Chapter Twenty-Nine

Lance

I bury my face in my hands as I sit in the hospital waiting room. A sigh of exasperation leaves my lips.

Now, this is a nightmare before Christmas.

I glance at Claus, who is curled up on the seat beside me with my coat as a blanket, asleep.

How could I have taken my eye off him even for a second? I should have known he'd get himself into trouble. Why was I tying another kid's shoelaces when I should have been watching my own son?

When I saw him hanging over the railing, I thought I was going to die. I've never felt so afraid before. Still, I wasn't going to let him fall. If Kevin hadn't appeared, I would never have let him go. I would have taken the fall with him if it came to it.

But Kevin did appear. And he caught Claus. It would have been a happy ending if he hadn't hurt himself. But he did. He hit his head, and now we're here at the hospital.

And it's all my fault.

"Oh, don't beat yourself up over it." Mrs. Cooper hands me a cup of coffee from the vending machine. "Kids get into trouble all the time."

My eyebrows rise. "Kids fall off balconies all the time?"

She sighs as she sits beside me.

"Claus could have died. If he hadn't held on to those boughs of holly, he would have fallen over, broken his neck and died."

"But he didn't," Mrs. Cooper points out. "An angel must have saved him."

"Kevin saved him," I correct her.

"Both of you did."

"But Kevin was the one who caught him and ended up getting hurt. He's the hero."

She turns to me. "I wasn't aware this was some kind of hero competition."

I frown. "I shouldn't have taken my eye off him."

She places her hand over mine. "It was an accident."

"Parents are supposed to prevent their children from getting into accidents."

"Well, you've only been a parent for a few days. You have a lot left to learn."

"I do," I admit.

In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm cut out to be a father after all.

I sip the coffee. It's hot but it feels good going down my throat. I wipe what's left of it off my lips.

"Jordan probably wants to call off the engagement now."

Mrs. Cooper throws me a puzzled look. "Why would she want to do that?"

"Because I almost killed her son and her brother."

"Claus is your son, too, and she knows that," Mrs. Cooper says. "She doesn't blame you for what happened. She's probably blaming herself. Mothers always do when their kids get hurt."

I frown. "Well, that's not much better."

"As for her brother, he just stumbled. It's not like you pushed him. And I'm sure he'll be fine."

"He hit his head," I say to her. "Again."

"Again?"

Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. What if Kevin loses his memories again? Or maybe even worse, what if he regains the ones he's lost?

Just then, a nurse appears in front of me.

"Mr. Abram?" she asks.

"Yes, that's me," I answer.

"Ms. Watts sent me to ask you to bring her son to her," the nurse says.

I nod. "I understand."

I pick Claus up in my arms.

"Follow me," the nurse says.

I follow her down the corridor until she stops. She opens the door and I enter. Jordan is sitting by the hospital bed where Kevin is, unconscious and hooked to a few machines. Her eyes look swollen.

When she sees me, she walks over to me and takes Claus.

"Thanks," she says in a whisper. "You can leave now."

I feel confused. "What?"

"They're keeping Kevin here for observation. You can go home."

"Then I should bring Claus with me," I say.

Jordan says nothing.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "You don't trust me to take care of him anymore, do you?"

"I told you to watch him."

"It was an accident."

"He nearly died!"

Her voice rises a notch. She glances at the bed.

"I'm sorry, Jordan," I tell her. "I didn't mean for all this to happen."

She says nothing. Her silence hurts more than her words.

I touch her arm. "Jordan, I - "

I stop as I see Kevin opening his eyes. Jordan turns her head and sees the same. She runs over to his bedside with Claus in her arms.

"Kevin!" she says his name excitedly. "Kevin, do you know who I am?"

For a moment, I hold my breath as Kevin stares at her. Then he smiles.

"Jordan," he says her name.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"And who's this?" Kevin points to Claus.

My eyes grow wide.

Jordan turns so Kevin can see Claus's face. "It's Claus. Your nephew, remember?"

Kevin's eyebrows crease. "My nephew?"

"Yes."

"But - "

He stops as his eyes meet mine. My heart jumps to my throat. They grow wide at first, then they narrow with a flicker of unmistakable rage.

I swallow.

Shit. He remembers.

He gets off the bed. Wires come off and machines beep.

"Kevin!" Jordan shouts.

Kevin clutches the front of my shirt. "You! What did you do to my sister?"

I lift my hands. "Calm down, Kevin. We can talk about this calmly, like grown men."

He pushes me against the wall. "What did you do to my sister?!?"

"Kevin, stop!" Jordan pleads with him. "It was six years ago."

Kevin turns to her. "Six years?"

Maybe that wasn't the best thing for Jordan to say.

"You had an accident six years ago. Do you remember?"

