Kimber

He means well, I know he does, but he makes promises he can’t keep. The lawyer confirmed what I was pretty sure I already knew. If Caleb is Grayson’s biological son there isn’t much we can do to keep him from winning shared custody if he continues to ask for it.

Back at home we settle into the living room with Grayson and a couple of books for the rest of the afternoon. I need to be working on the plans for Tiana’s brother’s house but right now I can’t bring myself to put Grayson down.

“Do you want something to drink?” Julián asks. He’s standing behind me with his hand on my shoulder. I lay my cheek down on his hand, “No, I’m fine. Come and sit down with us.”

He rounds my chair and bends to give me a quick kiss on the cheek before stretching out on the sofa facing me in the rocking chair. We stare at each other for a time before he speaks. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You can’t change the law, Julián, it’s out of our hands. Now we have to figure out a schedule that works for Grayson. I don’t want Caleb in the house with me when you’re not home for starters.”

“Of course not, I’ll always be here. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to ask for in an agreement. I’ve researched this a little since he approached me about it. Schedules are made to promote development for the baby and bonding time for both parents. He can’t mess with your feeding schedule since you’re breastfeeding exclusively, so he’s going to have to come here for no more than an hour or so at a time.”

“Well, that’s good to know, I wondered how that worked. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I first thought. I mean it’s not what we had planned on but maybe Caleb has made some changes in his life or something? It’s better to have an abundance of parents instead of not enough, right?”

I’m doing my best to see this in an optimistic light but something just feels so off about his intentions. I’ll play along and see what comes of it, what choice do I have?

“If all the parents have the child’s best interest at heart, yes.”

He feels it, too, the suspicion, the doubt, the fear, and protectiveness. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I can’t, my head hurts from trying to figure out my ex-husband’s intentions.

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay, sure, like what?”

I’ve been consumed with this topic all day but it didn’t start out that way, it started out pretty damn spectacular.

“Six weeks,” I say wiggling my eyebrows up and down.

“Ah, yes, six weeks. I thought we might have to revisit that tomorrow.”

“No way, nothing is getting in the way of our reunion.” I look around the room and my eyes land on the fireplace. “Tonight, by the fire, a bottle of wine, Italian food from Vincent’s, and a lot of pillows, seven o’clock sharp.”

His eyes meet mine, “You sure? It’s been a hard day, I understand if you want to wait until tomorrow.”

“Nope, not happening, be there or be square,” I say pointing at the floor in front of the fireplace. He laughs and my heart melts like it always does for him when he smiles.

“Does anybody even say that anymore? Be there or be square?”

“I just said it, didn’t I?”

“Yep, you did. I’ve never been square so I’ll be there.”

“We should probably put in our order now at Vincent’s, they’re always busy, especially around seven.”

“Okay, go ahead. I’ll have whatever you’re having, I love everything on their menu.”

“How do you stay so sexy and fit eating like you do?”

He’s right to ask. I eat whatever I want pretty much whenever I want and I don’t gain a pound granted, I work out like a maniac and keep my diet semi-healthy for the most part.

“I have a good metabolism, I guess.”

“I’ll order you a big pasta dish so you can carb load before tonight, you’re going to need the energy.” He winks and an ache begins between my legs. It’s been so long, too long for a new couple to be kept apart.

“Can’t wait,” he says lifting his hips off the couch to slide his phone from his back pocket. That tiny thrust of his hips already has me fantasizing about tonight. He checks the time on his phone.

“Only four more hours to go.”

“We got this.”

“We may have this but what about little Mr.-eats-a-lot there? He’s not a very patient guy when he wants something.”

“We should have a good two hours if I feed him at 6:45.”

“I can handle that, two hours, start slow and work into it. By the time he’s sleeping through the night you’ll be ready for an all night escapade.”

“All night, as in six hours?”

“All night as in eight. It’s healthy to get a full eight hours of sleep every night.”

I turn the corners of my mouth down and nod my head, “Impressive. Why have we never done that before?” He points at Grayson sleeping in my arms.

“Oh yeah, it’s crazy that we have never had actual sex without a baby inside of me, isn’t it?”

He nods. “It’ll be like the first time all over again, minus the beach ball.”

I crouch over and whisper into Grayson’s ear, “Did you hear that? Daddy called you a beach ball.”

“Oh, don’t you even… you called him a kidney bean.”

“I guess I did, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” He sits up, “I’m going to order the food. I think we have a takeout menu in the kitchen somewhere, don’t we?”

“Yep, in the junk drawer.”

“The junk drawer? Which one is that?” My kitchen drawers and cabinets are immaculately organized but everybody needs a junk drawer. Mine’s just tidier than average.

