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When we got off the bus, Mel and I had a heated discussion about kids. She doesn’t seem to want any, and that’s really fucking with my head, so I decided to take a walk on the beach. Noah and I both love kids; how could either of us fall for a girl who seems so … indifferent to the idea of having children?
It shouldn’t matter to me, and it can’t, but I know it has to be bothering Noah. As I head back toward the house, Mel is off in the distance looking out into the endless ocean ahead of her. She’s completely lost in thought as I approach. Seems I’m not the only one who needed to get some air and think.
“Is this seat taken?”
She shrugs. “It’s a public beach.”
“Actually, it’s not.”
“Figures.”
She’s filled with sarcasm, and it makes me want to kiss her, but I can’t.
“If you had Sara chasing after you, you’d be glad it was private too.”
“True,” she answers, looking over at me. I focus my attention on the water; it’s best to keep those gorgeous hazel eyes out of my line of sight.
“He loves you,” I tell her, choking down my own hurt at the truth.
“I know,” she answers with a sigh. “And I love him, but …”
“He’s moving too fast.”
“Yeah, I guess maybe that’s it.”
I want to tell her it’s not his fault, that there’s something magical about her and any man would be a complete fool not to fall at her feet and vie for her love and attention. Instead, I do the right thing and help my brother keep the love of his life.
“Noah has been ready for the rest of his life for a while now. He’s always loved being part of the band, but if he had it his way, we would have quit a few years ago. Probably around the time all the Sara shit happened the first time. Maybe he seems overly eager to you, but he’s just excited to finally move on to what he’s wanted all along.”
“A family,” she answers thoughtfully.
“Bingo. You know, Princess, you and I aren’t so different. It takes us longer to let people in, but once we do, it hurts like a bitch to let them go.”
She scoops up a handful of sand, and it funnels through her fingers as she thinks about what I said. “I don’t want to let him go. I just don’t know if I can give him what he wants.”
At this moment I’m glad I was able to apologize to her on the workout bus. I feel, for the first time in weeks, like we’re back to being friends. It’s a good feeling; I’ve missed her.
“Look, I’m not one to give advice, but Noah is different. If you can’t give him what he wants, do us all a favor and break it off now. I know my brother, and he’s in this for the long haul. Forever, if you’ll have him. He won’t break your heart, but you could easily break his. Marriage and a family have always been his dream. What he’s saved and built up for his whole life. And to be honest, I’ve never seen him fall for someone the way he’s fallen for you. You’re his heart, Princess. Try not to break it.”
“How do you know?”
I turn to her with a forced smile. “Because he told me. But even if he hadn’t, I know my brother, and I’ve never seen him this happy.”
I stand up and dust the sand off my pants before bending down and kissing the top of her head. She always smells so good, and it makes the pit in my stomach seem much bigger. I’ve said all I have to say; the rest is between her and Noah, and for his sake, I hope she sticks around.
When I get back to the house, Noah is moping around the kitchen. “Where were you?” he asks with an edge to his tone I don’t care for.
“I was taking a walk. I saw your girl down there on my way back inside. She seems sad. Want to talk about it?”
He pops open a can of soda and slumps down into a chair. “There’s not much to talk about.”
“Well, why are you so moody?” I ask, leaning back against the countertop.
“Because I’m an idiot. I know this is all moving fast. If it’s fast for me, it’s got to be lightspeed for her, and I couldn’t just leave it alone.”
“What did you do?”
“Asked her to move in here,” he mumbles.
Oh shit.
“You probably just scared her. Moving in with anyone is a big step, but Mel seems like the kind of girl who would run from heavy commitments offered too soon.”
“What do I do? I can’t take it back.”
I grab a beer because this day has been far too heavy already, and it has to be beer thirty somewhere. “Ask yourself a bigger question. Did you mean it? Do you want her to move in?”
I take a long draw of my beer in preparation of his answer, even though I already know it.
“I do. I know it’s fast, but why wait? We’re going to be on tour for a year. If we’re still together at the end of it, being apart would suck. Moving forward in my life is the goal, not backward. If she doesn’t move in, that would be backward.”
“You’ve got a point.”
“Do you care? I mean … it is your house, too, and I know there are feelings involved.”
After downing the rest of my beer, I reply.
