Tasha
There is no neat and tidy way to eat barbecue, even when wearing an expensive silk blouse. I hesitated at first, waiting until everyone else at the community center got a plate, but then it seemed odd and snobbish for me not to eat too. Plus, the food smelled so good I was practically drooling. Luckily, Rainer was eating his heaping plate near the food table while talking to Mr. Reynolds.
I watched him lick the thick, tangy sauce off his fingers until he caught my glance and smiled.
"Too spicy?" the woman next to me asked.
"The barbecue? No, it's delicious," I said.
She turned to look at Rainer. "Yeah, he is too," she said.
I recognized her as the front desk secretary of the community center. "He's my co-worker."
"So was my husband, once. My name is Deanna Reynolds," the woman said.
"You two still work together?" I hid my avid interest behind another bite of barbecue.
Deanna smiled. "We may only be a few yards from each other, but our work is totally different. That helps."
For a moment, I imagined a day when I was only separated from Rainer by a few yards. Would it always be as easy and fun as today?
"You've got a little sauce on your chin," Rainer said. He plucked the napkin from my lap and dabbed my face.
I was sure my cheeks were as red as the barbecue sauce by the time his gentle attentions were over. "Luckily, this isn't a date," I said.
"Luckily?" Rainer asked.
My cheeks burned. "No. I mean, wolfing down barbecue is not the best way to impress other people."
His eyes sparkled, not letting me off the sharp hook of my embarrassment. "Who are you trying to impress? Me, I'm impressed with a lady who's not afraid to eat."
"I'll be impressed if we make it back to the office at all today," I said. It was meant to change the subject, steer it back towards work, but it made Deanna laugh.
Rainer's eyes widened, but he kept his smile cautious. "Well, the preschoolers staked out the garden with popsicle sticks and yarn. The plans are coming together on GroGreen. And everyone's had at least two plates of barbecue. If you want to head back to the office, now's as good a time as any."
"You ready?" Mr. Reynolds called to Rainer.
"I offered to help set up the hall for tonight's event. It'll only take a few minutes," Rainer said.
I nodded and watched, speechless, as he rushed off to help the small community crew set up tables. His smile was different, wider and easy. Rainer joked with the men as they hauled the large tables into place. He had the amazing ability to charm anyone, but today it didn't seem as smooth. Rainer's stylish suit coat was flung over a chair, his sleeves were rolled up, and his collar hanging open. More than that, his every movement seemed looser, more relaxed.
"This has been a nice break from your office, hasn't it?" Deanna asked. "He certainly seems to be enjoying himself. Or is he always like that?"
"He's like that," I said, "except a little more buttoned-up, a little more, I don't know, corporate. Our job is highly competitive, and his charm gives him an edge."
Deanna nodded. "That's why Alan left his office job. He didn't like spending all his time jockeying for position. It always distracted him from the projects. Here he can accomplish something from start to finish and see it firsthand. Some men need that."
I looked at Rainer again and thought Deanna had a good point. At Hyperion, the projects had a way of overlapping and blending together. It all amounted to lines of data in the end. That's why a lot of the junior executives treated their jobs as a game. They couldn't see the results as concrete, real, and so made a joke out of the whole thing. I thought Rainer was the king of that, the leader of the good times, but now I wondered. What if all Rainer needed was a project like this? Maybe it would curtail his playboy ways.
"From the looks of your plate, I'm going to say that's a food coma," Barbie said. She heaved herself onto the picnic bench next to me. "Though, on second thought, I see what has you so distracted. Who's that?"
"Barbie? What are you doing here?" I asked, blinking owlishly.
"You told me to stop by. You knew I couldn't resist food." My sister turned to Deanna. "I ate lunch an hour ago, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. I'm starving."
Deanna grinned at my sister's rounded belly. "I remember waking up in the middle of the night and having to raid the refrigerator when I was pregnant."
Barbie smiled. "So, how long has she been staring at him? Are we going to have to get his number for her?"
I swatted my sister's arm. "That's Rainer Maxwell. My co-worker."
Deanna saw my sister's slack-jawed reaction and stood up. "How about I get you a plate? I'll be back in a minute."
"Rainer?" My sister asked and then let her jaw fall open again. "As in, holiday party hunk, Rainer?"
