Liam

She’s here. That’s good, but she’s with fucking Kit! How the hell do those two know each other? Kit knows everything about me, and from the way she was acting downstairs, he must have told her about Amira and me. If I can keep her mind off the baby situation long enough to convince her I’m a good guy and that I’m not out to get her into bed, it will be a miracle and a lie. I’d love to get her into bed.

So far, Kit is being cool about this. He just nudged Lourdes next to me in the booth. I can’t keep my eyes off her. She looks stunning, so different from the fresh-faced woman I met earlier this week. This Lourdes is a sex kitten. I’m sure Kit had a lot to do with that. He’s even color coordinated their outfits: pink shirt, pink dress, pink jewelry.

I can see her out of the corner of my eye bouncing ever so slightly to the beat. She’s cautious and reserved, but she’s happy. The crowd is doing their job, hyping up the energy in the room. Lourdes smiles out over them. A few notice her and wave. She looks at me, and I nod before she waves back. Now she’s loosening up. The music and the crowd are sucking her in. I remove my headphones to place them on her head, and she lifts her hands to cover them when they are in place. Her eyes open wide and a broad smile spreads across her face.

“Are you having fun?”

She’s dazed. This is a lot to take in. She moves one of the phones, and I repeat my question. Her face falls as if she’s been caught doing something wrong. She stops swaying, and the smile I’ve been enjoying slips from her lips. I wish I’d never asked. I loved that smile.

“Liam, I shouldn’t be here.” She tips her head toward Kit in explanation. “I know you and Amira don’t really want a baby.”

Fucking Kit. Why did he tell her? I’d like to punch him in his pretty face right now. I introduced him to Devin the fucking billionaire, and this is how he repays me?

“That’s not true. I’ll explain. Just let me finish this set, and we can go someplace quieter.”

She looks skeptical, but she’s not leaving, so I take that as a win. I turn my head away from her and glare at Kit, who shrugs his shoulders and lifts his hands palms-up. I shake my head back and forth. I’ll be laying into him later for telling her . . . whatever it is he told her. I’m not even sure what the hell I’m going to say to her. I can’t very well tell her the truth. She’d never have a baby for us then, but I’m not good at lying to people I care about, and I think I care about Lourdes.

Kit pokes my shoulder and speaks into my uncovered ear.

“What’s your problem, Chachi?”

He knows I hate it when he calls me that.

“What did you tell her?” I mouth the words in his direction so Lourdes won’t overhear us, not that she could in this place anyway. The only time you can hear anyone talk is when the music is on the downslide, ready to build back up.

“Nothin’ but the truth.”

That’s what I was afraid of. I pull him aside and hold up one finger at Lourdes to let her know I’ll only be a minute. The DJ booth is a huge, crescent-shaped extension over the dance floor. I stay as far away from Lourdes as I can be without letting her out of my sight.

“Elaborate.”

“I told her your wife is a bitchy twat that everybody, including you, hates. I told her there was no way you wanted a baby with that cow, and most importantly, I told her you were interested in her. I know you, Liam. You haven’t acted on your feelings for a woman since that nasty wifey of yours came on the scene. The fact that you invited her here, into the booth, where you never, ever let women join you . . . well, my gorgeous friend, I do believe you’re smitten.” He smiles and runs his finger along my shoulder.

“Yeah, well your little bout of honesty might have cost me any chance with her. If you know her, you know she’s a good girl. She won’t touch me as long as she knows I’m married, and now, on top of all that, she doesn’t trust me.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have lied to the sweet thing then.” Kit’s eyes narrow, and I realize he’s trying to help us both without knowing a big chunk of the story, so I fill him in.

“Kit, Amira has to have a kid so her father won’t cut her out of his will. I told her I’d go along with it if she would give me a divorce after the baby was born. It has to look like we’re giving our marriage all we have. Her dad has something about Amira’s reputation and failing at her marriage. He’s nuts. Now the old guy went and had a heart attack, so I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen, but I don’t want to scare this girl off, so no more sharing about my life. Got it?”

He’s smiling a big, obnoxious smile that says he knows something that I don’t.

“What?”

“You’s in love, gorgeous. Whew! I never thought I’d see it happen!” He sings, waving his pointer fingers around my face.

