Chapter Eight
Alistair
This time, I’m actually whistling as I walk back to my office with my lunch.
I even left the office to get it myself, in an effort to work off some of the energy that had me wanting to dance around the office.
She said yes!
I thought she might tell me to go to hell for doing a little poking around and finding out where she was staying - but no, I got a message this morning accepting my offer. And, hopefully, my apology.
At least, I chose to take it that way.
Meredith takes one look at me as I come in, and actually chuckles.
“Yesterday went well then, I take it?”
“I think so. Meeting Maddie was just…insane. A daughter - fuck, who could believe it?” I give her a small grin. “I’ve got a second date too, so I can’t have fucked it up too badly.”
She raises an eyebrow at that. “A date, huh? Is that Maddie, or Leah that you’re trying to date now?”
“Well…” I pause. I’m not usually this open - not about this stuff, and not even with Meredith. But for some reason I’m feeling lighter than I usually do, and it comes easily. “Maybe both of them.”
Meredith’s gaze sharpens, and she gives me a long, weighty look. “That sounds…risky, Alistair. Particularly for the child.”
That’s exactly Leah’s problem too.
And I get it. I do. But…
I shrug. It’s not a decision anyway - it’s just the way I feel when I’m around her.
“I’m not sure I could do it any other way if I wanted to. And if it works - wouldn’t that be best for Maddie?”
“Maybe it would.” Meredith’s expression softens, and for a moment I get a glimpse of real compassion there - then she shifts back to her usual wry humor. “Either way, it’s good to see you so animated about something other than work - maybe I’ll be able to start working semi-reasonable hours for once—”
“Woah, woah, woah.” I hold up my hands, grinning at her. “Let’s not go too far with this, Meredith. Who else is going to cover for me while I’m off having fun?”
She shoots me an exasperated look.
“Speaking of, there were a few calls for you while you were out - and Barkley stopped by, had something he needed to talk to you about.”
“I was only gone for fifteen minutes.” I mutter, but it’s not like I’m surprised.
It’s the sort of fast-paced life I’ve lived for years - that I’ve thrived on for years. But sometimes it amuses me - makes me wonder what would happen to this place if I wasn’t here at all.
Probably not all that much.
There’d be someone else here to stress over it all - if I want to be generous, maybe the company would do a few less deals, get a little less business…but I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m irreplaceable.
And sometimes it’s fun to think I could take my billions and leave them all to it. Disappear.
Of course, the idea has always been absurd. I have no idea what I’d do - with the time, the money, any of it. Business is my life, and I’ve never found anything to match the thrill of closing that million dollar deal.
Then the image of playing with Maddie in the park yesterday flashes into my head, and I pause, suddenly disconcerted - before shaking the feeling off.
The idea of my daughter is…impossibly alluring. But this business is my whole life. And besides, the thought of her only makes me want to work harder - to provide for her, build something to give to her when she’s older, maybe. If she’s interested.
That makes me smile.
Legacy building, eh?
All those important values my father talked about that I never quite understood the point of…passing something down through the generations has never mattered before. But I guess that changes the moment you have a kid.
Though…with the company public, I’m not sure what kind of legacy this will end up being.
My smile doesn’t fade, though. Something to work towards. Another meaning to it all, maybe.
“Alistair?” Meredith cuts through my brief daydream, looking at me with a small amount of disbelief.
I’ve certainly never been one to get lost in thought before.
“Sorry, what was that?” I smile in her direction this time.
“I asked if you wanted the details of the calls now or later?” She deliberately ignores my lapse.
I glance over to the hall leading to Barkley’s office and shrug. “I should probably check in with Barkley first - if anything was urgent, forward it through to my desk, and I’ll deal with it over lunch.”
Her grin returns. “Not quite slacking off enough to eat lunch somewhere other than your desk, then.”
“Hah, no. That really would be a concern.”
I leave my sandwich on my desk, laughing to myself as I remember Maddie’s comments about sandwiches yesterday, and then walk past my office and down another corridor, towards Barkley’s office.
I nod to his secretary, Mia, but walk in without a word, just giving it a brief knock on my way past - to see him sitting with his feet up on his desk, scowling at something he’s sifting through.
He glances up as I come in, and grunts.
“Alistair - have you seen the latest from McCaffery & Co? Their numbers are appalling this quarter, and we were relying on them to boost our retail earnings. What the hell went wrong there?”
A frown flickers over my expression, but I just shrug. “No, I haven’t yet.”
McCaffery & Co are one of the many companies that make up our business, and their figures arrived on my desk this morning - along with several others. Since they’re part of the group I look after, it’s surprising Barkley has even had a chance to look through them yet - but I guess someone gave him a heads’ up.
“Not sure what you have been doing then…” He grouses, muttering something under his breath.
I ignore it - Barkley has always been like that when something unexpected hits him. Instead, I just shrug and offer him a smile.
“Thanks for flagging it - I’ll look through them this afternoon, and make a few calls to investigate. I’m sure I’ll work it out - and even if we need to intervene to turn it around, we’re doing well enough in that area with the other companies.”
