Emme
Zane trailed behind me as he allowed me to guide him down the hall toward my bedroom. My stomach was a bunch of nerves. In fact, I felt a bit giddy.
We entered my bedroom and I turned to look at him. He stood just inside the closed door, but made no move. I appreciated, more than he could know, him allowing me to set the pace.
“Please make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to head into the bathroom to change out of this dress and wash the makeup off my face,” I said as I walked over to my dresser to grab a pair of shorts and a camisole.
I walked into the bathroom and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I stared for a moment at myself in the mirror before I stripped out of the dress. I pulled on my shorts and camisole and took to washing my face. Then, I decided I should probably brush my teeth. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and walked out into my bedroom.
My breath hitched as I stepped out from behind the door. Zane was in my bed. He had removed his jacket, sweater, and boots and was wearing just a pair of jeans and a white undershirt. Zane’s eyes traveled the length of my body, lingering for a bit on my chest. The two parts of my body that I was considered blessed in were my ass and my boobs. Apparently, Zane had an appreciation for at least one of those parts.
His eyes came to my face as I stood there. I suddenly realized just how nervous I was. I looked away from him, but he immediately caught my attention when he quickly sat up in the bed and swung his legs over the side.
He held his hand out to me.
A moment passed before I walked toward him and stopped just in front of him. He took my hand in his, turned slightly toward the head of the bed, and pulled back the blankets. Zane continued to hold my hand as I climbed into the bed. I moved to the opposite side as he pulled his legs back up onto the bed. I was sitting up in the bed while Zane dropped to his back, his head on the pillow.
With his arm outstretched he said, “Come here, sweetheart.”
I cautiously leaned toward him. My head fell to the crook of his arm, my hand to his chest while he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We stayed there in silence for a long while. I took in his scent and listened to his heart beating in his chest.
“Zane?” I called quietly.
“Yeah, Em?” he answered.
Damn. That voice.
“Will you tell me something?”
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Anything you feel comfortable sharing.”
“Open book, Emme. Ask me whatever you want.”
“Ok, what is your last name?” I asked.
He laughed and said, “Cunningham. That’s it?”
I thought for a minute and finally asked, “Will you tell me about your family? Are you close with them?”
“Greatest people in the world. My parents, David and Trisha, are incredible. I guess anyone would have to be to put up with the likes of me and my brothers. We are incredibly lucky; we have very supportive and loving parents.”
“What do your parents do?”
“My mom is a family doctor; my dad is a surgeon.”
“How many brothers do you have?”
“Two. Levi is my older brother; Cruz is my younger brother. I’m the middle child. What about you?”
“I have amazing parents, Vince and Valerie, but I’m an only child. My house was quiet growing up,” I admitted.
“I couldn’t imagine that. My brothers made my childhood so much more exciting and fun. That had to be lonely for you.”
I pushed away from Zane, fell to my back, and let out a sigh. Oddly enough, my childhood wasn’t as lonely as one might think. It was adulthood that had proved to be much gloomier than I had ever thought possible.
“Fuck, Emme. I’m sorry. That was insensitive,” Zane said as he turned his body toward mine.
“It’s ok. My parents made sure I always had people around me. And, I’ve known Charley, Nikki, and Monroe my whole life. Those girls became my sisters, so I wasn’t as lonely as you might think…certainly not as lonely as I feel now.”
“Want to talk about that?” he asked.
Shit. Why was I suddenly so chatty?
I shook my head.
“If you change your mind, I’m all ears.”
I smiled up at him and hesitantly put my hand up to his face to cup his jaw. “Thank you, Zane.”
“For what?”
“For staying with me tonight, without the promise of anything in it for you.”
“Are you kidding me? Emme, lying next to you in your bed with your beautiful body pressed up against mine is more than enough for me. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t want more with you, but I’m not here for me right now. You asked me to give you something tonight and I like you enough that I’m going to do what I can do to give you that.”
He warmed my heart with his words. My reaction to those words was to lift my head slightly while wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck to pull him closer to me. His eyes searched my face as he brought his lips to mine. He stopped within inches of my mouth and just looked in my eyes. “Will you kiss me, Zane?” I asked.
I barely got the words out before his lips came crashing down on mine. The feeling that swept through my body was overwhelming. Zane’s body was half covering mine while one of his hands wrapped around the skin at the side of my throat. The kiss very soon turned more intense as Zane’s tongue slipped past my lips.
I moaned. I wanted more of him. I needed to feel more. My hands went under the hem of his shirt and I ran my fingers along the skin of his back. His body was solid and strong. He felt so good and I was seriously turned on. Zane was also turned on as I could feel the evidence of that pressing into my body. Before things got too far out of control I tore my mouth from his. Our breathing was heavy as we stared into each other’s eyes.
I swallowed hard. I was scared. It was not fear for my safety. Rather, I was scared by my lack of control around Zane. I was scared at how he made me feel. I was scared that I was doing something now that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to turn back from. But mostly, I was scared for him.
My body tensed as I realized just how scared I was for him. Zane immediately recognized it and pulled back.
“If you need to stop, Emme, just say it. It’s cool.”