“Stop it, Kit.” I swat his hands away, but he just laughs.

“I gotchu, big boy. It’s a circus show, but I see why you want me to hush.” He holds his fingers to his lips and turns an imaginary key to lock them shut and throws it over his shoulder.

I need to get back to the controls and to Lourdes, but when I turn around, she’s gone. She must have slipped out when I was arguing with Kit. I race to where we were just standing and look out over the club. I see her pushing her way across the dance floor. She’s almost to the door. I can’t let her leave. I have to talk to her.

I’ve never interrupted one of my sets, but this is an emergency. I cut the music and the lights. Everyone gasps and a few people shout. Glow sticks slow, and everyone’s looking around in confusion. Somebody even yells, Who forgot to pay the power bill? I take the mic.

“Lourdes, do not leave.” The words echo through the quiet club. I see the sparkles on her pink dress shimmer in the emergency floodlights that came on automatically when the power went out. She freezes when she hears me say her name. Then I calm the crowd.

“It’s cool, guys. Hold on a sec and I’ll get things back on. Just had to make sure someone special didn’t leave yet. You all understand that, right? The night’s young. We can’t quit now!” I yell and pump my fist in the air, and they roar in agreement. They’re my people. They don’t care what I say as long as I’m saying it to them. “Ok, people, let’s get ready to move!” My hype man yells, and I switch the light show back on and ease the music up.

I’ve had my eye on Lourdes, who is frozen next to a pillar on the far side of the dance floor. Kit saw her too and went down to detain her while I pass off control of the booth to my apprentice.

When I reach her, I don’t let her speak and I don’t make eye contact. I take her hand and lead her through the bar. Most people step aside and allow us to pass. A few are out of it, though, and I steer her away from them. Why did I think this was a good idea again? Fiction on a Friday night is wild. It’s the weekend, and people are out to have as much fun as possible. I do my best to keep drugs out of the club, but for many, it’s part of the experience. If she had come last night, things would have looked a little more respectable.

I lead her down a short flight of stairs to my office. Once inside, the sudden quiet is unsettling. I let go of her hand and cross the room to get a bottle of water from the fridge, leaving her standing just inside the door, wide-eyed and ready to bolt.

“Water?” I ask.

She looks left and then she looks right.

“Uh, sure.” I hand her the bottle and sit in one of the chairs arranged in front of my desk. She follows and perches on the edge of her seat opposite me.

“Liam, I don’t know what we could possibly have to talk about. Kit made it pretty clear that you and Amira don’t get along, and this . . .” She says, gesturing toward the door that leads to the wild club full of extreme partiers that she just witnessed firsthand thanks to me.

“This is not a lifestyle for a father. This isn’t even the lifestyle for a married man.”

“Exactly.”

Her face is void of all expression until she repeats my word.

“Exactly?”

That’s what I wanted to tell you, Lourdes. This is my life. This is who I was, and the kind of people I associated with every day until Amira tricked me into marrying her six months ago.”

“She tricked you? Yeah, sure. I’m not as worldly as you are, but I’m also not naive. People don’t get tricked into marriage. They get drunk and make bad decisions maybe, but—”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. Amira drugged me. She, or someone she hired—I’ll never know—injected me with a combination of ketamine and amphetamines after a show in Germany last year. I don’t remember anything, but the entire night was documented by the paparazzi, right down to the wedding.”

The unopened bottle of water slips in her hand, falling into her lap, and her deep, dark eyes fill with tears. I hate telling this fucking story. It’s humiliating.

“Liam, I . . . I don’t know what to say. That’s horrible.”

“There isn’t anything to say. I just wanted you to know there is no love between my wife and me. Our marriage is a total sham.”

“Why are you still married to her then? How could you live every day with such a monster?”

I reach across and remove the water bottle from her lap. It’s beginning to sweat on her pretty dress. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees to look her directly in the eyes.

“Her father is the wealthiest oil tycoon in the world. He has no time to deal with a bratty, spoiled daughter who defies him with everything she does. Amira refused to go to college, she hung out in clubs and raves, and did drugs and drank to get his attention, and it infuriated him. Marrying me was the last straw. He flipped and told her he wouldn’t be publicly humiliated any longer and that if she was going to go off and marry a DJ, she had better make it work.