"I never said that. I never called him that," I hissed.
Barbie gave Rainer another long look. "I can see why you fell for him. Wow. I thought you said he transferred or something."
I shoved my plate away from me, dropped my elbows on the table, and laid my head in my hands. "I said he wasn't who I thought he was."
Barbie pried my hands away from my face. "So, who is he?"
"The office playboy. The kind of guy who whispers all sorts of romance in your ear one night and then doesn't remember your name the next day. He's also the junior executive who horned his way onto my team just in time to catch the big bonus."
"Gorgeous, rich, and a total scoundrel," Barbie said. "I better go introduce myself."
My sister was fast despite her pregnant belly, and I had to scramble to catch her arm. "Why? You don't need to meet him. Just enjoy your second lunch."
Barbie narrowed her eyes at me and twisted her arm free in one easy move. "You might be all cool and professional, but I remember what you were like that Christmas. You glowed brighter than our Christmas tree. If he's the one who sparked that in you and then snuffed it out, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."
"He didn't snuff anything out, Barbie, please. Rainer's just like all the other junior executives. Charming and cutthroat. Lazy until it comes time to take credit. You've heard me talk about work. Seriously. Do you think it's a good idea for me to fall for anyone at my office?"
Barbie studied my face and then looked back at Rainer. She frowned. "I want him to be different. He seems different."
Rainer caught us looking at him and waved. He shook hands with the crew and then strode towards us. "You must be Tasha's sister," Rainer said. "Nice to meet you."
Barbie reached out to shake his hand, but I looped my arms around her shoulders and turned her away. "My sister was just picking up something to eat on her way home. I'm going to walk her to her car."
Rainer looked hurt but erased the evidence with another bright smile. Now, he looked more like the man I knew from the office. He even pulled on his suit coat and buttoned up his white shirt. "Guess I better get back to work then."
Barbie glanced from him to me and back again. "I hear you'll be working over here in the East Bay for a while," she said. "Tasha will have to bring you by our house one of these days. We could have dinner."
"Thank you. I'd like that," Rainer said.
"Let's not make any plans yet," I said. "We're not just here to have fun."
Rainer's smile cooled. "Speaking of work, Mr. Reynolds is ready for the final pitch. I'm going to walk him through the garden."
"The garden?" I scoffed. "It's a lumpy patch of weeds."
"Don't worry, Ms. Nichols," Rainer said, glancing at my high heels. "I can handle it."
He smoothed down his shirt and buttoned up his suit coat. Barbie and I watched him get out his phone as he met up with Mr. Reynolds in the parking lot. It was enough of a transformation that even Barbie looked confused.
"See?" I asked. "He's sweeping in to take all the credit. I'm the one who found this location, convinced them to let us come in the first place. And I did all the work on the app, which is the whole point of this whole thing."
"So, what are you going to do?" Barbie asked. She too looked at my high heels.
I kicked them off. "I'm going along for the final pitch. I'm going to record him trying to take all the credit so I can play it for Stan."
"You're going to tell on him?" Barbie asked.
"No. I'm just not going to let him get away with business as usual," I said.
Barbie watched me scoop up my high heels. "I'd say this is anything but business as usual."
Across the parking lot, Rainer was giving me an inscrutable look. I waved for him to wait for me, but all he did was throw his hands up in a gesture of irritation.
"See? What was all that about?" I asked Barbie.
She sighed. "Maybe he was trying to be nice."
I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "And that's why I love you. You're always trying to see the good in everyone."
"He can't have any good in him?" Barbie asked.
It was my turn to sigh. "You don't know the corporate world. It's all smiles and backstabbing."
My sister looked skeptical, but she wished me luck anyway. I waited while she waddled off to find Deanna and the rest of the barbecue, then I spun on my bare feet and marched over to the garden patch.
Both Rainer and Mr. Reynolds looked at my bare feet but then continued their conversation. "I guarantee that your garden will have a personal touch because that is exactly what Hyperion needs. We need to prove that GroGreen is best used outside, in the garden. So, this is right where we'll be."
Mr. Reynolds turned to me. "I know publicity stunts always sound like a good idea, but are you sure?"
