Las Vegas
After Mel’s birthday, we had an incident. It was raw, borderline illegal, and it’s seared into my memory like a scarlet letter.
“Sorry, Princess, that took longer than I thought,” I said as I grabbed some water and took a seat.
“No problem. Were you stuck on a call?”
Jesus, what do I have to do to get her to stop being so fucking nice?
“No, I was watching porn and jerking off.”
Her eyes dropped to my hands as desire flared in her irises. I couldn’t help smirking. It wasn’t my intention to tell her what I’d done, even though it wasn’t porn but mental images of her riding my cock. In a way, I’m glad I told her; I feel more like myself when I’m not wasting time sugarcoating shit for people.
“Good for you. Feel better?” She was pissed, and it worked in my favor. If I could make her hate me, this ridiculous attraction I had with her would have to end.
“It helped to blow off some steam, but what I really need is a willing fuck. How about you, Princess? Want to help me out?” I couldn’t believe I actually said that to her.
“What the hell, Sawyer? What’s wrong with you?!”
“Oh, come on, why are you acting all high and mighty? It’s not as if you haven’t ridden the musician train before. And it’s not like my brother is giving you any. Let’s work out our frustrations together. I promise you’ll feel better.” Her anger pushed me forward. She’s even hotter when she’s fired up, and if the underlying chemistry between us hadn’t been sparking, if desire wasn’t simmering just under her surface, I would have backed off. Instead, I moved closer and put my hand on her thigh and soaked in the high of being that close to her.
“Are you on drugs again?” she demanded, practically breathing fire.
“No, I’m just an asshole who wants what he can’t have.”
Fear crept into her expression and, for a split second, I thought it was because she was afraid to want me. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
I pulled her close, wrapping my arm around her waist. “What do you think it means, Princess? It means I want to fuck you.” The instant the words were said, I knew I’d crossed a line I could never uncross.
Everything else happened in a split second. I quickly realized she wasn’t afraid of her feelings for me at all. Princess was afraid of me, and she reacted accordingly. Her open palm met my cheek with surprising force. Stunned, she pulled away and shook out her hand. As the burn from the well-deserved hit set in, I reached for my cheek. Mel watched as she continued backing away fearfully. I’d never seen her so angry, and I’d never felt so lost, defeated, and ashamed.
“You love him.” The words fell from my mouth unbidden, but they were the absolute truth between us, one I’d been too blind to fully consider.
“What? No.” She denied it, but her love for Noah shone in those gorgeous hazel eyes of hers.
“I was testing you, trying to gauge your feelings for him. I had to know if you could be swayed back to your old ways.” The lie fell from my lips naturally. She could easily see through me, but the goodness in her wavered. I could tell she wanted to believe me. If I were honorable, I’d warn her away from me before I cross another boundary. Unfortunately for her, I’d never been honorable.
“I like him, a lot. I’m not that girl anymore, Sawyer, and you testing me or whatever the fuck it was you just did is not part of my job description. You don’t get to talk to me like that, and if it ever happens again, I’m going straight to the label. Sexual harassment is real, Sawyer, and you are an asshole. We’re done for today.”
Once she stormed off and slammed the door behind her, I screamed a slew of profanities, and then I did something I hadn’t since the Marilyn debacle—I went to my room and cried.
This all happened two weeks ago, and my actions were completely unforgivable. I fell into a rabbit hole of one-sided affection, and it’s taking everything I am to crawl out of it. We haven’t spoken more than a couple of words when greeting one another. Our morning chats no longer exist, but it’s for the best. I’m surprised she hasn’t gone to Noah or the label. I basically sexually assaulted her and, at the very least, it was harassment. I still can’t shake the look of shock and devastation on her face. Each day I consider telling the label all of it. At this point, calling off the tour might be a blessing. It would keep Mel comfortable, keep me from doing anything else self-destructive and hurtful, and it would make Noah happy.
The worst part of all has been watching from the sidelines as she’s pushed Noah away the past two weeks. First, she played sick, then she blamed her cycle, but never once did she blame me. I want to know why.
