Kimber

After I double check the locks on the doors, I sit down in the living room and think about my conversation with Julián while I feed Grayson.

Why is he having me lock the doors? I know there’s a good possibility that Caleb will show up on our doorstep again, he’s stubborn has hell. But what does he think is going to happen? Caleb was never physically abusive toward me. He was cruel with his words. That’s his game, or at least it was the last few months of our marriage.

I can’t live in fear, stuck in this house with the doors locked forever. I have a life to lead, a child to raise, a job to do. In fact, I need to go to the grocery store this afternoon and get something to go with our steaks.

He never said don’t leave the house, I guess. Just to lock the doors when I’m home and that makes sense. I do sleep hard, he’s right.

When Grayson is done nursing we head out to the grocery store. It’s not that far, I could walk and push him in the stroller but it’s too hot this afternoon so we drive.

I’m still getting used to small-town living. The shops are tiny and everyone knows everyone’s business. I haven’t made a lot of friends but as soon as I enter the grocery store I know that’s about to change.

People are drawn to a baby like kids to candy. All of the old ladies who hang out in the town square to gossip are cooing and smiling at Grayson. I’m happy to show him off, of course, but I need to get my groceries. After almost twenty minutes I’m starting to think I’ll never get out of here when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

“Ladies, ladies, let’s let the pretty mama and her handsome son get her groceries.”

It’s Caleb, and he has his hand on the small of my back guiding me away from the group of mother hens. When we are out of earshot near the produce department, I start firing questions.

“Caleb, what are you doing? Why are you here? Oh my God, you’re following me, aren’t you?”

He smiles the smile that made me fall for him almost five years ago.

“I’m just grocery shopping, Kimmie, that’s all. I saw you struggling to get away from those women and I thought I would help you out.” Just then he catches sight of his son for the first time in his car seat and I’m shocked when his expression softens and he bends down to have a closer look.

“Hey, sweet boy, I’m your daddy. I’m glad to finally get to meet you,” he says in a way that makes me feel like I’ve been keeping him from Caleb instead of the other way around. I don’t like it.

He touches Grayson’s cheek with the tip of his finger. He’s falling asleep. The old ladies of Jewel Falls wore him out.

“He’s beautiful, Kimmie, he looks just like you. My God, I had no idea…”

“No idea what?” I peer into the car seat to see whatever it is he’s seeing but its just Grayson, just my baby.

“I had no idea I would feel this way. He’s my son, my blood. I think I love him already, does that happen? Do parents have a natural love for their children?” He straightens up and looks into my eyes. I try to read what’s going on in his mind but I see nothing there but tenderness and… could it be? Love?

“Maybe, I know I fell in love with him the second I saw him.” I have to pull my eyes from his and breathe. This isn’t happening, he isn’t honestly interested.

I hadn’t realized that I was hoping he would fade away and never see Grayson. I feel a little jealous, too, or bitter, I’m not sure. How does he get to dip out when his son is a kidney bean and show up when he’s six weeks old claiming to suddenly love him?

I’m the one who carried him in my belly for forty weeks. I’m the one who fed him nutritious food and exercised to keep healthy, gained weight, and pushed him out of my bod into the world. I’m the one changing his diapers and feeding him around the clock, but he loves him?

I call bullshit in my mind but I keep that opinion to myself. I just want to get my groceries and go home.

He gazes down at Grayson who has lost interest in the world around him and gone to sleep. “I think that’s what just happened to me, too. Kimmie, when do you think I can see him again? I’d like to hold him, bond a little, maybe.”

My mind races for an answer. I’m far from being convinced that he is being honest but he is his father. He’s watching me now, waiting to see how I react.

“How about I meet you at the diner for lunch tomorrow? It’s a public place, neutral territory, we can talk and I could hold him.”

The diner, why does he know about the diner? Why is he shopping in the tiny town square of Jewel Falls when he doesn’t live here? Oh my God, I hope he doesn’t live here.

“Caleb, why are you grocery shopping in Jewel Falls?”

“My Aunt Tracy was put in a nursing home nearby. I was visiting and she asked me to get a few things for her.”

Inwardly I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I’m having enough trouble accepting his about-face, I don’t want to be neighbors, too, and in Jewel Falls everyone is a neighbor, no matter how far apart you live.

“You have an Aunt Tracy? I don’t remember her.”

“She was my father’s youngest sister. She was in a car accident recently and has to have constant care for a while. Jewel Falls has one of the best so that’s where we moved her.”

“We? Who’s we?” His parents are dead and he was never close to his extended family so I’m curious as to who we might be. He shifts his weight from one foot to another and slides his hands into the pockets of his uniform pants. Not a good sign, he fidgets when he lies, that I remember.

“Well, not we anymore, I guess. Crystal and I broke up, she moved back home to Chicago.

“Oh,” is all I say because now I’m wondering if he is having a change of heart because his girlfriend left him and he doesn’t like being alone.

“So tomorrow, the diner around twelve thirty? Or would later work better for you?”

“One, one o’clock is fine.” I don’t know why I just agreed to that. I told Julián that I didn’t want to meet with him alone but suddenly it feels like a moment that should be between Caleb and me.

His face lights up like I’ve never seen before and there is a twinkle in his ocean blue eyes. “Perfect, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He leans toward me as if he were going to kiss my cheek like he has done a million times in the past but thinks better of it and pats my arm instead. I’m glad, I don’t want him in my bubble and I also don’t want the gossip hens of Jewel Falls spreading rumors that I’m having an affair.

We go our separate ways but it’s a small store and we bump awkwardly into each other two times before I just grab whatever and leave. I’m glad we didn’t walk, it’s blistering hot outside and I don’t feel like chit chatting with every person I pass on the street.

At home I consider calling Julián to tell him about my run in with Caleb. We have been convinced that he was up to something sinister, this might ease his worries. Or intensify them when he knows I agreed to meet Caleb alone tomorrow.

We are honest with each other about everything though, right? Well, we were until he decided to keep Caleb’s interest in Grayson to himself. He did it to protect me but if I didn’t mention this to him it would be to protect him, too.

I love him, I don’t want him to worry about losing Grayson and me to Caleb. That will never happen. Julián saved me, he loved me when Caleb tossed me aside and I am going to marry him. We are perfect for each other, he is my pair of warm fuzzy socks and I am his pudding.

I’ll figure this thing out with Caleb on my own if I can. After seeing him today the situation doesn’t seem as daunting. Whatever his intentions are I don’t think he is out to destroy our lives. Not on purpose anyway.