Chapter Six

Jordan

I grip the handle of the shovel with both hands and scrape the layer of cold, white snow off the pavement. Then I throw it into the heap I've made, which is now over two feet tall.

That should be good enough.

I lean on the shovel as I catch my breath. The air from my mouth leaves in an icy mist.

Shoveling is one of the chores I hate the most. I'd rather sweep leaves or chop firewood.

There's nothing I can do about it, though. Living in the part of the country means a snow shovel is a must, and not having a man in the house means I have to do the shoveling myself.

I glance at the front door.

Not having a man in the house, huh?

Well, it's just Claus and me. And this year, it will be just the two of us for Christmas. Again.

I gaze up at the clear gray sky and sigh.

I don't mind the two of us part. I used to, but not anymore. I just wish this Christmas can be better than last year. I wish we can put up a tree, a real tree. I wish I can manage to hide the presents where Claus can't find them and tear them open. I wish I can put up Christmas decorations and not have Claus take them down before Christmas. I wish we can have a quiet Christmas dinner together even though we never have a quiet dinner any other night of the year. I wish I can have more time to bake, not just for me and Claus, but for other people so I can earn a bit of money.

I pull at the neckline of my shawl as I let my eyes wander over the path I've just cleared.

I guess I just wish I can spend Christmas the way I used to.

I miss my old life, but more than that, I miss my old Christmases.

But hey, I'm twenty-six now and too old for Santa to grant my wishes.

I drag my shovel back to the house but stop when I hear footsteps behind me. Slowly, I turn. My eyes grow wide as they rest on a man with dark hair and broad shoulders. A green scarf coils around his neck, the ends disappearing beneath his black coat. As a breeze blows, some tendrils of his hair fall over his ebony eyes. They stare straight at me, seemingly barging straight into my soul like a snow plow.

Eyes that know exactly what they want.

Just like before.

"Hello, Jordan."

Lance says my name in that crisp voice of his and my heart stops. His thin lips curve into that devilish grin and winter leaves my body.

He walks towards me in confident strides while I stand still, frozen in place. He stops right in front of me.

"We've met. Remember?"

My eyebrows arch beneath my bonnet.

We've met? Hell, we've done much more than that.

Yes. Unfortunately, I remember.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "What are you doing here, Lance?"

His grin widens. "So you do remember."

I lift the shovel in my hands. "I remember how I didn't get to slap you last time."

"Whoa." He lifts his hands. "Easy. You could kill someone with that."

"That's actually not a bad idea."

Lance chuckles. "Surely you're not still mad at me? After all, no harm came out of our little fun, right?"

Yeah, right.

He touches his chin. "Besides, if I remember correctly, you were the one who asked me to... deliver."

I point the shovel at him. "Fuck you."

He takes a step back but gives another chuckle. "Yup. Those were your final words to me, I believe."

I don't answer.

"Put that thing down," Lance says. "You're naughty. Not a criminal."

I shrug. "How would you know? A lot has changed."

"Not you. You're still as lovely as ever."

In spite of myself, I blush at the compliment.

"And as wonderfully responsive."

I scowl and step forward. "Get off of my property."

"Your property?" Lance steps to the side and looks around. "You live here?"

"Yes," I answer. "I don't know why you're here all of a sudden, but - "

"Would you like to know?"

He grabs a handful of snow from the heap. It crumbles between his gloved fingers.

Would I? The curious part of me says yes. The cautious part just wants to get rid of him as soon as possible.

If there's anything I learned from meeting Lance before, it's that he's a dangerous man, not one to be messed with or one I can hope to win against.

"Ah, you're torn." Lance turns to me. "You're curious, but you're afraid."

I put down the shovel as it grows heavy and narrow my gaze at him.

"Afraid? Of you? Since when have I been afraid of you?"

"That's better." He steps forward. "I like you better when you're being brave."

Damn him and that smug look of his.

"What makes you think you know me?"

"Oh, but I do," Lance answers as he lifts a hand to touch my cheek. "I know more about you than you know about yourself."

I swat his hand away.

Impossible. We've only ever had sex that one time. How can he know so much from that?

And yet he looks so sure.

"Alright, I'll tell you why I'm here." Lance glances behind him. "I live across the street."

"Liar." I glance at the white house. "Only Mrs. Cooper lives there. Are you going to tell me you're her son or something?"

His eyebrows crease. "Does she have a son?"

I frown. "You're not going to trick me this time."

"This time? I don't recall tricking you last time." His eyebrows bunch up even more as he touches his square chin. "Seducing you, yes. Kissing you, yes. Making - "

"You tricked me," I cut him off as I roll my hands into fists at my sides.

"How?"

How? My fists tremble.

You preyed on me, knowing I was alone. And you got me pregnant. That's how.         

He scratches his chin. "In fact, weren't you the one who tricked me by making me believe you were a virgin?"

"I never said I was."

"Right." Lance nods. "You didn't."

I can't believe he brought that up again. But I'm not going to let him turn the tables that quickly.

"And you were completely honest with me, were you?" I stick my shovel in the snow and cross my arms over my chest. "You didn't even tell me you worked in the same building."

"I didn't?"

"Or that you were the head of a huge company."

"It wasn't huge back..." He pauses as his dark eyes narrow. His finger goes up in the air. "Wait. You've been reading about me."

My hands tighten around my elbows.

Fuck. Did I just say that?

"I didn't read about you," I quickly say. "I mean, I didn't mean to."

He leans on the shovel. "Really?"

I roll my eyes.

"Now who's being dishonest?"

I grab the shovel and start walking back to the house.