“Hey, Sawyer, do you have a minute?” Noah pokes his head into my room and looks like a wounded puppy.
“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”
Stepping inside, he closes the door behind him. “We get into Vegas tomorrow, and I wanted to make this trip special for Mel. Finally, you know …”
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the fact Noah is a grown man and still blushes when he talks about sex. “What’s the problem? You love her, I’m pretty sure she loves you, and money isn’t an issue, so what gives?”
“Haven’t you noticed how different she’s been since her birthday? She’s pulling away from me, and I don’t know why or how to fix it. Or if I even should. Maybe she’s second-guessing this whole thing.”
“Hey,” I say, putting my guitar to the side and throwing an arm over his shoulder, “talk to her. Better yet, surprise her with an epically romantic trip. We already know she doesn’t like her birthday, maybe this is normal, how she comes back from it.”
“True, but I feel like it’s more than that.”
If he only knew.
“I’m sure it’s not you. It’s bad timing. Between her birthday, being sick, and shark week, it’s no wonder she’s off. Be happy she’s not shy about things or you’d really have something to worry about.”
He nods. “Yeah, all of that is true.”
“Get her some flowers, ask her if she feels up to your plans, give her options. Women appreciate options, right?”
“I’m pretty sure most people do.”
“Belle says Mel loves Vegas. I’m sure you guys will have a blast.”
“When did you talk to Belle?” he asks, surprised.
“We text almost every day. I guess we’re becoming friends.”
Noah’s smile only makes me feel worse. He wouldn’t be smiling if he knew what I did to his girl.
“That’s good, Sawyer. We need more friends, especially you. There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
“Shoot.”
“This weekend I was planning to spend time with Mel, but I can push it to Thanksgiving if you want me to. I know this is a rough weekend for you.”
This is why I do things for Noah; he always considers my feelings. “Absolutely not. I’ve already got alcohol and women in my future to ease the pain. Maybe a strip club or two. It’s handled. I’ll see J in a week. It’s all good, Noah.”
“If you change your mind …”
“I won’t. I’m not a kid anymore. It’s a rough day, but that’s all it is. Spending it with J is a comfort. A reminder that we made it, that he made it.”
His eyes soften as he leans back against the wall. “He only made it because of you.”
Laughing, I lean back next to him. “I’m pretty sure the EMTs and doctors had a lot more to do with it than I did.”
“Bullshit. You controlled the bleeding. You talked him through it. You found him in the first fucking place and stumbled through the carnage to get to him. Here we are, over twenty years later, and it still impacts you in more ways than you’re willing to admit. I know you can be alone, and it will just be a bad day, but you need to know I’m here. We’re all here, and you don’t ever have to do anything alone.”
His emphatic pleas hit me deep in the place where I’m already feeling vulnerable because of what an asshole I was to Mel. “Thanks, Noah.”
He jumps off the bed and pulls me with him. “Time to hug it out.”
Noah pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. At first I groan because that’s what brothers do, but within seconds I’m hugging him back.
“Let’s squash everything else, Sawyer. Nothing is more important to me than my relationship with you, and all this fighting and shit is for the birds. We’re fucking Westons, we’re better than this.”
“Deal. Love you, big brother.”
“Love you too.”
The morning we pull into Vegas, I wake up to a new Facebook notification from Noah. It’s a rare occasion when Noah is awake before me, but last night I stayed up working on a new song and didn’t crash until the early morning hours.
#MCW – Man Crush Whatever goes to my brother Sawyer. Most people don’t know him well, but that’s because he wants it that way. He is my best friend, my favorite person, and everything I strive to be. Some people think he’s abrupt, but his friends know the truth. Even though I’m the big brother in this family, there will never be a time when I don’t look up to him, and today is no different. I love you, little brother. Let’s rock Vegas!
Only Noah would vaguebook a post like this. I think it accomplished what it was supposed to; I woke up laughing because the comments are hilarious.
Anna Smith – MCW – Man Crush Weston, Man Candy Weston, your fans can have those for free if they don’t already.
