Drake

I feel old as fuck. I have never wanted a woman more than I did Tiana last night. Want doesn’t come close to how I felt. It was more like an urgent devotion, a need, a craving. I couldn’t get enough of her. I don’t think I will ever get enough of her. The only reason we stopped was out of pure exhaustion and the impending day of work we both had ahead of us.

And now I’m paying for it. But I’d take the aches, pains, and fatigue a million times over to have her in my bed all night.

I’ve run five miles, done an hour of physical training with my men and now I’m in a meeting that will take every ounce of discipline I need to stay alert for. I’m better on my feet. Now that I’m sitting down, the past twenty-four hours is hitting me like a ton of bricks.

Two more meetings and a stack of paperwork are on the agenda today. I won’t get home until after seven o’clock tonight and I have no idea how long Tiana’s shift will last at the diner.

Today is a special kind of hell reserved for people who choose not to balance work and play. I know better but I don’t regret a second of last night.

What I do regret, is that what we’re doing puts Tiana in a difficult position. I know she’s uncomfortable lying to her brother and sneaking around. I should do the honorable thing and end this before Jayden goes nuts and Tiana gets hurt because both are inevitable.

Even if I devoted my life to Tiana and gave up all other women forever, nothing is going to stop me from going blind. I know it, Jayden knows it, but I never want Tiana to know it.

If I pull away now we will have one incredible hot night to remember forever and she will never have to know about my problem. I want her to think of me the way I was last night, powerful, dominant, in control, and complete.

Disabilities like blindness, breed pity and weakness and I cannot stand the thought of being either. I pride myself on my strength and independence, without them I am dead weight. When I’m blind I won’t be able to serve my country and that’s all I’ve ever known.

I should push her away and put a stop to this thing that’s happening between us. She won’t understand, but it’s for her own good. I can’t be the man I need to be for a woman like her. She deserves a whole man, one who can give her a future full of security and family, a man she can be proud to stand next to.

Not a man she has to lead around.

Not a man in the dark.

It’s long past dinner when I’m wrapping up my paperwork and Jayden knocks on my open office door.

“Captain Williams, come in.”

“Yes, sir,” he says entering my office and closing the door behind him.

“What are you doing here so late?” I ask him.

“I wanted to talk to you about Tiana.”

I’ve been squinting at the giant font on my computer screen, but when he mentions Tiana I look up giving him my full attention. This could be bad if he knows what happened last night but I don’t get that kind of vibe from him. He seems more worried than angry.

“What’s on your mind?” I lean back in my chair and he sits down across from me on the other side of my desk. We abandoned all military formalities as soon as the door closed as we have done for years, so he speaks freely.

“She didn’t come home last night.”

“As in ever?” Panic fills me when I realize she never texted me back this morning. I assumed she had gotten up and gone to work after I set her alarm. Oh God, she could still be sleeping in my bed or worse the whack job who’s been sending her video threats could have gotten to her. Fuck, I should have called her.

“Yeah, eventually. I don’t know when but I went by the house this morning and she was leaving again.”

Thank fucking God. I hope he can’t see the pure relief that I’m feeling on my face.

“So, what’s the problem?”

“You weren’t home last night, were you?”

Shit, here it comes. “No, I ate dinner at the diner.” I may as well tell the truth as much as possible.

“Did you see her there?”

Now I have no choice but to lie. “Yeah, she was coming in when I was leaving.”

“Who was she with?”

Jayden is sly. I know this because he’s been my friend for a long time. I can’t tell if he’s pumping me for information or trying to lay a trap for me to fall into. I’m sure she told him she was hanging out with girlfriends, though, so I go with that.

“A couple of women. They looked like they were having a good time.”

He’s quiet and I pray he doesn’t ask me to describe them. When he doesn’t say anything for a while I break the silence.

“What’s going on with you, Jayden? Everything okay? You haven’t been yourself since your sister got here.”

He looks at me long and hard before speaking. “She’s in trouble man. Somebody is sending her disturbing video messages.”

Okay, now I’m sure he isn’t trying to trick me into admitting I was with her last night. He’s worried and he’s coming to me as a friend for advice.

“What do you mean?”

“Whoever was messing with her in New York is still doing it. She thought whoever posted those videos was trying to get her kicked off the show and when it worked she figured it was over.”

“But it’s not?”

“Nope. She got this cryptic video yesterday, no footage, just text telling her that they know what happened and she needs to watch her back or some shit. She was scared at first but after last night I don’t think she’s taking it seriously enough. This person could be a total psycho or something and she’s running around drinking with her friends making herself vulnerable.”

“How do you know she was drinking?”

He screws up his face and looks at me like I’m an idiot.

“She was out with her friends. All night. Couldn’t drive home, come on, man, you know how it goes.”

“Have you spoken to her about it? Maybe you should tell her to stick close to home for a few weeks until you know what this person’s going to do.” I don’t think that’s a bad idea really. If she hadn’t been with me I think I’d be just as shaken up as he is.

“Yeah, she’s pig-headed, though, she does what she wants.”

“She’s an adult, she’s going to do what she wants, wouldn’t you?”

“If I thought somebody was out to get me I’d accept my brother’s advice.”

“Even if it meant giving up your life and sitting around at home all the time waiting for something to happen?”

“Well, no, I don’t want that. I just want her to be more careful and I think she should sleep at home.”

“Sounds like you two have some talking to do.”

“She still pissed at you? I saw you guys talking on the trail. What was she saying?”

“No, I think she’s forgiven me for the most part. But at first, she wanted to bitch me out and tell me to find my own trail to run on in the future.”

He snorts and one side of his mouth lifts in a knowing smile. “Yeah, that sounds like her.”