“Third one down on the left of the sink.” He looks up and left like he’s trying to envision what’s in that drawer.

“That’s your junk drawer? It’s neater than my most organized drawer in my desk.”

I shrug, “What can I say? I like things in their place.”

He walks down the hall to the kitchen murmuring something about me teaching new Marines the art of being neat and clean and I smile.”

I can hear him talking to the hostess at Vincent’s when my phone vibrates under my leg. I slide it out and see Caleb’s name on the screen. I groan, I thought I took him out of my contacts. I was just starting to feel better about this day and he has to go and bring me back down. I ignore the call and let it go to voicemail. I’m actually glad he was still programmed into my phone; otherwise, I may have answered it and had to talk to him.

Julián is still chatting away when my phone gives one quick rumble notifying me that I have a voicemail. I click the phone button to listen to what he had to say.

Hey, Kimmie, I wanted to call and say thank you for having your lawyer contact mine. I… I, uh, I know I’ve been a jerk about this whole thing and I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just so surprised when you got pregnant and I didn’t know what to do. I did everything wrong and I want to start making it up to you and Grayson. I love his name by the way, very strong and solid. Anyway, that’s all I wanted. I’ll see you soon when we get together to make a schedule. Bye.

I tuck the phone under my leg again. Kimmie. I groan to myself, I hated when he called me that and he’s sorry? He didn’t mean to hurt me? That sounded like a totally different man than the one who kicked me to the curb ten months ago. He sounded like he did when we first started dating. I didn’t fall for a complete douche, he was attentive and affectionate and kind when we met. It wasn’t until we were married and the humdrum of daily life set in that he started to become distant.

It wasn’t fun anymore, he played the game and he won. He didn’t know how to come home at night and have dinner with his wife and cuddle up on the couch to talk about the day. He wanted to party and drink and gamble, so that’s exactly what he did and I sat home and cleaned and organized until there was nothing left to organize and everything was ridiculously clean.

Maybe he really has turned over a new leaf and decided to man up and be a part of Grayson’s life. Grayson… he likes his name. I don’t care if he likes it or not, he wasn’t around to help choose it so it doesn’t matter to me if he likes it or not.

I sigh and look down at the sweet boy cuddled up against my chest. I can’t get a grip on my emotions about Caleb. I like to think the best of people, all people. It would be wonderful if his intentions were good and honest and he truly wanted to be a part of Grayson’s life. That is what I wanted, isn’t it? That’s why I called him when he was born. But he didn’t pick up or return my call when I left a message.

I need to talk to him in person to see if I can get a read on him, figure out his angle, what he’s after.

“Food will be ready at six thirty… Kimber… you in there?”

I shake myself from my thoughts. Julián has returned to the living room and is sitting on the couch. I didn’t even hear or see him come in.

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

“I see that, about what?”

“Caleb called me.”

“He what? When?”

“Just now when you were in the kitchen.”

“What the hell does he want now?”

“I didn’t talk to him. He left a voicemail, said he wanted to thank me for letting him into Grayson’s life.” I don’t recognize my own voice, I sound robotic and emotionless.

“Thank you? It’s not like you had any choice. Is that all he said?”

“He apologized for hurting me blah, blah, blah.”

He leans forward with his elbows on his knees resting his head in one hand and dangling the other between his legs. He’s quiet, thinking like me.

“Do you believe him?”

“I don’t know what to believe. I want to think he’s changed but it’s not like him, none of this is like him, or the him I used to know anyway.”

“Good, don’t fall for his act, baby. He’s up to something, I can feel it in my bones.”

“I want to talk to him, feel him out, see if I get a bad vibe.”

“Not alone, this is me putting my foot down.”

I reach out for his hand and he stands up instead. He takes Grayson from my arms and lays him down in his bassinette that we brought down from the nursery so we could spend time together.

When he’s sure he isn’t going to protest, he turns and pulls me out of the rocker and walks me backward to the couch. We fall down onto the wide grey cushions and he starts to tickle me. I squirm and giggle under him until I can’t breathe.

“Stop, I just had a baby, I might not have full control of my bladder,” I say out of breath and smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.

“That’s better.”

“What?” I say scrunching up my eyebrows.

“You’re smiling and laughing. I hate seeing you upset.”

“Thank you. I never thought I’d see the day I thanked you for tickling me but here it is.” I continue to hold his tickling hand in both of mine and when he moves it I push away instinctively.

“I’m not going to tickle you anymore, promise.” I relax my grip and he slides that hand up under my shirt to cover my breast. “I’m going to get these back someday, right?” he says squeezing and I bite my lip and smile.

