Best Friends
Even after the great morning we had, Noah and I got into it before parting ways. Mel and Noah were all over each other when we went to tell them the rooms were ready. I’m getting used to it and even made a joke, but Noah went off anyway.
He’s understandably stressed about this potential Sara shit, but he’s the one who wanted to call a truce in the first place. I think I need to stay far away when it comes to him and Mel. Not just for my own well-being but also for Noah’s. He knows I have feelings for her; it’s no wonder he’s being protective.
“What are we doing tonight, Sawyer?” Darren asks once Mac has cleared our rooms. We have adjoining ones this time, and if it weren’t for him being hooked on Belle, we could have some fun.
“Drinking, and whatever else comes up. What time are you getting your freak on with Belle?”
“Early, around seven. She has to work, and she said she didn’t want to keep me away from the Vegas nightlife.”
I pour us both a whiskey and pass him one. “Sounds to me like she wants to make sure you’re satisfied before going out and less likely to hit it with someone else.”
He spins his cup in a circle on the table. “You know I wouldn’t do that.”
With a raised brow, I reply, “Wouldn’t you? Let me rephrase that. Why couldn’t you? Have you discussed being monogamous? A few days ago, you didn’t even know how to ask her to the Thanksgiving show.”
“Fuck you,” he says, slamming his shot down in one gulp. As soon as his cup hits the table, I’m pouring him a refill.
“Just calling it like I see it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Belle, and I think the two of you could be good together. But seriously, Darren, how do you know she’s not banging some other dude if you two haven’t had the talk?
“She’s not. Well … she could be, but I’d know. Belle is honest as fuck. If she were having sex with someone else, she’d say so.”
“If you’re sure,” I answer with a shrug.
“How about you? What’s going on with you and Mel? Noah seemed pretty pissed this morning. I can’t believe he’s still mad about the drug stuff.”
After downing my drink and pouring another, I meet his eyes. “He’s not, he believes me about the drugs. He’s pissed because I told him I have feelings for Mel and he’s afraid I’m going to act on them.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I thought things were fine and they are. It’s just some lingering jealousy that throws him off, and I can’t blame him. He’s got a good thing going, plus … Sara might be back in the picture. Rumor has it she has tickets to one of the shows here.”
“Fuck. Poor Noah.”
“Yup.”
We drift into an uncomfortable silence at the idea of Sara being an issue again when Darren finally changes the subject.
“Show me that song you were working on the other day. Do you have it with you? Might as well get creative until we go out later.”
“Yeah, sure. It’s not a hard and fast song. This one would fall in line with the acoustic stuff we have going on now. Not like it matters.”
“Of course it matters, asshole. We’re not done making music, and I don’t care what Noah and Wyatt think they know now, they’re going to want to tour again eventually.”
“Wyatt maybe, Noah … I’m not so sure,” I say, handing him the new song.
Falling so fast
You turned your back on me
Down the rabbit hole
I landed
Screaming silently
Unworthy and broken
Lying crumpled on the ground
Defeated and hopeless
Jesus, please, take me now
Unworthy
Broken
My pain means nothing to you
Your shadow has faded
Your love, disintegrated
You don’t care
And that’s fine
My tears will stop in time
Fell down so fast
My heart, shattered like glass
I’m dead without you
But you don’t care anymore
When Darren finishes reading, he looks up at me. Shaking his head, he places the music on the table. He reaches for the bottle, refills our drinks, and takes a sip of his before leaning back in his chair and locking his eyes on mine.
“There is nothing I want more than for you to be happy. For the past couple of months, I’ve been wishing like crazy you would fight for her.”
“Darren,” I grumble, and he holds his hand up to stop me from going any further.
“Listen, please. Amelia Greyson is the best thing to ever happen to Noah, and I want them to have a lifetime of happiness. They deserve it, and maybe someday they’ll realize it and have it. You are my very best friend, and I want you to be happy too.”
He pauses and finishes his drink. “I think you could be the best version of yourself with her. But you’re not ready for that kind of love yet, Sawyer. When you are, one day, when you least expect it, I know without a doubt it’s going to find you.”
Darren stands and wanders over to the window, looking out at the strip. When he turns back toward me, it’s with a determination I haven’t seen in a while. “All of this emotional baggage you’re carrying, your feelings for Mel, your anger at Noah, hell … even the anniversary lingering over your head … it’s inspiring the fuck out of you.”
