Chapter Twenty-Three
Noah
I gave her the new office and the promotion. God knows she deserved it after everything she had done for the company. Even though I had said to her that it would take time to happen while the press died down, I wanted her to have it as soon as possible.
I figured now that we had gone official as a couple at the press release, it wouldn’t look like I was promoting her only to save face to keep the public from interpreting our relationship as a sleazy affair with my secretary.
Even though Elena had deserved every inch of the new office I’d given her, and she had the qualifications for the position as well – she was perfect for the job – I also promoted her because I felt terrible. She had to deal with Nicole. It was unfair that my past was interfering with our relationship. I felt like I owed her one.
I wasn’t trying to buy her with the promotion, but I didn’t know how else to make it up to her. Giving her the new position was the one way I knew how to show Elena and the world that I didn’t care about what they thought and said about me in the papers. I cared about Elena and our relationship.
That was a noble cause, right?
Elena’s office wasn’t very far from mine. I had chosen the location because of the view of the city and that it was around the corner from mine. Not that it meant anything. Elena hadn’t spoken to me since her car window had been smashed in and her house had been ransacked.
I guess I couldn’t blame her for being upset. The last thing she needed right now, with the baby and all, was someone stalking us and making life hell for her. Nicole had overstepped the line by breaking into her apartment, and the police were still on the lookout for her. But it wasn’t my fault, and I felt like I was being punished for it. I wanted to pick up the phone and call her extension. I wanted to hear her voice, to hear that she was alright. But I wasn’t going to push it. If anyone understood how tedious it could be when someone didn’t leave you alone when you wanted nothing more, it was me. Our situation wasn’t the same as my situation with Nicole, but I still didn’t want to force Elena to talk to me when she didn’t want to.
I wanted her to come to me on her own. Which was something I wasn’t sure was going to happen anytime soon. She had been so upset when she’d called me to tell me what had happened at her place. I’d wanted to go to her, but she’d said no, and now she was staying with a friend. I didn’t know where her friend lived, and I didn’t want to impose. So, I had to wait until Elena was finally ready to talk to me.
And the wait was killing me.
I was worried that this meant it was the end of our relationship. It was so soon after we had come out to the press with it. We could be in love without having to hide anything. Now this situation was turning out all wrong. I didn’t want to lose Elena. She was an amazing person to be with and not only because she had a hot body and was unbelievable in bed. She had a beautiful mind and a kind and gentle personality. Everything about her was pleasant to be around.
And she was so good with Lillian. It was rare to find someone that Lilly was comfortable around. Someone who was so good with her when my baby girl was shy around most people. The fact that I liked Elena and my child did as well was something that I knew I wouldn’t find again in a million years.
And it had only been a few short months that she’d been with me in the office. I had fallen for her so hard in such a short time, but somehow it felt like we’d been together for years. I felt like I knew everything about her even though we hardly knew each other. It was what it should be like, what real love and fate felt like. I was sure of it. I hadn’t had it with Cheryl because I hadn’t known what to look for, but now that I knew, I wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less, ever again.
Not to mention that she was carrying my child. When Cheryl had left, I hadn’t dared to think about having more children. I was already raising a daughter on my own. To bring more children into a world that was deceiving and painful seemed like a bad idea. But everything had changed when I’d met Elena, and now that she was pregnant with my child, it felt like the light had come on in my life.
There was hope for a bright future again. At least, there had been before Nicole had gone and ruined everything for me.
I was driving myself crazy thinking about Elena, aching that I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I picked up the phone and dialed her extension.
“Please come to my office,” I said. I sounded angry, I knew, but I was freaking out.
Elena knocked on my door a short while later. She stepped in and closed the door behind her without me having to ask her.
“How is the search for a new secretary going?” she asked.
I hadn’t even thought about replacing her yet. “I’ll get there,” I said.
Elena nodded, and an awkward silence stretched between us.
“What’s going on?” I asked, finally breaking the silence. “Why are you avoiding me at all costs?”
Elena’s face was carefully blank, her stance betraying nothing that she might be feeling. She was so switched off and distant. It hurt. We were only a few feet away from each other, but it felt like there was an ocean between us that I couldn’t cross it.
