Chapter Twenty-Six
Elena
On Wednesday, I was okay to go back to my own apartment again. Nothing had happened with Nicole since I had broken it off with Noah, and I was starting to think she would leave me alone. The police were on call when I needed them to come and save me, and I had to go back to my own life at some point. I had lived with Beth long enough. They needed the space to be a loving couple again.
When I walked into the office, Noah was still absent. I knew where he was now, but I tried to push the knowledge away. I felt terrible about standing him up, about telling him I would be there and then not going. I had texted him late at night when I’d laid awake in the dark, missing him like a limb and wondering how the hell I was going to get through my life without him. When I’d woken up the next morning, groggy with little sleep and reeling from morning sickness, I had decided against it. I couldn’t see him.
I had thought about letting him know, but I’d known that if I’d told him that I wasn’t coming, he would have tried to convince me. I’d been terrified that he would succeed. So I hadn’t gone into the office because I’d thrown up all morning, but I hadn’t driven to Daly City, either.
I had stayed in Beth’s apartment, alone because they’d both been at work, and tried to sleep it all off. I had hoped that if I’d slept the whole day, it would be like none of it was real.
It hadn’t worked, of course. It was still real, and it still hurt like a bitch. But I would have to get through it. I never wanted to lose Noah, but I had to step away now. I had to get myself out of the picture. I didn’t have what it took to deal with a psycho ex that could potentially hurt me. I couldn’t face Nicole if she were willing to do more than break my windows or break into my house.
But it wasn’t only that. It was Noah’s reputation and what this would do to him. He had worked so hard to save his company, and with me in the picture, that had been nothing but rumors from start to finish. And it wouldn’t end there because I was pregnant with his child. I couldn’t make it go away. There would be more rumors, and I wouldn’t do that to him.
It was what I kept telling myself, that I was doing this for him. It was the only thing that made it even a little bearable.
A knock on my door had me frozen on the couch. I had left work early, but I wasn’t expecting anyone. I was terrified that it would be Nicole, but a male voice called out my name, and I recognized Noah.
I opened the door. I had stood him up, and I felt so bad about it that I couldn’t leave him standing outside my door, ignoring him. When I opened the door, he was angry. It radiated off him, his features riddled with it. And he was so attractive. The fire in his eyes made him hot as hell.
“Oh, it’s nice to know you’re still alive,” he said and the anger crackled around me in the room. “I was worried something might have happened to you. That I would have found you dead in your apartment. What a relief to know that you just stood me up.”
“Noah,” I said.
“What?” he snapped.
I was suddenly angry, too. Yes, I had been wrong. But it wasn’t necessary for him to be sarcastic about it.
“This is my house,” I said. “You can’t just walk in here and reprimand me like I’m a child.”
“No, you’re right,” he said. “If you were a child, how you treated me might have been forgivable. But you knew exactly what you were doing. You let me believe there was hope, and then you decided you didn’t feel like giving me a chance. Did it slip your mind to let me know, or did you shatter me on purpose?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I couldn’t tell him the truth, tell him that I had been looking out for myself and hadn’t thought what this might do to him, not completely.
“I told you we are over,” I said instead. “You’re expecting me to come running every time you call, but I don’t want that.” It wasn’t true, of course. It was exactly what I wanted.
“Well, forgive me for thinking there was something serious between us, something worth fighting for. Was I just a quick fuck?” he asked. “If I’d known, I would have been less liberal with my emotions.”
“That’s rich coming from the guy that had a fling with his secretary,” I said. “It only became convenient to date me when I saved your company.”
The anger on his face was so raw I thought he was going to punch a hole in my wall. He turned to the side, putting his hands on his hips, breathing hard. I could see him fight to gain control.
“That was a low blow,” he said in a soft voice, and he was right. It had been. But damned if I was going to apologize for it. He couldn’t walk in here and accuse me of all kinds of things, even if it was accurate. I didn’t react well to accusations, to being attacked. Not in my own home.
I suddenly wanted to cry, and that made me angrier. He wasn’t exploding anymore, and it gave space for my emotions to show. And my emotions were all over the place.
“You can’t barge in here and tell me what I should and shouldn’t do,” I said, but my voice cracked at the end of my sentence, and my eyes welled with tears.
Noah’s face softened when I started to cry, and that only made it worse. I wished he would go back to shouting at me so I could get a grip. So I could shove the emotions away and match his anger. Anger was so much easier. But Noah stepped closer to me, and I came undone at the seams.
“I can’t do this,” I said.
“You keep saying that,” he said. “But I can’t do this without you.”
I shook my head. “I won’t be the person to bring down your company,” I said. “There are so many rumors, and it’s not going to stop. It’s only starting, and if I don’t pull back, it’s going to get worse and worse.”
Noah shook his head. “We can handle it,” he said.
“I don’t want something to be handled. If we do it like this, there will be nothing to handle. I can’t do this.”
“Stop saying that!” he cried out, and he was angry again. But I was already crying, now. I couldn’t stop it, pull back the tears and go back to a screaming match. “You’re lying to yourself, making yourself believe this isn’t meant to be.”
I shook my head. “This is still my choice, Noah. I don’t have to be with you if I don’t want to.”
“But I know you want to,” he countered. “You love me as much as I love you.”
I swallowed hard. He wasn’t wrong. I hated that he knew that without me showing it, but he was right.
“I can’t do this to you. Your company,” I whispered.
