenly, her eyes shot to the side and she realized I was still there with her.
“It really happened, didn’t it?” she asked.
I nodded to her.
Her eyes closed as a look of defeat filtered into her features. When she opened them she stared up at the ceiling, saying nothing. I left her to it for a while before I decided to break the silence.
“I can see your mind working,” I began. “You want to talk about it?”
She looked to me and said, “Charley.”
“Ok. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking last night was such a disaster and after dropping a bomb on everyone there I walked out on my best friend.”
“Emme, I’m sure she knows you were a bit out of sorts last night. Your reaction was completely understandable.”
“I’m such a hypocrite, Zane. I gave her shit for not telling me about Wes asking her to move in with him and she knows nothing about most of the time you and I have spent together.”
“So give her an apology if it’s bothering you and I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive me.”
“Sweetheart, she’ll forgive you. Charley loves you. This isn’t going to change that in the slightest.”
Emme took in my words and nodded, “I hope you’re right.”
“I am.”
“I’m so mortified,” she confessed.
“About what?”
“My behavior at Lou’s last night. Everyone must think I’m a lunatic.”
I rolled over in the bed and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. “Come here, Em,” I said as I pulled up my text messages.
“What?” she asked.
“I want to show you something.”
She scooted her body over toward mine and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I pulled up the first text from Stone and showed it to her.
Hey, man. Just wanted to check in on Em. Hope she’s alright.
Then, I went to the next text from Luke.
How’s Emme? Still fucking pissed she went through that shit. Let her know I’m thinking about her.
Last, I showed her the text I received from Wes this morning.
“Nobody thinks you are a lunatic, sweetheart. They are angry about what happened to you and they care about you. I wasn’t kidding last night when I said that if I can’t get to you in five minutes or less and one of them can, they will. And they’ll do it, Em, because not only are they good fucking people, but also because they give a shit about you.”
She got quiet again for quite a while. It was tough, but I tried to give her the time she needed to process whatever was going through her mind. After some time had passed she sat up in the bed, pulled the blanket up to cover herself, and quietly shared, “I’m going to go take a shower.”
“Ok. Is there anything I can do for you while you’re doing that?”
She looked in my eyes with so much compassion and said, “You’ve already done too much, Zane. Thank you for taking care of me last night and for staying with me.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Emme, but you’re welcome.”
She gave me a small smile as she picked up the blanket I used to cover her last night, wrapped it around her body as she got up, and made her way to the bathroom. I heard the water turn on for the shower and after sitting there for a few minutes letting the image of Emme waking up this morning filter through my brain I got up and walked out to the kitchen.
It was about ten minutes later when Charley and Wes walked in. Charley wasted no time in questioning me on Emme’s whereabouts. I told her she was in the shower and let them both know that she had been rather quiet that morning. I also, once again, extended my condolences to Charley on her brother. With that, she made her way down the hall to check on Emme.
“You look like shit,” Wes said as soon as Charley left the kitchen.
“Thanks,” I began, shaking my head at him.
“It was that bad, wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Wes, I want ten fucking minutes in a room with that asshole. She only told me about the night Taj was killed and with what she told me he did to her that night…I don’t know how I kept my shit together. He beat her so bad she was in the hospital for weeks recovering from broken ribs, a punctured lung, two black eyes, a jaw that needed to be reset, and a busted lip. To top it off, she only has one kidney, Wes. One. Both suffered severe trauma, but one had to be removed because the damage to it was beyond repair.”
Wes’ jaw clenched at the news that I gave him. After thinking on it a minute he demanded, “You ever get that opportunity to get him in a room, I’m second in line with that piece of shit. What the fuck, man? How is she still standing?”
“I have no fucking clue. She’s a hell of a fighter, that’s for sure.”
Wes nodded at me then asked, “You guys eat anything?”
I shook my head and said, “No. I was thinking of ordering pizza. If I don’t she’ll put herself through the trouble of cooking. I know she enjoys it, but the girl needs a fucking break.”
“I’ll order it,” Wes began. “Any idea what she likes?”
“Mushrooms.”
