Chapter Twenty-Five
Noah
The Hampton Inn wasn’t the Ritz, but it was good enough for what I needed. It was away from reporters and stalkers but not so far that it wasn’t easy to drive to. Lilly was with me, and she had run into the room and jumped on the bed the moment we had arrived.
“Oh, no, honey we can’t do that,” Diane had said, rushing in to stop her. She had come along for the trip. I needed her to take care of Lilly for me when I saw Elena.
“But Daddy said this is an adventure, that we would have tons of fun,” Lilly had said.
“Maybe not as much fun as jumping on the hotel beds,” Diane said. I was glad she had come along. The night had been easier with her to help me with Lilly. I didn’t have what it took to deal with Lilly right now. I was terrified that I’d lost Elena for good. My heart was broken, and I barely ate or slept.
“How about you guys go to the beach today?” I suggested after breakfast. Lilly’s face lit up, and she looked at Diane who nodded and smiled.
“Of course,” Diane said. “Let’s go get dressed.”
They left the dining room and headed to the room to get ready for a day at the beach. I finished my breakfast before I went up to the room to shower and prepare myself to meet Elena. I had agreed to meet her at eleven, and I wanted to look my best.
I waited for her in the lobby. I had put on jeans and a collared shirt with loafers. I’d styled my hair and put on cologne. I was more nervous than I had ever been with a woman. I wanted to see Elena’s face. The moment I saw her face everything would be okay, I knew it. Everything would work out as soon as we were together again.
Except, she didn’t come. I waited for her, watching the time tick by. Fifteen minutes. Half an hour. An hour. Every time someone walked into the hotel, I hoped it was her, and my heart sped up. Every time I was disappointed.
After two hours of waiting, I accepted the harsh truth that Elena wasn’t going to come. That despite her text message after midnight that she would meet me, she had decided against it. She’d stood me up. I was crushed by it. It was over, wasn’t it?
A part of me wanted to phone her and ask her where she was. What if something had happened on the way that had stopped her from coming? What if she’d wanted to be here, but she couldn’t make it? But I told myself not to be stupid. If she wanted to be here, she would be. She wasn’t here, and that said enough about who we were, now.
Instead of moping around at the hotel and feeling sorry for myself, I went back to the room and changed into beach clothes before heading out the beach where Diane had taken Lilly. I would join my daughter and have a good time with her, enjoying our adventure instead.
Diane and Lilly stood in the waves about knee deep, and Lilly squealed every time the water came in. When I walked over to them, she ran to me.
“Daddy!” she cried out, hugging me. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Of course, honeypot,” I said. “I’m here to have fun with you.”
“Diane and I are going to build sandcastles now,” she said. “Will you build with me?”
I nodded, laughing. It didn’t matter what I was going through, I always smiled and laughed around Lilly. She brought that side out in me.
“We never went to the beach with Elena,” Lilly said, and her name was like a shock through my system.
“You’re right,” I said. “We didn’t.”
“I wish she could have been here on our adventure,” Lilly said. “Why isn’t she here?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t want to break Lilly’s heart, too. “Elena has work to do,” I said.
“But you’re here. You’re not working.”
“That’s because I’m the boss, and I can do what I want,” I said, smiling.
Lilly nodded, accepting it as a fact and ran into the waves again. I stood next to Diane, watching my daughter play in the waves.
“Thank you for coming with us,” I said to her.
“Of course,” Diane said. “I know how it can be.”
I looked at her. She was still young and I knew she didn’t have kids. She glanced at me. “When your heart is broken, I mean,” she added.
So, it was that obvious, was it?
I sighed. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”
Diane shook her head. “I don’t believe in fate and destiny and what’s meant to be. I believe that if you want something and the other person wants it, you make it happen. If it doesn’t work, then either you didn’t want it or you need to get over whatever obstacle is in the way. Leaving things up to fate seems like a cop-out.”
I wanted to get angry with her for suggesting I was taking the easy way out, but she was right. It was about what you wanted and how hard you were willing to work for it. It was the reason I was here, after all. And it was why Elena wasn’t. Because she didn’t want this as much as I did, I thought. I wasn’t sure if that made sense. It was harsh to think so, but she had stood me up and that hurt.
