Chapter Ten
Kristen
“Today’s going to be different,” I told myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror.
Giving myself pep talks while staring at various reflective surfaces seemed to be my morning ritual now. I had woken up feeling reasonably happy, and I hoped that the feeling would last through the day. I was wearing a pencil skirt and a collared blouse with billowy sleeves. It was perhaps a little much for a personal assistant, but I wanted to feel confident today.
I had worn my hair down and added a little mascara and eyeliner for extra effect. I walked into work feeling positive for the first time in ages. I was going to take control of the situation, I told myself repeatedly as I walked to my desk. I was not going to let Jake’s attitude bother me one bit. I was going to do my job, be professional, and allow him to vent out whatever frustrations he was working through.
Jake had still not arrived when I sat down at my desk, so I took the opportunity to get myself some coffee and do some paperwork. I had just finished arranging his schedule for the day when he walked in. I saw him coming from the corner of my eye and stood up for no reason.
Take control of the situation, I told myself. Don’t let him ignore you. With that refrain reeling in my head, I made direct eye contact and gave Jake a smile that was perhaps a little wider than it needed to be.
“Good morning, Mr. Middleton,” I said, in a cheerful voice.
He barely glanced in my direction. His eyes flitted to me for a short moment, he nodded once, and then he disappeared into his office and slammed the door in my face.
Irritated and angry, I could feel my good mood slip away from me. He had no right to treat me this way. He hadn’t even offered me an explanation for this bizarre reaction the night I had babysat for Noah. I took a deep breath and went over to the lunchroom where I got together a special blend of cinnamon coffee for Jake and headed to his office with fresh determination.
I knocked on the twice, short, sharp raps that indicated I meant business. I was met with only silence, so I was forced to knock again.
“What is it?” Jake’s annoyed voice sounded from the other side.
I pushed the door open and walked in without an invitation. I could tell from Jake’s expression that he was not happy with the intrusion. I rarely came into his office without reason.
“I didn’t call you,” he said tersely.
“I’m aware of that, sir,” I said, struggling to keep my tone polite. “I just thought you might like some cinnamon coffee. They brought in a new blend only yesterday, and I remembered that meeting where you specifically requested cinnamon coffee.”
Jake looked stunned for a moment. Then I saw his eyebrows rise a little. “So…you remembered that little detail and brought me cinnamon coffee this morning?”
“I did,” I nodded.
“I already had coffee on my way here,” he said, glancing down at his papers.
I paused. “You can never have too many cups of coffee,” I said, forcing the smile to stay on my face. “Why don’t you try it? It’s really good.”
“You tried my coffee?”
“Uh no, of course I didn’t try your coffee,” I said. “I had some coffee myself a little while ago. It was good, so I can definitely recommend it.”
Jake looked slightly nonplussed, but I refused to excuse myself just yet. I was going to power through this awkwardness that stood between us for the last few weeks. I wasn’t sure how much more of it I could take, but I didn’t want to have to quit, either.
“Kristen,” Jake said, saying my name for the first time in a week. “I’m really busy, and I’ve made myself extremely plain before. I don’t like interruptions. I expect to find you in my office when I’ve asked you into my office.”
I set the cup of coffee down onto his desk, wondering if he would drink it once I’d left or just throw it out. I knew he expected me to leave, but I simply could not abide the way he was treating me.
“How’s Noah?” I blurted out.
Jake raised his eyebrows, and I detected slight anger in the downward tilt of his mouth. “I have work to do,” he said. “I don’t have time for small talk.”
“He cut his hand,” I said. “Has it healed yet?
Of course it would have healed. That was weeks ago, but I was just so desperate to find a way out of the awkward work environment that had encapsulated me lately that I was willing to bring up anything.
You need to change the bandage,” I added, when Jake didn’t say anything.
“You don’t think I’m aware of that?” Jake snapped. “I’m his father; I know what’s best for him.”
“I didn’t mean to suggest that you didn’t,” I said, holding my ground. “I just wanted to make sure his hand was alright.”
“It’s fine,” Jake said shortly. “It healed awhile ago.”
“That’s good,” I nodded. “And the leaf project he was working on… How did that go in school?”
I saw the furrow of Jake’s eyebrows, and I realized immediately that he had no clue that Noah had a leaf project to complete. I could also tell that he didn’t want to admit that. He stood up and narrowed his eyes at me.