“No, I don’t care. And I wish you’d let the feeling shit go. It’s over, and I’m getting tired of repeating myself about it. I’m beginning to think you have more of an issue with me being truthful with you for once than you do about my random, fleeting feelings. If you’re going to be with her, you have to accept we’re all going to be family and she and I are going to still be friends.”
Noah stands, looking between me and the backyard, conflict warring across his features. When he finally turns his attention to me, I brace myself for the worst possible outcome. Instead, he smiles.
“The two of you should be friends. You guys have a lot in common. More than her and I do it feels like at times. I don’t have an issue with your truths, Sawyer, but sometimes the past creeps up on me, and I can’t shake it. That in itself is stupid because …” He comes closer and stands next to me leaning against the table.
“Because why?”
“Because I was just as much at fault for Marilyn as you were, maybe more so. If I’ve never admitted that to you, or taken the proper responsibility for it, I apologize. The thing is there’s a mental disconnect there that is hard to get past.”
“What do you mean?” The question is stupid; I’m pretty sure I know exactly what he’s talking about, but hearing him say it would be nice for once.
“Come on, you already know. Even if I were equally to blame, walking into that room and seeing what I saw, feeling what I felt … it was the worst betrayal I could imagine. Once I knew the whole story, I saw the whole thing differently, but that image of you two, the anger I felt, that didn’t just go away because the circumstances changed. What I felt in that moment was horrible, and no matter how hard I try to forget that feeling, no matter how much I realize you wouldn’t hurt me that way again, it still creeps up on me at times.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. I’d give anything to change that day.”
He pats my shoulder. “I know, and you’ve proved it by changing yourself. I’m proud of you, Sawyer, even if I don’t always show it.”
His eyes stray back outside, and I straighten up, throwing my arm over his shoulder while leading him to the door.
“It’s time, Noah. Go get your girl back. Apologize, grovel, whatever, but let this shit go. Moving in doesn’t need to be a discussion now. After a year goes by, it won’t even be a question. Besides, if she’s like me, once you back off a bit I bet she’ll think about it and reconsider before the week is over.”
“Good point.” He moves to open the door, and I catch his wrist.
“I’m going out tonight. Darren and Belle won’t be back until sometime after midnight. He took her to see his house and then they’re going to see a band she’s writing an article about. Wyatt and Anna went back to San Diego to take care of some work stuff before the holiday. The house is yours. Enjoy it because everyone invades tomorrow morning.”
“Another beer, sexy?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Sasha bends over, intentionally wiggling her tight ass in front of me as she pulls a fresh glass from the freezer. She’s got on a pair of high-heel boots, dark denim jeans, and the standard JAI black V-neck t-shirt. J changed the logos a few years back because Just an Illusion didn’t fit well across the breasts of some of the women. Or maybe it fit too well and became a focal point.
Sasha winks at me, letting her fingers brush against mine as she hands me the frosty glass.
“Sasha …” Jordan warns, but she doesn’t take him seriously. Sasha is J’s best friend.
“Don’t start with me, J. You bang whoever you want in this bar. I get to have some fun now and then, don’t I?”
“It’s my bar,” he counters, but she’s quick to reply.
“I’ve been here since the first day. If you’re not going to make me the new bar manager, don’t jump my shit for making my day a bit better.”
She leans over and whispers in my ear. “Jordan’s office, ten minutes.”
I nod, and Jordan groans as she saunters away. “Why do you encourage her?”
“Because she’s hot as fuck, has a pussy like a vise, and truly understands it means absolutely nothing when you get fucked in a bathroom.”
“I’ll give you that. Not that I’ve gone there, but I’ve seen her in action enough to know she’s a no-strings-attached kind of girl.”
“She’s got new ink too.”
He nods. “Yeah, Ben finished her sleeve last week. It looks pretty badass up close.”
“Hey, sexy, buy me a drink?” a familiar voice whispers in my ear, and when I turn to look, I can’t keep the grin off my face.
“Sure, sexy mama, what are you having?”
“That depends,” she whispers huskily as her hand ghosts over mine. “What are you offering?”
“Normally, I’d offer you a drink straight from my natural geyser, but you’d have to get on your knees, and I’m not sure you’re in any condition for that. Besides, the glare your boyfriend is giving me right now could probably kill me in an alternate universe.”
