Chapter Eighteen
Alistair
When I wake up the next morning, I’m still on a complete high from our date the night before.
It was one of the best nights of my life.
And even I’m aching the next day, from all the things we did together. I swear I have scratch marks down my back, a bite mark on my chest I don’t even remember getting, and…damn. I’m still horny enough I want to rip Leah’s clothes off and go again, pretty much every moment I see her.
I’m not sure whether it’s a good thing or not that I leave early enough that doesn’t quite happen.
And when I head to the office, some of that urgency shifts, as I remember exactly what happened on the way out yesterday. Something I was very careful to push aside at the time, because I’m not having Barkley saying something like that and then spoiling our time together too - but just because I could ignore it for a time, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten it in the slightest.
By the time I actually get in, the frustration and anger I’ve started feeling whenever I’ve seen him recently has settled into my blood. And as soon as I start walking down the halls towards his office, that starts to seethe.
I don’t say anything to his secretary. I don’t knock.
For the second time in as many weeks.
When I walk in, he’s in the middle of talking to someone else. But I don’t care.
“Out.”
The guy - one of our people from operations, I think - looks up at me in shock.
Glances between us.
And then hurries out of the room.
That gives me some mild satisfaction.
If he’d had more balls - or been more stupid - he would’ve waited for Barkley to agree. But no one wants to deal with me when I’m feeling like this.
I stalk up to Barkley’s desk - for once he doesn’t have his feet on it - and plant my hands to either side, leaning in. I can see the irritation on his face - probably still from that guy’s departure - but I don’t care.
“What the fuck did you say to Leah yesterday?!”
Barkley looks back at me, unimpressed.
“Did she tell you what she said to me?” He asks, derisively.
“Yes, she did, actually. She got it pretty much on point, too.”
His face twists into a scowl, but I’m not waiting for him.
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing, Barkley, but you back the fuck away from Leah or I swear to god—”
“You swear you’ll what?” He challenges. “I’m just saying it as it is. You don’t want to hear it, that’s your fucking problem, but I won’t have you bringing this business down because some hussy you fucked got pregnant and came back for your money.”
My hands squeeze into fists, and it takes all my well-known self-control to stop me from punching the guy in the face. I can’t stop myself from stepping closer, though - and I get a brief flash of satisfaction from the hint of anxiety that appears in his expression for a moment. In business we may be equals - but I have the edge on him physically, and I always have done. If it actually came to it, I doubt he’d land a punch before he was on the floor. Plus, I’ve always suspected he’s kind of a pussy about these things.
“You’re wrong about Leah, so fucking wrong. But I don’t give a damn what you think, and I don’t have to tell you that - it’s my family. It’s personal. Show some god-damn respect, and next time she comes here - because she will be, Barkley - give her the fucking apology she deserves—”
“Get a paternity test.” He interrupts. “Until you do that, the only apology she deserves is for what a fucking bitch you are. And she won’t be coming here again. You might be determined to wreck this business—”
“Oh for fuck’s sake. I’m not wrecking the business. And you can shut the hell up about—”
“Have you seen these?” He raises an eyebrow at me, infuriatingly calm to my ready-to-explode state.
And I always prefer being calm in an argument. Emotions screw you over. But in this case…anything else would be impossible.
He slams some papers down on the desk under me, and I glance down.
Magazines. Glossy, shiny, girly things.
I frown.
Then he flicks each one open to a specific page.
And I see Leah splashed right across it. Maddie. And me.
‘Does the billionaire playboy have a kid?’
‘Who’s the girl, Sinclair?’
‘Bachelor no more?’
‘Business tycoon’s secret affair!’
‘The secret life of—’
I stop reading. I force my head up, and look back at Barkley’s triumphant expression, even as pictures of Leah and Maddie flash across my vision and something deeply unsettling stirs within me.
“I didn’t know you read gossip mags, Barkley.”
“I pay attention to anything that affects our business - as you should be doing. And that—” he waves to the magazines open below us. “—that, is a threat to our stock price. You should know by now there’s no such thing as a personal life, not in a public company. And your stupid obsession with this girl could kill—”
“It’s affecting our stock price?!” I can’t help it, I stare at him. Incredulous.
That’s pictures of my little girl in those magazines. Pictures of me playing with her. Of Leah.
That’s their privacy. Our lives.
I have always, always cared about my business. I’ve worked myself to the bone to get it where I want it to be.
But fuck the stock price.
“Yes, and we need to deal with it. Forget your ranting and raging, Alistair - for god’s sake, do some thinking. I was going to talk to you about this anyway. You’ve refused every suggestion I’ve made - every sensible, rational decision. And this is the consequence. So get your damned act together, and sort it out.”
He stands up, pacing, as if this is some other business problem we’re brainstorming together. As if this is any other meeting. I’d stop him, but I’m just stunned. I can’t believe anything that’s happening right now.
“The only way to fix this is to come out ahead of it. These are only gossip mags now, but you’re popular enough - or you were - that the stories will go mainstream eventually. And then your reputation could plummet - the company could plummet. But if we do a few choice interviews, spin it so that it doesn’t sound like you’re being completely taken for a ride - even if you are - then we could fix it. She was dirt poor, right, this girl? Certainly had a mouth from the fucking streets, anyway. We could make it a Cinderella story - how you saved this girl, and her kid, and—”
I lose it.
