Chapter 28
Sage held onto him as they went from the office into the living room. She couldn’t look up, couldn’t face anyone. It was him and him alone that was keeping her walking and in one piece. She trusted him. Everything else was a blur.
“Sweetheart?” her father said, standing from his chair, and the pastor stood from the couch.
Luke held up his hand to stop their questions, and then he looked down at her, huddled in his arms. “You okay?”
Slowly she nodded as the emotions swayed like a rope bridge in the wind, dangling beneath her.
“Okay. Let’s sit here.” Taking the pastor’s place as he went around to the other chair, Luke led her over to the couch.
“Do we want to do this in my office?” Pastor Steve asked.
But Luke looked up at him never faltering in his movement as he got them both onto the couch. “No. I think this is good.”
The two older men exchanged glances and acquiesced.
Breathe, Sage. Just breathe.
“There are some things I think you both need to know,” Luke said, his voice far more stable than Sage’s would ever have been.
I trust you, Luke. I trust you. Dear God, please let this be the right thing to do.
“You both know about all the issues here.” He looked from one man to the other. “And I think those have to be dealt with too. But there are some things, things I didn’t know until just now, that I think we really need your help with.”
This exchange of glances contained even more concern.
“Okay,” Pastor Steve said for both of them.
Her life was now in his hands. He could trash it, crush it, destroy it. Tears stung her eyes as she rewound through everything she had told him. She let her eyes go closed. Life after this moment would be over.
“Well,” Luke started and glanced down at her, “the whole California thing is pretty much a mess too.”
“How do you mean?” the pastor asked.
Once more Luke looked down at her, and Sage knew he was going to say no more without her permission. She had to let go and trust him. Finally, she nodded with a sigh. Right or wrong, she was going to trust him with even this.
Luke’s gaze came up and went over to her father’s. “Did you know that Sage’s mom has a drinking problem?”
Her father’s eyes jumped in surprise. “Drinking? I mean, I knew she drank some.”
“No. I’m not talking social drinking. I’m talking about passing out in the kitchen. I’m talking Sage gets there from school and can’t wake her up.”
“Sage?” The worry in her father’s eyes took hold of her. “Is that true?”
What would be the point of lying? She lifted her chin and nodded even as she lowered her eyes. What they would think of her from now on. It hurt to even think about that.
“And there’s more,” Luke said, charging through the army surrounding them. “Her stepdad, Jason. He has women over to the house. She’s walked in on them before.”
“Wh…?” the pastor said, the surprise overtaking his decorum.
They knew now. It was pointless to hide. Eyes closed, Sage sat up from Luke’s side, but his arm never left from around her.
“Mom goes on trips,” she said, slowly with broken edges surrounding the words. “She’s gone a lot. When she goes, Jason has… Well, he has girlfriends come over. I don’t know them. I’ve never really met them.”
“While you’re there?” her father asked, shifting in his chair in concern.
Sage shrugged. “He thought I wasn’t.” She glanced at Luke. “But I’ve driven by, after he thought I was gone. There’s always a car. A different car.”
Stricken, her father looked to the pastor, and he shook his head. A second and his gaze traced back over to hers. “Sage, I never knew…”
“No,” she cut him off. “I know. You didn’t. Nobody did. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
“Don’t tell,” the pastor said, and he looked at Luke who nodded. A pause, and the pastor sat forward on the chair. “Sage, I want you to know that there are a lot of people who live with shame just like this their whole lives. What you’ve done today, telling us, reaching out like this, it’s very, very brave.” He glanced at her father. “And I can assure you that we will do whatever we can in order to protect you. You have my word on that.”
She nodded, not at all sure she believed him, but tired of fighting.
The pastor thought through some things and then sighed. “Well, at least we know where we are now.” He looked at her father. “We might not like it much, but it’s really hard to do something about something that no one will face.” The words stopped for a moment. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to share a few things with y’all that won’t fix anything but might be a place to start.”
When he didn’t continue, her father said, “Please, Pastor. We want to hear whatever you have to say.”
“Okay, then.” Pastor Steve sat forward, no pen, no paper, not even a Bible or a therapy manual. “Well, I have been doing this minister thing for a while now, and one thing I can tell you with no reservations is that God specializes in broken people. He’s not here to judge you or to condemn you or to throw you into hell. In fact, I think He’s here to rescue you from the hell you’re already in.”
Her father laughed softly at that. “Good luck with that.”
“Believe me, I hear where you’re coming from, Gregory, but this is going to take something a lot more powerful than luck.” He sat back. “Remember that reading, the one Luke read that day.” He looked over. “That was you, right? The Corinthians one about love?”
Luke nodded.
“Yeah, I thought so. You know the one that goes, ‘Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs’?” He said the words as if he was reading them though he had nothing in his hands. “I think it’s important to understand that God doesn’t rely on luck. He relies on what He is… love. God’s love is amazing, incredible, all-powerful. It has the power to heal and to forgive and to mend those places in us that we thought no one would ever want to even see much less work with.