Wes pulled out his phone and ordered one pie with mushrooms and another with peppers and onions. We grew up together, so Wes knew what I preferred on pizza and he didn’t think twice in ordering it. I wasn’t one to get sentimental, but at this particular time in my life, it was nice having friends around that gave a shit and did things that might not seem like a big deal, but spoke volumes about what they’d do for you in a crisis. I could only hope Emme would realize, especially after the texts I showed her this morning, that she had people who cared about her and would always be there for her. Had Levi and Cruz been there last night they, too, would have checked in on her in one way or another. And, it’s very likely they would have been even more pissed than everyone else was at what she endured at the hands of that monster.
While we waited for the pizza to be delivered and the girls to come out of Emme’s room, Wes brought me up to speed on Charley’s version of the events from last night. She was extremely concerned for Emme and was worried that Emme wouldn’t forgive her for keeping things from her. I told Wes a bit about my conversation with Emme this morning and how she was feeling guilty about the situation with Charley. Wes and I both concluded that they’d be fine, but since we were dealing with women we also knew that it could go either way. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Wes went to answer the door and I took to getting out plates. As he brought the pizza in the girls emerged. Wes and I turned our attention to them and waited for one of them to give us an indication of where they stood.
“You ordered pizza?” Charley asked.
“Yeah, you girls want to eat?” Wes answered.
The girls smiled at each other, which was a huge relief to me, before Charley teased, “Well, you two can’t exactly eat all of this on your own.”
She hopped up on one of the barstools and Wes got her a slice. I was already getting Emme a mushroom slice. As I handed her the plate I whispered, “You doing ok, sweetheart?”
She gave me a small smile and nodded her head. I gave her a wink and sat down next to her at the island. We ate pizza and then we spent the rest of the day hanging with Charley and Wes at the girls’ condo. We avoided last night’s incident and everyone made a genuine effort to help make sure Emme had a carefree day. Overall, I would consider it a success.
Wes and Charley were finally ready to call it a night. When I agreed, I saw the expression on Emme’s face change. She went from being happy and relaxed to worried and distressed in about two seconds. Charley came over to check on Em once last time before she came to me, pulled me into a hug, and said, “Thanks for taking care of my girl last night and today.”
I quietly replied, “She’s not just your girl.” After she pulled away I gave her a wink and she and Wes walked down the hall to her bedroom.
As they walked away, Emme got up from the couch and stood in front of me. She said nothing. I ran the back of my fingers down her cheek before I cupped her cheek in my hand. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” I said to her.
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I guess I have a lot going through my head right now.”
“Understandable, Em. But, from the time we had pizza earlier until just before everyone decided to call it a night you seemed to be fairly relaxed and relatively happy. Now, you seem as though you are a bit anxious. Tell me why.”
“I guess I’m just trying to come to terms with some things Charley said to me earlier.”
“Which are?”
“For almost a year now I’ve been living my life basically as a hermit. I don’t want to form any new bonds or connections with anyone because I’m afraid for them and I’m afraid for myself. Of course, you’ve made me unsuccessful in this venture. Charley told me, though, that if I continue living my life this way, then Taj died for no reason. And, she’s right. I know it, but I’m scared. I don’t want him to have died for no reason, Zane, but my fear is crippling me. And now, when everyone gets up and is ready to call it a night I’m sitting here thinking how I really want to ask you to stay with me for just one more night, but that I’m petrified that I’m giving into something that I shouldn’t.”
“Would it help if I told you that I was planning on spending the night with you regardless of whether you asked me to or not?”
Her eyes rounded and she asked, “You were already planning on staying?”
“Would have liked it if you asked me to, but yeah, I was already planning on it.”
Relief washed over her features and I pulled her into a hug. She didn’t have to say anything because everything she wanted to tell me was conveyed in that hug. I gave her a minute before I told her I needed to run to my truck. I had a bag with some snowboarding gear and spare clothes in it. After grabbing my bag, I walked with Emme down to her bedroom. I took a quick shower and then, because we both hadn’t slept much last night, I joined her in bed, pulled her body next to mine, wrapped my arm around her waist, and held her while we slept.