I completely fucking lose it.
I twist, seizing the chair behind me and throw it across the room with the kind of strength I didn’t even know I had. With the kind of strength I don’t have, usually.
Barkley jumps back, staring at me with eyes bugging out of his head. The chair misses and crashes into one of the glass walls - which is far too high quality to break, even with the weight of the chair - and I take a step towards Barkley, feeling more menacing and dangerous than I ever have in my life.
“Fuck off.” Adrenaline surges through me, and I can feel blood pulsing in every vein in my body. “No. No to everything. No to your fucked up ideas. No to this whole fucking thing - that you created. My life isn’t a media spotlight. My family’s life isn’t an expose or feature piece. Give me a business problem, and I’ll solve it like I always have. But if you ever mention any of this shit again - ever - I will beat the living daylight out of you. If it sinks the company. If it lands me in jail. If it ruins my whole fucking life. I’ll ruin yours first.”
I turn around, leaving Barkley pale and sweating, and storm out of the office.
I don’t stop there. I storm all the way down the hall, and into the elevator.
I leave the whole damn building, and I have no intentions of going back.
Not today.
Right now, I’m thinking maybe not ever.
* * *
I didn’t spend more than thirty minutes at work, but I’m still home late.
It takes that long for me to try and calm myself. To cool down.
To think about those magazines, what they might mean, what we can do. To think about what on earth I’m going to tell Leah.
They are only gossip magazines. Not that mainstream. Not yet - and maybe not at all. Barkley has a way of exaggerating these things.
And…at worst, they do eventually die down. The media storm that hit me weeks ago was starting to fade, just about. I’d stopped taking interviews and there was nothing left to say about me.
Until now, at least. I have no idea where they got the story, but I guess it wouldn’t have been hard if someone was still watching. I haven’t exactly tried to hide Maddie.
I close my eyes as I think of those pictures - in the park, at the aquarium, at the movies…all the places my little girl has been watched. It makes me feel ill.
But at least now I’ve stopped boiling with rage. I’ve stopped wanting to hit something. I’ve stopped fantasizing about punching Barkley’s smug, arrogant face…well, mostly, anyway.
I spent the day walking around the city, around the parks I’ve been to with Maddie and Leah, just trying to cool off.
It took a fucking long time, but I finally feel like I can come home. To the two people who really might make everything okay again.
When I get back, there are leftovers waiting on the side and they’ve obviously already had dinner - which makes me feel bad yet again. There’s no sign of Mathilda or Tommy tonight, but I’ve put them up in a flat nearby until they work out what they want to do, so they won’t be far if they did want to come round.
Leah looks up from where she’s reading Maddie a story, curled up on the couch with our little girl. My heart melts just at the sight of them - my two favorite people, so comfortable and cozy together. That feeling of family that I’d never had before. That’s what it means.
That image right there.
Maddie jumps up when she sees me, running over.
“Daddy!”
I smile, I can’t help it, and lift her up to spin her around a couple of times, hugging her close.
And if I hug her a little closer than usual? If something tugs at me, tells me that maybe I’m fucking this up, maybe I’ve failed her somehow…well, I swallow that down.
Leah follows, and wraps her arms around me when I finally settle a giggling Maddie down again. She looks up at me with a naughty smile, and I can see the same heated look in her eyes that I left her with this morning.
“I’ve been thinking about you today.” She murmurs, brushing my ear with her lips.
My body reacts - there’s no way it can’t, to that kind of thing. Plus, she’s wearing one of my favorite jeans-and-top combos that we bought yesterday, and her perfect curves are on full display. It’s almost enough to distract me.
But when I meet her eyes and try to return the smile, her expression fades, clouding over.
“What’s wrong?” She asks immediately.
Cursed intuition.
“Nothing.” I shrug, not really wanting to talk about it. Not wanting her to worry about something that might not even matter.
“You look tired.” She glances over at the clock. “I guess it was a pretty long day.”
“Not long, just…difficult.” I sigh. I might not want to worry her, but I’m not going to hide anything from her either. “I had a little altercation with Barkley today, that’s all.”
Her gaze narrows, and she works it out immediately.
“Over what he said to me?”
I nod.
“Ohh, Alistair. I really didn’t want to make things hard for you—”
I raise a hand, caressing her face as I shake my head hard. “You didn’t do anything. It was all him - don’t doubt that, baby.”
She frowns, but I see her relent, and she leans in to kiss me again, just lightly across the lips.
“Well, I’m sorry. I hope it works out.”
“Me too.” I say, then force myself to kick the bleak attitude when I see the concern in her expression. I smile instead. “I’m sure it will. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy for some of the people I work with to understand - me suddenly appearing with a kid. But it’ll work out. The world will get used to it, and the drama will subside.”
I catch the way she’s looking at me, and I’m not sure that was as reassuring as I wanted to make it - but Maddie starts fussing and she lets it go. I kiss her on the forehead, and try to keep my smile up.