I closed my eyes, feeling defeated, guilty, and selfish.
“I’m sorry,” I said, unable to look him in the eye.
He took his finger to my jaw and turned my face so I had no choice but to look at him.
“That’s the second time you’ve apologized to me in less than an hour for no good reason,” he said.
My eyes welled up with tears and I tried to blink them away. Zane’s brows drew together at the sight of this and he lifted completely off my body. He settled on the bed next to me, wrapped an arm around my waist, and turned my body into his. I instinctively fisted his t-shirt in my hands pulling it toward me. He shifted his body closer to mine and I burrowed my face into his chest. Zane’s hand went to the top of my head and I felt his fingers run through my hair against my scalp.
After several minutes, Zane broke the silence and asked, “You want to talk about it?”
I shook my head.
“Ok,” he began. “You still want me here with you tonight?”
I tensed. There was the guilt again. Did he want to leave?
“Emme, if you want me here it’s exactly where I want to be.”
I pulled my head back from his chest so I could look at him. He looked down at me and I pleaded, “Please stay with me tonight.”
His eyes warmed just before he nodded at me. I snuggled closer to his body, my face inches from his chest once again. He wrapped his arms around me just a little tighter. Within minutes, feeling safe, I was asleep.
Run, Emme. Keep running through the darkness. Left, right, left, right. You’ve got to get away this time. You’ve got to get somewhere safe. Run, run, run.
Look ahead, there’s the light. Stay steady and just keep running. Get away, Em. You’ve got to get away. You’re almost there. Keep running.
I continued chanting to myself.
“Ow.”
I was on the ground. I tried to avoid the rut in the road and failed. Now I was face down on the ground and I knew he’d be there any second.
Like clockwork he stepped out in front of me. “Oh, Emily. When will you learn? You can’t run away from me. I will always find you.”
I began to cry and plead with Seth as I always did, “Please, don’t. Please let me go.”
“Never, Emily. Never.”
He walked closer and closer to me and I began to panic. I knew what was coming. I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder.
“Emme, sweetheart, wake up.”
I jolted awake.
Daylight.
When I looked up I saw Zane, with a terrifyingly concerned face, looking back at me.
“I think you were having a bad dream.”
His voice warmed my soul and settled my anxiety almost immediately. As it surrounded me I felt safe again.
“I’m so sorry if I woke you,” I responded, embarrassed. I wondered what he witnessed to know enough to wake me up from it.
“You’ve got to stop apologizing to me, Emme. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I swallowed hard past the lump forming in my throat. Humiliated by what happened, I didn’t know what to say.
“Are you ok?” Zane asked.
Shit. I didn't want to lie to him, but I definitely didn’t want to talk about it.
“I will be. Thank you for waking me and pulling me out of it before it got really bad.”
Zane jerked his head back at that statement and I realized I had said too much.
“This happen before?” he asked.
“From time to time. Zane, please, can we not talk about it?” I begged.
He thought on it for a moment and I could tell he was struggling to let it go. Thankfully, he respected my wishes. He rolled to his back and curled an arm around my shoulders. My body was now pressed against his. It felt good so I enjoyed that feeling while I had it. Eventually, I lifted my head to look at him.
“Merry Christmas,” I said.
He angled his head down, kissed me on the forehead, and said, “Merry Christmas, Em.”
“I have to call my parents this afternoon,” I told him, though I wasn’t sure why.
“What time are they coming here?” he asked.
“They aren’t. They live in California,” I answered.
“I know you and Charley moved here from California. I assumed since you didn’t fly home that they were coming to visit you.”
I shook my head, feeling sad. I really missed my parents.
“Why wouldn’t they come to visit you? It’s Christmas.”
“I asked them not to come here.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because if they come here they’ll try to talk me into moving back there.”
“Considering you are their only child, I can understand why.”
“It’s never going to happen. I can’t ever go back there.”
Zane said nothing, but I could tell he was thinking. After a bit of silence, he asked, “Ok, so then what are your plans for Christmas?”
“Charley is going to Wes’ parent’s house this morning. We’re going to have dinner together later tonight.”
“So, your plan was to be by yourself all day?” he asked, his jaw clenching.
I shrugged my shoulders and rolled to my back. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll be fine.”
“Of course it’s a big deal. Nobody should be spending the holiday alone.”
I stayed silent. Lonely days, not just holidays, were already a huge part of my life. Why should the holiday being here make it any different? I wasn’t looking for pity, either. I made my decision on how to live the rest of my life. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I wouldn’t ever take chances with anything again.
I moved to get out of the bed when Zane grabbed me by the wrist. I tensed immediately and looked back at him. Zane’s brows drew together for a brief second, but he quickly recovered.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I need coffee,” I answered.
“Stay. I’ll get it.”
“Zane, you don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but you’ve had a rough morning. Let me get the coffee.”
“Ok,” I answered.
“Cream and sugar?” he asked.
I nodded.
Zane got out of the bed, walked to the bedroom door, turned back to look at me lying in bed, and finally, walked out. He wasn’t gone more than a minute before I heard a knock at the door. The door opened and Charley walked in.
