Chapter Thirteen
Tasha
" not saying your dress isn't perfect," Ivy said. "Just let me know next time, and we'll get you something truly haute couture."
I thanked our waiter as he laid down the gold-embossed menus. Since Ivy was intent on studying all the charity gala photographs online, I left my menu unopened. "I was assured that I could never go wrong with vintage Valentino. Plus, it's just a black dress."
"A drop-dead gorgeous dress." Ivy gasped again. "Wow. That is a low back."
I laughed and tried to snatch her phone away, but my friend was too fast. "Ivy, stop. Please!"
"Oh, no, definitely not. Now I know why there's a buzz going around. It seems Ms. Ellison Ramsey has been knocked off her society pages throne. There's half a dozen photographs of you, plus more with you prominently in the background." Ivy looked at each one. "And a lot of you with Rainer Maxwell."
"We work together," I said.
Ivy put her phone down. "Yes, dear, I know you work together. What I didn't know is that you looked that great as a couple. I mean, no wonder the paparazzi were snapping photographs. You look pretty cozy."
I opened my menu like a shield. "Please tell me I can order a drink with lunch."
"Yes. How about a nice Riesling? We'll have the whole bottle at the table," Ivy told our attentive waiter. He bowed and moved off through the linen-draped tables. "Whatever it takes for you to tell me the whole story."
I knew I couldn't put Ivy off. There wasn't much that she didn't get one way or another. Plus, outside of my pregnant and preoccupied sister, Ivy was the only one I had to confide in. Still, I tried to distract her. "Do you think I should have a shrimp salad?"
Ivy shook her head. "We don't order off the menu, darling. The chef will send something out with his compliments. Now, tell me."
I plucked at the tines of my silver fork. "What's to tell? There was an attractive man and a lapse of judgment, but we work together, so it was a mistake. One that will never be repeated. Did you hear me? Never."
"Oh, yes, I heard you. Sorry, Tasha, but saying 'never' twice is a sure sign it'll happen again." Ivy gave me a sympathetic smile and laid off until the waiter had filled our glasses.
I took a sip of the crisp wine and tried again. "One mistake is enough for me."
"But did you get enough of Rainer?"
"Ivy!" I felt a blush heat my cheeks and had to force cooler thoughts. "Besides, I'm in between projects now at work, and I really have to focus."
"What happened to the community garden?" Ivy asked. "I think that brilliant bit of PR is one of the reasons you ousted Ellison from the society pages. You managed to turn public opinion one-eighty, and now no one can get enough of you. Not even—"
"Don't say his name," I said. "All I can think about right now is why Stan would cut off the funding so abruptly."
Ivy gave a delicate wave to a notable couple not far from us. "If funding is the only problem, just give me five minutes. I have enough friends in this room alone to fund ten more years of that darling garden."
"No. No, thanks. I'm sure Stan had his reasons. I mean, he's right. The whole point of GroGreen and the campaign was to show that communities could do this on their own," I said, hoping to convince myself.
Ivy was not fooled. "It's important to you. Why not throw in some of your own hard-earned money and I'll match you dollar-for-dollar? How expensive can it be?"
I sighed. "To keep a national campaign going across multiple media is much more than you'd think. Plus, I'd like to update the application with message boards and ways for the community gardens to share photographs and plans. That means paying a development team and my team is definitely not cheap."
Ivy held up her glass. "Well, then here's to kicking in some serious money. I'm not kidding, Tasha, you name your figure, and I'll match you. Then we'll get at least three more tables to do the same without even getting up."
"Thanks, Ivy." I smiled at my audacious friend. "The only problem is that I don't have anything to contribute. My finances are, um, not liquid anymore."
Ivy raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow. "What have you done, Tasha?" she asked.
Now my cheeks were bright red. "I invested it all and only left myself what I earned last year."
She caught my dodging gaze and leaned forward. "And why did you lock away all your newly made billions?"
I took another long sip of wine and tried to sort it out in my own mind. "It felt like a lot of pressure. I'm sure you felt it when you got married. All of a sudden everything's different when really it's just a lot more numbers in your bank account."
"And what did you do before this big decision?" Ivy asked.
"What do you mean? Why?" I searched my memory. "I was at work and my useless assistant was calling out tabloid headlines. I got up to shut my office door and just decided."
Ivy was not convinced. She saw that I had suddenly paled. "Rumors like Rainer getting engaged to Ellison?"
I wanted to cry; the connection was so sudden and so awfully true. I had invested all of my money as some sort of spiteful response to Rainer's personal life. "Oh, god, Ivy. Why am I ruining my life?"