He finally looks up at me, frowning.
“‘We’re doing well enough?’” He asks. “Since when is that good enough for you?”
I sigh, but it’s with a wry smile. Sometimes there’s no point trying to reassure Barkley.
“It isn’t - but we’ve dealt with worse blips before, and this isn’t going to sink us. We’ll sort it - but it’s not something to keep you awake at night, that’s all I’m saying.”
He grunts again, blatantly unimpressed, and I give a small laugh at his familiar quirks.
“I’ll look into it.” I promise, turning to go.
“Wait.”
I pause, and watch as his full focus narrows onto me - the papers he was flicking through dropping onto the desk as he swings his legs back to the ground.
“You’re in a fucking good mood today.” He asks, one eyebrow raised. “What did you do? Buy a yacht or something?”
This time I don’t hide my laugh.
“Yeah. You know I get seasick.”
“Oh, do you actually? I thought that was just an excuse to avoid my summer boat party.”
“That too.” I quip - though his unimpressed expression doesn’t change.
I’m about to turn and go, but I pause on the edge of it, still feeling the excitement of the last few days bubbling inside of me. Barkley might not be my first confidant - but why shouldn’t he know?
I’ve met Maddie, I’m planning on keeping her and Leah in my life for good…why shouldn’t I talk about it now?
So I give him a grin instead, and shake my head.
“Not a boat. But there has been something else going on these last few days.” I take a deep breath, and feel my heart flutters as I say it out loud. “Leah showed up again - my girlfriend, from years ago - and, well…I have a daughter. I met her yesterday.”
It feels good just to talk about her - to be able to say I have a daughter. It’s something I want him to know - I want everyone to know. I’m not quite over the wanting to shout it out to the world feeling.
Even if Barkley just stares at me.
I wait long enough that it starts becoming a little awkward, and then I shrug. I wasn’t exactly expecting him to be the most receptive, supportive audience, but still…it was worth it just to say the words.
I have a daughter.
“Maddie.” I say out loud. “Her name is Maddie.”
That breaks the stunned expression on his face, and he sits up sharply.
“What?”
I shrug again, and grin at him. “Yeah, I know. It took me by surprise too, but—”
“Are you serious, Alistair? Is this some kind of joke?” His expression starts darkening, and that breaks off my own grin.
“No.” I shake my head once, decisively. “I know it’s unexpected, but I wouldn’t joke about—”
“Fuck.”
“Hey, this is—” I start, beginning to get annoyed at his reaction.
“This is so fucked up, that’s what this is.” He gives me a disdainful glance that gets right under my skin. “I never took you for the kind of guy to get suckered in by something like that, but—”
“What?” I frown. “Suckered in by what, exactly?”
He raises an eyebrow, his best superior look. “Our business explodes. You get rich. Your face is plastered all over the news, you get profiled by the best gossip mags out there…and then one of your old fucks shows up here claiming that she had your kid? And you believed it?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” I say, letting out an irritated breath. “This isn’t some random hook-up - this is Leah. She’s not playing fucking games. Maddie is clearly mine—”
“Clearly.” He says, the sarcasm obvious. “God, I didn’t even think you wanted kids, and yet here you are - sentimental and stupid and defending this insanity. And what do you think everyone else is going to say, when you suddenly announce you have a kid? That’ll kill your reputation—”
My temper snaps.
“Oh, fuck no. You are not bringing that into…fuck it, I’m not listening to this anymore. Believe whatever the hell you like, but Maddie is my kid, and I couldn’t be happier right now. And anyone without their head stuck up their god-damned ass would be happy for me.”
I turn on my heel, seeing red and too furious to even look at him right now.
“Get a fucking paternity test!”
He calls it after me as I leave, and I slam the office door on that idea.
Mia looks up at me, wide-eyed and shocked, but I don’t even see her as I stalk back to my office, seething with anger.
How dare he?!
Of course Barkley’s reaction would be small-minded and cynical, but going that far?!
Fucking hell.
“Alistair?”
I barely hear Meredith’s concerned tone.
“I want McCaffrey & Co’s accounts on my desk in five minutes.” I snap at her, slamming my own office door as well.
I have a moment where I feel a little bad about it, but then anger swamps it. It’s not like she’s not used to my moods anyway - it’s just part of her job.
Leah’s right. You’re an asshole to work for sometimes.
I can’t bring myself to care right now. Or to sit down. Or look at accounts. Instead, I’m practically tearing up the carpet as I pace around the room, my nerves singing from my conversation with Barkley.
I don’t care about his opinion - it has absolutely no bearing on my private life, and I know how wrong he is. But the insults there…to Leah and Maddie, too…
I’m still throwing dagger glares around the room when Meredith knocks a couple of minutes later - letting herself in without ceremony. I see the papers in her hands, glare at them for a moment, and then spin on my heel.
“I’m going out.”
She doesn’t stop me as I sweep past her, grabbing my jacket and marching down the hall.
Fuck the accounts. There’s no way I’ll be able to look at them without thinking of Barkley, and wanting to punch that disdainful expression off his face.