Chapter 1

Faith

The first time I saw him, I hated his guts.

He was the sexiest creature on God’s green earth, and he was all the things I would never have. He was cocky, arrogant, and confident, but in none of the ways I was used to with Wolf.

He walked into the Los Lobos hangout like he owned the place. He was late for his appointment and for a brief moment, I wondered what he told the guards for them to let him past. I was the only one still in the bar, enjoying a rare moment to myself.

“I’m looking for Wolf,” he said.

I shrugged. “You’re late.”

I was different in those days. I wasn’t happy with the hand life dealt me, and I took it out on whoever I could. I’m not proud of the way I was, but things were getting desperate for me and I was too afraid to admit I’d made a mistake. Wolf Staten was my mistake—a cruel, brutish mistake—a mistake I could never unmake.

“Well, whatever you do, don’t trouble yourself,” he said, an arrogant smile on his lips.

Was this jerk taunting me?

The truth was, I was sick of Los Lobos and their smooth-talking, tattooed musclemen. The fact that this one had arms like Mark Wahlberg and a smile to match didn’t change that. He was a criminal, just like the others, and if he wanted to speak to Wolf, he could damn well show up on time like everyone else.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was supposed to jump to attention every time a guy like you walked in.”

“You always this friendly to your potential partners?”

“You’re not my potential anything,” I said.

“You don’t know that.”

I looked into his eyes. Something about his confidence bugged the crap out of me. I couldn’t say what. Usually when people came to Los Lobos, they were scared to death. This guy looked like he was on a morning stroll through the park.

“Yes, I do,” I said pointedly.

He held me in his gaze, then shrugged. “You might be surprised.”

“Might I? I doubt it.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

He was infuriating.

“Forget it,” I said. “Whatever you’re thinking, forget it. Then forget what you forgot. You look like the kind of guy who could manage that.”

He let out a laugh.

My eyes glanced over his chiseled chest and torso, visible through his tight shirt. God, he was sexy.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re touchy?” he said.

“I’ve got my reasons,” I said defensively.

“I bet you do,” he said, looking around the bar.

I didn’t know if he was agreeing with me or challenging me. I didn’t know how to read him. He was frank and direct, didn’t play games, and in the world I lived in, games were the only thing that mattered.

“We could do this all day,” I said, “but I’m not in the mood for banter.”

“Have it your way. You know where I can find him?”

“Who?” I said, knowing full well who he meant. I was prolonging our interaction without even realizing it. Was I that lonely for real contact?

“Wolf.”

“I’m sorry, is there something about me that gives you the impression I’m his secretary?”

“Jesus. What is it with you? Just tell me where he is.”

“Fine. He’s gone. They all are. You missed them.”

“Shit,” he said.

I nodded. “So, you know, don’t let me keep you.”

I’d become a bitch and I knew it. He knew it too, but he took it as a challenge. He was one of those guys who wanted what he couldn’t have.

He looked at me and a smile crossed his face that drove me mad. He was so sexy I had to bite my lip. I won’t say what I really wanted to bite. It wasn’t every day I was alone with a guy like this. Wolf was too jealous to allow it. The way this guy looked at me made my heart speed up.

“Girl, you’re lucky I don’t come over there and teach you some manners.”

A mental image of him bending me over the bar and spanking my naked butt flashed before my eyes. It made my cheeks flush.

He was charming as hell. He was my type too, sexy, the bad boy look, muscles, a raw attitude that exuded confidence. I wanted him to leave so I wouldn’t be reminded of all the things I couldn’t have.

I already knew he was nothing like Wolf. This guy would be good to his girl. He’d treat her right. He wouldn’t hit her. I had experience in that department, and I could tell. The truth was, this guy was everything I’d given up forever by getting involved with Wolf, and it was torture to see it.

I wanted him to turn around and walk out the door, but another part of me was desperate for him to stay.

“Manners?” I said.

His grin stretched from ear to ear. “The manners your daddy should have taught you.”

I couldn’t resist. “You wouldn’t have the nerve,” I said and, despite my intentions, gave him a sly smile.

That got his attention. He looked at me again as if seeing me for the first time. His eyes drank me in from head to toe, staring at my ass and tits longer than was necessary.

“Try me,” he said.

“Trust me, you don’t want to get mixed up with a girl like me.”

“Are you that dangerous?”

“Let’s just say, if you messed with me, you’d be taking your life in your hands.”

I don’t know what got me talking to him like that. It wasn’t like me to flirt with the lowlifes that did business with Los Lobos. I despised all of them. But everything about this guy was different. He had balls. In all the months I’d been with Wolf, this was the first time I’d met anyone who seemed to have the nerve to rival him.

“Don’t you know?” he said, “Some things are worth risking your life for.”

“Some things?”

“Sure. Some things,” he said and looked down at my ass again as if assessing me, checking if I was one of those things worth taking a risk for. Cocky prick.

The way he looked at me made me feel the need to prove myself. I realized I was sitting up straight in my seat, shoulders back, breasts pushed forward, the way my mother had always wanted me to sit when I was a kid. For the first time in months, I actually cared what someone thought of me.

He melted my resistance. I struggled not to show it. I couldn’t let this go anywhere. As tempted as I was to flirt, I would be literally taking my life in my hands if I did.

“Let’s you and me go for a walk,” he said.

I laughed. “A walk?”

He winked. God he was arrogant. I loved it.

“What makes you think I want to go for a walk with you?”

His eyebrows rose. “Shapely legs, tight ass, I bet you can walk the fuck out of those pumps.”

