Chapter Twenty-Six

Jordan

I close my eyes and breathe in the smell of the pines. A soft, icy breeze touches my cheek.

One of my favorite smells in the world.

In the distance, I hear laughter - a little boy's and a grown man's. I open my eyes to see them playing a peek-a-boo among the verdant, bristly boughs.

A smile coats my lips. Warmth erupts in my heart and fills my chest.

At this moment, with the smell of Christmas in the air, with this white and green landscape as the background, at the sight of my two boys - and with this newly purchased diamond ring weighing on my finger - I can say I am truly happy.

In fact, I have never been this happy.

I stare at Lance. I still can't believe he loves me. The father of my amazing child, the man I love, loves me back and wants to marry me.

It might as well be Christmas already.

"Jordan!" Lance's voice breaks into my thoughts. "Which tree do you like?"

I tuck my hands in my pockets and shrug. "Claus gets to choose. It's his first tree, after all."

Lance turns to our son. "Hear that, Claus? We'll get whatever tree you want."

"Yay!" He jumps up and down.

"Just not a very big one," I add. "Or it won't fit in the house."

"Then we'll put it in the other house," he says.

Lance chuckles.

I sigh. I can't believe Claus thinks that house belongs to us, too.

"That's not our house, sweetheart," I tell him.

"But it's Daddy's house," he argues.

"No. It's Daddy's friend's house."

"But I like that house."

"Claus," I warn.

He stops talking and starts running around the tree lot. I do my best to keep up with him. Finally, he stops.

"This one." He points to a Douglas fir that looks over twelve feet tall.

"Nope." I shake my head. "Too big. Try again."

He frowns but runs off.

"How about this one?"

This time it's a white spruce. It's still tall, but not as tall as the other one. Probably about nine feet.

"What do you think?" I ask Lance.

He touches his chin. "It looks pretty, and white spruces make excellent Christmas trees."

"I agree." I nod. "Fine. We'll go with this one."

Claus cheers.

"We have a Christmas tree! We have a Christmas tree!" he chants.

As Lance looks for the seller to pay for the tree, I pull Claus into my arms. He squeals as I whirl him around. Then I set him down and whisper a promise into his ear as we stand in front of our tree.

"This Christmas tree is going to be the best one ever."

~

"There."

I hang the last piece of ornament in the box - a Mrs. Claus with a tray of cookies, one that both Claus and Lance said reminded them of me - on the highest bough I can reach and step back to admire our finished work.

"Now it really looks like a Christmas tree."

It's not a perfectly decorated tree, that's for sure. There's not enough room for a star on top and there are far more ornaments on the lower boughs, the ones Claus could reach, often with two or three of the same kind bunched up on the same branch. Some of the old ornaments are broken - again, Claus's fault because he took them off the tree and then broke them. The tinsel and the lights look a bit crooked, too. Still, right now, I wouldn't exchange this tree for any other in the world.

"It's pretty," Claus agrees with me.

"It is," Lance chimes in. "You chose a good tree, Claus."

Claus beams with pride.

Lance places his arm around me.

"Tell me again why you didn't have a tree before."

"Well, we did," I tell him. But it was a small one that was made of plastic because I couldn't carry a big one."

Lance frowns. "No fun."

"And it lasted only a few days because Claus kept removing the ornaments. They were just too tempting for him. Sometimes he'd grab one and the tree would shake and a bunch of others would fall off and break."

Lance points to the half candy cane hanging on a bough. "Let me guess. That was one of those."

"Yes." I nod. "One of the lucky survivors. After that, I decided not to put up a tree anymore, not until he was older and more... manageable."

"Well, he seems to be managing just fine."

Sure enough, Claus is just sitting in front of the tree, in awe of the colorful ornaments and the bright lights.

Lance kneels beside him. "Which one is your favorite ornament, Claus?"

He touches his chin as he pauses to think.

"The Santa balls," he finally says.

"Yes. Those look fun. But I like the Mrs. Claus best of all."

Lance throws me a knowing glance.

"Well, I like the gingerbread ones," I say.

Lance chuckles. "I should have guessed."

He returns to my side.

"Claus is so amazed by the Christmas tree, isn't he?" I whisper to him. "I'm starting to wonder if I can keep it up all year just to make him sit still."

Lance gives another chuckle. "I'm sure we'll come up with other things to keep him occupied."

We. That one word puts a smile on my face. When you've been an "I" for so long, "we" sounds like heaven.

"I suppose we'll be living in Boston now," I say.

Lance looks at me. "You don't want to?"

"I want to stay in the same place as you, of course," I tell him as I put my hand over his. "But I'm just not sure about living in a big city with a kid. Or maybe it's me who's not used to living in a city anymore. Or maybe this place has just grown on me." I sigh. "But let's not talk about that right now. We can talk about that after Christmas."

He nods. "Okay."

I let out another sigh as I gaze at the tree. "It really is starting to look like Christmas."

"What was your best Christmas?" Lance asks all of a sudden.

I pause to think. "I don't really have a best one. Like I told you, I used to spend Christmas with everyone in the family. We cousins would bake and have snow fights in the yard. There was always more than one turkey. There were heaps of presents under the tree. Those were my favorite Christmases."

"I see."

"And you?"

"Just this one Christmas when my Dad had to stay home because he was sick. Usually he was away during Christmas, working."

"Oh."

"That was the only time he spent Christmas with us, the only time he got to see me open his present. It was a baseball and a baseball mitt."

I touch his cheek. "Well, from now on, you'll be spending Christmas with us. And I have a feeling these Christmases will be my new favorite ones."

"They'll be the best Christmases ever," Lance agrees.

I smile.

He leans forward for a kiss and I close my eyes, but suddenly Claus runs over me and gives me a hug.

I pat his head.

Lance frowns. "We'll have to do something about your timing, buddy."

Claus turns to him with wide eyes. "My what?"

Lance grabs him and starts tickling him. Squeals fill the living room.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

"Maybe that's Audrey with the invitation to her Christmas party," I tell Lance.

He's not listening, though. He's too busy getting revenge on his son for not letting him kiss me.

I walk to the door and turn the knob with a smile already on my face. That smile vanishes, though, when I see who's standing on the doormat.

Not Audrey or anyone I'm expecting.

In fact, he's the last person I expected to see.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Kevin?"