Belle laughs uncontrollably, and Darren wraps his arm around her shoulder. “Mine, asshole, get your own.”
Sasha walks by at that same moment. “Tick-tock, sexy. It’s go time.”
With a satisfied smirk, I reply to Darren, “I’m about to. I’ll be back in fifteen, save my seat.”
“Seriously? It’s that easy for him?” Belle asks as I walk away.
If she only knew. I don’t think it’s taken me more than five minutes to find a willing partner in the last ten years. After entering J’s office, I close and lock the door behind me before heading straight to his desk and grabbing a condom from his stash.
Sasha steps out of the bathroom wearing only a black bra and matching thong. My dick immediately stands at attention.
“It’s been too long, Sawyer,” she says before dropping her lips to mine. As our tongues tangle together, her expert hands have my belt and pants undone in no time. She pushes my pants and boxers down, drops to her knees, and takes me in her mouth.
“Fuck, Sasha,” I hiss, as she flicks her tongue against my tip, humming her approval. Steadying my arms behind me against the desk, I let her set the pace, knowing she’ll stop before I come because she wants to get off just as much as I do.
She pulls away and looks up at me while continuing to jerk me off with her hand. The hunger in her eyes is so damn sexy, and when she dips her tongue to lap up my pre-cum, my eyes roll back in my head. She climbs up my body and pulls off my shirt, then tugs my nipple rings with her teeth.
Groaning my appreciation, I slide my hand into her panties and dip my fingers into her warm, wet pussy. My thumb skims over her clit and hits metal. Fuck. She hisses at the same time I do.
“This I like, a lot,” I tell her as I push her back against the desk and drop to my knees to get a good look.
It’s a simple silver stud, and my cock twitches as I swirl my tongue around it. She practically drops to the floor in a puddle of pleasure as I fuck her with my fingers and tongue.
“Sawyer, stop,” she gasps, and I pull back immediately. She flips around with her ass facing me, hands bracing the desk. “Fuck me now so I can come on that big cock of yours. I’m not going to last long, and my break is almost over.”
Damn, I love how direct and to the point she is. When a woman tells me exactly how she wants to get off, it’s the ultimate thrill and really fucking sexy. I kick off my shoes and pants so I can move freely and then sheathe my cock with the condom before pushing inside her in one smooth thrust.
“Fuck,” we groan together as she clenches my cock and pushes her ass against me.
“Hard and fast, Sawyer. Make me feel you for days.”
I wish she had long hair so I could wrap it around my wrist and pull, but her short, spiky cut is perfect for her. Placing my hands on her hips, I thrust into her, building momentum.
“Dammit, Sawyer, stop going easy on me. I want to feel it.”
With her words, I slam into her again and again. She clutches the desk for dear life as she cries out her pleasure. “Yes, fuck yeah, right there!”
I move one hand to that silver stud, and with the slightest flick, she’s coming hard and fast. My orgasm hits as her tight walls clench around my cock, and we ride it out together until we’re breathless.
“Damn, I needed that so much. Thank you.”
I chuckle as I slowly pull out of her and help her up from the desk. “You’re not the only one who needed a release.”
While I tie off the condom, Sasha disappears into the bathroom to clean up. Once she’s dressed, she pops a kiss on my cheek and ducks out the door, leaving me to get dressed.
Why can’t all fucks be this simple?
When I get back to the bar, Darren leaves Belle with me while he goes to the restroom.
“If she’s your type, why do you look at my girl as if she’s the only woman alive?”
“Excuse me?” I practically choke on the beer Sasha left for me on the counter.
“Don’t play dumb, Mel might be oblivious, but I know better. You want her. A lot.”
“Your girl made her choice, and it’s the right one. Noah loves her.”
She taps her fingers on the counter. “Hmm, true, and she loves him too. Still doesn’t change how you feel.”
My eyes lock on her brown ones; I’m not backing down.
“What’s your motive here, Belle? Are we friends right now, or are you looking for a story?”
She sighs. “You’re just like her, so fucking jaded about things. From now on, if I want to talk to you about something for work, I’ll preface the conversation with that or ask if it’s okay to use if something comes up.”
“Princess isn’t jaded, she’s cautious. It’s not a bad thing.” It’s one of the things I admire most about her.
