Chapter Fourteen
Alistair
“Mommy!” We both jerk awake at the scream. “Mommy, Mommy!”
Leah curses, her reaction time a hell of a lot better than mine - and she’s stumbling out of bed before I’ve even sat up, my heart thumping in my chest.
She grabs a shirt of mine off the armchair to the side of my room, tugging it on as she pulls the door open, calling out.
“I’m here, I’m here - what’s wrong?”
I’m only a few moments behind her, pulling on pants at the same time as I appear in the doorway - to see Maddie flinging her arms around Leah and bursting into tears.
I can’t see any blood. Or major trauma. Nothing broken in the apartment, either, just…oh fuck.
Our clothes sprawled all over the place.
“I couldn’t find you, Mommy!” Maddie cries, and my heart twists.
“It’s okay, it’s okay baby…” Leah says, clutching Maddie close and rubbing her back.
Damn. We maybe didn’t do that very well.
I pull on the rest of my clothes, running a hand through my hair as Leah deals with the hysterics. I want to go over there and help, but I’m not sure whether that will just overwhelm her. Remarkably, I haven’t actually seen Maddie truly upset yet. A few tantrums, maybe, but…not like this.
But Leah seems to know what she’s doing, and when I reappear Maddie is breathing more evenly again, her face is still blotchy and tear-stained. Poor kid.
Not quite the morning-after-sex I was hoping for.
I have a moment to mourn the sweet, sensual wake up. The early morning cuddles, that might have developed into something else…before I smile ruefully.
I’d somehow forgotten how having a kid around might affect that.
Worth it, but…ugh, that’s going to take some getting used to.
“Where were you?!” Maddie demands accusingly, as soon as her tears and agitation dries up.
I lean against the doorway, watching with some amusement as Leah actually blushes. My cock stirs in my pants, and memories of last night play through my mind alluringly.
Yeah. Definitely missing the chance to fool around this morning.
She glances back at me, then scowls at whatever she sees in my expression, and coughs as she smooths Maddie’s knotted hair back from her face. That only makes me smirk more.
“I was…helping Alistair with something. In his room.” She stands up again, taking Maddie’s hand. “C’mon, I’ll take you back to our room, okay? We’ll get dressed.”
Maddie nods slowly. “Okay.”
They get halfway across the room before she tugs on Leah’s hand.
“Mommy…you’re wearing the wrong clothes.” Maddie says, in frank assessment of the shirt she’s thrown over her.
Yep. Definitely feeling better then.
I cough to cover my own laugh, and get another raking glance from Leah.
“Well…”
“And there’s clothes on the floor—you said we couldn’t put clothes on the floor, Mommy!” She frowns up at Leah, who looks around and obviously bites back a curse.
“Yes…” She says after a moment. “That was very bad of me. We shouldn’t put clothes on the floor. I’m sorry.”
I can’t help it anymore. I laugh outright at very bad of me, and the withering look Leah sends me does nothing to stop it. I grin instead.
She gestures pointedly to the clothes we left scattered around the place, and eventually manages to tug Maddie into the room they’ve been staying in.
Poor kid indeed.
Let’s hope she doesn’t remember this particular moment. Not the finest parenting skills, maybe.
Leah and I are going to need to be far more careful…because I definitely don’t have plans to stop.
No, last night was only the start of what I want to do with her. To her.
My cock starts hardening again, and I force my mind off all of that. Right now, we have a kid to look after. And, as much as the whacked out hormones that are celebrating finally sleeping with Leah again might wish otherwise…Maddie is the priority. She’s always going to be.
I hurry around the apartment, picking up the clothes we ripped off last night and taking them back into my bedroom even though at least half of them probably need to go straight in the garbage. And then I come out and make sure the kitchen is as pristine as I can make it - getting rid of our still half-full wine glasses, removing any trace of what we were doing last night…
And then I start on the pancakes, grinning again. Leah has started to complain about how it’s always pancakes for breakfast around here, but Maddie’s smile makes it worth it. I might have let up and bought in a few kids’ cereals as well, and have made an effort to cut back the last couple of times they stayed over, but…
After the trauma Maddie faced this morning…it’s definitely a pancake day.
As predicted, when they come out of the room - looking dressed and immaculate, with no hint of how dirty things got last night… - Leah looks at my pan and rolls her eyes.