“Go back to your desk,” he said, in a commanding voice that reminded me he had served in the military. “Now.”
I held his gaze for one second and then nodded, having finally lost my smile. “Enjoy your coffee,” I said curtly.
“Take it with you,” he said. “I don’t want it.”
I bristled at how rude he was being, and instead of embarrassing myself further, I picked up the coffee I had brought him and headed out the door. By the time I sat back down at my desk, I was fuming. I felt angry tears prick at the corner of my eyes and wanted to scream or throw something or storm back into Jake’s office just to tell him I was quitting because he was such an obnoxious jerk.
I almost stood at one point, but fear won out as I realized that I was still too nervous to confront him that openly—or confront him at all, really. Frustrated at myself by this point, I turned to my computer to try to get some work done, but I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. Every time I tried to get something done, I found myself rehearsing the speech I would use to chew out Jake in my head.
“Fuck it,” I said to myself as I opened my email and started typing on a whim.
“Jake,” I started, refusing to call him sir or Mr. Middleton, which was how I usually referred to him. “Over the last few weeks, you have behaved incredibly unprofessionally towards me. I understand I am your subordinate, and you are my superior, but that does give you the right to treat me as you have for the last few weeks. I have done my best to do everything you have asked of me; I even went out of my way to do you a favor and babysit your son. And how did you choose to show your appreciation for that bit of kindness? You kicked me out of your apartment at four in the morning, forcing me to walk the streets of San Diego like some common hooker. I could have been raped or murdered or worse.”
I knew I was getting a little carried away. I knew the email was teetering off into strange places, but I didn’t care. It was therapeutic to get it out, and I was actually feeling a little better as I put it all down. Halfway through writing the email, I realized I was never actually going to send it, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to get everything off my chest, and this was proving to be extremely helpful.
“How would you have felt then, Jake? What if my dismembered corpse had turned up in some lonely alleyway? Would you have even cared? Probably not, because there are people who are innately selfish, and these people don’t give a flying fuck about the little man. I have realized that you are one of those people.
“I have to say I’m disappointed. When I first took this job, I was proud to work under someone who had served our country. In my mind, you were a hero. More than that, I thought you were a good man and a decent human being. But apparently, you are neither. No, you are a selfish, arrogant prick who thinks you can just use people and then discard them afterward. I didn’t expect anything more than a thank you that night. But all I got was a cruel awakening.
“You, Jake Middleton, may be the CEO of this company and you may have been a major in the military, but I regret to inform you that you are also a complete and total jerk. That’s right, a jerk.
“Actually, you know what? Jerk is too nice a term for you. I’ll go with asshole, bastard, and douchebag. They seem more appropriate. You may rank above me, but that does not mean you are better than me. It does not give you the right to treat me like a slave and a non-person. I am a human being, and I deserve and demand respect.
“Yours sincerely, Kristen.”
The moment I finished typing, I let out a breath of air and felt instantly better. I stared at the email I had just written and actually cracked a smile. I wondered how Jake would react if I actually sent it. I sighed. “I can’t send it,” I said.
I moved my finger left slightly towards the discard icon just as the door to Jake’s office opened, and he stepped out. He looked in my general direction without actually meeting my eyes.
“Have you finished my schedule for the week?” he demanded.
“Uh…yes,” I nodded.
“Then what are you waiting for?” he asked with one raised eyebrow. “Send it to me immediately.”
Then he disappeared back into his office, and I was left biting my tongue to keep from screaming out a string of profanities. When I had composed myself somewhat, I looked down at my screen and realized immediately that something was not right.
“Wait,” I said, staring at the little fluttering icon in the middle of my screen that told me an email was being sent. “Wait… No, no, no… This can’t be happening.”
Apparently, my finger had accidentally pressed the send button when Jake had been barking at me about the schedule. There was no way to retrieve it now. It would have already landed in his inbox, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Fuck,” I said desperately, trying to figure out a way to take the email back. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Kristen?” I looked up to see one of the other personal assistants walking through. She looked at me with concern. “Is everything alright?”
“No everything is not alright,” I said, with my eyes still glued to my screen. “I think I just made a huge mistake.”
“Oh… Well, can it be fixed?” Mona asked.
“I don’t think so,” I cried, putting my head in my hands.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
I bit my lip. “I think I’m going to have to start looking for a new job.”