“Hey, honey,” she began. “I was just getting ready to leave with Wes, but wanted to check and make sure you were good.”
“I’m good, Charley.”
“You sure you don’t want to go with us?” she asked. “I feel horrible leaving you here alone today.”
“Sweets, I’m fine. And if anything crazy comes up I’ll call you. Go have the single most nerve-wracking experience of your life and meet your man’s parents. Can’t wait to hear all about it later,” I said, trying to reassure her.
“Gee, thanks, Em. We’ll be back plenty early so that you and I can make dinner and celebrate. Merry Christmas, honey.”
“Merry Christmas, Charley.”
I was cuddled up, warm and toasty, under the blankets when Zane walked back in. He had good timing because any longer and I’d have been back asleep. I sat up in the bed and held out my hands for the coffee mug. I took it from him, held it up to my mouth, and took a sip.
“Thank you,” I said, closing my eyes and inhaling the sweet aroma.
He chuckled and said, “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
I eventually felt awake enough to have a real conversation so I asked, “So how does your family typically celebrate Christmas?”
“Not like Wes’ family with an enormous breakfast in the morning. We usually have a big lunch and spend the day visiting with extended family. I can remember when we were younger we’d spend Christmas morning at our house opening gifts and then we’d go to my grandparents’ house for the rest of the day. As a little kid, walking into their house, I remember the stacks of gifts being taller than I was at the time. Of course, I’m not sure that I appreciated it all the way that I should have at the time. My grandparents have both since passed, but those memories are some of the greatest that I have of Christmas.”
“Wow, sounds like you were a bit spoiled.”
He nodded and grinned at me. “No use in trying to deny it, either.”
I smiled back at him and then asked, “I know I’ve already asked a lot of you, but would you let me cook you breakfast before you have to go this morning?”
Zane just stared at me and said nothing. Ok, maybe not.
“It’s ok if you don’t want to or if you need to leave now. I just wanted to show my appreciation for you staying with me last night. It means a lot. I can try to make it up to you another time if you want.”
“Are you serious?” Zane asked.
“Um, yes?” I said, unsure of where he was going with this.
“Emme, I’m not fucking leaving you here by yourself today.”
“Excuse me?”
“Talked to Wes this morning when I went out to make coffee and Charley came in here. They are going to be at his parents’ house this morning and then Wes is taking Charley back to his place for a bit. He has her gift there. I know they are coming back here, but it won’t be until much later.”
“You aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know.”
“So you think I’m an asshole, then?” he asked.
I drew my brows together, confused, and a bit nervous as he was now seeming a little angry. “No, not at all. Why would you say that?”
“Only an asshole would leave a girl like you alone on Christmas Day while he goes off to spend the day surrounded by lots of people.”
“I’m sorry, Zane. I didn’t mean to imply anything by it. It’s just that I’ve already taken up a lot of your time and, don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate it. I just don’t want to inconvenience you anymore.”
“Fuck, Emme. Stop fucking apologizing like you’ve done something wrong. I was here last night not just because you asked me to be, but because it’s where I wanted to be. And, I’ll say it again, I’m not fucking leaving you here by yourself today.”
Well, fuck, he could be scary. I looked away as my eyes filled with tears. He was so angry and I didn’t want to make him even more angry so I figured it was best to say nothing.
His finger came to rest on my jaw as he turned my head back so that I was facing him. A look of remorse washed over his face.
“Emme, I didn’t mean to upset you and I’m sorry for getting frustrated. I just don’t understand why you think it’s ok for you to be alone today. I’d love for you to cook me breakfast this morning. But after, sweetheart, I’d really like for you to come with me to my place so I can shower and change my clothes before going to have lunch with my family.”
My eyes got big and I stared at him. I was not expecting that. His voice was so tender, too, as he spoke. I was not sure I was up to the task. Sure, I’d absolutely make him breakfast. Heck, I’d even consider going with him to his place so that he could shower and change his clothes. But lunch with his family? No way. Not a chance.
“Zane…I really appreciate the invitation, but I can’t go.”
“Why not? You don’t have any other plans this afternoon and I’ll make sure we’re back in plenty of time for dinner with Charley and Wes.”
“But Zane — this is your family. And it’s Christmas. You and I just met.”
“Your point being?” he asked.
“I can’t intrude on something like that. Besides, I told you last night, I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
“You wouldn’t be intruding. I’m inviting you as my guest. And I know where you stand, Emme. Can’t say I’m not disappointed and won’t try to change your mind, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Friends don’t let each other spend the holidays alone. You don’t want to go, fine. I’ll just give my family a call and let them know I won’t be coming today.”
He wanted to change my mind? Now I really felt guilty.
I rolled my eyes at him and said, “Well there’s nothing like twisting my arm. I’m not going to let you not see your family today because of me. I guess I’m having lunch with you and your family.”
He gave me a big, sexy grin.
Damn. Why did he have to be so beautiful?
“Bacon, eggs, and toast?” I asked.
“Works for me.”
With that, I made Zane breakfast to distract myself from the nerves I felt about what was ahead for me.