She patted my hand and refilled my wine glass. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you're the only one doing crazy things. I mean, Rainer is refusing to get engaged to Ellison. Ellison Ramsey! You're both nuts."
Ivy's words stuck with me long after we finished our three-course lunch and said goodbye at the valet stand. I went back to work and was horrified to see Rainer chatting with Otto. He jumped up as if he'd been waiting for me.
Otto leaned on the security desk and grinned. "Hello, Ms. Nichols," he called. "We were just talking about you."
The absolutely last thing I wanted to see was the speculative expression on my friend's face. Actually, second to last. Rainer was the one person I wanted to avoid at all costs. I tried to wave politely and keep walking. My plan was to hit the regular bank of elevators and lose Rainer in the crowds returning from lunch.
It backfired when I walked towards the executive elevator and the doors slid open. I had to step inside or Rainer would know I was avoiding him on purpose. I turned around just as he slipped in the doors. I saw Otto wave as the doors closed. It was just Rainer and me in the elevator.
At least it's an express to the top floors, I told myself.
"So, what are we going to do?" Rainer asked.
"Excuse me?" I gasped.
Rainer's expression broke into a surprised grin. "Sorry, wasn't trying to be suggestive. But if you have a different idea for this elevator ride then, please, elaborate."
I wished I could slip through the floor and back down to the front doors. "What are we going to do about what? Oh, you mean the community garden?" I asked.
"Well, now that you mention it—"
I cut Rainer off. "I'm heading up to meet with Stan right now. First I want to hear his reasons for cutting off the funding, and then I'll decide which path I have to take."
Rainer's eyes slid to the stop button and then back to me. "Wait, two paths? What are you talking about?"
His mind was clearly on other things, things that made my heart stumble around. I cleared my throat. "Stan knows by now that I love the GroGreen project, so I only have two choices: fight or beg."
Rainer leaned against the elevator wall and smiled at me. "So, you don't want to move on yet either?"
"I thought you were ready to move on from the first moment you walked into our team meeting," I said. The words hit home, and I felt bad for making Rainer wince. "I'm just surprised that you liked all the extra work."
"Watching preschoolers plant carrots was not what I'd call work. I enjoyed it," Rainer said.
I blamed the express elevator for the sudden lightness in my head. "I love it. Plus, it's great for the company, and I just have to make Stan see that."
Rainer stopped my babbling by standing up. He was suddenly too close. "So, you're going to fight. Does that mean I should beg?"
"What?" I blinked up at him and forgot what I had said.
"Well, it seems to me that your advice for getting what you want is to fight for it or beg. So, Tasha, tell me which one I should do." Rainer's gaze locked onto me.
He was serious. Very serious. But I worried he wasn't talking about the GroGreen project anymore.
It was all too much. The elevator was too tight and warm. Rainer was too close and causing too many thoughts to swirl around my head. I felt like a geyser about to erupt.
I didn't know what else to do, so I got angry. "This is all a game to you, isn't it?" I asked him.
Rainer took a step back and hit the stop button on the elevator. It lurched to a halt as he asked, "Are we talking about work or the rest of it?"
"The rest of it?" I practically screeched. "There isn't anything else. You just want what you can't have. And you must think I'm some kind of moron that I don't know as soon as I give in, you'll get bored and move on. I'm not doing it."
"You really think I'm heartless, don't you?" Rainer said. He restarted the elevator, and we made it to the executive floor in mere seconds.
The doors slid open before I could control my breathing. "I don't know what to think," I said. "So, I'm going to work."
I shoved past him and headed straight for Stan's office. When my mentor saw me, he finished up his phone call in record time. Then he pressed the button to shut his office door and went to his bar cart. I waved off a stiff drink and Stan handed me a bottle of water.
"This can't all be about the funding for your public outreach, can it?" Stan asked. "Just tell me what you want, Tasha, and we'll get it sorted out."
My eyes blurred but I refused to sniffle. "I don't know. I should. I did. But now I don't."
Stan sat down in the hard-backed chair next to me and reached for my hand. "So, take a minute."
I shook my head and blinked back the tears. "No. Ridiculous. I just need a new project to focus on. Where do you need me?"
"Work can wait," Stan said.
"Work is the only thing I know how to do."
My mentor stood up and paced around his desk. "Then listen to your boss, Tasha. My decision still stands. GroGreen is done. Call it a success. You can go back to public outreach and community work on your own time, but I think you should give the whole situation a little breathing room."
"Whole situation?" I asked.
Stan sighed. "I hear rumors too, you know. You and Rainer getting to know each other was great for the company at the start of your campaign. But, now, I think it's, ah, confusing?"
I gave him a weak giggle. "You're just mad the rumors aren't about us anymore."