He picks up the music and waves it in my face. “This right here … Fuck, man, this is pure musical genius. This is Sawyer fucking Weston at his core. Use those feelings, that pain and anger, and light the musical world on fire, Sawyer! You’ve got a God-given talent, a gift people would damn near kill for, and I cannot wait to see where it is going to take you in life.”
As Darren finishes his rant, someone knocks on the door. He walks to the adjoining doors and looks at me once again. “You’re going to want to answer that. I’ll be in my room if you want to hang out later, but otherwise, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
What in the world was that all about? I’m still stuck on him saying I’m not ready for love as I go to open the door. I mean, I’m not sure I am, but he was kind of an unsupportive dick about it. Just as I’m about to open the door, someone knocks again. I fling it open, getting ready to go off, when I see three of my favorite people: Wyatt, Anna, and Jordan.
All the drinks Darren and I just had have kicked in, and my emotions are soaring as I pull Jordan in for a hug. “Fuck, J, I’m so glad to see you.”
Anna and Wyatt exchange knowing glances, and when I release J, I pull them both in for a group hug. “Thank you. I don’t know how you did this, but thank you.”
“It was all Wyatt,” Anna says with a proud smile.
“It was nothing. I made a few calls and picked them both up at the airport at the same time. No big deal.”
He’s wrong, it’s a big deal. “You sly fucker. Does everyone know?”
“Just Darren,” Wyatt says. “He helped me pull it all together last minute.”
“Noah doesn’t know?” I’m shocked Wyatt wouldn’t tell him.
Wyatt shakes his head. “Nah, he’s got his own shit going on, and I didn’t want him to miss out on his weekend either.”
My eyes lock on his. “He wouldn’t have, they need this time together. I’d never interrupt them.”
Nodding, he smiles. “I know, Sawyer.”
Anna and J knock on Darren’s door and go inside without waiting for an answer, giving the two of us a minute.
“Look, Wyatt, I know we haven’t talked about this, and I’m sure you and Noah have because he needs someone to vent to when it can’t be me. Whatever I’m going through right now is on me. Mel makes Noah happy, and that makes me happy.”
“We’re all brothers, Sawyer, and I’m not taking any sides. Thank you for saying that, but you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I was there that night … fuck, we all were, and no one was oblivious to the way Mel affected you when you met. Hell, the sexual tension between you two took over the room at one point.”
“You’re crazy.”
With a raised brow, he replies, “Dude, stop. Some things are just facts, and the truth is, when you took your shirt off she looked like it took every ounce of her self-control not to lick the sweat from your abs. Maybe I’m the only other person who noticed, but the fact of the matter still remains there was something between you guys.”
Leaning back in my chair with a sigh, I pour another drink. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because, contrary to what everyone thinks, I’m not automatically on Noah’s side in all things. Regardless of how you both feel, she picked him, and I guess that’s where I’m at in this. I’m not on your side or his side, I’m on her side.”
Wyatt’s words resonate deep within, and my respect for him just grew even more. Princess should be the only person who matters in this situation. This pissing match between Noah and me stops now.
“Thanks, man, you just put a new perspective on this I hadn’t considered.”
“No problem, and before I take my wife back to my room and ravish her until morning, there’s one more thing I want to apologize for.”
“What in the world could you possibly need to apologize for? You just gave me one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. Seriously, Wy, having J here tonight means more to me than you can imagine.”
My eyes glaze over, but fucking hell, there’s no way I’m going to cry, not now.
“When I married Anna, I didn’t think about how it would impact the band. I never thought about retiring at all until after I proposed. Even then, it was kind of this fleeting thing that would just randomly come and go.” He pauses, his expression riddled with guilt.
“Something happened after we said our vows. I realized there was no way I could give her the full commitment of a marriage if I was going to be traveling for the next who-knows-how-many years. My wife deserves the world, and if I can’t give her that, I can at least give her me. She’s been my rock for ten years through all of this, and I owe her. Now that her career is taking off, it’s my turn to be her rock.”
“Bethie married the right man, Wyatt. My best friend chose well picking my other best friend.” He laughs at my ridiculous reply. “We knew it was going to end someday. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. Noah is taking all the blame from you for this, but if I hadn’t gotten married, I don’t think it would have lit that fire under him to quit. At least, not so soon. I should have manned up and told you what I was thinking and feeling. Instead, Noah took it upon himself to open the door, and I gladly followed him.”