She took a deep breath. “I can’t do this,” she said.
“Do what?” I asked. I wanted her to put it into words so there was no misunderstanding. Was she wasn’t talking about the silence between us? I thought she meant our relationship.
“Us,” she said.
My heart dropped to my shoes.
“Elena, don’t do this,” I said, but she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, Noah. I can’t do a relationship when this is already happening so soon into the game. I’m not equipped to handle this thing with Nicole, and I have to look out for myself more than ever, now.”
I shook my head back and forth as if I could negate what she was saying if I willed it hard enough.
“What about the baby?” I asked. Surely, we had an obligation to be together for the baby’s sake? I couldn’t have my one child grow up without a mother and the other without a father. Or worse, lose the baby altogether.
“I’m going to keep the baby,” Elena said, and I let out a breath of relief. “And we can work out custody. But I can’t be with you.” Tears rolled over her cheeks. Her expression was still blank. There was no wailing or contorted facial expressions, no excessive sobbing. She stood before me with a straight face and tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Don’t do this,” I said again. “Please, Elena. Let’s work it out.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Noah. I can’t. I can’t live a life where I feel like I have to look over my shoulder all the time. I can’t be with you when this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to be a mom soon, and I must look after myself.”
Istood and walked around the desk. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. I wanted to keep her safe from the world that had somehow turned against her. But when I came closer to her, she shook her head and took a step back. The rejection wedged itself between my ribs like a knife.
“I’m sorry, Noah,” Elena said. She wiped her cheeks, and it was like she hadn’t cried at all. She touched her eyelids with her fingertip sand inspected them for mascara before she swallowed hard and looked me in the eye one more time before turning around. She opened the door and left my office, closing the door behind her.
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe what was happening. We had broken up. I had believed I’d found true love, and now, I had lost it again. I had let her walk out of my office without fighting for her, without grabbing her hand and telling her how much I loved her.
But she hadn’t wanted me to touch her, and I wouldn’t get into her personal space if that’s what she wanted.
I sighed heavily and walked back to my desk. I sat down and stared at the paperwork that I didn’t have the energy to take care of anymore. I had lost Elena, and nothing else would fill the gap that had opened inside me.
Elena loved me. I knew she did. But this wasn’t only about love. It was much bigger than that. So I couldn’t blame her for the choices she made, for how she wanted to handle the situation. I couldn’t stop her from trying to look after herself.
But I needed to change what had happened. I needed to prove to her how much she meant to me and that I could keep her safe. What she needed was a grand romantic gesture and some time away from all the attention. Where no one could find us so she could think about how she felt about me without anyone or anything interfering.
So, I would make that happen for her. I could do something drastic if it meant I could win back the girl of my dreams.
I picked up the phone and dialed Doug’s extension.
“Can you handle things around the office for a couple of days while I’m away?” I asked him.
“You’ve scheduled the investor’s meeting for Friday. I can’t handle that,” he said.
“I’ll be back before then. I need someone to take care of business until then. Let’s say Thursday at the latest.”
Doug hesitated. “I guess it won’t be a problem. But if you keep expecting these favors from me, I need a raise, man.”
I chuckled. A raise was the least of my problems right now. “You got it,” I said. “As soon as the profits after the launch are enough to do something about it, you’ve got your raise.”
“I was just kidding, but I’ll take it,” Doug said. “Leave a list on your desk for me about what I need to take care of. I’ll handle it.”
“Thanks, bud,” I said and hung up. I didn’t always agree with Doug’s views on the world, but he was a good friend. There was no doubt about it. And with him in the office, taking care of my company for me, I could take care of some business of my own.
I wrote down a few things for Doug to look at before I left the office and drove home. I parked the car and walked into the house. First, I arranged a hotel outside of town, making a reservation under a name that wouldn’t be traced back to me. The last thing I needed was the press hounding me. I packed a bag with enough for two days. When I was done with my own packing, I walked to Lilly’s room and packed a princess suitcase with clothes and some toys for her, too.
After I had taken care of everything, I phoned Diane, who would be on her way to pick up Lilly from daycare soon, and told her what the plans were. I would pay her extra to pack her bag and come with us to help me take care of Lilly.