Chapter Twenty-Three
Xander (Saturday)
As my eyes flickered open, I had the sense that something was different. It took me a minute for my brain to catch up, but soon it became obvious: I wasn’t alone.
I wasn’t waking up by myself; I had Lila in my arms. Usually I kicked the covers off, stretched, and waited for my eyes to adjust to the light. But today, I was snuggling deeper under the covers, curling around the beauty in my arms, and inhaling her wonderful scent. She was somehow citrus and coconut all at once, and it was utterly wonderful.
I could honestly say I was the happiest I’d ever been. I couldn’t recall a time that anyone had ever made me feel this way, and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted what I had with Lila to become something real, and I got the impression that she felt the same way. I wasn’t totally convinced, we’d need to have a conversation about it at some point, but she certainly wasn’t running away screaming at any rate. I was taking that as a good sign.
She stirred, moaning, and turned until her face was pressed up close to mine. Her eyes remained shut for a few moments, which allowed me to examine her features closely, to commit every bit of her to memory. Her pale skin had little flecks across it, freckles, too, and her hair had lighter and darker shades to it, giving depth that I hadn’t realized was there before. Then there were her long eyelashes that were so beautiful I almost reached out to touch them. Luckily, just before I could make that crazy move, her eyes flickered open and a bright beaming smile spread across her cheeks.
“Morning,” she rasped quietly. “Were you watching me sleep?”
“Only for a moment.” I pulled back to get a better look at her, and she shied away a little under my gaze. “You look lovely,” I did my best to reassure her. “Pretty.”
“Thank you, but I would feel much better if I could have a shower.”
“Subtle hint,” I teased playfully. “Go on, go have a shower.” As she moved out from under the sheets and picked up my oversized t-shirt to throw over her head, I realized that I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. I still wanted to hang out with her, but I wasn’t quite sure how to ask that question without making a fool out of myself.
For the first time in my life, I wished that I had more experience with asking women out.
“Hey, I’m going over to the orphanage today, if you’re interested? I’m sure the kids would love to hang out with you some more.” Maybe it was a cop out, but it was a good way to see how she was feeling.
“Yeah, I’d love to,” she agreed happily. “That sounds awesome, thank you. I might need to borrow some more clothes, though.”
“Help yourself.” I gestured toward my wardrobe, happy for her to take whatever she wanted, especially as she looked so damn hot in everything that belonged to me. “Actually...” I moved out from the bed, too, before standing proudly and showing off my naked body. “I might join you in that shower. I think that I could use a wash, too.”
Her eyes lit up. I could sense that naughtiness emanating from her once more, and my excitement grew. Time spent with Lila was going to be a whole lot of fun...
***
“Oh, hi, Lila. Hello, Xander.” If Jo was suspicious that we were hanging out together again, she didn’t show it. In fact, she looked stressed. “It’s great to have you guys here; it’s crazy today. We have inspection coming up, so... Well, you can imagine.”
“Oh, well, just let us know if you have anything in particular that you need us to do!” Lila exclaimed, watching all the kids scurrying around to tidy up. Thinking back, I couldn’t recall a time that we ever had inspections when I was in the home, but it was a different time back then. “If not, we can just help amuse the children.”
“Actually, that would be awesome. Some of the younger ones are suffering from boredom because no one can play with them, and asking them to help with the cleaning will be more of hindrance than a help.”
“Sounds good,” Lila said with a laugh.
We followed Jo and I shot Lila a look, wondering if we were up to the challenge, but she didn’t look fazed at all. As Jo left us with the children, her mind somewhere else entirely, Lila took total control of the situation.
“Let’s play some games!”
As she ran around with the little ones, putting them in a much better mood than I ever could’ve hoped to achieve, I couldn’t help but admire her. She was incredible and such fun to watch. She had a great knack with the kids, too, and it made me see what an amazing mom she would make one day...
Not that I was getting ahead of myself, of course!
There was only one young girl who wasn’t joining in the festivities. She was sitting in the corner, watching on with a big smile on her face. I felt drawn to her, so I sat beside her to check that she was okay. I might not have been as good as Lila with the games, but I could have a chat with a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed cutie like this one.