“You guys have the right to live your lives and want more for yourselves than this band. My failure to plan for the future isn’t your problem or Noah’s, it’s mine. If anything, the past year has given me a lot to think about.”
The rest of them come back in, and Anna perches herself on Wyatt’s lap. “Have you come to any conclusions?” he asks.
“Yeah, I have. I’m going to take a year and regroup. Enjoy life. Spend time with my nieces and my family. Maybe take Rory on a vacation and get to know her better. She’s always been Noah’s shadow, and I’ve been Diane’s, it’s time to change that. Afterward, we’ll see. Anything can happen, except a solo career. No matter what you all think, that is not in the cards for me.”
“Sounds like a good plan, Sawyer. I’m proud of you,” Anna says before kissing me on the cheek.
“Well, I’ve got a Skype hook-up happening soon, I’m out,” Darren says before leaving, and Wyatt takes that as his cue.
“We’ve got lost time to make up for, so we’re off to …”
Wyatt is trying to be a gentleman, but Anna doesn’t care. “Fuck like rabbits is what he’s getting at. See you guys later!”
Once they’re gone, and it’s just J and me, I’m filled with peace.
I turn my focus on him. “I’m so glad you came. How long are you staying?”
“Not long, I have to get back soon. My plane leaves at five in the morning.”
Disappointment floods through me. “Oh, why so soon?”
“The bar is booked for a private event tomorrow. I just hired a new girl, but she isn’t starting until the end of next week. The night of your show, in fact. We’re short staffed, so I don’t have a choice.”
“I thought the bar was doing well. Why don’t you hire more people? If money is an issue—”
The dirty look he flashes me shuts me up quickly. “I don’t need your money. The bar is doing great, better than ever, actually. You know I hate people and paperwork. I need a new bar manager, but I’d rather work myself to the bone than go through the paces with someone else.”
“It will only get worse the longer you put it off, but it’s your bar and your call. What do you want to do while you’re here?”
“Get drunk and pass out.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
A few hours later, we’re both drunk as can be. Room service just delivered a ton of food, and the kid was on cloud nine. I guess Noah gave him tickets to the show earlier and he can’t wait to come. Not to be fully outdone by Noah once again, I tipped him a couple hundred bucks. It may not be highly-coveted concert tickets, but it’s at least enough for him to take his date to a nice dinner.
After closing the door behind the guy, J’s eyes are still locked where he was. “Earth to Jordan. You know he’s gone, right?”
Jordan laughs and plucks a fry from one of the plates. “Yes, I’m not that drunk, but he was hot.”
“Eh, he was all right.”
I learned long ago to try to appreciate good-looking men so I could be J’s wingman and shit wouldn’t be weird.
“He was better than all right. You need to get your eyes examined.”
“My eyes are just fine, asshole. He was too damn young.”
Smirking, his eyes meet mine. “The young ones are fun. Besides, he was probably only five years younger than us, old man. If he were a girl, you’d have been fine with it.”
“Not these days. I’m in a serious slump, but oddly enough, I’m okay with it. The girls this time around seem so much younger.”
“Maybe you’re finally feeling your age?”
“Definitely feeling my age.”
A silence settles between us as we eat, and he pours more shots when we finish. “To my family, may they rest in peace far away from my asshole father. Hopefully, he’s burning in eternal damnation.”
“You want to talk about it, J?”
“I just wish Mom had put Carly in the closet with me.”
Aunt Carol was trying to escape Jordan’s room to hide Carly when her husband caught up with her. The police figured she was trying to hide each kid in a different room to better their odds of staying alive before the police came.
“She was trying to keep you both safe.”
Now crying, he looks up at me. “I know, but why was I the only lucky one? Some days it’s so fucking hard, Sawyer.”
This is why we needed to be together tonight. I’m the only person in the family who has the slightest idea what it was like inside their house that day.
“You were meant to be our brother, J. That’s the only reason I’ve got,” I answer, finally letting my tears spill over as I pull him into a hug.
After we’re both cried out, we pass out for a few hours until Jordan’s alarm goes off. I ride with Mac to drop him off at the airport with promises to visit him for a few days when we get home next week.
This weekend sucks every year, and it probably will for the rest of our lives. At least with the dawn of a new day I feel a bit lighter. Too bad the feeling couldn’t last.