She cracks a smile at me and leans in close. “You would have been the right choice too, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She’s not drinking because of the baby, so whatever she says right now is her unfiltered truth.
“Just what I said. You and Noah both have qualities that compliment Mel. The one big difference I see is he’s an over-the-top, romantic, heart-on-his-sleeve kind of guy while you’re the one who would challenge her and push her in all the ways she so desperately needs.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
“Doesn’t matter, they’re in love. There is no way in hell I’m getting in the middle of that. Been there done that and barely escaped with my family and my sanity.”
Shrugging, she moves back into her own space. “Your call. Bathroom bar fucks are fun too. I’m not sure I’ll miss them though. Before Darren, I swore I’d never give them up.”
I quickly glance around to be sure Darren is not within listening range. “Not to be a dick, but that baby is his, right? You haven’t been with anyone else?”
She puts her fingers up in a scout’s honor sign. “Cross my heart. I’d never lie about that. I know what it’s like to have a random sperm donor for a dad. Even if my relationship with the father didn’t work out, this baby will have one with him.”
“It’ll work out, but I had to ask.”
“I know, just like I had to ask about you and your Princess.”
“You’re a bitch, do you know that?”
“Yup, but it comes from a place of love.”
“Hey, who do you love?” Darren asks, coming up behind her and dropping kisses against her neck.
“That who is a what, and it’s being a bitch.” She answers, and this time Darren laughs.
“What’s new?”
She punches his shoulder, and he pulls her into his lap. “Be nice or,” he meets my gaze over her shoulder, “you won’t be banging my bongo tonight.”
“You know, Belle, he’s kind of an asshole. You guys might actually be perfect for each other.”
Belle laughs. “The bitch and the asshole sounds like the perfect fairy tale to tell our kids already.”
We all share a laugh and a few more drinks before heading home.
I catch J’s attention before we leave. “We’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“Are you kidding? I’m not missing Mom’s turkey, cookies, or eggnog. I’ll be there.”
“Good, you can finally meet Noah’s girl. See you tomorrow.”
We follow Mac outside, and it’s quickly decided Belle and Darren will ride back with us. It’s better this way, safety in numbers after all.
This morning went well. Noah and I are getting along, and all seemed right in the Weston house until Rob and J got hold of me.
I just split my Pop-Tarts with Noah, and Princess poured me a drink when J and Rob indicated they wanted a meeting. Once my bedroom door closes, they’re both staring at me in disbelief.
“I’m not a fucking mind reader. What crawled up your asses, and what does it have to do with me?”
J comes closer and feels my head with the back of his hand. “He doesn’t have a fever.”
Rob moves his eyes up my arms “All his tats are there. Pod person?”
“Enough, you two.”
“Nah, he’s still the same cocky fuck. What gives, Sawyer? Why is Noah’s hot-as-fuck girlfriend your Princess?” J asks, doing a piss-poor job of hiding his underlying mirth.
“That’s what this is about? It’s an inside joke and the nickname stuck. It’s not a big deal.”
“You sure? Noah seemed tense,” Rob adds, and I nod.
“Noah is still irritated about the drug stuff, and I haven’t exactly been easy to deal with because of his role in retiring and the anniversary and shit. It’s got nothing to do with Mel.” I leave out Sara because I don’t know how much information Noah is going to give the family about her right now. All they seem to know is this tour is attracting a bigger crowd and we increased our security because of it.
“What do you guys know about her anyway? Noah seems awfully cozy for someone he just met.” Rob’s analytical side is showing, and while I usually find it interesting to see the way he thinks, it pisses me off.
“She’s cool, and with her family history, you can assure your wife she’s definitely not after Noah’s money. You’ll see as the next few days progress, they’re perfect for each other.”
“I don’t envy you. How the hell you share a bus with a girl that hot is beyond me. I know she’s Noah’s girl, but my dick might have a hard time figuring that out if I were sharing close quarters with her.” J’s words hit home harder than I could have imagined.
“We’ve been down that road before, and remembering that Marilyn shit is enough to shrivel any dick. Mel and I are friends, she’s a cool chick, but that’s the extent of it.”
Divert, divert, divert. They’re both looking at me like they know the truth. Maybe Rob does, Diane is his wife, but I know J doesn’t. Draining the rest of my drink, I hold up my glass. “Time for a refill. Come on, let’s get drunk.”