When we came home from the beach and Lilly fell over for a nap after running around in the sun all morning, I couldn’t resist. I picked up my phone and dialed Elena’s number. I had to know if she’d stood me up. A little part of me still held out that something might have come up. That she hadn’t stood me up on purpose but that something had gone terribly wrong in her life, and I could forgive her for it.
She didn’t answer her phone. I rang twice, getting her voice mail both times. I wasn’t going to try more than that and make a fool of myself. So, I phoned Doug instead.
“How are things going in the office?” I asked.
“Well enough,” he said. “I’m on top of things, and we’re wrapping up the final beta version for your investor meeting Friday.”
“That’s great news. Good to hear. Thanks, Doug.”
“Sure, pal,” Doug said.
“How is Elena doing on the project?” I asked. I didn’t want to ask about her directly.
“I guess she’s doing okay. She didn’t come in today.”
“Not at all?” I asked.
“Not at all. I thought she’d taken sick leave again.”
“I’ll give her a ring and clear it up, thanks,” I said. I didn’t want Doug to go into it. So, Elena hadn’t gone to work either. Wherever she was, I had the awful feeling that nothing was wrong. That she simply didn’t want anything to do with me.
“I’m going out,” I said to Diane. “I won’t be long.”
Diane nodded and returned to her book. She would be there for Lilly when she woke up. I left the hotel and went for a walk, trying to clear my head. I had to filter through my emotions, dividing heartache from disappointment and resentment.
My phone rang, and when I looked at the screen, it was an unknown number. My heart sped up. Hopefully, this was Elena. If she told me now what had happened or that she was here, all would be forgiven. I could still get past this.
“Elena?” I asked into the phone.
“I can’t do this anymore,” a voice said, and it wasn’t Elena’s voice. Why would it be an unknown number? It was Nicole. I’d received enough calls from her to know what she sounded like.
“I asked you not to call me again,” I said.
“I called to say goodbye. This is it for me. I can’t live this life without you, so I’m putting an end to it. I wish you all the happiness in the world.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked. “Don’t do this. Get help.”
“Goodbye, Noah,” she said.
The line went dead, and I felt hollow. Was Nicole going to commit suicide? It sounded like it. And I could do nothing to stop her. I wasn’t sure if she was serious or if this was a ploy to get me involved with her again, to do something that proved I cared about her. I didn’t love her or anything, but I didn’t want her to die when it came down to it.
I did the only thing I could think of; I called the police.
“I received a call from Nicole Samson,” I said when they finally patched me through to the officer in charge of the harassment case we had filed against her. It had taken so long for anyone at the station to help me that she could well have been dead by now. “She’s threatening to commit suicide.”
“Where is she now, Mr. Fuller?” Officer White asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Could you track her number?”
“Do you have it?”
“It’s an unknown number on my phone,” I said.
“Are you telling me you don’t know if Miss Samson was the one to phone you?”
I shook my head. “I know her voice. I know it’s her.”
“Mr. Fuller, did she state her name?”
I sighed. “No, she didn’t. But I would know her voice anywhere. She’s called me enough times to know.”
“Mr. Fuller, I appreciate your certainty, but it could have been anyone. We can’t chase down someone when we have no idea who it is.”
“But she could die.”
Officer White took a deep breath. “And that’s extremely unfortunate, but without a name and a number to track, our hands are tied.”
When the conversation was over, I was frustrated. What if Nicole committed suicide and I had been the only one to know about it, the only one to do something about it, and I hadn’t? But what if this was merely a way to get to me, to get me back with her? So many things ran through my mind. I found Nicole’s number on my contact list and dialed it. I had no idea where to find her, but I had to try, at least.
She didn’t answer her phone. That seemed to be the trend of the day. There was nothing else I could do about it. I didn’t want her to die, but I couldn’t race around the state looking for her, either. And if she wasn’t going to answer, what was I to do?
So, I turned around and walked back to the hotel where Lilly was waiting for me. Where I had a life to get back to. I felt horrible about everything that was happening, about Elena leaving me, about Nicole threatening to commit suicide. But there was nothing I could do other than put one foot in front of the other and take care of the people in my life that I cared about.
I had Lilly, and I had to hold onto that. When it came down to heartbreak, I could deal with it. I had survived through it before, hadn’t I? When Cheryl had left me, it had hurt so badly I hadn’t thought I would ever be able to deal with it. But I had managed to keep moving. I had to do that again and I would be alright in the end.
Somehow, I always was.