Chapter Twenty-Seven

An hour and a half later I found myself in a little piece of heaven. The drive through the state park was breathtaking. So much foliage, and the fall colors were starting to peek through. My head kept turning, trying to get it all in.

“I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“I’m surprised too.”

“My, uh . . .”

Reed rested his hand on my knee. “You can say his name.”

I took a breath and let it out. “Neil wasn’t much for this kind of thing.”

“But you are?”

“I love it. Looks like a great place for a bike ride.”

“Had I known you loved to bike, I could have put my bike rack on and we could have brought bikes up. They have some great biking trails around here.”

“I haven’t had a bike in years, but I’m going to change that.”

“If you want help shopping for one, let me know.”

“I will.” I kept my focus outside. It was easier that way. Reed was quite honestly scaring me. The boy I knew was fading away and being replaced with not only a man, but what appeared to be a good one. I wasn’t sure how to process that.

We passed several other campers on our way. Some in RVs, some doing it the old-fashioned way in tents. Reed pulled into a secluded camping spot, just like he had promised.

Once he put the jeep in park, Reed turned my way. “You have time, right? Cody’s staying with his grandma tonight?”

“Yeah,” I was reluctant to say.

“Do you want to hit one of the trails first and take a walk? I know it’s more than just dinner, but we still have plenty of daylight.” He moved his shades up to rest on his ball cap. His eyes were asking me to seriously consider this change of plans. Or was this his plan all along?

I tucked some hair behind my ear and tried to decipher the ping-pong match in my head. Yes or no? Good idea or bad? The game was evenly matched. Agreeing meant elongating the date. Saying no meant hurting his feelings and perhaps missing out on what could be a great time.

“There’s a beautiful waterfall I want to show you,” he sweetened the deal. “And fires are better lit in the dark. Don’t you agree?”

Did he lean in closer? Yes, he did. I could see the violet specks in his gorgeous blue eyes. I lost my head and nodded my agreement.

“Great, it’s settled then. I’ll come around and get your door. Hang tight.”

I needed to hyperventilate, but didn’t have time. The car ride was perfect. Safe, even. Now that we were here, the date felt real.

Before I knew it, he was opening my door and holding out his hand.

I stared at his hand, unsure.

He reached in and took mine with a sultry smile. “I know it’s been a while for you, but this is how we do things now.” He gave my hand a gentle tug and out I came. Without letting go of my hand, he reached in and grabbed his fleece jacket. “Just in case your jean jacket isn’t enough to keep you warm.”

The weather was beautiful now—in the low seventies, high-sixties, I would guess—but I knew that wouldn’t last long, especially being this close to Lake Michigan.

“Good call. Thank you.”

He shut the door, locked the jeep, and looked down at our clasped hands. “Is this okay?”

I took a second to think, but was finding it difficult. “Honestly, I don’t know. This is all new for me. And it’s you.”

“It is me.” He drew me closer. “I don’t want to push you or make you feel uncomfortable.”

My heart skipped a beat. “I am uncomfortable, but it’s not because of you.”

He ran his calloused thumb across my hand. More of the boy was slipping away. I realized I wanted to hold on to that part of him; if I saw only the man drawing me in with his eyes and body, I knew I would have decisions to make. I would have to feel again.

Vulnerability scared me more than anything. My heart knew, though, that you could never have total intimacy without it. That’s what my marriage had lacked for years—honest and complete intimacy. Far more potent than sex or physical touch, an intimate, emotional connection made every aspect of a relationship better, or worse when it was absent.

But this was only a date. A one-time thing.

“What can I do to help you feel more comfortable?”

I took a moment to really look at him. I was amazed by his thoughtfulness. “Uncomfortable isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it’s time I get out of my comfort zone.”

If that’s even what I had been in. Whatever zone it was, I wanted out of it. I wanted to feel anything but the pain and loneliness that had enveloped me for months.

“I’m happy to help you out.” He pulled me along. “Just remember, we’re here to have a good time.”

That made me feel better. He obviously wasn’t looking for anything serious. Like I said, we would probably look back on this one day and have a good laugh. A remember when we went on that date? His future wife would look at me and think, you went out with her? She’s old. Though he did like older women, so maybe she’d think I was young. My brothers would tease me and we would move on. Hopefully by then I would be moved on from my current state of being. I might even be happily married myself. Obviously, I was thinking way into the future.