I burst out laughing. “Walk the fuck out of my pumps?” I repeated out loud. I couldn’t believe he’d said it like that.

“Girl, I can tell an assassin when I see one.”

If Wolf ever overheard anything like this, there’d be hell to pay. He’d string me up and have his thugs beat the shit out of me. But he’d left for Vegas.

“An assassin?”

“An assassin of the heart.”

That did it. I burst out laughing even louder than before. I laughed harder than I had in months. He was playing, being intentionally ridiculous, but it worked. If it hadn’t been for the threat of Wolf’s jealousy, I’d have gotten on the back of his bike and ridden with him wherever the hell he wanted. I’d always been a sucker for a cocky bad boy with the guts to let me know what he wanted from me.

“I’ve never heard anyone use that line,” I laughed.

He was smirking now. He knew he’d won me over. “It’s not a line.”

“Isn’t it?”

His eyes crawled over me, lingering on all the hotspots. He had some nerve. I had to give him that much. He knew how to walk into a room, spot what he wanted, and go for it.

“Well, before you get carried away, you ought to know I’m Wolf’s girl.”

“Is that a warning?”

“I’d just hate to see anything bad happen to you.”

He took a seat at the bar next to me. It was a bold gesture given that every other seat in the place was empty.

“Why would anything bad happen?” he said.

“Well, you seem to be getting ideas.”

“What sort of ideas?”

I looked away. He was trying to goad me. “You know what I mean.”

He looked right at me with those intense eyes. His jaw looked like it was cut from marble. I wanted to rub my hand against the shadow of his stubble, just to feel its roughness.

“What if I told you I don’t care whose girl you are?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What if you got on my bike right now, and rode back with me to Rio Secco?”

“Wolf would kill you,” I said.

“Wolf can go fuck himself.”

No one spoke that way about Wolf. Was this a test? Had Wolf sent this guy to see how I’d respond? I wouldn’t put it past him.

“Who are you?” I said.

“Listen, I’m not kidding. I can see you don’t like this shit hole. I don’t blame you. Your boyfriend’s scum. You’re too good for him. Los Lobos are heartless bastards. There’s something better, and it’s just a ride away.”

“As easy as that?” I said.

“Sure.”

“We’d go back to your place?”

“Yes we would.”

“What then?”

“Then we’d fuck like rabbits.”

“Charming,” I said, but I wasn’t as unaffected as I put on.

My lip quivered with emotion that seemed to rise from nowhere. It was raw, a mixture of anger and sorrow. I wasn’t angry at him. I was angry at the situation I was in, and the fact that I couldn’t take him up on his offer, no matter how right he was about my life. I wanted to cry but I held it in.

“Don’t think, just do it,” he said. “We’ll be in California before Wolf even knows you’re missing.”

“Just do it?”

“I’ll show you what it’s like to be with a real man.”

For a second I lost it. I slapped him across the face. That surprised him. It had seemingly come from nowhere. Where did he get off? Did he honestly think I’d throw myself at him for saying something like that? Even if I could? He was insane. I put force into that slap, really hit him hard. I knew it hurt.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t ever speak to me like that. I’m not perfect, but the least I deserve is respect. You don’t even know me.”

“Don’t I?” he said, trying to lighten the mood again, but I wasn’t having it.

“Fuck you,” I said.

I was being unfair. I was blaming him for all that was wrong in my life. Through his shirt I could see the tattoos inked into his skin. They were intricate and so sexy on his perfect chest. I prayed he couldn’t tell how attracted to him I was.

“Look, I know Wolf. I know Los Lobos. I know how they treat their women.”

“You don’t know shit about me.”

“Everything doesn’t have to be the way Wolf says it is. Not everyone’s afraid of him and his cocksucker friends.”

“They’re killers.”

“They’re not the only killers.”

“Oh, that’s supposed to make me feel better? Leave one criminal to get in bed with another?”

“Now you’re talking,” he said.

He made me so angry. This was my life, and he was treating me like some random pickup in a bar. I suppose to him I was.

“And what then?” I said. “After you’re done with me? After you’ve had your way with me and I’ve given you everything you want? What the fuck then?”

“Then we get married. Make babies. White picket fence.”

I slapped him again, harder than the first time. It was so hard my hand stung. I took pleasure from the fact his cheek reddened.

He shook his head. I’d angered him.

I was wearing a cheap necklace, a heart pendant on a silver chain, and he grabbed it in his fist and yanked it. The chain snapped and he put it in his pocket. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? That he’d stolen my heart? He hadn’t stolen shit.

“You’re cruel,” I said.

“Maybe I am, but I meant every word I said to you.”

“Give me my chain back.”

“I will, some day far in the future, when you don’t even remember I have it.”

I was going to cry, and I didn’t want him to see. I didn’t even know why. This guy was a primo asshole. He was toying with my emotions, pushing my buttons. He should have known better. He should have known I was trapped. You don’t walk up to a slave and ask them to go for a walk. It’s not fair.

I stormed out of the bar. As soon as the door slammed, I burst into tears. Fuck him. How dare he play with me like that. Talk is cheap. Where I come from, you either give a girl what she needs, or you shut the fuck up.

You don’t get to talk the talk and not do anything about it.

He could keep the shitty chain. Twenty bucks would get me a new one.

In the coming weeks, I forced myself to push him from my mind. And yet, nothing was the same after that.

Days turned to weeks and then months, and Wolf treated me worse and worse.

I didn’t even know the name of the jackass from the bar, but I couldn’t forget him. I couldn’t forget that there was someone out there with the balls to say, ‘Fuck Wolf Staten.’

And if he could say it, why the hell couldn’t I?