Chapter 38

Jackson

I wasn’t in the mood for the Rusty Nail. It was nice of the boys to take me out and all, but I had Faith and Sam on my mind. I needed to reconnect with them. They were my family. I couldn’t let any more time pass us by. They were mine and I had to return to them. I had a terrible feeling that if I didn’t, I’d miss out on the opportunity to be a part of their life. Forever, this time.

“Fellas, I’ve got to go do something,” I said.

“Come on,” Grady said, “we just got here.”

“I know. We’ll do this another night.”

“What have you got to do? You just got back. You don’t have any plans we don’t know about.”

I smiled but didn’t answer. They knew what business I had. “I’m taking the truck,” I said. “You fellas will have to find your own way home.”

We’d all rode down in the pickup. Grant and Grady in the cab. Me and Forrester in the back.

Forrester shrugged. “You owe us a night out, Jackson. This was in your honor.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, walking out of the bar. I knew that if it hadn’t been for me, they’d have been more than capable of coming up with another reason to head out for a few drinks.

I got into the truck and turned the ignition. I pulled out of the lot with no idea where I was headed. Instinctively, I drove up out of the valley. I was headed for the hills. That’s where Faith was. Even if I wasn’t going to meet her, I still wanted to be near where she was. I thought about going to her house, but I didn’t want to surprise her there.

As I drove up the mountain side, I passed the municipal boundary separating the Valley from the Hills. There was a clear difference between the two areas. Most of the roads in the valley weren’t paved. They were packed dirt, compressed by all the agricultural vehicles picking up fruit and grapes.

The valley was the hidden gem of California’s wine country. It had some of the best soil in the world. The climate was perfect for bringing out natural flavors. The heat built up during the day and gave the grapes a dryness you didn’t get in other places. In the evenings, cool, moist air rose off the Pacific and settled over the valley like a blanket.

It was a beautiful place to call home. It was a beautiful place to make a home with Faith, if she wanted to.

My relationship with Faith had taken an unconventional path. Twelve years apart was not something most people could survive. But I knew in my heart, Faith and I would survive anything. My love was like the vineyards in the valley. It would weather any drought.

The grapes were temperamental, the weather had to be just right, but the vines themselves were hardy. They’d never give up. They’d live for centuries. My love was like the ancient vines, the solid stone of the valley bed, the Rio Secco winding its way down to the ocean.

As I got into the hills, everything became more manicured and perfect. The roads were new and clean, with irrigated rows of palm trees along the sides. The houses were large and modern, with views over the valley to the south, or the ocean to the west. Hollywood actors, Bay Area tech billionaires, you name it. They all had weekend homes in the Hills.

It was a good place for Faith to be. A good place for her to raise my son. She’d chosen well and I loved her for it.

The town was idyllic, the way all American towns used to be. There was a real Main Street, with old fashioned stores that stayed open until late in the evening. You could still walk down the street and get a soda in the pharmacy, grab a burger in Harry’s diner, or catch a movie in the nickelodeon.

I pulled up outside the movie theater and remembered all the nights I’d gone there as a child to catch the feature. I used to go there with my daddy. I missed him. I hadn’t had much chance to dwell on it since his death, but I sure missed him. I loved him like the soil loves the rain.

I wondered what sort of father I’d make. What was in my blood? Did I have it in me to be a good daddy to Sam? Would I be able to show him the things he needed to be shown to become a man? Would he want to learn them from me?

I walked by the Dairy Parlor, another place that brought back memories, this time of my mother. I’d sit in there with her and eat ice cream while she watched me. Those were old memories, going right back to my youngest years. My mother had died a long, long time ago. I looked in through the glass, peering in as if I might still see my mother in there, sitting with me as a little boy.

But she wasn’t there. What I saw was another woman, another mother.

I saw Faith. She was sitting at a booth in the Dairy Parlor with a boy. My boy. It was the first time in my life I’d set eyes on Sam, and instantly I was filled with such overwhelming love for him that the rest of the world disappeared. My thoughts disappeared, my fears, my hopes, everything. My boy. My own boy. I couldn’t believe it. It was like waking up in winter to find spring had arrived. He was life, warmth, everything.

I didn’t waste a second. I couldn’t afford to lose another single one.

I walked right in. Like I said, if you’re going to do something in this life, you’re best to just do it right away. Don’t give yourself a chance to second-guess yourself.

“Faith, is that you?”