He lets go of my shirt and places his hands over his head as he steps back. He groans.

I glance at Jordan. "Maybe it's too soon for him to remember."

"I remember," Kevin says. His arms fall to his side. "I remember the snow coming down and the tires screeching and then... nothing."

"Yes, you were in an accident," Jordan says. "But you're fine now. You've been doing well these past five years."

Kevin shakes his head as he tries to claw at it. "I can't remember anything after that. I can't."

A nurse barges in through the door. She gasps when she sees Kevin out of bed. She rushes back out.

"Doctor!" I hear her scream out in the hall.

"It's okay," I tell Kevin as I step forward. "You don't have to remember anything now. I'm sure it - "

"You!" He glares at me. "This is all your fault."

He clutches my shirt again and pins my body against the wall even as he pins my gaze with his icy glare.

"I knew you couldn't keep your hands off women, but why did it have to be my sister?"

He wraps his hands around my neck.

"Kevin!" Jordan shouts.

The sound of her voice wakes Claus up. He stares in my direction with surprised eyes.

I take Kevin's hands off me and pin his arms behind his back.

"Lance!" Jordan shouts my name this time.

"Now, Kevin," I whisper in his ear. "Let's calm down, okay? There's a child in the room."

The door opens again and a doctor enters the room along with a few orderlies. They take Kevin from me and bring him to the bed.

"Just calm down, Mr. Watts," the doctor says. "We need you to calm down."

He continues to glare at me. "I can't calm down with him here. Get him out of my sight!"

The doctor turns to me.

Claus starts to cry.

Jordan pulls me out of the room. Once we're outside, she lets go of my arm and tries to comfort an upset Claus.

"Just leave," she tells me. "Please."

I stretch out my arms. "Let me bring Claus home. Kevin doesn't even remember him."

"Just go away!" Jordan shouts at me.

"But - "

My eyes grow wide as she removes her ring. She hands it to me.

"I thought we could be a family, Lance, but we can't," she says as tears start to streak down her cheeks. "We can't."

Jordan runs down the corridor. I stare at the diamond ring in my hand.

No. This isn't a nightmare. This is reality. What Jordan, Claus and I had - that was a dream. A perfect dream.

And now it's gone.

~

"I should have known it was too good to be true," I tell Michael.

I'm back in my office, drinking brandy as I sit on the couch. Michael sits beside me.

He sighs. "Who would have thought that of all the women in the world you could fall for, it would be Kevin's sister? Maybe the world is cruel."

"It is," I agree as I take another sip from my glass.

"So, Kevin had amnesia?"

I nod.

"And now he remembers everything, including the fact that you got his beloved sister pregnant?"

"Exactly." I take another sip. "And he wants to kill me."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

I say nothing.

For a moment, Michael, too, falls silent. Then he draws a deep breath.

"I have a confession to make," he says.

"Go on. Now's not the time for any more secrets."

"I've known about Jordan," he confesses.

My eyes grow wide.

"I've known that she's Kevin sister. I knew she was pregnant."

I set my glass down and turn to him. "You knew?"

"I ran into her at the hospital six years ago. That was around the time Kevin had his accident, I believe."

My jaw clenches. I grab the front of his coat.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Jordan asked me not to," Michael answers.

My hands drop.

He smoothens the front of his coat. "At first, I couldn't understand why, but I connected the dots. Kevin was in the hospital. She didn't want you to see him. You must have done something, and the look in her eyes told me what it was. Plus, she wasn't drinking coffee even though she probably should have been."

I run my hands through my hair in frustration.

"She was pregnant. Kevin found out you were the father and tried to confront you, got in an accident instead. Jordan must have felt really bad."

"She still does," I say. "She still feels guilty. That's why she told me to leave. That's why she chose Kevin over me."

"And you feel guilty, too. That's why you left." Michael sighs. "Guilt. It's a powerful thing. Almost as powerful as hope or love."

I don't comment.

He places his hands on his knees. "So, what are you going to do now, Lance? Are you just going to let them go?"

I shrug and stand up. "I need to think. Everything's a mess right now."

"Well, think fast," Michael tells me. "It's almost Christmas. If there's a time that any wrong can be forgiven, that mistakes can be made right, that miracles can happen, it's Christmastime."

I shake my head. "I don't care about Christmas anymore."

It's ruined now. Without Jordan and Claus, it holds no meaning.

Michael sighs. "Well, I do, so I'll leave now."

He stands up.

"I'd say Merry Christmas, but..."

"Don't," I warn him.

He nods and leaves the office.

I walk to the window and gaze at the city sparkling with lights, but I don't feel any cheer. In fact, I suddenly feel alone.

Once again, I'm spending Christmas alone.