Chapter 27

Faith

My hand was shaking. I picked up the phone and dialed Lacey’s number. I swear, if it wasn’t for Lacey I’d have lost my mind long ago.

“Faith?”

“How’d you guess?”

“I’ve got a team of detectives working on it.”

“What?”

“Caller ID, silly.”

“Oh,” I laughed, but the strain in my voice was obvious.

“What is it, honey?”

“Did you hear?”

“Hear what?” she said.

“It’s on the news. He was murdered on an oil rig in Texas. As far as I can tell, that’s the last of Los Lobos.”

“The last one?” Lacey said.

“Yes. I think so. I think they’re all dead, Lacey.”

“That’s great. That means you and Sam are finally safe.”

I was silent. Lacey was silent on the other end too. We both knew what I was thinking but I couldn’t bring it up so she did.

“So that mean’s he’ll come back for you now, Faith.”

Another long pause.

“Is it silly to hope for that?”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“But, you know, twelve years? What guy would hold out for a girl for that long? I don’t even know if it’s possible.”

“It’s possible. Think of all the great love stories. Men’s hearts are deeper than we give them credit for. They’ll wait a lifetime for the woman they love, Faith.”

“But is that what I am?”

“The woman Jackson Jones loves?”

“Yes.”

“Of course you are. You know it. What did he say to you?”

“It was so long ago, Lacey.”

“Tell me what he said.”

She knew every detail of the three days I’d spent with Jackson. I’d told it all to her a thousand times.

“He said I was his and he was mine.”

“Yes, and would he have said that if he didn’t mean it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Faith,” Lacey said, using her stern voice. “Come on. You know better than that.”

“I’m doubting myself.”

“Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t give in to fear. If Jackson said he was coming back to you after the job was done, he’ll come back.”

“I guess this means he’s still alive.”

Lacey was silent. I didn’t know what she was thinking but there was something on my chest I’d been dying to get off and I took the opportunity.

“Lacey,” I said.

“Yes?”

“There’s something else. Something I didn’t tell you.”

“What?”

“It happened about a week ago.”

“Oh my God, Faith. Tell me what it is.”

“I picked up a man.”

“You what?”

I laughed nervously. “Not like that. I didn’t pick up. But there was a man on the road, I nearly hit him with my car. He was all right, but I gave him a ride into the valley.”

Faith said nothing.

“I think …”

“You think what, Faith?”

“Well, remember I told you about the first time I met Jackson, in the Los Lobos bar, and he snatched a chain from around my neck?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, this man last week. There was something strange about him.”

“He reminded you of Jackson?”

“Yes. He did. I didn’t realize it until he was gone, but he … reminded me of Jackson. And he left something hanging from my mirror.”

“What was it?”

I was going to answer but my voice caught in my throat.

“He left the chain in your car?” Lacey gasped.

“Yes,” I said at last.

“It was Jackson?”

“I don’t know. That’s the thing. It only came to me after he was gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“My hands started shaking. I felt as if I’d seen a ghost.”

“And you thought it was him?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Holy hell, Faith. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I’m telling you now.”

Lacey paused, then she said, “If you had a feeling like that, that’s your heart telling you something.”

“Have you heard anything?”

There was another pause.

“Lacey? Have you heard anything?” I said again.

“Faith, we need to talk.”

“Lacey. You’d tell me if you knew something, wouldn’t you?”

“Your happiness means the world to me, sweetie,” she said. “You’re my best friend in the world.”

“Lacey, what am I going to do? How come he hasn’t come for me? That was a week ago. The news said the Los Lobos killing was over a week ago too. If he’s back and he hasn’t contacted me, what does that mean?”

“Don’t jump to any conclusions. You don’t even know if he’s back yet.”

“But what if he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t want his son? What if I’ve been waiting all these years for nothing, like a complete idiot?”

“You’re not an idiot, Faith.”

I sighed. I hated to lean on her like this for emotional support, but sometimes you just need help. You need a friend. Being a single mom isn’t easy. Losing the love of your life for twelve years isn’t easy. I had Sam, and I loved him to bits, but it’s not the same as having an adult to talk to.

“We’ve got to meet up tonight,” Lacey said.

“No, it’s all right,” I lied. “You’ve got a date with Matt, don’t you?”

Lacey had been seeing a guy named Matt for two years, and somehow hadn’t told any of the brothers about it. She was afraid they’d scare him off so she’d kept her relationship with him a complete secret.

“He’s in San Francisco for that conference.”

“He’s not coming home?”

“He just called. The company got him a hotel so he’s staying there for the week.”

“Oh, so you don’t have plans?”

“As usual,” Lacey said.

“Okay, let me make sure Sam goes to bed. Then I’ll open a bottle of wine.”

“What have you got?”

“Another local Zinfandel.”

“From the valley?”

“There are so many hidden gems in that soil, and we’re going to find them all.”

Lacey was my business partner. We’d opened the wine business together. Her father had established the vineyard the mansion was on and we were both committed to bringing Socorro Valley wine to the world.

“All right,” Lacey said. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I put away the things from dinner and then went into the den to check on Sam. He was watching the latest Transformer movie, a pack of Doritos on the sofa next to him. I couldn’t help feel a twinge of sadness for him. He was such a beautiful boy, the best thing I’d ever done in my life, but his life wasn’t complete without a father.

“You doing all right, buddy?”

He lifted his hand in answer.

“Five more minutes, okay. You’ve got school in the morning.”

“This is the best part, Mom. Optimus Prime.”