He threatened her with her inheritance and her trust fund, and he promised to ruin my career if we failed. He knew she could never do it. He was punishing her for marrying beneath her without a prenuptial agreement. I was just becoming a household name, on the verge of a platinum album. I couldn’t take any risks. I didn’t know what kind of connections he might have. Amira’s father has unlimited resources. He could have squashed me.”

“So you just stayed with her? Have you been . . .?” Her sentence trails off and she looks away.

“Faithful? Yes, but only because I didn’t want Amira’s father to catch me cheating. Paparazzi are everywhere. There are cameras and videos shooting all the time in this business. I left the country to tour in Europe and she moved into my house without my knowledge. I found her when I came home for a quick weekend three months later, and we had it out. She told me some sad shit about her childhood, and I’m a sucker, so I let her stay when I went back to the tour.

“Did you ever act like you were married?”

“If you’re asking if we had sex, the answer is yes, a few times. I sort of just played along and hoped she would get tired of waiting for me to come home, but she didn’t. When I got back, I told her I wanted a divorce, and then she hit me with this baby plan. I thought I could do it. I thought I’d be able to figure it all out until now.”

“What’s different now?”

I reach across the small space between us and take her hands in mine. I watch a shiver run through her from the contact. Her hands are soft and warm, and our arms have formed a bridge between our knees. I look down and brush my thumb over her knuckles.

I want to tell her that she is what makes it different now, but that would scare her away. I want to tell her she is irresistible and fascinating, but I can’t say that either.

“I’m well established in my career. The world knows me. My fans love me, and they’re devoted, loyal people who wouldn’t believe anything a rich oil tycoon said about me. She doesn’t really have any money of her own. Her father controls it all, and we didn’t have a prenuptial agreement. If she gets pissed at me and her father disowns her, she’s going to take half of everything I’ve worked ten years to build.

She shakes her head and closes her eyes.

“Wait, I don’t get it. So you want a divorce, her dad’s going to strip her of her name and money, and now you want a baby together? I’m still confused.”

The urge to smooth a tiny wisp of her hair on her forehead is just too strong. I reach up and half expect her to flinch, but she doesn’t. She holds still, and after I’ve made her flawless again, I cup her cheek in mine and hold her eyes. I can’t hold back any longer. I need to tell her how I feel.

“Nothing about this makes sense, especially what I’m feeling for you.”

If I weren’t a very disciplined man, I would take advantage of this moment and kiss her. God, I want to, but no matter how fucked up my marriage is, I can’t risk my future or my business.

I drop her hands, stand up, and begin to pace the length of the room while she follows me with her eyes.

“Liam.”

Her voice is hushed, barely audible, but it stops my pacing and I turn to her.

“I feel it too. It’s the most complicated thing. It’s wrong but so right at the same time.”

She tilts her head to the side, and that tiny line that I’m beginning to favor appears between her eyes. She’s thinking. Amira never thinks. She just talks with no filter. Shit just flies out of her mouth, and she doesn’t care who she hurts with her words.

“I know it’s insane. I never wanted to be married. I didn’t even want a long-term relationship. I was a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. And now, ironically, I’m stuck in a marriage with a woman I can’t stand when I find someone I want to start a relationship with.”

She blinks like a bright light has been shone into her eyes.

“And the baby?”

I sigh and push my hands deep into my pockets.

“Amira is convinced if we have a baby it will get her dad off her back. She says it will look like we really tried, and she doesn’t think he would turn his back on her if she gives him a grandbaby.”

She raises her eyebrows high, and I know what she’s thinking.

“I know it’s a terrible reason to bring a child into the world. At first, I was going to just let her suffer. After all she’s done to me, I thought, why not, ya know?”

“But you’re not.” She shakes her head back and forth.

“No. I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I know how it is to have a piece of shit for a father. She’s only a product of her environment. It’s not her fault there were no limits or discipline when she was being raised. Don’t get me wrong. She’s not a good person. I mean, she’s rotten to the core with no morals or values, but it’s his fault. If I abandon her and leave her penniless, I’m no better than he is.”

Two tears spring from her glassy eyes and race down her cheeks. She swipes them away as if she’s embarrassed.

“You’re a good man, Liam Wild. Much better than any I’ve ever known.”