I winced at the rough ground but covered it with a bright smile. Inside my suit pocket, I pressed record on my phone, certain Rainer would still try to take the credit. "My team did not design GroGreen to be nothing but a game. We want to show what GroGreen makes possible."
Rainer caught my arm as I stepped on another sharp rock. "Tasha here has the real vision. She's been with GroGreen from the brainstorming stage. With her in the lead, you can be sure we'll see all the possibilities her amazing application makes possible."
I wrenched my arm free from Rainer. Did he know I was recording him or was he actually giving me the credit?
Mr. Reynolds scratched his chin. "Well, you've convinced me. I'm excited to see what you can do with this little patch of land, and I'll make sure the whole community knows."
I let Rainer do the rest of the hand-shaking and back-slapping as I carefully picked my way out of the rough dirt. He caught up to me at my car as I opened the passenger side door and sat down to rub the soles of my scuffed feet.
Rainer knelt in front of me. "Good work out there. This is really going to be something."
"Glad I could be part of it," I snapped.
He grabbed my high heels out of my hands and held them out of my reach. "I was trying to be chivalrous. No one expected you to traipse through the garden in these."
I tried to refuse, but Rainer insisted on slipping my shoes back on my feet. All I could do was ignore his remark about chivalry and keep my eyes off his wide shoulders. Rainer's strong hands were gentle as he cupped my ankle and tucked my toes into one high heel. "Let me guess: you're just being nice because you're about to jet off early. Some party over in the city?"
Rainer paused, my second shoe still in his hands. He knelt on the ground and shook his head at me. "Not at all. In fact, I thought we still had enough time to check out this native plant nursery one of the crew guys mentioned. It might look good if we sourced plants from local businesses."
I let him slip on my other shoe without a fight. "The nursery's in my neighborhood."
"Good," Rainer said. "I'll follow you to your place."
"My place?" I asked sharply. I stood up, still only reaching his chin despite my high heels.
Rainer's eyes swept down me and back up before he smiled. "Just thought you might want to change your shoes."
I could have lost him in the curves and dead-end streets of my hilly neighborhood, but Rainer's new sports car was too fast. He popped out on the street in front of my condo and stood with his hands on his hips. "I can see the Golden Gate Bridge," he called.
He was still admiring the view when I came back down the steps. I'd switched out my pencil skirt for a brand new pair of dark jeans and dainty but comfortable leather moccasins. "I'll drive," I said. "My neighborhood can get a little confusing."
We wound down the tight little streets, past a rocky beach, and then over another crest to the corner by the bay where the native plant nursery lay. Rainer jumped out of my car and opened the door for me.
"I saw three bridges from the top of that crest," Rainer said. "I didn't know any of this was here."
I rolled my eyes. "No one ever thinks there's anything outside of San Francisco."
"Honestly," Rainer said. "I think I might like your view better than my own."
I had a flash of what he would look like standing in my living. The far-off city lights twinkling behind him. His shirt loose and open when he turned to gather me into his arms. I slammed the car door harder than I intended. "Let's just look at some plants," I said.
Rainer had no idea what any of the plants were, but he listened intently. Then he pulled out his phone and got caught up. I tried to enjoy the lush nursery, all the green growing plants and bright blossoms reminding me of the house where Barbie and I grew up, but Rainer's typing irritated me.
"It's past two o'clock. That counts as a full work day for you, doesn't it?" I asked.
Rainer looked up from his phone. "Are we done?"
"Yes," I said. "Go ahead and join up with your friends or whoever you're texting."
He laughed then turned his screen around so I could see. Rainer was sifting through GroGreen's extensive reference tool and marking all the native plants he saw were available. "All I have to do is take a photo of the leaves and GroGreen matches it to the plant index."
"I know," I said, not wanting to enjoy his pleased smile.
"And, all I have to do is click it, and the plant is automatically placed in our garden blueprint. This is really amazing," Rainer said.
"You can stop now," I said. I stopped by a colorful geranium and crossed my arms over my stomach. "I know you'd rather be heading back to San Francisco. Dinner at some exclusive restaurant. Drinks on some amazing rooftop. Whatever it is, you can go now. You don't have to pretend you want to stay."