“The world says, ‘Don’t tell.’ God says, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’ The world says, what we see is what is real. God says, ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’ The world says this situation is hopeless. God says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Those aren’t random promises. Those are promises from the God who is love, the God Who wants to heal us with His love because He wants us to live not just survive. He wants us to be so forgiven so that we go out and sing from the rooftops about what He’s done for us, no longer chained to the ground by our sin or by the sins of others around us.”
“Those are all nice words, Reverend,” her father said. “But how do we do that?”
The pastor nodded and smiled. “Well, why don’t you ask Luke that question?”
“Me?” Luke sat up in panic. “Why would you ask me?”
When Pastor Steve’s gaze came to him, it showed up with a smile. “Because that’s exactly what you’ve been doing, isn’t it?” He nodded at Sage, still ensconced in Luke’s arms. “You’ve been loving Sage.”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“So many people today, young and old, get love mixed up. Maybe it’s the movies they watch or the books they read. I don’t know. But they think of love as something they’re supposed to feel—like rainbows and bunny rabbits and clouds all mixed together. They think it’s what puts a man and a woman in bed together because it feels good. But that’s not love at all. That’s lust if anything. Wanting another person for your own pleasure, using them to satisfy your own flesh. But that’s not love, is it, Luke?”
He tightened his grip on her. “No.”
“Then what is it?”
As Luke looked down at her, he knew it was so, so much more than that. “It’s wanting what’s best for them and doing whatever you have to to make that happen. It’s working through all the bad stuff, even if it’s not fun, even if they want to scratch your eyes out for even going there.” His smile brought a small one of hers out as he gazed at her, diving into a love he had never known possible. “It’s knowing everything about them and wanting only to fix the bad stuff and hurt because there’s so much good stuff there if they could only see themselves like you do.”
The pastor nodded. “Right. And that’s the kind of love God wants to give to all of us. It’s the kind of love that can fix things and heal people. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t sit back and hope that things change, but it gets in there and it works for that change—as hard and as uncomfortable as that is sometimes. It’s walking with someone through their tragedies and through their struggles and pain, sometimes not even so you can fix them, but sometimes just because you can’t imagine leaving them alone to have to deal with something like that.”
And then like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, Sage sat forward, sniffed, and lifted her gaze. “Can I say something?”
Deep gentleness touched the pastor’s eyes and Luke’s heart. “Sure, Sage. Please.”
She let out a breath and thought through the words. “When I came here, I had this image of myself, and I thought it was perfect. I thought I was so much better than everyone else because I was from California, and I had money and nice clothes. But the longer I was here and the more I was with Luke.” She reached over and put her hand on his knee as she half-laughed. “The more I started to see that that image was just that an image—like a mirage, or like looking into a mirror at a reflection that wasn’t even real. And that scared me to death because I started realizing I didn’t want anyone to know what was real.
“Because real meant the truth, and I didn’t want anyone to know the truth about me, about my life, about anything.” Her gaze went over to her father’s. “Yesterday, in your office, I didn’t want you to know the truth. I didn’t want anyone to know the truth about me, about how things are in my life, but I’m starting to see the lie that really is. When I got up this morning and put this on …” She floated her hand down over herself. “It was about going back there, into the lies, into the image so you wouldn’t…”
“See what was real,” her father finished for her, and she nodded.
“The truth is I’m not proud of what I am. I’m not,” she said slowly. “I know what people say about me. I know what you all thought about me. But I also know that’s not real.” The breath raised and released her shoulders. “What’s real is I just want everyone to love me. I want them to think I’m a good person who is worth something more than taking out on Friday night or showing off to their buddies. I want to wear jeans with rips in them if I want and go to the thrift store just because it’s fun, and I want to go hiking and fishing. Okay, maybe not fishing, but I want to go out with the family and do things together. I want to sit on the blanket at the fireworks with y’all and watch Ryder chase the girls. I want…” Her words slowed as the tears came. “I want to be a part of a real family. I want my picture up on the mantel and to be in the one above it.” The tears twined through her words. “And I want you to yell at Luke about he’d better bring me home safely or you’ll eat him alive.”
“Ha. Ha.” Luke’s fingers brushed her back. “Okay. Let’s not get carried away there.”
But she just looked back at him, feeling the chains fall from her spirit. “I want it all. I’m tired of living in the mirror and trying to convince myself that’s all I deserve. I know I’m messed up. I get that. But I don’t want to be anymore.”
“You’re broken,” the pastor said softly, and her gaze went over to him. “We all are. We all have chips and dings and imperfections. But God doesn’t see us for those things. He sees those things as what makes us priceless. You know, you mentioned the discount store.”
Sage nodded.
“I love to go antiquing. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. My wife would tell you it’s one of my vices.” He smiled at that. “There are a lot of people who look for stuff in the antique shops, stuff that’s in pristine condition, things they think the world will want to buy from them—things that are worth something.” The pastor stood from his seat and walked over to the small shelf on the side. He lifted something off and brought it over. “When I go antiquing, and I don’t go very often because I can’t afford all the stuff I seem to want to bring home, I get things like this.”
He handed the item to Sage.
“It’s a tea cup,” she said in surprise and confusion.