Our clasped hands swayed between us as we walked the dirt path, breathing in the end of summer air. The smell of barbecue and campfire tickled my nose.

“Do you come here often?” I asked.

“It’s been a long time.”

“Was this another one of your make-out spots?”

With a playful grin, he took his ball cap off and did his best to place it on my head. He didn’t account for my thick, unruly curls, but he managed to make it stay. “You’re the first woman I’ve brought up here.”

I looked around at the beauty that surrounded us. “It’s gorgeous. Thank you. I needed to get away.”

“The best is yet to come.” He picked up the pace and took me along for the ride.

I heard it before I saw it. The sound of rushing water played in the background. Reed deftly maneuvered us off the trail and led us through the grass and brush to a small, worn path that led to the river and waterfall. The falls expanded the width of the river, and what it lacked in height, it made up in beauty with breath-taking rock formations.

“Let’s go sit on the bank.” Reed’s voice was filled with a childlike excitement.

I followed him. He seemed to know exactly where he wanted to land. It was the perfect spot. It was as if the two flat rocks were placed there for our use. Reed helped me sit down before joining me. The rock was warm from catching the sun’s rays, which now landed on me.

I took Reed’s hat off, closed my eyes, and breathed in the peace of the river and the sound of the falls. Nature was breathing life into me.

“This is heaven.”

“Yes, it is.”

I opened my eyes to find Reed staring at me. Suddenly, I felt shy. That was a feeling long dormant. I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked out over the expanse of the river. A fish jumped out to catch his dinner.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

I rested my head on my arms and looked his way. The sun illuminated his handsome features, adding more sparkle to his eyes. “It’s been a long time since someone has found me beautiful.”

He grasped one of my curls and ran his fingers down it. “I doubt that. They just weren’t brave enough to tell you. It took me twenty years. Granted, you were married most of that time, or dating idiots like Ben Averill.” His grinned turned wicked.

I nudged him with my shoulder. “He was a nice guy, until he broke up with me.”

He pressed his lips together as if he was debating on what to say next. “Peter and I caught him kissing Mandy Olson.”

I sat up. “What?” Ben told me he hated Mandy Olson.

“Peter may have punched him. And I threatened to tell everyone that he—you know, maybe I’ll keep that to myself since I’m in the presence of a lady.”

That piqued my interest, but I didn’t press him. And I could guess.

“Anyway, we made him promise to break up with you.”

“Peter never said anything.”

“The guy was a loser. We didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“That seems to be my lot in life. Cheaters.” The waterfall became my focus again.

“Hey.” He rubbed my arm.

I met his concerned eyes.

“Your ex is a special kind of stupid. But let’s change the subject. We’re here to have fun. And I have the most amazing dinner and dessert planned.” He stood up and reached his hand out. This time I took it without hesitating.

“You’re a fast learner,” he teased. “Before you know it, you’ll be grabbing my hand first tonight.” He pulled me up.

“You think so?”

He gave my hand a squeeze. “I hope so.”

~*~

As the sun sank down below the horizon, I found myself next to Reed in a camp chair, eating the most delectable foil dinner of garlic shrimp and potatoes, and listening to the cricket’s chirp and the fire crackle. The glow of the fire warmed me, as did the man next to me. He couldn’t have been more thoughtful. Foil packets with apple crisp sat baking in the coals, only proving what an exceptional human Reed was. I loved apple crisp. The sweet smell of the apples and cinnamon in the air only added to the ambiance. And although I thought I would be too nervous to eat, I found I was more than comfortable and hungry.

Using my fork, I pointed at the food on my paper plate. “You weren’t lying. This is amazing. Thank you.”

“I’m happy you’re enjoying it. I wasn’t sure if you liked seafood.”

“Love it.”

“Duly noted.” He took a bite of his own food, chewed, and swallowed. “What other things do you love?”

“Food-wise?”

“Food, wine, movies, sports—please say football. Men preferences?”

I laughed. “Definitely love football. Men are questionable, unless I’m related to them and even then, Peter and James push it.”

