Chapter Four
Gretchen
I had just finished cooking breakfast the next morning when there was a knock on the door. I smiled a little to myself and wiped my hands off on a dishtowel, going to answer the door. The smell of greasy meat and cinnamon filled the air. It was a good scent. One that calmed me and left me feeling like there was no place quite as great as home.
I opened the door to find Mina standing outside with a big smile on her pretty face.
“Hey girl, get in here,” I said, giving Mina a hug.
“Hey,” Mina said, returning the hug. “Thanks for inviting me over for breakfast. I just have nothing in the house at the moment. Except for pineapple! I always have pineapple, and I’m happy to share. I’ve tried just about every recipe known to man with the fruit.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I can imagine that must get old after a while. Come on in. I have to get to work by ten for an appointment, so I don't have a ton of time, but we can at least chat a little.”
“I can't believe you have work even on the weekends,” Mina said. “I think I'd go crazy. I need my downtime, you know?”
“Don’t I. But it’s all good. I only do special requests on the weekends,” I reminded her. “This one is for one of my regulars who travels a lot for business. He's only back in town for a couple of days, and then he jets off again, so I told him I'd be flexible with his schedule.”
“You're too nice,” Mina said, shaking her head. “What happened to putting yourself before your work?”
I laughed. “It's only a one-hour appointment. And then I've got three more today, but it's nothing too busy, and I know all of them, so it's not like I have to suss out what they need or anything like that. They're easy appointments, and then I'm free the whole rest of the weekend, actually, unless someone calls last-minute and wants to book me for tomorrow.”
“What are your plans for the rest of the weekend, when you're not working, then?” She made a plate and sat down with me.
I shrugged and slowly chewed a bite of eggs. “Don't really have much on the schedule.”
“So, you're only planning on going for a 50-mile run or something like that?” Mina asked, rolling her eyes.
I laughed again. “Don't be silly. I'll probably go for a run this evening. It's good to keep active. Maybe I'll go over to the gym tomorrow, or go for a swim or something. I may try to go surfing; I've heard the waves are starting to get really good again. But I don't have any plans; I just kind of want to chill. I haven't had a chill day in a while.”
“You're not up to anything in particular tonight?” Mina pressed, and I could tell from the glint in her eye that she had some sort of plan, probably one that I wasn't going to be interested in.
I groaned. “Mina, I'm not going clubbing again,” I told her. “If you want to have a nice night in with a movie and a bottle of wine or something like that, I could probably be down, but-”
“What about a luau?” Mina asked, her smile widening.
I sighed. It could be fun. “Mina, I've been working hard all week,” I told her. “I've had an insane number of appointments. And I have four of them today. By that point, I'm going to be ready to just be off my feet and not trying to socialize with a bunch of random strangers.”
Mina pouted a little. “But you almost never take whole day off. This would give you plenty of time to go out and let your hair down a little tonight, maybe meet a guy, and not have to worry about work tomorrow.”
I laughed, of course that was what this was about. “Mina, I'm not trying to meet a guy,” I reminded her. But she wasn't going to take no for an answer. “Look, I'll think about it, okay? Thanks for inviting me. I'll let you know how I'm feeling after work.”
“Fine,” Mina said, although I could tell she was a bit disappointed by my reluctance.
“We’ll see.” I hated to disappoint her. “Maybe something will shift in the day and I’ll feel differently.”
“Yay!” She wagged her eyebrows and clapped like a small child.
I chuckled. “I said maybe.”
As it turned out, my two afternoon appointments both canceled, and I found myself unexpectedly with a whole free afternoon and evening. And the whole next day as well. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a day and a half off that I hadn't been on vacation. I didn't know what to do with myself.
I went for a swim, and I took a nap, and then I called Mina. “Fine,” I told her. “I'll go to this luau, but I’m not staying there all night. We can go for a little while though.”
Mina cheered on the other end of the phone. “I'll swing by to pick you up at seven,” she told me. “And thank you, Gretchen! I’m so excited.”
“Me too.” Lies.
Later that night, when we got there, I had to admit that I was glad that I had agreed to go to go. I looked around at the crowd and smiled. I knew most of them; that was what happened when you lived on an island for your whole life. Sure, there were a few tourists who had managed to find their way out there, but for the most part, it seemed to be a local affair. It had been a while since I’d come to one of these things.
“How have you been, Gretchen?” Jenny asked me, giving me a warm hug. “I've heard business has been good over at the shop.”
“It's been really good, actually,” I told her and returned the gesture, squeezing her tightly.
“Amazing is more like it!” Mina interjected, her energy contagious. My poor best friend needed to get out more, which meant I did too.
I laughed. “Yeah, it's been pretty busy. I feel like I never really get out anymore, but I love what I do, so I guess maybe that's a good thing.”
“You're lucky that way,” Jenny agreed, nodding her head.
“What, aren't you enjoying working at the café anymore?” I asked and crossed my arms over my chest as a warm breeze blew past us.
“Oh, it's fine,” Jenny said. “Just not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about going back to school.”
“Oh, wow! What are you wanting to study?” I asked and forced myself to focus on her. A feeling of trepidation sat on my shoulders, and I knew why. Lino, my ex, was most likely somewhere in the party, lurking on the edges of it. Beloved by everyone. But me.