“Can I listen to the story you were reading?”
She nods, smiling back, and her concern seems to ease as we cuddle up together on the couch. And as she starts reading, my mood slowly relaxes as well. Just listening to her voice more than what she’s saying - I probably only take in every other word, but it’s enough to get the idea of the story anyway. Typical princess locked in castle, saved by a prince in shining armor. It makes me smile, especially as I see Maddie’s fascination.
Whatever happens, nothing will change this.
It’s reassuring in a way that nothing else today has been. With these two girls in my life, we’ll be able to get through anything we need to. I just hope I don’t have to deal with anything that might upset them during it, as ridiculous as that hope is, because if today showed anything…it’s how fucking badly I deal with something threatening my family.
“Daddy?” Maddie interrupts my thoughts, and I try to refocus, smiling at her and ruffling her hair.
“Yes, baby girl?”
“Will you be my prince?”
I laugh, and I can’t help the warmth that spreads through me - enough that it seems it might even banish everything that I was just thinking about. I meet Leah’s eyes, and we share a smile.
“I think I’m supposed to be Mommy’s prince, sweetie.”
“Oh.” She thinks about this a moment, looking back at Leah. “Okay. Can I have a prince too someday?”
That question makes Leah laugh this time, and she gives me a knowing look.
“If he can ever get past the tower Daddy will lock you away in.”
I snort, shaking my head - even as my stomach drops at the idea.
That is something it’s way too early to be thinking about. Especially since now the idea is in my head, I’m pretty sure I will be thinking about it…for the next fourteen years.
Thanks, Leah.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” I murmur to her.
Maddie gasps, looking back at me with wide eyes.
“You’re going to lock me away in a tower? Like a real princess?”
She doesn’t seem as upset about that as I would’ve thought…
“Not if you’re good.” I smile at her, poking her on the nose.
“Is it a tower with a dragon?” She asks excitedly, seeming to miss my comment entirely. “I want a dragon! Do you think it will let me fly on it?”
My brow wrinkles. “A dragon? I thought you liked unicorns…”
“Can I have both? We could…have tea…in my tower.”
Leah is making muffled laughing sounds, and I’m doing my best to appear appropriately serious.
“Now you’re just being greedy, little girl.” I say, matter-of-factly.
“Okaaaay, just the dragon.”
She bounces off the couch and starts running around the room, flapping her arms and making swooshing noises.
Leah’s amusement turns to a groan. “These stories are meant to make her sleepy.”
I laugh, shaking my head - and then grab Maddie when she comes back near. She squeals, but lands firmly on my lap, and I hold her as she wriggles.
“Okay.” I say deliberately. “Maybe if you’re good, we’ll lock you in a tower with a dragon. But only if you get into bed…right…now.”
Maddie groans, but she does hop off and start walking towards her bedroom. I raise an eyebrow at Leah, impressed with myself, and she laughs.
“Okay, that was well done.”
“I think I’m getting better at this parenting thing.”
“You were pretty damn impressive to start with.” Leah admits, and my smile widens.
I lean in to kiss her, just softly with Maddie able to appear at any moment, but with the promise of something more later. Somehow, this time with them both has done wonders for my earlier agitation. Enough that I’m definitely interested in what was in Leah’s eyes when I walked in.
“That girl has some crazy fantasies, though.” I say, laughing as I start to stand up.
She pulls me back down, and leans in to murmur in my ear. “Maybe you bring them out of people.”
Lust shoots straight through me, and I can feel my cock start to harden instantly. Damn, this woman can do things to me.
“Oh really? That’s definitely something we’ll be exploring later, baby.”
She grins at me, and we separate to start getting Maddie ready to sleep. Even if I’m sure our thoughts are both heading in the same direction.
All thoughts of magazines and stories and worries about what might happen for our ‘five minutes of fame’ disappear as I start wondering what fantasies of Leah’s I haven’t explored yet…and what we might be able to do, with Maddie asleep in the room next to us.
Maddie seems to take the promise of towers and dragons to heart, because she settles easily - and then it’s just me, Leah, a big bed and unspoken fantasies to play with.
We’ve just got the wine and settled down on the bed to see where our thoughts lead us…when Maddie pushes the door open.
I bite back a groan.
“Mommy…can I sleep with you tonight? I miss you.”
Leah looks over at me, and my disappointment is reflected in her expression even as she shrugs helplessly, opening her arms for Maddie.
“Sure, baby girl.”
It’s fair - I had a whole day with Maddie, and then she spent yesterday with Tommy…she hasn’t had much Mommy time. And she hasn’t come into our room for a few nights now.
I sigh lightly, but I go put the wine away while they settle down. I doubt that Leah is sleepy - I’m sure as hell not - but she’s used to cuddling Maddie to sleep.
When I come back in, sure enough - Maddie is starting to doze off, and Leah is lying there with her eyes open.
I crouch down next to her, and lean forward to whisper into her ear.
“Keep hold of those crazy fantasies, baby. I’ll make sure we find time to put them to good use.”
She shivers at my voice, twisting slightly to brush a kiss over my lips - and then I leave them to it.
The problems with having kids.
Not that I’d change it for the world.