Rainer's smile disappeared, and I saw his jaw go rigid. He slipped his phone into his pocket and in one step, loomed over me. "I'm not pretending. I had a great day. You know how wonderful it is to actually get out of the office and do more than shake hands? I can't wait to break ground and get down to planting."
I slipped around him, but the aisle was tight between two wide wooden tables of green plants. "So, you like all the hands-on work. I guess I'm the only one who likes the paperwork."
"You really do, don't you?" Rainer's smile returned, softer than before. "You know what that means, right?"
"That I'm just a boring, old pencil-pusher?" I asked.
His eyebrows raised. "No. I think that means that we make a great team. So, what's next, boss?"
I was tired. Tired of fending off his warm charm and wondering why he smiled at me like that. It didn't help that Barbie had reminded me of how I felt when Rainer and I first met. That magical holiday party had left me walking on air for the whole weekend. Then he'd come back to his senses and didn't even recognize me on Monday morning.
I was too tired to pretend it didn't hurt. It was taking every ounce of self-control I had to keep from wanting him again. I had spent months agonizing over why other women got to enjoy him, his flirtations and caresses. Why didn't I get the same treatment unless he was blind drunk?
Because I was boring. According to the office rumors, I was the Ice Queen. Rainer would never be interested in me.
"How about we grab some dinner?" Rainer interrupted my thoughts.
I shook my head. "I'm done with high heels for the day. It's time for take-out and stretching out on my couch."
Rainer stepped aside so I could head back towards my car. "I'm overstaying my welcome, aren't I?"
I paused, wedged between him and the wide plant tables. The smell of honeysuckle was heavy around us and bees mumbled quietly. I couldn't tell if Rainer was playing a game or if he really looked sad. "It's not like I'm kicking you out of my neighborhood. You really like it here?" I asked.
Rainer leaned on the table behind him. "What's not to like? The city and all of that is far away. The winding roads, the hills, it all makes it seem like its own world. No wonder you're so good at your job. Once you get here, you're away from it all."
"I thought you were admiring the view of places you'd rather be," I said.
"I was admiring the distance. Why won't you believe me when I say I had a good day out here?" Rainer asked.
I was being unkind. As my mentor repeatedly reminded me, when I got too paranoid about work, I started to turn into the very kind of co-worker I hated. I couldn't see a single reason why Rainer would be lying, so I gave in. "Well, if you like Thai food, then you're welcome to have dinner with me."
It wasn't until after we'd picked up the food, plus a bottle of red wine from my local market, that I started to panic. Rainer was walking up the steps to my condo. The man who had just bought a mansion in Presidio Heights, the man who only dined at the finest restaurants with fawning women, was about to eat pad Thai off of paper plates in my tiny condo.
My fingers fumbled with my keys. "My place is a mess. It's tiny. Maybe we should have eaten in the restaurant."
Rainer snorted. "Too late now. You're not the only one who wants to get out of uncomfortable dress shoes."
I opened the door, still surprised when he slipped off his polished Italian shoes and padded into my cramped living room in his dress socks. He peeled off his suit coat and tossed it over the back of a threadbare armchair, and didn't say anything when he almost tripped over the oversized steamer trunk I used as a coffee table.
"Give me a second and I'll find some clean plates," I said.
"Paper plates are fine," Rainer said. "Who cares when we have this view to look at."
He walked to the window, and I remembered my flash-fantasy with an uncomfortable twinge. Rainer was completely at ease as he tore himself away from the view. I pulled two plates out of my cupboard with a loud rattle, determined that we'd at least eat on real china. "I know it's cramped in here, but it's usually just me."
"Well, I was going to say this place has everything you need, until you said that." Rainer pinned me with a long look.
I cleared my throat and groped in a drawer, trying to get my thoughts under control. It had been months since I had brought anyone home. Work was always such a good excuse, but Rainer wasn't buying it. I tossed him a corkscrew. "All I need is dinner and a glass of wine."
Rainer opened the wine and poured two large glasses. "You really don't bring anyone home? I'm honored."
I heaped two plates to overflowing and skirted around him to my small table. "You don't count. You're from work."
Rainer was right behind me when I put the plates down and turned around. "Work's over there. Far away. This is different."