"Wait." Lance grabs my wrist. "Let's start over, shall we?"

I stop and let out a deep breath.

"I'm Lance Abram," he goes on. "CEO of DevIance."

That I already know.

"I'm a good friend of William Marsh, so I'm staying at his house right now."

My eyebrows rise.

"Well, his parents' house. I'm sure Mrs. Cooper has told you about the Marshes."

"She mentioned them." I turn around slowly. "So you're staying across the street?"

"Just for the holidays."

I nod. "Oh."

That could be a problem. A huge problem.

"And I'm good in bed," Lance adds. "Though you already know that."

I frown.

"Or on a couch."

Once a jerk, always a jerk.

"As for the rest, well, you'll just have to squeeze that information out of me, don't you?"

I bet he used the word 'squeeze' on purpose.

"No, thanks." I turn back to the house. "I think once is more than enough."

"Are you sure?"

It sounds more like a challenge than a question, which I'm sure it is.

"You know you have to try something at least twice to make sure it doesn't work," he says. "Or it does."

"Nope." I shake my head as I start walking. "I'm not falling for your tricks again."

"Are you sure?" He grabs my arm and turns me around to meet his gaze.

My chest stops short a few inches from him. I catch a whiff of his perfume and my breath catches. The glimmer of lust in his eyes sends my heart pounding.

No. Not again.

Lance pulls me closer. The warmth of his breath sends heat coursing through my veins.

His eyelids fall shut as his face descends. My lips part to let out a protest, but no sound comes out.

"Mom?"

Claus's voice calling from inside the house jolts me out of the spell I'm on the verge of falling under.

I turn to the house with wide eyes.

"Mom?" he calls louder.

Lance drops my arm. "'Mom'?"

Oh, shit. Why did Claus have to wake up now?

Then again, if he hadn't, Lance would have kissed me. And I would have let him.

I scratch my head. Why do I always end up in such troublesome situations?

"Mom!" Claus calls impatiently.

"Stay there!" I call out to him. "I'll be there in a minute!"

I begin to run, but Lance grabs my wrist.

I try to pry it away. "Let me go."

"You have a son?" he asks as he looks at the house.

"Yes," I admit quickly.

I just want the conversation to be over so I can get back to Claus before he starts to panic and hurt himself.

"Who's the father?"

Just then, I see Perry's car stop in front of the house. I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Him."

I point to Perry as he comes out of the car.

Lance looks in the direction and frowns.

"Is everything okay here?" Perry asks.

Lance lets go of my hand.

"Yes." I rub my wrist. "Everything's okay. Perry, this is Lance, an old friend. Lance, this is Perry. He's the father of my son."

Both their eyebrows crease. I ignore Lance and grab Perry's arm as I give it a meaningful squeeze.

"That's right," Perry confirms as he picks up his cue. "So I'd appreciate it if you left Jordan and Claus alone."

Thank goodness.

Lance rubs his chin. "I see."

Disappointment clearly shows on his face.

Strangely, it almost makes me feel sorry for him.

Almost.

"Well, goodbye," I tell him as I usher Perry towards the house.

"It was nice meeting you, Jordan," Lance calls after me. "Again."

I roll my eyes. So much for hoping he'd give up.

Then again, if he was that kind of man, he wouldn't be here.

I open the front door. As soon as I step inside, Claus throws his weight at me and I have to step back.

"What took you so long, Mommy?" he complains.

I pat his head. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"Hi, kiddo," Perry greets him.

He waves at Perry, then turns back to me.

"Who was that man?" he asks.

A lump forms in my throat.

I feel Perry's eyes on me as well.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go watch TV for a bit," I suggest.

"I can?" His dark eyes grow wide.

I take his arms off me and give him a pat on the back. "Go before I change my mind."

He runs off to the living room.

"So?" Perry asks as soon as he's gone. "Who was that man?"

I don't answer at once. Instead, I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Let me guess." Perry leans on the counter. "He's Claus's father."

My hand freezes on the door to the fridge.

But of course Perry would guess. He may not be enough of a genius to be a corporate hotshot, but he is a supervisor at the biggest supermarket in town. He interacts with dozens of employees and hundreds of customers every day, and he's good at reading people.

I open the door wider and grab the pitcher of water.

Perry comes closer.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

I fill a glass of water and take a gulp.

"Yes."

"And Claus doesn't know?"

I hold a finger to my lips.

"And you don't want him to."

I drink the rest of the water in the glass and set it down.

"Perry..."

He holds his hand up. "I won't ask you why, and I won't tell you to do what's right. You're old enough and you're Claus's mother, so you get to decide."

"So you'll play along?" I ask him hopefully.

He looks into my eyes. "You know how I feel about you, right, Jordan?"

I look away.

I've known Perry for almost a year now, ever since Trader Joe's opened and I took Claus there for a shopping trip only to end up with him throwing one of his worst ever tantrums. I myself was on the verge of losing it when Perry showed up.

Every now and then, he brings dinner and helps with Claus. He's a good friend, really, he is, except that a few weeks ago, he decided he wanted to be more than just a friend. He asked me out. I still haven't given him an answer.

"That hasn't changed," Perry goes on. "Which means I'm going to take this as an opportunity to change your mind. Do you still want to ask this of me?"

I take a deep breath and nod.

He's making himself sound like the villain here, but I know the truth. I know I'm the one who's being cruel, who's taking advantage of him, but I don't have any other choice. I need time to figure out what to do with Lance now that he's suddenly decided to pop back into my life.

"Okay," Perry says. "I'll play along. After all, you know I can't say no to you, right?"

I give him a sincere smile. "Thank you, Perry."