Darren Miller – More like My Corny Weston. Really, Noah? Isn’t it a little early to be kissing Sawyer’s ass? What did you do, eat the last Pop-Tart?
Noah Weston – Shh, bring me your emergency stash and he’ll never know.
Wyatt Smith – Anna Smith, the only initials you need to concern yourself with are My Cutie Wyatt.
Anna Smith – Aww, babe, you need to reverse them. WCM – Wyatt’s Cock is Mine
Rory Weston – Anna! You just became my WCM – Woman Crush Monday – get it, girl!
Wyatt Smith – Back off, Rory, she’s mine, and I don’t share. P.S. It’s not Monday
Darren Miller – Dude, Wyatt, sister boundaries!
Noah Weston – What he said. Boundaries, Wyatt!
Wyatt Smith – Whatever, dudes, I’m married. Sister boundaries are fully in place and protected.
Rory Weston – She’ll still be my WCM on Monday, so deal, Wyatt.
Anna Smith – Rory, I actually think it’s supposed to be WCW.
Rory Weston – Whatever, we’ll break the mold with WCM and become new trendsetters.
Darren Miller – There you go, Rory, be the change you want to see in the world and break the internet while you’re at it. Anna would be an awesome WCW – Woman Crush Whatever
Jordan Weston – MCW could be My Cousin Weston. I’m wounded. Where’s the love, Noah?
Diane Weston-Jackson – MCW – Many Cocky Westons seems more appropriate for this post. Or maybe My Cocky Westons?
Karen Weston – Many Cocky Westons! We could print shirts with that for our family photos. It would be a hoot. Love you guys!
Sawyer Weston – OMG, Mom, that would be epic! Thanks for the post, Noah, you’re my BBB4Life.
Rory Weston – Dammit, Sawyer, English for those not in on the joke. What’s a BBB?
Sawyer Weston – Sorry, Rory. Best friend, Brother, and Bastard.
Rory Weston – Thanks. Totally appropriate. Gotta go to class. Love you guys!
“Come in,” I call out when there’s a knock on my door.
“Good, you’re up. Let’s go get breakfast, and you can help me out with something.”
“Sure, I could eat. Give me about fifteen minutes to take a quick shower. Nice post, by the way.”
Flashing me a goofy smile, he says, “I know, it’s what I do, and it’s how I feel. Now hurry up. I’m hungry.”
Noah is waiting outside for me in the SUV once I’m ready.
“About time,” he grumbles.
“Well, I could have skipped brushing my teeth …”
“Thank God you didn’t take it to that extreme. Look, we might have an issue.” Noah fidgets as Mac puts the car in drive, his gaze nervously darting between Mac and me.
“What kind of issue?”
“Sara—”
“What about her?” Instantly, I’m on edge. I don’t need this shit, especially not today.
“It’s probably nothing, but I got a message on Facebook after my post this morning from one of our mutual friends. She said she knew what went down with Sara and me, and she thought I should know Sara had been bragging about having tickets to one of the Vegas shows.”
“Mac, what do you think about this?” I ask, deferring to his expertise.
“I’m not sure. It could just be talk, but even if she has tickets, they don’t grant her access to Noah. It’s been a few years now, guys. I’m not sure you should be alarmed just yet.”
“Have you told Mel?”
“No. Mel doesn’t know anything about Sara at all.”
“Maybe it’s time the two of you have a conversation. We don’t know what Sara is up to.”
Noah sighs as Mac pulls up to a deserted looking diner off the strip.
“Come on, you two, let’s figure this out inside. I hear some biscuits and gravy calling my name.”
Mac knows his breakfast, and if he brought us here, it’s because he knows it’s good. The waitress runs up to us and pulls Mac into a hug.
“Malcolm Jones! It’s about time you brought your fine self back into town!”
“You know I can’t pass up your food, Shelia.”
“That’s not all you didn’t use to be able to pass up,” she teases, and Noah and I laugh. It’s fun when we get a sneak peek into Mac’s world pre-Bastards. “Are these your friends?” she asks, pulling out of his hug.