His laughter filled the chilly night air. “We will see what we can do about your aversion to the opposite sex.”

“That’s a tough job.”

“I know. I’ve been reading your blog. Do you really think all men are evil and must die?”

“You took that out of context. I said, ‘must be destroyed,’ not ‘die.’”

“I’m pretty sure I read it exactly the way you intended it.”

“You know, my rules state no men allowed.”

“It says no husbands, so I qualify.”

“Come to think of it, you would make a good wife for someone.”

He fluttered his eyes. “These hairy legs don’t look great in heels, but I did get an A in home economics.”

“Let me guess. You wanted to meet pretty girls.”

“That’s still my objective in life.”

“Hmm. I bet.”

“Judging by the woman sitting next to me, I do okay in that department.”

I leaned over and nudged him with my shoulder. That’s how the rest of our night went. Playful conversation, good food, and laughter, lots of laughter. Best night in a long time. So good, we lost track of time and didn’t leave until well after midnight. Then Reed made it more adventurous—we drove home with the top down on his jeep, the heater blowing on me all the way home, the wind whipping through my hair. The twinkle-filled night sky made up for the chilly air.

I almost felt like a teenager again. Especially when the moment came. You know the one. The door scene. He insisted on walking me to the door even though I thought he should leave me and take off. I didn’t want anyone to see us together. But since it was two in the morning by the time we arrived, he thought the gentlemanly thing to do was make sure no one was lurking in the bushes or my house. I assured him I had a great alarm system, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

He walked around to get my door. Hand holding was part of the package again. And maybe there was a tingle there when he took it. And maybe I was a little too tired and not thinking straight, because I found myself staring up at him and wanting to run my hand across his stubbled cheek. Not only that, I longed to get lost in his eyes. Eyes that no longer held a mischievous boy’s glint, but the look of a man who yearned.

“Thank you,” I whispered into the still night.

“Let’s get you inside.” He was using hushed tones too.

I followed his lead, paying attention to the way his thumb brushed my hand and how close he walked next to me. The smell of campfire and his cologne made me feel some other things. Was that desire? It had been so long.

We walked up the porch steps, slow and deliberate, taking cover under the porch, landing at the door.

I looked down at our hands. He didn’t seem in a hurry to let go. I lifted my head to meet his gaze. “I had great time.”

“Me too.” He drew closer and took my other hand. The space between us began to evaporate. What was he doing? He leaned in, his breath was warm. His lips, oh, his lips were—

A stupid, girlish giggle escaped me.

His head popped up in shock, maybe embarrassment.

I knew I felt both. I sighed. “I feel like I say this a lot to you, but I’m sorry.”

In my defense, though, I wasn’t expecting a goodnight kiss, and I never imagined us kissing.

He dropped one of my hands and inched back. Consternation flashed in his eyes. “Sam, I’m not a child.”

“I know.”

The yearning was back in his eyes, erasing the frustration from the seconds before. “Close your eyes.”

My eyes did the opposite and widened.

His smile said he wasn’t deterred. He edged forward, running his hand through my wind-blown hair. “Close your eyes, Sam.”

As if hypnotized by the sound of his sultry voice, my eyes fell shut. With my eyes closed, my other senses were heightened. The finger he ran down my cheek left a trail of sparks in its wake. His lips took over where his finger left off. He blazed a path of soft kisses leading to the corner of my mouth. I held my breath in anticipation. He let it brew and stir while he hovered near my lips, teasing me with his warm breath. There was a passion and an angst I had never experienced before.

His hands went to work cupping my face. My own hands landed on his chest and instantly liked what they felt. They, of their own accord, moved over his defined chest. And before I knew it, Reed brushed my lips with his, testing the waters. After one more gentle caress, he pressed his lips against mine. My hands glided up his chest and around his neck. His tongue invited my lips to part, giving me a taste of what he had to offer. It was sweet and sensual. And over too soon.

When he backed away, my eyes fluttered open. The kiss ended so abruptly, I wondered if maybe I had done something wrong. Or maybe I was horribly out of practice and he hadn’t reveled in it the way I had.

My eyes locked with his under the light of my porch. In front of me stood a man that left me wanting.

His penetrating gaze, his stance, they all said one thing—see me.

I saw.