Chapter 19

Faith

I waited that whole night, sitting by the huge window overlooking the valley, the roaring fire offering me the only comfort I could get. When the sun rose I got up and made coffee.

Lacey was the first to wake and I pounced on her with questions.

“Is there any word?”

She shook her head. “I have no way of contacting Grady. We’ll have to wait for him to get back.”

My hand was trembling as I stirred milk into my coffee.

“Faith, you should rest.”

“I can’t rest. I need to know he’s coming back.”

I could feel the tears rising to my eyes. I tried to hold them back but it was no good.

Lacey put her hand on my shoulder.

“It all happened so fast,” I said.

“Tell me about it,” she said, doing her best to take my mind from Jackson’s present situation.

“Well,” I said, “it was just two days ago. I’d finally had all I could take from Wolf.”

“I can imagine.”

“He was going to lock me in a compound.”

Lacey nodded. She’d heard the same stories about Los Lobos I had.

“So you ran.”

“I ran.”

“I’d have done the same thing,” Lacey said. “If I had the courage.”

“I didn’t know where I was going. I hitched a ride and ended up at a motel along the highway.”

“And that’s where you met Jackson?”

“Yes, well, actually, we’d met before at the Los Lobos bar in Reno.”

“Oh, of course. I heard about that.”

“Really?”

“Jackson said he met a real bitch there.”

I smiled. “Yes, that would have been me.”

“He also said you were the most intoxicating thing he’d ever set eyes on.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“He said that about me?”

“We don’t keep many secrets from each other in this house, Faith. Jackson was always a player so we didn’t think much of it at first. But days and weeks passed and he was still talking about you. It was unheard of for him.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“It’s pretty miraculous you ran into him in your hour of need. He’s one of the few men alive who’d face Wolf Staten and Los Lobos.”

“A strange coincidence,” I said.

“You could call it a coincidence, or you could call it fate.”

I nodded. “The more I think about it, the stranger it is,” I said.

“Very strange,” Lacey said. “It was the night his father died.”

“The only thing on his mind was having a son to carry on his father’s name.”

“And then he ran into you, asking for his help. He didn’t stand a chance.”

I looked into her eyes. It was too much. It was all true. Tears fell from my eyes.

“The moment he saw me, he was done for,” I said.

“Oh, Faith,” Lacey said, putting her arms around me. “That’s not the way it is. Whatever Jackson got into with you, he went into with his eyes open. I’ve never met a smarter man. If he offered you his help, you can be certain he knew what he would get in return, and it was worth it to him. If he asked you to have his baby, that was the most important thing in the world to him at that moment, and he was more than willing to risk his life for it.”

“I just don’t understand,” I said. “There are so many other women who could have had his baby. He didn’t need to throw his life away to have it with me.”

Lacey shook her head. “The heart wants what the heart wants,” she said.

“I just hope he comes back to me.”

“I know, Faith. I know.”

I went quiet. I stared out the window at the glowing sky. It truly was a beautiful sight, the ocean in the distance reflecting the light like a mirror.

“You’ll make a nice life here, Faith.”

I started to cry. I wanted it so badly I could hardly bear it. I wanted to create a life in that place, in that beautiful valley, with Jackson.

“Come on,” Lacey said. “Come to my room. I’ll wake you as soon as there’s news.”

Reluctantly I followed her to her bedroom and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep sleep.

I dreamed I was on a pier, looking out at sea, and Jackson was on a boat sailing away from me. I wanted to dive into the water and swim after him, even if it meant drowning, but something stopped me. I knew what it was. It was the baby in my womb.

I woke with a start. Lacey was there.

“Is he back?”

One look into her eyes and I knew the answer. She shook her head. “Faith, I’m so sorry.”

“No,” I cried.

“Grady did everything he could but he got there too late. Jackson had already attacked Staten’s mountaintop villa.”

“Alone?”

“Alone.”

“No,” I said again, refusing to believe my ears.

“Grady heard gunfire, and he waited for Jackson to come back out of the compound.”

“But he didn’t come out, did he?”

Lacey shook her head.

I pulled the blanket over my head. I couldn’t bear for her to see my face. Tears were streaming over my cheeks and I felt lost—utterly lost.

I’d only known Jackson for a few short days, but in that time he’d burned himself into my soul. I’d never get over him. I’d never be able to look at another man. My life was as good as over. If Jackson wasn’t coming back, I might as well be dead.

There was only one thing that gave me a reason to live. I was pregnant.