Noah rolled his eyes. “Do you think I give a shit about my company? God, I would lose the company a hundred times over if it meant I could have you. Don’t you get it? I care about exactly three things. Lilly, you, and the baby.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. He was confessing his undying love to me. But I shook my head.
“No, Noah,” I said.
He grabbed me by the arms. “What do I have to do to get through to you?” he asked. His face was so close to mine, the strength in his arms pure, and suddenly I couldn’t think straight anymore. I was aware of his body, how close he was. The strength that coursed through his muscles. And all I could think was that I wanted him to fuck me.
Noah’s eyes slid down to my lips, and the atmosphere shifted and charged around us. He pulled me close to him and pressed his lips against mine, mashing our lips together. My hands were in his hair, his hands on my back under my shirt, and I suddenly wondered how I had been able to breathe without him.
It was urgent immediately. We had lost time to make up for. It had only been a few short days, but it felt like a lifetime that I had spent without him. We had to make up for the distance between us by filling the cracks with love and the lust that spilled between us. Noah’s lips mashed against mine, his hands were in my hair, holding my head. I pushed my hands underneath his shirt so my palms were against his bare skin, and he was hot to the touch.
Noah pushed me backward until the wall was at my back, and he pinned me with his body. His cock was hard in his pants, his kissing aggressive and eager, mimicking my own.
He groped at my clothes, pulling them off as fast as he could as I returned the favor.
When I was shirtless, we spun around and headed for the couch. I managed to get him out of his shirt before we collapsed on the couch in a tangle of limbs. I was on top of him, my body trying to cover every inch of him. I wanted to take in every part of him, to drink in the energy that I’d been missing out on.
Noah unhooked my bra and pulled it off, dropping it on the floor. His hands were on my breasts, and his mouth followed, sucking my nipples into his mouth one by one, alternating between the two. I pushed my hands into his hair and curled my fingers, twisting the hair around them, holding onto him as his head moved from one breast to the other.
“God, I missed you,” Noah mumbled against my breasts. His hands moved down my back, and he pushed his hands into my pants, cupping my ass and squeezing. He ground me against his cock, pushing me down into him with his hands. He worked my pants down my legs, tugging and pulling until I was out of them.
His jeans were rough against my thighs. I sat up, straddling him. I unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them before working them down to his knees. I pulled his jocks down too, and his hard cock sprung free. The tip was slick with lust, the skin smooth and straining up toward his belly button with desire. I lowered myself down, let my hair brush his hips and closed my mouth around his dick.
He breathed in sharply when I sucked him into my mouth and bobbed my head up and down, sliding his cock and out from between my lips.
“You’re going to be the end of me,” Noah growled, pushing me gently away. He pulled me up toward him so that I could kiss him again and held onto me, shifting us off the couch. It was easy for him to stand up with me. My legs were wrapped around his waist, and he kicked off his jeans and jocks on the way to my bedroom.
When he put me down on the bed, Noah ran his hand down my legs and back up again, and I shivered. His eyes were on mine the whole time. He pulled down my panties and threw them on the floor before he parted my thighs with his hands. He lowered his head and closed his mouth over my pussy. I shuddered and cried out as he sucked on my clit and licked his way to my entrance and back.
I hadn’t had a lot of time to give him a blowjob, but he was taking his sweet time with me, licking me and sucking me until my first orgasm shuddered through me. I cried out and curled on the bed, pushing my pussy toward Noah’s face.
“You’re so hot when you come,” Noah said.
“Fuck me,” I replied.
And he did. He crawled over me and pushed into me without delay. He was hard and long and I moaned as he slid in all the way to the hilt. He started fucking me, thrusting in and out of me harder and faster, splitting me in two with his dick until I was crying out with every thrust.
Another orgasm rocked me to my core, and I curled my legs around Noah’s thighs, pulling him deeper into me. He made small movements, letting me ride it out until it was over.
“Lie on your back,” I said.
Noah smiled. “I love it when you get all bossy,” he said. He pulled out of me and did as I asked. I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, lowering myself onto him. I gasped when he pushed into me again, deeper than before, and I rocked my hips back and forth, riding him. I picked up the pace, still driven by the urgency that pushed us. We were healing all the wounds that had opened between us, and with every thrust, I felt like I was getting closer and closer to him again.
My clit was sensitive, and I moaned as I rubbed myself up against his pubic bone as I rode him. It was almost uncomfortable, but it was the kind that provides pleasure, and another orgasm washed over me as I fell apart on top of him.
Noah took over, thrusting into me from underneath, his hands on my hips to steady me. He fucked me hard, and I cried out in his ear, collapsing onto his chest. He shoved himself into me as deep as he could and came inside me, emptying himself out. I shivered as he jerked and released.
Finally, it calmed down, and we were heaving and panting. I lay on top of him our skin slick with sweat, our hearts hammering against each other.
“I missed you,” Noah said in my ear.
I lifted my head and kissed him. When I clambered off him, my body was stiff, but it was delicious. I rolled onto my side next to him, and Noah pulled me into the crook of his arm. He kissed me on the forehead.
“I’m never going to lose you again,” he vowed. And that was alright with me.
We lay together in silence for a while before Noah turned his face to me.
“Come home with me,” he said.
I nodded. I wanted to be with him. I didn’t know how I thought I could do this without him. We kissed before we dressed to leave. When we left my apartment, he took my hand and kissed my fingers before taking the overnight bag from me that I had packed, ever the gentleman. He led me to his car, opened the door for me and closed it again before walking around to his side.
When he was seated, he smiled at me, and his face was beautiful in the dark – happy and caring – the face I wanted to look at for as long as we could make it.