Chapter Four
Elena
On Sunday I was meeting Beth for lunch. We met at Naked Lunch on Broadway. It was the kind of place that was upscale and homey at the same time, cozy and casual with creative snacks and drinks.
We sat down at a table toward the back after hugging each other longer than was necessary. I hadn’t seen Beth since we were in college together.
Beth was a year younger than I was, a year behind with her graduation and only set to finish in May. We had met in a class we’d shared for sophomore and freshman year students, and we’d hit it off so well we’d lived together for a couple of monthsIt had changed after Beth had moved in with her boyfriend of six years – the man she was marrying, now.
“I can’t believe we’ve waited this long to hang out,” Beth said. “It’s a crime.”
I nodded. “Life happens, and before you know it, you’re old and alone.”
“And melodramatic,” Beth pointed out. We both laughed.
“Besides, I’m not alone. I have Rick. And you? You can’t still be single, a hot thing on wheels like you are.”
I laughed again. I didn’t exactly see myself as a “hot thing on wheels” like Beth explained it. At least, not usually. When I was with Noah, it was different. Everything was different around him.
A waiter arrived and took our order of gourmet sandwiches and coffee.
“I don’t have anyone,” I said.
Beth reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “That’s just because he hasn’t come along yet,” she said.
Or because he was my boss and it was forbidden, I thought.
“How’s your new job?” Beth asked. “You’re permanent now, right?”
I nodded. “It’s great,” I said. “I feel like I’m part of the family that is Saturn Intelligence.”
That part was true. I did feel at home, there.
The coffee arrived, and our conversation halted while the waiter made a fuss about putting the cups in front of us and pointing out the sugar. Beth took the artificial sweetener from the sugar square, and I watched her pour it into her coffee. This was why she stayed model skinny, built like she stepped from the pages of a magazine. Nothing like me with my curves, big ass and big breasts to balance it all out.
“So, you studied an MBA to become a secretary?” Beth asked, stirring her coffee before sucking on the spoon.
I rolled my eyes. “You sound like my mom.” I doctored my coffee.
“Sorry,” Beth said. “I’m working my ass off and I hope this isn’t all there is for me.”
I shook my head. “You’ll get some fancy job and quit before a year is over because Rick is wealthy, and he’ll offer to support you,” I said.
“That’s not true,” Beth said. “You know how important it is to be independent.’
I nodded, but I didn’t think I was wrong. Beth and Rick were the perfect couple, supportive and in sync in a way I could only dream to be with someone. He would support her because he doted on her, and she would let him because she knew that it was his love language.
“How are your classes going?” I asked.
Beth shrugged. “Besides being sick of studying? Well enough. I can’t wait until this is over, though. I’m in the final stretch. I’m so jealous you graduated already.”
“But your life is on track with everything else,” I said. “A place of your own, a perfect boyfriend and soon a degree. I foresee a great job lined up in the near future and a proposal from the man you ditched me for.”
Beth laughed. “I didn’t ditch you for him. But it’s love, Elena. You can’t blame me, right?” She fiddled with her napkin.
“What?” I asked.
The sandwiches arrived, and we sat in silence while our food was arranged as our coffee had been. When the waiter left, Beth lifted her left hand. A diamond I hadn’t seen before sparkled on her finger.
“Oh, my God!” I cried and grabbed her hand, studying the ring. “Why didn’t you call me the moment it happened?”
“Because it happened this morning. You’re the first person I’m telling. I know I’m supposed to do the whole gift thing, and I will I swear, but will you be my maid of honor? I can’t wait until I have everything together to ask you.”
I leaned over the table, jostling our coffee so they both spilled and hugged her.
“Of course,” I said. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I’m so happy, E,” Beth said, smiling. She was glowing like any future bride should. “It’s not going to be forever before we get married. I don’t want a two-year engagement.”
“I bet Rick is in a hurry, too,” I said. They’d already been dating for so many years they knew what they were getting themselves into. Beth laughed and nodded.
“Now you just need to find someone.”
I shrugged. “Well, if I fell for the people that weren’t off limits it would make thing easier.”
“What are you talking about?” Beth asked, frowning.
I looked up at her, and my silence was enough of an answer. Beth’s eyes twinkled. “You can’t keep secrets from me,” she said.
“What are secrets?” I asked, and we giggled. I told Beth everything and she told me everything. At least, we used to do that. But it was so easy to seamlessly slip into the comfortable friendship we’d had. When time passed, and we didn’t change to each other, it showed off how great we were as friends.