“Seriously, Alistair…”
“Yaay! Pancakes!” Maddie interrupts, rushing over to the kitchen island and trying to jump up onto the stool.
I lift her up onto it before she ends up knocking it over and falling to the floor - as she’s already done once. We were lucky nothing was broken - and that she didn’t hit her head on the hard marble edge, either. I might have to admit that Leah has a point about certain features of this place, however stylish it looks.
I grin at Leah where she’s deliberately scowling over the mixture, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into me. Her eyes widen, and she glances at Maddie immediately - but our girl doesn’t seem to notice anything unusual, chattering away about what she wants on her pancakes. I take advantage of it, letting my hand caress her hip just a little, and watching the redness creep back into her cheeks.
“Alistair.” She hisses, and I give her an innocent look before I go back to the pancakes.
“I figured we had something to celebrate this morning.” I smile at her, and enjoy the way the corners of her mouth tug up, almost against her will.
“Well, maybe…but we can’t be doing this every morning if—” She cuts herself off, glancing over at Maddie, and I suddenly remember all those things we never got around to talking about.
If they move in here.
Which is definitely happening. But, maybe after we finally talk to Maddie properly.
I raise an eyebrow at her, questioning, and she looks over to where Maddie is completely absorbed by squeezing out the different kinds of sauces onto her pancakes.
“After breakfast?” Leah mouths at me, and I nod.
Then, suddenly, wish I hadn’t gone for pancakes after all. They take far too long to prepare, and eat, and we spend far too long over them - when all I can think about is the conversation that’s about to happen. What we’re about to tell Maddie.
And I wish to hell and back we’d actually discussed it. I consider dragging Leah aside, suggesting we do it later, after we’ve worked out what we’re going to say.
But…this morning feels like a new start. For all of us. And I can’t stand the idea of delaying it any longer.
I’m Maddie’s Daddy.
I want her to know.
Especially after the way she looked at me yesterday, in the park.
I don’t really eat the pancakes.
And when we’re done, and we’ve convinced Maddie to clean the sauce from her face, it’s obvious Leah doesn’t want to wait any longer either.
“Maddie, sweetie…” She sits down on the couch, gesturing to Maddie from where she’s playing on the floor in front. “Can you come here a moment? Alistair and I…have something to tell you.”
I sit down next to her, my heart in my throat. Leah gives me a reassuring smile, but the same anxious-excitement is in her gaze too.
Maddie heaves a sigh, as if we’re interrupting a very important game, but she comes over anyway, and Leah lifts her up to sit on her knee. I smile at them both. My little girl, and my baby momma. My girlfriend too, I guess, though I’m not sure what Leah would think of that - when we’re still just dating.
Just dating…and fucking.
Leah strokes Maddie’s hair, and the smile she gives our daughter is full of the kind of compassion my own heart beats with. The kind of unconditional love that’s so much a part of you, you can’t change it even if you wanted to.
“Do you remember I said I was going to find your Daddy, baby?” Leah starts, softly - and that gets Maddie’s immediate attention.
Her head swings around to look at Leah fully, her eyes going wide. She sucks in a breath and nods, very tightly.
“Well…I did, baby. Alistair is your Daddy.”
Her head swings right back around to me a moment later, and it would almost look comical if I wasn’t so caught up in the moment.
I smile gently at her, my heart beating at triple speed, and an emotion I can’t even name welling up from deep inside me.
“Hi, sweetie.”
It’s silly, but I can’t think of anything else to say. And I want to say ‘hi’ again…as her Daddy.
“You are?” Her eyes are wide, as if she doesn’t actually believe it. As if she can’t quite understand that this is actually happening.
She’s not the only one.
I nod, feeling ridiculously like I might actually shed a tear. And that hasn’t happened…since I can remember.
“I am. I’m your Daddy, and I love you so much, baby girl…” I take a breath, emotion overcoming me for a moment, and then I just open my arms out wide, my heart in my throat as I hope she’ll accept the gesture. “I’m so happy to have you as my little girl, Maddie. I want to be your Daddy, more than anything in the world.”
She pauses for one long moment, staring at me as if caught in headlights.
And then she throws herself at me, bursting into tears.
I gasp myself, my arms closing around her as I hold her tightly against her, feeling that little body pressed against mine and breathing in the shampoo-scent of her hair. It’s all perfect to me. Everything about her.