“Hi,” I said quietly just to her. She looked up at me, her eyes widening with surprise. Her cheeks went red, but she didn’t break eye contact with me. I got the sense that if I just kept talking, eventually she would join in. “This is a bit nuts, isn’t it? That bunch are all so noisy.” She gave a giggle, which had to be a good sign. “I’m glad I can sit here with you and watch. That’s much more fun.”
“Yeah!” She nodded and bounced on her knees. “Yeah, fun.”
“How old are you?” I was glad she seemed to be warming up to me; it felt like a real achievement. As she held up four fingers, I grinned happily. “And, what’s your name?”
“Sadie.” I watched intently as she turned around and grabbed a handful of pictures that she’d drawn. “My pictures.”
I flicked through the images with her, and she told me all about them as we went. Some of it was very nonsensical, logic that only a four-year-old would understand, but some of it gave me an idea of her personality. She seemed to be very girly, with a love of princesses, but possibly afraid, too. There were a lot of witches and dragons and beasts, which made me wonder what her life was like. All the kids in this place had a story, and none of them had particularly happy endings.
Soon Lila had the rest of the kids all drawing and making things, too, which left her with enough free time to come over to talk with me and Sadie. They sat and drew together for well over an hour.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jo raced into the room, looking more harassed than I’d ever seen her before, but as she saw Lila with Sadie, she stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh, I was coming to apologize for leaving you guys alone for so long, but it seems like you’ve done a good job of it.” She moved right to my side and folded her arms across her chest. “I cannot believe that you’ve managed to get Sadie talking. She’s the shyest girl that I’ve ever had here, you know?”
“Wow...” I didn’t take credit, even though it was me who’d first spoken to Sadie, I simply joined in with Jo watching Lila in awe, as if she was a pro. It did make me feel good inside, though, to know that I’d managed to have some sort of impact in someone’s life... especially someone from the orphanage who didn’t have a lot normally. “That’s incredible.”
Jo shook her head, bringing us both back into the present moment. “I actually need to gather all the kids up for a meeting, so much as I appreciate your help today – you two have been absolute stars – I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Is that okay?”
“Oh, of course.” I stood up and went over to grab Lila. “Thank you so much for having us.”
As we walked outside, I half listened to Lila talking while my mind wandered all over the place. This was someone who seemed to just get me, without me even having to tell her things. Lila and I had an intense, powerful bond, and I felt a little bad that I hadn’t opened up to her in the way that she had me. It didn’t feel fair.
If I was going to change my ways, if I was going to let Lila in, then I needed to start today.
I started on that the second the car doors shut behind us. “You know, I spent my childhood in that home,” I said casually, trying to disguise the fact that my heart was thumping painfully in my chest.
I could sense her spinning around in her seat to stare at me, the goosebumps popping up on my arm told me as much, but I couldn’t meet her gaze just yet. I continued to look at the road as if I was focused on driving. “You did?” she eventually stammered in shock. “I didn’t know that.”
I sighed deeply, some of the big walls that I’d built around me falling away. “Yeah, I guess...” Oh, God, I shouldn’t have started telling this story until I was ready. That was a mistake; still there wasn’t much that I could do about it now.
“I guess my mom didn’t want me. She was a junkie who put her addiction first, so that’s where I grew up.” I almost told her that I first met Michael there, but that was his story to tell, not mine. “So, I guess if I was a little younger, our paths could’ve crossed a lot earlier.”
Lila slumped back in her seat, a million and one thoughts racing through her mind – I could practically see them written across her face. I didn’t like the odd atmosphere that filled the car, so I asked another question to try and dispel that.
“Hey, you never spoke to me about... whatever it was you wanted to chat about the first time that we hung out at the orphanage.”
Her face totally reshaped itself – that at least meant we were on the right track. “Oh, I... I just wanted to... to ask what your plans were for Kyle and me. He’s so serious about this, and I guess I just wanted to check that you were, too.”
I didn’t totally believe her, but I didn’t want to press the issue. Instead, we made the rest of the journey in silence but it didn’t feel awkward. We were both lost in our own thoughts. Lila was no doubt wondering about my past, and I was still trying to work out what she wanted to know.
Maybe it would just have to be one of those things that I never got to find out.