“No I’m not. Even though it’s a terrible idea, I still want to have a baby. It’s the only way I can get rid of her.”

“I’m not clear on how that’s going to work. I mean, having a baby ties you together forever, and if she’s as bad as you say she is, won’t she be a horrible mother?”

“Amira wouldn’t last through one dirty diaper change with a baby. I’m fully aware that the child will end up with me. It’s what I want. Her father secretly agreed to let us divorce after the baby is born. All he wants is to punish Amira and force her home to Nigeria and into the arms of some proper African dignitary. He can’t stand his daughter’s blatant insolence. She’s an embarrassment, a failure, and that man doesn’t fail at anything.”

“I thought you loved your life before Amira. Don’t you want to go back to being a playboy?”

I sit back down across from her and lean back in my chair, mirroring her position.

“I want something different now.”

She looks away, fidgeting in her chair. I suspect she knows she is the reason I’ve started wanting something different. She’s the reason I’ve started dreaming of children and family and settling down. That kind of life was never supposed to be part of my future. My parents weren’t exactly great role models, and I loved my lifestyle until this mess with Amira. I never expected to want the things Lourdes makes me want. I hardly know her, but without even trying, she’s opened up a world of possibilities and given me hope for a different kind of future.

“Will you have our baby, Lourdes? I need you to. Please, I don’t want anyone else carrying my child.”

She closes her eyes tight, and I watch her wring her hands together in her lap. She’s going to say no. I can’t let her say no. If she leaves tonight knowing all that she knows and I haven’t convinced her, it’s over.

“Liam, this situation is just so volatile. So many things could happen. I just feel like it’s a bad idea. What if Amira’s father helps her take the baby away to Nigeria? What if she uses the baby as leverage to keep you? What if you change your mind and want to tour after all, and the baby’s left with a nanny all the time? I just can’t . . .”

She covers her face with her hands and tips her head back. I stand and push my chair away from me and kneel in front of her. She lifts her hands, still shielding her eyes, and lowers her chin until she is looking directly at me. I want to open her legs and press against her, but I don’t. Instead, I fix her with a look that I’ve been told could convince a starving man to give up his sandwich.

“I promise none of those things will happen. I’ll get the best lawyer money can buy to put all of your concerns to rest if you will do this. I’m going to have custody of the child. Amira’s going to run off with the first guy who shows her any attention, and you and I can . . .”

Her hands are on her cheeks now. Her beautiful lips are parted, her breath is shallow, and I can see her heart rate quicken when an artery in her neck pulses faster.

Her voice is a whisper.

“You and I can what?”

I have to lean back on my heels to put distance between us, because I need her like a drug addict needs a hit. Everything about her screams take me, but I can’t.

“You can be mine.”

Her tongue briefly slips out to dampen her dry lips before she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth. I lean forward, unable to hold back a second more. I have to taste her. I need to touch her.

There’s a knock at the door and I freeze. We are nose to nose, and Lourdes is gripping the arms of her chair, panting tiny puffs of breath against my lips.

“You should get that,” she whispers, and I nod and stand. When I’ve taken two steps toward the door, the knock comes again.

“I’m coming. Keep your fucking pants on.” I open the door and it’s Kit. He breezes past me without so much as an invitation.

“I should say the same to you, Chachi. What are you doing down here, Lovey? We came to have the dancing and drinking kind of fun, not the canoodling office desk pounding kind. Let’s go.” He pulls her up out of her chair and starts to drag her out of my office with his nose stuck up in the air. I grab her hand, and her body jerks to a stop between us.

“Liam, let her go have fun.”

Lourdes is looking back and forth between Kit and me. She’s torn, but Kit is right. They should have fun. I let go of her hand.

“Go have a good time. Start a tab, Kit. It’s all on me. I have to get back up there anyway,” I say, looking at my feet and shooing them out the door with both hands. I hear her heels clicking away with Kit, and when I know she’s out of my reach, I lift my eyes and watch her perfect backside climb the steps back into the club. Jealousy surges through me when I close the door. Jealousy. Now that’s a new one. In fact, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever felt jealous of a man for having a woman that I wanted. Not that I have anything to worry about—she’s not exactly Kit’s type. But there are a lot of men out there tonight whose roaming eyes will be all over her in that fucking pink dress. I think I hate that pink dress.