Chapter Eleven
The winter break had been painful. While Ian had been scrambling to find an appropriate new head for the project to connect with Meryl’s domestic and sexual violence organization as well as deciding what to do with this unfinished book, the worst part of the fallout came when he was at home. He had gotten used to Hazel coming over—sharing his bed, walking through his penthouse in various states of undress, humming bits and pieces of numbers they’d heard at the symphony. He had thought that she would come back after their fight in the restaurant, since she didn’t have a ride, but she’d simply disappeared, and would not take his calls.
He was alone. And every thought of her stung.
Hazel would be fine without him. She could easily get an internship for her Capstone, find jobs on her own, do her own research as she continued to make her way to the top. The reality was that Ian needed her. He couldn’t give her up. He also could not find her. He’d tried to visit her at her apartment, but her friend Natalie always rebuffed him and claimed that Hazel didn’t live there anymore. Ian wasn’t sure if that was true. He couldn’t keep hanging around the apartment building though. Not without giving himself away.
During his long nights, he wondered to himself if it had been worth it to keep their affair a secret. He’d always imagined that he’d been in control of Hazel, and she would follow his lead regarding their relationship. As powerful as she could be, she also had let Ian steer their relationship in ways that Ian hadn’t expected. Now, every night, he got up, paced around his house, saw her out of the corner of his eye, and thought about whether he’d been taking advantage of her age and uncertainty so that he didn’t have to make a commitment yet.
He wasn’t certain of that. However, he was certain that he should have just been honest with Hazel about how he felt—how he loved her, but needed time, not just for PR purposes, but to adjust to being in a serious relationship again. Sometimes, he dreamed of having conversations with her or spotting her on campus, but she always slipped away before the two of them could talk.
It was nearing the end of January when Ian finally spotted Hazel for real. She was talking to some friends, wearing another loose sweater that she apparently favored during the winter months, and set her bag on the ground and stretched her back.
Ian considered letting her be, but only for a moment. He was on campus because he’d had a meeting that morning with the head of the Business department, who was evaluating the practicum from last semester in hopes of repeating the course, either with Ian or other visiting professors. Now he was standing there, watching Hazel from afar, like some kind of teenage pervert. He took a few steps closer and, suddenly, from his new angle, or thanks to a few students moving along with their business, he could now see her in full. He had to blink and shake his head to be certain that it was actually her.
The sweater was not that loose. It flowed long enough to be a dress and hung freely with the cardigan Hazel wore over it, but around her middle, the fabric curved forward in a distinctive bulge.
Hazel was pregnant. She was clearly, blatantly pregnant. Had she known when they’d fought in the restaurant? Ian took a moment to berate himself. Of course, she had known. She had been avoiding alcohol, taking mere sips of wine when it was offered. She had looked pale and tired, and… He should have guessed. His first wife, Pearl, had gotten pregnant once, and he knew the symptoms before she’d lost the baby and been unable to get pregnant again.
He should have known. And he should have been honest with her. Hazel must have felt so trapped…
Ian walked up to the group of them quickly and said in a booming voice, “Hello there, Miss Greenwood. You’re looking well.”
Hazel jumped as she heard him. A hand flew over the curve of her modest belly. How far along was she? She could only be four months at most…
Wait, was this baby even his?
He realized that he was glaring at her when she started glaring back.
“Good morning, Dr. Cartwright. I didn’t know you’d be coming back to campus. Or did you have business to follow up on here?” she said sharply.
Ian sighed. “You and I need to talk about what you left unfinished at Cartwright & Benton. If you could come to my office on campus sometime today?”
Hazel looked at her friends. “I could come around 1:00 pm if that’s okay? I have a meeting, and then I have to eat lunch.”
Ian found himself bobbing his head up and down dumbly. That little emphasis made his heart jerk inside of him. She did have to. It was no longer an option to subsist on Pop-Tarts and bean sprouts. He gave a nod to the others and started to walk to his office. It was still his, despite the fact he wasn’t teaching this semester. God, with this development, they’d probably never bring him back. They’d probably set fire to everything mentioning the idea of the practicum.
***
Hazel showed up roughly twenty minutes late. Rapping on his doorframe, she peered inside, and Ian had flashbacks to those first few weeks they’d know one another, and she came to his office to argue about grades and his lax discipline with his class.
Now, there she stood, face slightly softened, cheeks rosy red, and her body changing right in front of him.
“Hazel,” he said, his voice so much softer than he’d intended.
“Dr. Cartwright,” she replied, coldly.
He stood and beckoned her forward. “Please, take a seat.” He waited for a moment for her to settle herself, and then he shut the door behind her. His office at the university wasn’t very large, but it was a single office, and it had comfortable enough furniture.