“She’s got a temper.”

“But y’all are on speaking terms now?”

“I believe so.”

“You think you could encourage her to listen to me about being more careful? Or tell her some shit about a kidnapper in the area or something so she will come home at night.”

This is rich. He’s asking me to talk to his sister, who is off limits, about not staying out all night. Essentially, I’d be warning her to stay away from me. Not such a bad idea.

“I’m not going to make up lies, but I’d be happy to slip some safety tips into conversation with her. If I ever speak to her again, that is.” This is almost like getting permission to talk to her. It’s bizarre.

“Thanks, man. You’re a good friend. Keep your hands off her, though. Don’t go charming her or anything. Just warn her that just because this isn’t the big city doesn’t mean it’s safe.”

Way to shove a knife into my heart and twist it with the good friend comment.

“Of course.”

He leans forward to look at me closer, “How’s your vision?”

I hate talking about my sight, especially here on base in my office where someone could be listening and he knows it. A weird sensation that there is an underlying reason for his question nags at me.

“Fine.”

“No more changes?”

“No, I’m about to finish up. You want to grab a beer?” I say changing the direction of the conversation abruptly.

“Yeah, sure. Meet you at Al’s?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” I tell him.

When he’s gone, I slide my hand over my phone lying on the desk next to me. I turn it over and search Tiana’s phone number. When it’s on the screen, I hover my finger over the call button and debate if I should call her and tell her about the conversation I just had with her brother.

If I’m going to keep my distance, calling is a bad idea, but I haven’t made up my mind on what to do yet. I flip the phone over and lay it face down on the desk. No, leave it alone I repeat to myself. However, the images of her pressed up against the wall of my shower coming apart in my arms, handcuffed underneath me panting, and writhing in ecstasy, blindfolded and bound by her wrists with rope yelling my name over and over… Fuck.

I flip the phone over again and press the green call button. I lean back in my chair and glance down at my rock-hard cock straining inside my uniform pants. Just thinking of all the things I still want to do to her makes me crazy.

“Hello?” she answers on the fourth ring.

“How was your first day at the new job?”

“Drake?”

“Yes.” She blows out a relieved breath. “Were you expecting someone else?”

“No, it’s just, I don’t get a lot of phone calls so I didn’t turn off the ringer and I’m still at work.”

“At this hour? Why? You need to go home and rest.”

“You’re telling me, I’m dying. I don’t see how Donna does this by herself.”

“Didn’t they close an hour ago?”

“Yes, but there’s side work to do, I’m almost done. I can’t wait to go home and pass out for the next ten hours.”

“Do you work again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but I think Donna feels sorry for me, she told me to come in at noon for the lunch rush. It’s embarrassing, she’s in her sixties and she can run circles around me.”

“Yes, but I’m willing to bet she wasn’t handcuffed to a bed until five o’clock this morning either.” I can sense her smile on the other end of the line.

“True, although, she’s pretty frisky, you never know.”

She’s got me there, I would have never thought sweet little Miss Cavanaugh was into the same kind of sex that I am. I chuckle when I envision Donna strung up on a suspension frame.

“I wanted to let you know your brother just stopped by.”

“Oh my God, he doesn’t suspect…”

“No, no, but he’s concerned about you. Concerned enough that he asked me to encourage you to stay home at night. He doesn’t think you’re taking the videos seriously since you went out all night last night.”

She laughs, “Really? You? He asked his smoking-hot neighbor that he doesn’t want me to get involved with to tell me I’m not being safe?”

“Smoking-hot, huh?”

“I shouldn’t have said that. You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Who me?”

“Hush. Oh, shoot, I have to go, Donna is calling me but I have something to tell you too.”

“Do you want to call me later?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out of here in about thirty minutes, will that be okay?”

“I’ll be at Al’s having a beer with your brother.”

She hollers to Donna with her hand over the phone, “Just a second, Donna, I’m coming. Sorry, well I’m going to pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow so I’ll tell you now. Your mom came by this morning when I was getting ready to leave. She came upstairs to your room. We met and she saw the bed, I’m pretty sure she knows what’s going on.”

Damn it, Mother! What the hell is she doing? I’m going to have to change the locks. When will I learn? I should have called her.

“Was everything okay?” I ask.

“Aside from being caught in her son's bedroom that smelled like sex, yes, it went rather well,” Tiana replies.

“I’m sure she loved you and I’m sorry if she scared you. She’s been on my case lately about calling her back.”

“Well, she is your mother, you should call her back. I’d give my right hand to talk to my mum again.”

If I weren’t feeling guilty before, I am now. Here I am acting like I’m too busy to call my mother back while Tiana will never see hers again. I’m not a complete asshole, I don’t call her because the less interaction I have with her the less likely it is that she finds out about my vision… for now.

“You’re right, believe me, I’ll make a point of it from now on.”

“I’ve got to go, Donna needs me.”

She’s not the only one.

“How are you getting home if your brother is here?”

“I’ll walk.”

“You will not. Maybe Jayden is right. You’re not taking this seriously enough, get an Uber.” I swear to God if she refuses, I’ll stand Jayden up and go get her.

“Okay, I have to go.”

“Tiana, promise me. Uber.”

“I promise. My God, you’re as bad as Jayden.”

“Oh honey, you have no idea. Don’t try my patience.”

Click. The phone line disconnects. She did not fucking hang up on me. I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the screen that says call ended. She did hang up. That little fucking firecracker hung up.

I open a text box and press the audio message option and send her a text while I make my way out of my office.

Big mistake.

I don’t take well to rudeness, not to mention disobedience. That woman just pressed my biggest button and now she’s going to see what happens when she refuses me. So much for breaking things off today, I’ll have to do it tomorrow.