“Autobots, engage,” I said, in my pathetic robot voice.

“That’s Star Trek. Optimus says, ‘Autobots, roll out’.”

I sat down next to him. He graciously deigned to move his legs. “Want some chips?”

“No thanks, sweetie.”

“Diet?”

I laughed. “Sort of.”

“Your the thinnest mom out of all my friends.”

I looked at him sideways. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”

His left eyebrow arched. It was a gesture he’d inherited from Jackson and it melted my heart every time I saw it. I wanted my son’s father to come home to me so badly it hurt. If he was done with Los Lobos, if it was safe for him to return, then where the hell was he?

“All right,” I said, putting on my best down-to-business voice. “This part’s boring. Let’s turn it off and you can pick it back up tomorrow night.”

“Another exciting night in the adventurous life of Sam Jones,” he said. I’d insisted on giving him Jackson’s name, even if mine was still Shepherd.

“Maybe we’ll go out for something tomorrow.”

“Grab a bite to eat?”

“Some burgers, a movie. If you’re good.”

He got up from the couch and kissed me on the cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, Sam. I’ll be right there to tuck you in.”

“I know,” he said and left for his bedroom.

I turned off the television and went in to Sam’s room. “You all set, sweetie?”

“Yes, Mom.”

I kissed him goodnight. “You’re a good kid,” I whispered.

“You’re a good mom,” he said.

I went back to the den and picked up the Doritos bag. Before I could stop myself, I’d eaten a handful of chips.

There was a knock on the door. “Lacey, is that you? Come on in.”

Lacey came in and with her was my neighbor’s teenage daughter, Katie.

“What’s going on?” I said.

“Katie’s babysitting,” Lacey said.

“What?”

“I already paid her. We’re going out for a drink.”

“Lacey!”

“Go on. Get changed. You’ve got plans, woman.”

* * *

“You didn’t have to do that,” I said in Lacey’s car.

“It’s not just for you, it’s for me, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to get good and drunk, Faith. You’re not the only one with man problems.”

“Matt?”

Lacey nodded. I knew what she was alluding to. We hadn’t ever talked about it directly, but I knew Matt was having an affair. All the signs were there—late nights at the office, hotels in the city, and the biggest tell of all, a weight on Lacey’s heart like a grindstone.

Lacey drove calmly but I could tell she was torn up inside. There was an edge to her. I had the impression things could go very wrong for her when they finally blew up with Matt.

She’d been head-over-heels in love with him when they’d met. She’d invested everything in the relationship, all the time keeping it a complete secret from the brothers. That was no easy feat. I’m sure they suspected she was seeing someone, but if she didn’t want to introduce him to them, they weren’t going to pry. They completely respected her privacy, even while living in the same mansion.

But now he was breaking her heart, and I was the only one she could talk to about it. We passed the main street of our adorable, expensive-as-hell town and kept going down toward the valley.

“Madam, where are you taking me?” I said, trying to sound lighthearted. I wanted to cheer her up. She’d done the same for me many times.

She looked at me. “I really need a drink,” she said.

“It’s going to be one of those nights?”

“Hell, yes.”

“We’ll be calling the brothers for a ride home?”

“If we even make it home,” she said and laughed.

“You’re not planning on doing anything you’ll regret, are you?”

“I don’t know what I’m planning,” she said. “All I know is I’ve got to take control of my life, Faith. Matt’s cheating on me. I’m a beautiful woman in the prime of my life and I’m letting that asshole walk all over me. Plus, I always feel like a liar because I’m keeping it secret from the brothers.”

“They don’t care what you do in your love life,” I said.

“I know,” she said. “Fuck. What am I doing, Faith? All I’ll say is, I could do a lot worse than get in a little trouble down in the valley.”

I’d noticed a change in Lacey over the past few months but I’d tried not to focus on it. She hadn’t asked for advice regarding Matt, so I tried not to butt in. I’d be there for her when she was ready to break up with him, but in the meantime there wasn’t much I could do for her.

The thing was, it seemed to be affecting her more and more. She was getting a little wild, a little irrational. I didn’t hold it against her. Suspecting your partner of cheating is it’s own kind of hell, and no one can judge what it’s like, but I was worried for her.

I’d even considered telling the brothers what was going on, but I knew they’d step in, beat the shit out of Matt, and completely destroy any chance Lacey had of resolving the issue in her own way, however that might be. It killed me to see my best friend in so much pain, but apart from offering her my support, there was nothing I could do.

It wasn’t far to the Rusty Nail, the valley’s premier spot for late-night, early-morning, questionable decisions. The guys down there were a different breed. Every wife in the hills knew it, although few actually had the guts to come down and see for themselves.

I always liked going there because we were likely to run into the brothers. They were good guys, extremely protective of me and Sam, and they were the closest link I had to Jackson. I hoped we’d run into them.

Lacey pulled up next to a battered, beat-up, pickup truck. I recognized it as the one Forrester often drove. I noticed a wooden crate of wine bottles in the back. I still hadn’t tasted their latest creation.

“This looks like the place,” she said. “Let’s show these local boys something they’ll never forget.”

“I think Forrester is here,” I said.

She looked at me and shook her head. “It’s not Forrester,” she said.

“Who is it?”

“You’ll see,” she said. “Just remember, whatever happens, you mean more to me than anyone else in the world, Faith. All I care about is your happiness. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Tell me what?”

“You’ll see,” she said again.

I was confused, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but suddenly I felt very apprehensive about entering the bar.