Chapter Sixteen
Alissa
December 16, Saturday
An argument burst out in my head, and none of the voices were my own. My mother yelled and called me a tramp; she told me I had no morals and was screwing up her marriage.
But then Elle came out on the other end telling me that I needed to have fun. She insisted that I had to have a good time, and to jump “back on the horse.” I knew which one I wanted to listen to, but I wasn’t sure what was wise.
If I rolled with the same theory that I’d gone with earlier, I wasn’t myself tonight. It was the one night of my life where I could act out of character and do what I wanted to. There was a stirring deep inside of me, a hot pulsating need in my underwear, one that was crying out for this wonderful man.
Oh God, just go for it!
As my brain finally decided, I twisted the top of my body around and pointed towards my bedroom door. As I revealed what felt a bit like the Holy Grail, my heart thundered so painfully in my chest I feared it might burst through my rib cage.
“It’s over there,” I whispered. “But I haven’t tidied it.” That was a crap excuse; my bedroom was always immaculate. I wasn’t even sure why I was stalling. What would’ve been better would be for me to just go for it before I could really freak myself out.
“I don’t care how tidy it is,” Cade growled and held out his hand to me. Hearing the desire in his tone only sparked my excitement even more. God, I did want this tall, dark, and handsome man, so why was my brain so determined to freak me out? “I just want to see you in it.”
I took his hand and allowed him to drag me towards my own room, all the while the butterflies in my stomach grew into the size of birds. I bounded across the apartment on my tiptoes, almost as if I was too afraid to make any noise whatsoever. In the same way, it was good that Elle wasn’t here. Brad, too. I knew they liked to have loud, look-at-me sex, but that wasn’t me at all. Knowing they were on the other side of that wall would make me far too self-conscious.
I was already battling with enough demons. I didn’t need to add to them.
“This is officially the tidiest room I’ve ever seen,” Cade declared as he ran his eyes over my cream bedsheets and midnight blue carpet. “Even your nightstands are all really tidy. Honestly, you cannot tell me this is messy to you?”
“I suppose not,” I admitted with a shrug. “I guess I tidied up, after all.”
He wrapped me up in his arms and brought that amazing mouth of his to connect with mine once more. I was honestly so happy kissing him that I could’ve continued doing so forever, but instead of focusing on that, I decided to concentrate on the fact that if kissing were so incredible, then maybe everything else would be, too.
He walked me backward as we kissed, and I went willingly, even though I knew we were headed toward the bed. The nerves were still there, but the thrill was growing so rapidly that it was about to overtake them.
My legs connected with the wood of my bed frame, and I told myself that this was my last chance to change my mind if I wanted to. As soon as I crashed onto the sheets, I knew I’d get swept away quickly and become a total slave to the sensations.
If I wanted to be smart, this was my last opportunity.
But I didn’t. I wanted this, and for the first time in my life, I wanted to just go with that. I allowed myself to fall backward with ease. As my back hit the sheets, I giggled loudly, which made Cade grin happily down at me.
“Honestly, you really are so beautiful,” he announced. “You have no idea.”
I didn’t want to hear that, it sent me on the defensive, so I pushed myself up onto my elbows and grabbed hold of Cade’s shirt to pull his lips down to meet mine. I didn’t want to think anymore – that time had long gone. Now, I wanted to feel.
He climbed onto the bed as we kissed, and he hovered over me. The feel of his body over mine didn’t scare me anymore. I felt protected by him. The heat from his body wrapped a bubble around me and helped me to shut off the rest of the world.
I started to feel his fingers lightly trailing up my thigh, causing me to shudder powerfully. I knew where he was headed, and surprisingly I really wanted him to get there soon. There was a deep, wet, fizzing heat in my underwear, and I couldn’t wait for Cade to see just what he was doing to me.
Finally, he reached the outline of the lace panties Elle had suggested I wear – which now I felt grateful for – and I arched my back against him, encouraging him in deeper. He didn’t seem to listen to me at first; he just brushed his fingers along the lace as if he needed to examine it for something. My breaths grew frantic and ragged; I sounded like I was struggling to get air into my lungs.
“Do you want more?” he whispered into my ear with a smile. I shivered blissfully at the way his breath tickled my neck.
“Yes, yes, I do,” I gasped quietly.
“Louder,” he commanded. “Come on; it’s your turn to be noisy for once.”