“You wanted to talk?” Hazel raised a brow.
“I think it’s obvious why.”
“Is it?” Hazel pursed her lips.
Ian didn’t want to admit that it was fair that she was being so tight-lipped now—since he’d refused to talk about their relationship the many times she’d brought it up. Rather than sit at his desk in front of her, he pulled up a chair beside her.
“Hazel, you’re pregnant.”
“Really?” Hazel blinked, as if surprised, and looked down at her stomach. “I thought I’d just had too many tacos.”
“Be serious.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t want to be serious,” she said, her voice breaking a little. Ah, there. She wouldn’t be able to keep up this cold façade for long.
“I should have tried to talk, yes, but you should have told me about this!”
“Who says you’re the one I should be telling?” she challenged.
Ian stood suddenly, looking down at her. That wasn’t possible, was it? She couldn’t have… Then again…
“How far along are you?” he demanded.
“That’s a personal question.”
Ian leaned over and grabbed her shoulders. “You be straight with me, Hazel! Is that baby mine?”
“I-I um.” She looked away and covered her eyes.
“Oh.” Ian wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I yelled, love, but I have to know. Did I do this? I thought I’d been careful. I can help—”
“As what? A benefactor? You’re going to be the patron of my babies?” Hazel said bitterly.
Ian froze. Babies. Plural. “You’re having more than one?”
“I mean…” Hazel smoothed her hands over the front of her sweater. She definitely was too big for this to be one child.
Ian crouched down and cupped her face, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “They’re mine, aren’t they? I can’t fix the hurt I caused. I can only help you now, not just with money. I don’t know how it’ll work, but I do love you.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m pregnant.”
“No. I’m just saying that because you left me, and rightfully so.” Ian pressed his forehead to hers. “Don’t leave me again? Please? I need you. So much that I can barely breathe without you around. Please understand this failing of mine. It’s frightening to need someone so much.”
Hazel offered him a watery smile. “I kinda get that, yeah.”
More fat tears ran down her cheeks, and Ian kissed her. Gently at first, but more determinedly as she began kissing him back. His hands moved down her sides, feeling her new curves, and the warmth of her body. He wanted to be near to her, to make up for the hurt he’d caused them both in the past month. He’d missed out on the first part of his children’s lives. He wanted to be there for every moment forward.
Lifting her dress tentatively, Ian looked on in amazement. The tender swell of her belly, the smooth skin, he ran his hand over it, half expecting movement, but it was too early for that. They were in there, though, and Hazel had been caring for them in his absence, clearly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her belly, then snaked his hands around her sides as he moved up to kiss her again.
“Hazel, I knew I wanted you for a long time. I’ll find a way for us to be together, for this to be okay.”
Hazel put her hands over hers and claimed his mouth hungrily. She moved his hands down under the waistband of her leggings, and needing no further encouragement, he pushed them down. Her body was changed, but she was still luscious, riper than ever and Ian wanted nothing more than to take a bite. Instead, he pressed kisses down her belly until he could slip her panties down. Then, he rose and lifted her onto his desk. She pushed back a pile of papers and leaned back on her elbows. He ran his hands down her thighs and groaned at how thick and sexy she was right now.
And it would only continue. Ian’s perpetual desire to spoil her might be sated by the end of this. Regardless, he bowed his head before her and licked up and down her lips, feeling her twitching and writhing. She was more sensitive than ever and, after a moment, he pulled back and began to tease her with his fingers. She jerked and moaned. She was almost too sensitive.
He pulled back and hitched her legs up. No need for condoms now. That boat had long sailed. Instead, now that she was slick from his teasing, Ian gave his cock a few pumps and slid his thick erection into her.
Hazel let out a gasp and moaned his name. He pressed his forehead to her knee and said her name as well, followed by a tender, “I love you.”
And he did. With every tease, every thrust, every moment her body writhed and jiggled in response to his erection moving in and out of her, in and out, he loved her more. This was the woman so complex that he was continuously surprised by her strength and her dreams for a better world. Carefully, he rubbed his fingers over her mound as he thrusted, aware that too much might be painful. He had given her enough pain. Now was only pleasure for them both.
Hazel came, squeezing her legs together and biting back a shriek. Ian gasped as well, as the walls of her tightened around him. It only took a few more thrusts to finish him off, and he jerked forward, holding back his own guttural moan.
He would have to take her back to the penthouse so they could take their time with their reunion. Then, he could make her scream properly. For now, he kissed her lips over and over, petting her hair and feeling ever so grateful she had taken him back so easily. It may have simply just been because she was pregnant and wanted her children’s father to be near, but Ian aimed to make this last. She had him now, and he was going nowhere.