“Is it someone at work?” Beth asked. “I can’t think of anyone else that would be off limits for you. Your mom will accept anyone at this point so you don’t become an old maid.”
“Thanks for that,” I said, pausing to eat.
“I’m kidding,” Beth laughed. “Tell me.”
I took a deep breath, swallowing my food.
“It’s my boss.”
Beth raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, really off limits. The boss sleeping with his secretary? Cliché.”
I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling. “Bitch,” I said, cutting another bite from my gourmet sandwich. It had been pinned down with a toothpick to keep all the components together. “And we’re not sleeping together. We only kissed.”
I glanced up at Beth to gauge her reaction. Her hazel eyes were on my face, her lips parted, and she buzzed with curiosity.
“At least,” I added, “he kissed me. It was unexpected. But fantastic.”
Beth chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like trouble to me.”
I shrugged, putting a bite in my mouth. I chewed, thinking about Noah and the way he’d pressed his lips against mine.
“I can see now why you’re so happy at work,” Beth said. “How did it make you feel?”
“I can’t explain it to you,” I said, swallowing. “He’s amazing, Beth. I really like him. I know I shouldn’t, and I tried not to. But I couldn’t help it.”
“Are you sure you’re the only one that feels that way? Or does he have a string of girls?”
I was offended. Beth was being a good friend, and her question was legitimate. But it made me feel like I could be a fling, and I didn’t want to think I was.
“He’s not like that. He has a daughter,” I said defensively.
“That doesn’t sound like a redeeming quality,” Beth pointed out.
I sighed. “He’s a single dad with full custody; thirty so he’s grown up a bit. But what I mean is that he’s not the kind that screws around and has a string of women.” At least, that was what I thought. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure. I didn’t know him outside the office. But the Noah I had come to know – charming and funny – didn’t fit the description of a womanizer. What did a womanizer look like? Not like Noah.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” Beth said, and there was no sarcasm in her voice, now. “If anyone deserves it, it's you. But getting involved with your boss is dangerous.”
I nodded. She was right.
“It’s not like much has happened,” I said.
“No, but it could. If you allow something, it grows stronger. Do you know what I mean?”
I nodded. If I let things go further with Noah, I would get more and more tangled up in him. Beth was right. She always was. But it was so easy to be right when you were standing on the sidelines without being emotionally involved. I couldn’t help how I felt. Beth could tell me how dangerous it was, but she hadn’t met Noah. She didn’t know how he could make me feel like I was the only person that commanded his attention, or what it meant when he told me I was good at what I did. She had no idea how it was to be there first thing in the morning with him, alone, and be the last one to see him late at night.
To know about Lillian and ask after her, to see him talk about her, rolling the words around in his mouth as if it were candy.
“Just be careful,” Beth said.
When lunch was over, I drove home. Beth and I had talked more about weddings and what she had in mind. My mind buzzed with wedding ideas and Noah, interlaced so that I knew it was dangerous to think about it all at the same time. It was better to catalog my thoughts about him somewhere else that didn’t revolve around happily-ever-after. I was steering toward heartache, otherwise.
I fished for my phone in my handbag and saw a missed call from Noah. I returned his call, and he answered almost immediately.
“I missed your call,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s the weekend.”
His voice was like velvet, caressing my skin through the phone.
“What did you need?” I asked. I wasn’t going to expect that he had phoned only to hear my voice.
“I was hoping you could attend another meeting with me. I’m meeting the Marketing Executives in the morning, and I need your support.
Well, it wasn’t a personal call, but it still meant something. He was turning to me for support.
“Of course,” I said. “First thing?”
“First thing,” he said.
“I’ll see you then,” I said.
“Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Elena.”
He hung up, and the echo of my name on his lips clung to me. I would be in the office early again. I was a morning person anyway, and I had no reason to be home any longer than it took me to get ready for work.
Besides, lately, I’d been excited to go to work. At first, it was because I was eager to make a good impression. Then it was because I enjoyed my job. Now, it was because of Noah and like a teenager, I was excited to see the man I had a crush on. I was being silly, I told myself. I was looking for trouble in a place where I would find it, and I had to stop this nonsense.
But I couldn’t.
I worked for a man I was attracted to, and the things he did weren’t helping. If he hadn’t kissed me, maybe I wouldn’t have been in so much danger of putting myself in a dangerous position. But he had done it and I’d kissed him back. And didn’t regret it at all.
A part of me wanted it all to happen again.
“You’re playing with fire,” I told myself, out loud so I could be sure I heard it. But who doesn’t like a little danger now and then to spice up the dull rise and fall of life? Besides, I’ve always like fire.