I should have hated the thrill that ran up my back. I should have recited every name in the long list of his known office conquests in my head. I should have pushed him away and reminded us both that work was all we had.
Instead, I kissed him.
His sharp intake of breath assured me he was just as shocked as me. His lips were tart with the first sip of his wine, but the second kiss was warmer, sweeter. I reached up on tiptoes to brush my lips against his again. Without my high heels, I felt small, slight against his wide chest. His loose collar brushed my bare neckline and the caress of it made me want to lean in. He was tall and strong; there was so much power there. At work, I spent every second guarding myself, holding myself up higher and straighter. It felt so good to let it go and sink against him.
Rainer's hands slipped around my waist, crushed me to him, and then backed off. I felt the heat of them hovering just over my hips, and I longed to feel the pressure of his grasp again.
Then Rainer let out a delicious sigh that made my fingers flex. I was the one with the power, no matter my diminutive height. Suddenly, the kiss caught fire. He was the one succumbing; I had the upper hand.
"No." I pushed to let go of his arms but stayed on tip toe.
"This is different," Rainer repeated on a ragged breath.
Rainer had been different all day. Or had I just seen a different side of him? I wanted to believe that under his smooth exterior, Rainer was really different. I drew my hands up to his collar and slipped open the next button.
This was different, I realized. It felt inevitable. Ever since he stumbled into me at the office holiday party, I had known I wanted this, and there was no turning back now. If I was going to be a rumor, then I at least wanted to enjoy what everyone would assume.
I opened another button then pressed my lips to his warm throat. Rainer's pulse was galloping, but his hands were slow. He gently tugged my blouse loose, unbuttoning the top of my jeans as he worked his way around my waist. When Rainer's hands slipped under my blouse and brushed against my bare skin, I lifted my lips from his throat.
"Tasha," he whispered. He teased me with two kisses then tugged my blouse up and over my head.
I stepped back, suddenly self-conscious. I had seen the other women at the office he had been with. Then I saw his eyes. Rainer didn't blink as his eyes dropped from my lips to the white lace of my bra. The delicate and revealing lingerie seemed to captivate him. He reached out both hands, palms up.
I shook my head and reached for his shirt. "Fair is fair."
I lost myself in the next kiss, the touch of his skin against mine, and only surfaced long enough to help him slip my jeans down over my hips. Rainer fell back onto my couch and pulled me down onto his lap. I resisted, not wanting to lose the friction of my thin lace against his dark chest hair. I sat down astride him, reveling in his approving moan. I pressed smiling lips against his mouth until his hands pulled me closer.
Rainer clasped me, and our bodies rubbed together, the tantalizing friction so acute between my legs that I moaned out loud. In response, he popped the clasp on my bra and peeled it out from between us. Again, I moaned as he pressed me up against him and released me. I flowed against him like a wave.
When I felt the exquisite strokes bringing me higher than words, Rainer wrapped his arms around me and shifted me down onto my back on the couch. My hands helped his as he tugged off my white lace panties and then reached for his own waistline. We fumbled, and he laughed, bemused by his own clumsiness.
I wanted that smile, wanted to feel it, and ran my hands up his arms to grasp his shoulders. Rainer's smile gave way to a hungry growl, and he lowered himself into my arms. We both moved slowly, his weight coming over me slowly as my feet drifted up his legs to wrap around his waist. Then our lips touched, and Rainer devoured me with a kiss.
I arched up, feeling him hard against me, then he shifted, and we suddenly fitted together. So deep, so tight, his breath panting against my wet sigh of pleasure. I rocked upward, just a slight pull with my legs, and we both groaned in ecstasy.
Rainer's lips never left mine even as our rhythm sped and slowed. He teased me, and himself, as he withdrew and went deeper. I felt his muscles shudder, contract, concentrating until the pressure pushed everything out of my mind. There was nothing but a bright burst that radiated through every inch of me. The wild waves of it caught Rainer, and he dropped his head to my shoulder with a long, emptying sigh.
We waited, my hands drifting up and down his back, his lips drawing a trail from my ear to my shoulder and back again, until the waves subsided. Then Rainer looked at me, the electricity back in his blue eyes, and I remembered the inevitable is rarely a good thing.
What had I done?