“Yes,” I giggled, still very softly, though. Still, it felt like I was screaming. “Yes, I want more.”
He tugged my panties to one side and slid one of his fingers up and down my slit. It felt good but wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel him, all of him. I gripped onto his arm and squeezed tightly, trying to convey how badly I needed him. I didn’t want to have to say it, not comfortable enough for that yet, so I hoped he’d get it just for my touch.
“You’re eager, aren’t you?” Cade teased. “Maybe it’s time to try this.”
“Oh shit!” I cried out inadvertently as he pushed two of his fingers into me. He plunged so deep that I could surely feel all of him, and the sensation was absolutely incredible. This was better than anything had ever felt before. For the first time ever, I could see what all the fuss was about. Maybe I wouldn’t have left it so long if it’d been this way before. “Oh, Cade.”
As his thumb moved towards me, and he flicked it over my clit, things stepped up to another level entirely. My heart thumped faster, my breaths fell out of my mouth quicker, and my pulse became more intense. I was just about ready to hand myself over to him completely.
I grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled it open. I could feel a button rip off as I did, but I didn’t care. I was too desperate then to notice things like that. I just hoped that he felt the same way and wasn’t mad afterward!
Oh wow! I ran my hands over Cade’s chest greedily, and the muscles that he had hiding under that shirt were even better than I’d been expecting. He was like a freaking sculpture, one that had come directly from a woman’s fantasy. He was far too good for me; it should’ve been some other woman lying in bed with him, but at that moment I felt so grateful it was me.
It was an experience I’d never forget, that was for sure.
I hooked my fingers through the top of his pants while pulling them down ever so slightly. The way that he was massaging my insides made me act far more confidently than I usually would, so I yanked his trousers right down and glanced at the thick, throbbing erection he had waiting for me.
Oh, my! He was huge, much bigger than I’d ever seen before, which left me excited and just a little scared all over again. All I wanted to do was reach down and touch him, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. He was very intimidating. Somehow, the thought of having him inside of me wasn’t as scary as taking him in my hand.
I wasn’t quite sure what that said about me.
“Hold on,” he grunted as he reached into his pocket. “Wait a sec.” As he pulled out a condom, my eyes widened in shock. “It’s always best to be prepared, right?”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask him if he expected this to happen or not, so I decided against it. I didn’t want the answer to put me off what was so far, an incredible experience. Instead, I watched in silence as he rolled the latex over that phenomenal cock of his.
Before anything else happened, he rested his forehead against mine and pressed his lips lightly against mine. The action was so sweet and romantic, yet somehow, it managed to ramp up the passion even further. As he slid into me, I felt truly adored in a way that made me feel better about myself...if only for a moment.
“Oh God,” I panted. “Cade.” I couldn’t stop saying his name; it felt wonderful in my mouth. “Cade, wow.”
I wrapped my hands tightly around the back of his neck and kissed him hard. It was safe to say he had complete control of my body, but with that one small action, I took some of it back. Cade’s thrusts grew harder and faster on top of me, and each time he slid into me, I felt my body opening up like a flower. I felt raw and vulnerable, but I liked the sensation with Cade. It was amazing.
A hot pool of bliss formed in my stomach, it was powerful and burning, delicious, too. I loved it; I wanted more. I couldn’t get over how incredible it felt – sex had never been so good. A deep guttural groan burst past my lips without me even noticing it. I was loud, and I barely even registered that it was happening.
Elle was right. God damn. She was so right.
My head started to swim; I felt every inch of control slipping away from myself. I barely even knew where I was anymore, never mind what was happening to me. This was crazy, unbelievably exciting; it was as if I was on a train that had left the station without my permission at all. Not that I minded. The sensations were wonderful.
“Oh fuck!” Suddenly, a tsunami of bliss flowed over me in powerful waves. I didn’t feel it coming, it just hit me, and I screamed noisily. “Oh, fucking hell, Cade.” It was intense, overwhelming, but also a release. I felt tension ebbing away from me rapidly, which meant Elle was right about something else, too.
Good sex could cheer me up. This was the happiest that I’d felt in forever. I never wanted it to end.
As the pleasure took grip of Cade, he kissed me once more, building a deep bond that hadn’t been there before. We shared a connection and a powerful chemistry, but this was something else. This was something with more intriguing depth. I wasn’t sure if it were feelings or not, but at that moment, it truly felt that way.
Maybe that was trouble, maybe not. Only time would tell.