I flowed from conversation to conversation for a little while, almost feeling like things were going to be good, and then I saw him.
I swallowed hard, knowing that I should go over and say hello to Lino but not sure what I wanted to say. There was a part of me that would never forgive him for what he had done to me. But at the same time, I couldn't deny that there had been problems with our whole relationship, and the further I got from being in a relationship with him, the more I was able to accept that, yes, there had been some serious problems there. We would never have worked out long-term.
I liked him as a person, but that was it. Maybe it was about time we became friends again.
As though drawn by my thoughts, Lino made his way through the laughing crowd toward me. I felt like maybe I should run from him, he was so predatory, but I was pinned there by his gaze.
“Hey Lino,” I said hesitantly. “How are you?”
Lino smiled down at me. “Hey Gretchen,” he said. “I’m good. Better now. You're looking beautiful as always.” His eyes raked over my white dress, stroking over my curves and undressing me with his gaze.
I couldn't help but shudder a little. There had always been such fire between us, a fire that I still couldn't deny, even though I knew we were never going to sleep together again. “How is business at the dive shop?” I asked, not wanting to dwell on the past.
“Good,” Lino said. “It’s been really good this year. Lots of tourists coming down here. Just one of those years, I guess. But it's nice to have, especially after last year was so dead. It’s been busy as hell, which hasn’t give me much time to do the things I love, but it’s all good.” With the way he watched me, I couldn’t help but wonder if I were one of those things he loved. But no…that ship had sailed one stormy dark night, a long time ago.
“Mmm, I can imagine,” I said. “Things have been good at the massage parlor too. I've been busy.” I tried hard not to let sarcasm slip into my voice seeing that he hadn’t asked about my business. Typical. He was focused on himself and not much more. Not unless it centered around him getting laid.
“Yeah, I haven't seen you around the bars in ages,” Lino said as he continued to watch me closely.
“You've been looking?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him even though I knew this was dangerous territory and that I should be trying to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.
“Oh, don't try to be coy,” Lino said, shaking his head, a glint in his eye. He licked his lips, and something in my stomach tightened. “You know you're the sexiest thing on this island. I'm not the only person who's been looking for you.”
I bit my lower lip. “Yeah, well.” I glanced around, eyes desperately casting about for someone else who I could run off to talk to. “Sexy isn’t something I’m interested in talking about.”
Lino laughed. “Don't worry, I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do,” he said. “But maybe we could get coffee at some point. It would be nice to catch up, Gretchen. It’s been a long time.” He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I started to jerk back but decided that would be worse than just standing still. There was no way I was letting him know that I still had feelings for him after all the shit we’d been through.
I sighed. “I don't think that I'm ready for that to happen yet, Lino,” I admitted. “I thought that maybe I was, but I don't think I am.”
I was a bit disappointed by myself. I wanted to be ready to move on. I didn't want to look back anymore. But I could tell that Lino was still looking back. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted us to go behind some of the dunes and have sex. That wasn't about to happen.
“Hey, Gretchen, there you are!” Mina said, catching my elbow and saving me from myself.
Finally. I pasted a smile on my face, but I could see the knowing look in her eyes; she knew exactly what she'd interrupted. She nodded at Lino. “Sorry, I need Gretchen's help with something over there,” she said, nodding off toward the crowd, not even bothering to come up with an excuse. She had never really liked Lino all that much.
“Yeah, all right.” Lino tilted his head to the side as I took a few steps back with Mina. “Call me sometime and let’s get a drink. My treat?”
“Sure.” I turned and ran my hand down my face. “That guy. I swear.”
She tugged me away, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” I said.
“What the hell was that?” Mina asked. “I thought you were done with him.”
“I am,” I insisted. “We've been done for a year now. You know that. You'd be the first person to know if something was happening between the two of us again. But no, there's nothing happening. He just came up to say hi.”
“It didn't look like you were just saying hi to one another,” Mina told me. “It looked like you were fucking one another with your eyes.”
I sighed. “Yeah, well. There's always going to be feelings there, Mina. We dated for over a year. And we had really good sex.”
Mina groaned. “I knew you just needed to get laid,” she said. “You need to get out more, girl. There are plenty of guys on this island who would love to sleep with you. Guys who aren't assholes.”
“He's not an asshole,” I told her.
“That's not what we agreed when he left you.”
“Okay, he's kind of an asshole. But he's a good guy deep down. Anyway, it's not like he's trying to start up a relationship with me again or anything like that. He just wants to fuck me. I'm not going to do that again, so.”
Mina shook her head. “I still don't think you should even bother talking to him,” she said. “The guy's a total jerk, and for all that you trust your willpower and your ability to withstand his advances…”
“You think I'd just as happily bend over for him,” I said, feeling hurt by that.
“Come on, Gretchen,” Mina said, clearly sensing that I was upset. “Look, let's steal a bottle of wine and go sit by the water, just the two of us.”
I wanted to protest, but it would have been purely on principle. “Okay,” I agreed. A bottle of wine with my best friend was pretty much the only thing I'd wanted with that night anyway. I gave Lino once last fleeting look. His eyes were still trained on me, with a look that I couldn't decipher.