“Yes, I won’t breastfeed him past oh… maybe five or six years old. Then they’re all yours again, unless of course we have another baby and then…” His eyes narrow and he purses his lips. “Don’t tickle me, please,” I beg and he doesn’t. He kisses me instead, his lips move over mine once, twice, three times with a tender undertone. But that doesn’t last long. With no more limits or rules to follow we are panting and grabbing at each other within minutes.

I’m pulling at his shirt when he pushes his fingers through my hair at my nape and pulls my head back exposing my neck. He’s a little rougher than he’s ever been with me and for a moment I’m not sure I like it. But when he kisses and nibbles a trail along my jawline and down my neck I decide I do like it, I really do. Goosebumps cover my skin when he slips his hand behind my thigh and hikes it up over his hip pressing his thick cock against my pulsing core.

“I want to fuck you so hard,” he says between kissing my mouth and neck. “But I I’m not going to.” What? Wait, why? I put my hands on his chest and push him away, not much, but enough to let him know I want to talk.

“Six weeks, remember? No more rules, we have the green light and the blessing of a medical professional.”

He traces my face with the tip of his finger, “I know, baby, but I don’t want to hurt you. I think we should take it easy for a few weeks. I’ve never given it to you full force because you were pregnant. You don’t know the things I’m going to do to you.”

“No, I don’t, and I don’t want to have to wait another month to find out.”

“Okay, okay, don’t get upset,” he says kissing the tip of my nose. “We’ll see how it goes, how’s that for a compromise?”

I frown, that doesn’t sound like much of a compromise to me but what can I do? I can turn him on so much that he can’t hold back, that’s what.

I didn’t know I wasn’t getting the whole Garcia treatment when I was pregnant. I suspected that he was holding back a little bit, but the growl in his throat and the tension in his jaw make me shiver with excitement.

He might be a clown and a prankster with his friends, but with me, in the bedroom he is a take charge X-rated Latin lover. I can’t wait to see what he has planned for me. He lowers himself to cover my mouth again and a squeak comes from the bassinette a few feet away.

Julián groans and drops almost his full weight onto me pressing me deep into the cushions.

“He’s trying to kill us, isn’t he?” he says.

“Can’t… breathe…” I say. I think he’s trying to kill me.

He rises up onto his knees, “Sorry, baby, you okay?”

I start to answer but Grayson cuts me off with another louder squawk this time. He’s not going to let this happen. I had my doubts about him sleeping long enough for us to do anything romantic.

“I think we might need a babysitter tonight at seven o’clock,” I suggest.

“Yes.” He drags out the s in yes and pumps his fist in the air jumping up. “I was starting to think people don’t leave their babies with a babysitter to go out anymore.”

I prop up onto my elbows and watch him pluck Grayson from his bed. He snuggles him close and speaks soft words into his ear until he calms, but only temporarily.

“Hang on, let me get settled back into the rocking chair and I’ll see if he’s hungry.”

“He just ate, no way is he hungry.” I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows, “Are you kidding me? Have you not been paying attention to what’s going on around here? This kid is an eating machine.”

I switch spots and he hands me the baby with a tiny bit of jealousy in his eyes.

“Why don’t you see if Tiana and Drake want to babysit for an hour or two tonight? I’d ask my mother but she’s an hour away. I want you all to myself, no interruptions.”

“What about my grandpa? He has plenty of experience with kids and I’m sure he’d love to do it.”

“Are you sure he’s up to it? I’m sure it’s been a long time since he’s taken care of a newborn.”

“Maybe he would go to Drake’s house and the three of them can do it together? I’ll call.”

I’m not crazy about leaving my baby with someone after Caleb has just resurfaced but we need time alone. Who safer than two retired Marines and a woman who is looking forward to being a mother?

I listen to him make the calls to Drake and his grandpa Max. By the time he’s finished everything is set and Julián has Grayson’s bag packed.

“A little eager are we?”

“Hey, what can I say? I want to be alone with my lady.” He shrugs and stuffs his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

His girl. I love being this man’s lady. Satisfaction and contentment wash over me as I sit in my beautiful home with my beautiful son and fiancé. Until a nagging feeling resurfaces and Caleb pops into the forefront of my thoughts bringing a sense of angst and uneasiness.

As much as I don’t want to, I need to speak to Caleb personally to know if his intentions are honest or corrupt. I have a feeling even then I’m going to be left with feelings of doubt and uncertainty.

What will it take to make me feel safe? What will Caleb have to do to make me believe he’s really interested in his son? I guess we will find out soon enough.