"Just say the word, my dear. One kiss, even just a peck on the cheek, and everyone would forget about you and Rainer," Stan said.
"Desperate measures?" I joked.
"There's my Tasha." Stan hit the button that opened his office door. "Now, get to work. Pitch me a new project by the end of the day."
I walked out of Stan's office feeling more steady than I had since lunch. Until I saw Rainer.
I panicked and walked in the opposite direction. On the other side of the executive floor, far from the spacious offices with amazing views, was a maze of cubicles where all the assistants and executive team members worked. It was a regular route for me as I often had memos and correspondences to give to Stan's assistants, but it seemed like everyone was watching me. Eyes peeked over the edges of cubicles, sliding away from computer screens to watch as I bustled by trying to look busy.
Rainer followed me. A few calculated turns amongst the cubicles, and it was obvious that he was chasing me. I acted casual, waved at a few people I knew, but my pace was too nervous and fast.
I imagined if I turned and double-backed that Rainer would try to cut me off. I didn't want to end up face to face with him in the middle of a vast audience of co-workers. So, I pretended my phone was ringing and dove into a nearby break room to answer it.
My hope that Rainer had missed my fast dodge was destroyed when he strolled into the break room after me. I was still holding my phone to my ear and held up a finger as if I was listening to someone who could not be interrupted.
I made one last effort to skirt around Rainer, but he blocked the door.
"Great, yes. I'll make a note of it. Thanks," I said to my inactive phone. "Excuse me. I have to get back to my office. Stan wants a new project pitch by the end of the day."
Rainer grinned and stood firm in the doorway. "You know that avoiding me shows you have feelings for me, right?"
I caught my phone before it clattered to the floor. "What? I don't have feelings for you, and avoiding you has nothing to do with that."
"With what?" Rainer crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame. "The fact that we had one fantastic night together?"
My cheeks blazed at the thought of someone overhearing us. I grabbed Rainer's arm and dragged him into the break room. He stepped forward willingly, and I found myself pressed up against the small kitchenette counter.
"You're blushing. Your pulse is jumping. Why can't you just admit you're attracted to me?" Rainer asked.
"What good would that do?" I asked.
Rainer smiled and leaned closer. "See? It's questions like that, plus that merry little office chase, that make me think there's something here we still need to explore."
I shoved against his chest hard. "You're just bored. Most people find a new project when they're bored at work. It's a hell of a lot more professional than looking for another conquest."
He frowned at that but did not move back. "What if I'm not looking for another conquest? What if all I've ever been looking for was right here?"
I wiggled out from the counter, fueled by the anger I felt. How could he mess with my emotions like that? "You practice that line at home?" I asked.
Rainer grabbed my arm and swung me around. His lips crashed against mine and a wave of desire tumbled over me. When he broke the tumultuous kiss, his eyes flashed. "Tell me you didn't feel that."
I had to take a few breaths before I could speak, but then I managed to say: "All I felt was inappropriate work behavior."
Rainer backed off with an angry sigh. "Fine. We'll talk about this after work. Alone. Until you admit I'm not wrong. There's something between us, and I don't understand why you won't let yourself feel it."
I straightened out my work blouse but couldn't come up with a response. By the time I looked up from pressing my shirt primly, Rainer was gone. I took a minute to pour a cup of tepid coffee with a shaking hand. I figured now I could leave without looking as if I'd been part of a scene.
Then two co-workers hurried into the break room. I recognized the taller redhead from the time I caught her crying in a bathroom stall. The other co-worker, a dark-haired beauty with dramatic eyes, was definitely the woman I had seen Rainer seducing at the end of the office holiday party.
"Good morning," I said and tried to squeeze past them.
The redhead blocked my way with her hands up. "I'm so sorry to do this, Ms. Nichols, but I really admire you. You're an inspiration, one of the only female junior executives here, and, well, I want you to know that Rainer Maxwell is no good."
"He'll ruin your reputation," the other woman said with a dark look.
I couldn't say anything, so I just clutched my coffee and leaned back against the kitchenette counter.
"He's only in it for the fun of it." The redhead approached me cautiously. "At first, I thought an office fling would be fun, but then it was over. I mean, just like that. One and done."
"Me too," the dark-haired woman said. "He never goes back for seconds. And then you start noticing the other women he's tossed aside. The women who refuse to make eye contact with him. The women who go out of their way to avoid him."
"I received a phone call, stopped in here for privacy and a coffee," I explained.
"Good. I hope that's true," the dark-haired woman said. "We just wanted to warn you. You're too good for him."
"Don't think he'll keep pursuing you after you've given him what he wants," the redhead said.
"Thank you. Excellent advice." I stayed put after the women apologized again and left the break room.