“My bosses, Noah and Sawyer Weston.”
She eyes us both up as we shake hands. “We’re his friends, too, even though he won’t tell anyone that when he’s on the clock,” I grumble, and she laughs.
“That sounds like Malcolm. Come on, let’s get you settled and get some food in you before the lunch rush hits.”
After ordering Shelia disappears into the kitchen and leaves us with a carafe of perfectly-brewed coffee. Mac monitors my caffeine intake, and once I’ve poured my second cup, he opens a dialogue.
“Sawyer, I know you’re worried, and you have a right to be, but we’re equipped for this. You pay for the best security money can buy. I’ve got a gun, and I’m not afraid to use it if I have to. Sara is a nuisance, but we’ll handle it should she become a threat again. All of this is speculation right now.”
Noah’s shoulders relax briefly until Mac turns his attention to him, then he tenses again. “In the event this becomes more than we want, I’ve got a few rules. The sooner you tell Amelia the better. It can hold until Thanksgiving if it needs to. If Sara is going to do something, she’s likely going to wait until you’re back on familiar territory. Keep your phone on and charged at all times, and don’t go anywhere without Ryan, myself, or one of the rest of the crew. I’m going to bring more security in on standby in case we need them.”
“You all look so serious. Eat up. There’s nothing that some good food can’t make better.” Sheila places our food in front of us, and there’s so much of it I’m not sure where to start.
“This looks incredible.”
“Thanks, baby,” she says, patting my arm.
“It smells amazing,” Noah adds, reaching for a fork.
Mac takes a bite and groans appreciatively, winking at her after he swallows. “Best damn thing I’ve put in my mouth in months.”
With a lascivious gaze, her eyes roam his body before meeting his again. “Stick around this time. I’ll fill your mouth with so much goodness you won’t know what hit you.”
Mac watches her ass sashay away before turning his attention back to his food.
“Ex-girlfriend?” Noah asks.
“Nah, Sheila is a good friend, but it’s never been like that between us.”
“Too bad, she’s sexy,” Noah replies.
“It runs in the family, so is her brother. He’s my ex.”
“Oh … well … yeah, that could get uncomfortable. Being bi is one thing. Banging your ex-boyfriend’s sister is another. Unless he was okay with it, of course.”
“He wouldn’t be, and that’s why it will never happen,” Mac states firmly.
We don’t make it our business to know our employees’ sexual orientations. The only thing we care about is their job performance. But one night, about seven years ago, we took Mac out for his birthday and got him drunk. He and Jordan hit it off, and they had a short-term fling. After one drunken hook-up he confessed what happened and tried to resign. Once he realized that wasn’t happening, we gave him and J our blessings to hook up if that’s what they wanted. J tried to tell Mac it was no big deal, but Mac is a stand-up guy and wanted it all out in the open.
“Are you going to tell Mel now?” I ask.
“No, I’m not going to tell her until we’re home. She’s already acting strange enough. Depending on how our talk goes today, it might be pointless to worry her.”
“What’s your plan for today?”
“On the way back to the bus we’re going to stop for flowers, and then you’re going to Darren’s bus while I talk to her about this weekend.”
“No problem, but don’t take too long. I want to get my things and head to the hotel. I’ve got a night of sin and damnation in front of me, and I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
Mac laughs, and Noah rolls his eyes. The reality is, I’m just hoping to get drunk and maybe get laid if I can make it out of my room.
After breakfast, Noah goes into a flower shop in the same strip mall and comes out with a huge vase of roses. He’s so nervous it’s almost funny. When we get back to the bus, Mac gets out of the SUV, and I turn to Noah.
“She’s going to love the flowers, and she’s going to be excited you want to spend time with her tonight. Don’t be nervous, just be you.”
“Thanks, Sawyer.”
“You’re welcome. In case you’re planning more anticipation, stop. She wants you, so man up.”
“And there’s the Sawyer we know and love.”
“You know it. Good luck, Romeo,” I say as I ruffle his hair on the way out of the truck.