I rock her back and forth, and kiss the top of her head, as she clings to me, and the feeling of just how much I’ve wanted this for so long completely overwhelms me.
I’ve touched her before - tickled and played and thrown her up on my back and shoulders. That kind of stuff. I’ve ruffled her hair, and patted her on the back, and basically used any excuse I can to be close to her. But I’ve never hugged her like this. I’ve never felt her in my arms like this.
I’ve tried to keep my gestures to friendly.
But this…this is her Daddy. All over.
When she finally looks up at me, with a hesitant smile framed by wet, glistening eyes, still sniffling from the outburst, I lean down to kiss her forehead.
“I promise I’m going to look after you, Maddie. I want to be the best damn Daddy in the world. And I’ll be here now, always. I’m so sorry I wasn’t before.” I know it’s probably all far too much for her to take in - but I have to say it anyway. I need her to know. And I’m going to keep saying it, every day, until she knows with every breath she takes just how true it is.
I look down at her, meet the eyes that are such a perfect match for my own, and stroke her hair back behind her ear, hoping this isn’t all too much for her. Hoping this is good news. “Are you okay, baby girl?”
She holds my gaze as she nods, the serious glaze to her eyes turning to an almost shy happiness.
“I wanted you for my Daddy. You’re the nicest man I ever met.”
Oh fuck.
I squeeze her tighter to me, my heart feeling like it’s about to burst, until she groans and tries to push me away. I let up reluctantly, kissing her on the forehead again. Feeling like I’m never going to be able to get enough of her.
I glance up to see tears running down Leah’s cheeks too, and I swear that’s almost my undoing. I almost lose control too.
“You really are?” Maddie repeats. “You’re my Daddy now?”
“I’m your Daddy now - and always. I’ve always been your Daddy. Since when you were a tiny baby.”
“And you’re not going to go away again?”
“No, baby. I never will. I’m sorry it took me this long to find you, but you’re stuck with me now. Always.”
She grins, suddenly and magically - all the clouds and hesitation and uncertainty clearing as if a sudden gust of wind has blown them away. As if something I’ve said has finally convinced her.
“He is, Maddie. He’s always been your Daddy. I’m sorry it took me this long to find him for you.” Leah reaches over and squeezes her shoulder, but she’s still looking at me.
And the hope and happiness there just melts me entirely.
Then she hesitates, glances back at her Mom before shifting on my lap.
“Can I…can I call you Daddy?”
I thought it wasn’t possible for this little girl, this tiny four year old, to move me more than she already had - but damn, I was wrong.
I cough, trying to get the sudden lump out of my throat, as I nod.
“Yes, I’d love that, baby girl.”
Her grin gets even wider, and she hugs me again - her little arms wrapping tightly around me.
“I love you, Maddie.” I say softly. “I’m always going to love you.”
“I love you too, Daddy.”
And just like that, I’m gone. So totally gone.
The tears finally slip free, and I don’t even care how I look or what it says about me - I’m shaking from the emotions surging through me.
Getting back with Leah had been one thing - and last night will probably be one of the best nights of my life. But that was measured, considered, discussed.
The innocent acceptance of a child…fuck, that’s something else entirely.
“Maddie…” Leah adds, and Maddie reluctantly turns back around to her. “We were thinking…you and me could stay here, with Alistair. We could live here with him. Would you like that?”
She nods fast enough I think there’s a legitimate risk of her head flying off, and her grin gets even wider, if possible.
“All my toys are here!”
I laugh at that, and kiss her again, hugging her tight.
“So they are, little one. So they are.”
She bounces off my lap in the next moment, obviously too excited to stay still for any longer - and I already miss holding her in my lap. Her little arms and legs wrapped around me. Her cute little face looking up at me.
“I have a Daddy.” She announces to us, grinning some more.
Then she starts bouncing all over the place, running around.
“I have a Daddy!” She screams, giggling and laughing as her voice gets higher and higher pitched. “I finally have a Daddy!”
I feel like my ears are about to burst, but Leah is laughing alongside her - and then she leans into me, closing the space that was Maddie in between us and hugging my side.
“We finally have you.” She murmurs, and I’ve never felt as fulfilled and happy as I do in that moment.
Fuck yes, they have me.
And they’re never, ever getting rid of me.
Either of them.