They were just trying to be nice, but they'd done more than share a warning they wished they'd heard. They gave me an idea. If I slept with Rainer again, maybe he would go away. I sipped at my cold coffee and wondered if I could handle it. Seducing Rainer sounded like the only way I could get rid of him for good.
The thought festered with me all day until it was time to go home and get ready for my date with Seth. Luckily, I did not see Rainer as I left the office because my heart did funny flutters every time I considered my plan. Coming face-to-face with him before I'd thought it all the way through felt dangerous. After he chased me into the break room, I worried that he could read me better than anyone had ever managed.
After showering, tugging on a little black dress, and rushing out the door to meet Seth, Rainer was still on my mind. I told myself that had been his intent all along - make me think of him until I gave in - but something my co-workers said bothered me. Rainer never went back for seconds. His list of one-night stands was long and despicable, but I wasn't sure I fit on that list. Not only had we slept together and kept working side by side every day, but Rainer was determined to have more.
The valet startled me out of the memory of Rainer's quick, searing kiss. I stumbled out of my car and jumped when my phone rang. It was Rainer.
For one heart-stopping moment, I thought Rainer had managed to crash my date. I looked up the restaurant steps and expected to see him standing there.
"Tasha, over here," Seth called.
I couldn't believe my heart dropped when I saw Seth. He was standing by the open door with a wide smile and was getting plenty of appreciative glances from the people heading inside. In a sports coat and tight tee-shirt, Seth looked good enough to eat. But he wasn't Rainer.
I glanced around once more and wondered if I should check my message. I forced the thought out of my head and ran up the steps to meet Seth.
He pecked me on the cheek. "You look wonderful. How was work?"
I flinched away from the question. "I'd rather hear about all the beautiful things you did with your day," I said.
Seth put a light hand on the small of my back and steered me into the restaurant. I caught a few jealous glances and couldn't help but feel bad. He was the picture of the perfect date, but I had my mind on other things.
"Ms. Nichols? Tasha?" a hearty voice called me from the bar. I turned and teetered on my high heels. Mr. Reynolds, the head of Parks and Recreation, waved us over. "Having a business dinner?" he asked with a broad smile.
"Mr. Reynolds, this is Seth. Seth, Mr. Reynolds," I said with a dry mouth.
"Please, call me Alan. Where's Rainer?" Alan asked.
Seth chuckled. "That'd be a little awkward. We're on a date."
Alan's smile froze. He gave me another look. "Oh, sorry. I just assumed that you and Rainer, ah . . . I just figured that was the only reason a man like Rainer was digging in the dirt day after day."
"Reasonable assumption," Seth said. "After all, the reason I took the volunteer gig was to get a date with Tasha."
I was glad when the hostess approached and gestured us towards our table. "Nice to see you, Mr. Reynolds."
When we got to our table, Seth's glances kept sliding back to the bar.
"I'm sorry that was so awkward," I said. "I haven't told Mr. Reynolds about the funding getting cut. I'm not sure he's ready for the community garden to be on its own."
Seth seemed to accept my reasonable excuse for the tension. "He knows it's going to happen sooner or later. Mr. Reynolds seems like an observant man."
"Speaking of observant men, maybe you know what kind of flowers these are?" I motioned to the beautiful centerpiece at our table.
It was a desperate bid to distract us, but it didn't work. Seth reached across the table, took both my hands, and then studied my face carefully. "You're right, Tasha, I'm observant too. Are you really sure I'm the one you want to be on a date with tonight?"
I resisted the urge to yank my hands back. "I wouldn't have said yes otherwise."
Seth smiled and squeezed my hands. Then he let them go and leaned back in his seat. "Then I just have to get this out: I think Rainer is in love with you."
I choked on the sparkling water our waiter had just poured. The waiter panicked, but I waved him away, and he fled gladly. "Why would you say that?" I asked Seth.
"Come on, Tasha, everyone could see it at the community garden. The way he looks at you. And he makes you smile," Seth said.
"You make me smile," I said.
Seth looked at my straight face and shook his head with a rueful sigh. "I don't mind talking gardens and landscaping. I don't even mind enjoying a delicious dinner with you. I just think we should be honest right now. This isn't a date. It can't be."
"Why not?" I asked. There was a catch in my voice and I worried it had everything to do with Rainer and very little with Seth's clear-headed decision.
"I'm sorry, Tasha, I'm just not willing to get in the middle of something. Even if you haven't admitted it, there's something going on. That doesn't mean we can't still enjoy dinner." Seth motioned for the waiter to return.
It was my turn to sigh. "You're right, and I can respect that. But I'm paying."
Seth laughed. "Fair enough, friend."