He smiled at that and nodded down to it. “What else?”
As she examined it, her finger brushed rough spots on the bottom and the side. She turned it and found two small chips where someone had obviously dropped it. “It’s chipped.”
“Yes. It is. Okay, so here’s the question I ask myself every time I see that chipped tea cup sitting up there.” He looked right at her. “Why did whoever owned it not just throw it away? It wasn’t part of a set. It was just one, lone, chipped tea cup.”
She gulped, wanting to give him the right answer but not fully understanding the point he was getting at. “Because they thought they could get something for it?”
The pastor shrugged, nodded, and retrieved it from her. “Maybe.” He went back over and placed it just so on the shelf. “Or maybe, they couldn’t bear to throw it away. Maybe they loved it so much, they thought, ‘Someone else might still see the value we see in it.’ You see, I think God is like those owners. I think He refuses to throw us away, no matter how many chips, and how many cracks, and how many damages we get in this life. I think He’s determined to hold onto us because we are valuable to Him. He doesn’t throw us away because of the chips, and what He wants most of all is for us to start seeing each other with the love He sees us with. He wants us to value ourselves the way He values us—chips and all. So I keep that up there to remind me. People are cracked. They are messy, and often to the world, they really aren’t worth much of anything. But to God…” He pointed and looked up. “God doesn’t give up on us. He loves us with a love that is patient enough to walk with us through the things that have chipped us; He is kind enough to lovingly keep us and hold us even when the world says we’re not worth it.”
“Even when we’ve done really stupid things that have hurt a lot of people?” her father asked, and Sage realized he was hearing these words on the same level she was.
“The chips and cracks happen in a lot of ways,” the pastor said. “Sometimes they are our own doing; sometimes they are what others have done to us. How they got there doesn’t matter as much as knowing that God loves all of us in spite of, or maybe even because of those chips. He doesn’t turn His face from the chips and the cracks. He knows those things have taught us more than perfection ever could.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand,” her father said.
The pastor came and sat back on the chair. “Gregory, do you know the story of King David?”
“Uh, yeah… David and Goliath, Saul, the guy who wrote the psalms.”
“Right.” The pastor nodded and glanced at the two on the couch. “And he’s also the one who slept with Bathsheba.”
That sent her father back into the chair. “Bathsheba. The guy’s wife.”
“Yes, Uriah’s wife, the one David then sent to the front lines so he would be killed. Why?”
Her father’s glance was hesitant. “Because she was pregnant with David’s child.”
“Yes.” The pastor nodded and folded his hands in front of him. “First, David ordered Uriah to come home, thinking nature would take its course and no one would ever know what he had done. But Uriah was following orders, and he refused to sleep with her. So when David ordered him back to the front lines, Uriah was killed, and David’s sin was exposed.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“Oh, yeah, the Bible’s really good at that. See we think of the Bible as a book of exceptions. That these people were paragons of virtue and holiness. The truth is the Bible is filled with people just like us—struggling, mistake-prone sinners who get it wrong a whole lot more than we ever get it right. Moses killed someone. Peter had major anger issues. Jonah denied God’s calling and fled to get away from Him. Judas betrayed Jesus. Job lost everything. Rebekah lied. And David, the one God had hand-chosen to lead His people, sinned with a woman who was not his wife.
“But see, here’s where the story gets interesting because in our view we know what should come next. We think that God would smite David down, send him out of the palace to go live with the sheep again, but when we read it, we find out He didn’t do that at all. In fact, God actually did something quite surprising.”
Sage’s whole spirit said, What?
“If we follow the genealogy, we learn that Solomon, the one who took over the throne from his father David was a child of…”
It couldn’t be!
The pastor nodded as recognition traced across the faces there. “Solomon, the great and wise king was the son of David and Bathsheba. They had gotten married, and they had Solomon. And it gets even better. The lineage of Jesus traces back to David through the linage of King Solomon. So that means, God took what David had done, and in His abundant forgiveness and love, brought ultimate good, Jesus Christ, into the world. Now, that says to me that God’s love can undo and redo and fix and right and heal things that to us bring us nothing but shame and reproach and disgrace. His grace can cover and does cover our disgrace. And then, we are allowed and freed to tell the world what He’s done in our lives—how He set us free so that others can see what He’s done and maybe inspire them to take a step to bringing into the light their own chips and cracks and failures.”
Luke wasn’t sure what anyone else felt, but his whole being relaxed as if the storm was finally passing. “So I guess that’s the answer then. Give it to God and let Him love us through this.”
Pastor Steve nodded. “And we do our best to keep loving each other like that chipped teacup.”
Well, that part would be easy.
Leaving the pastor’s house, Sage kept her arm around Luke’s waist in case he had any thought of getting away. They needed to talk, and she didn’t want to do it with witnesses.
“Can Luke bring me home?” she asked her father who stopped by his car door.
A second and a small smile, and he put out his hand, which Luke took to shake. “Drive safely, you hear me? No hot-rodding or drag-racing. Have her home at a reasonable hour, and don’t even think about doing anything you wouldn’t want me and God to see you do.”
Sage wound her lips under her teeth and bit them hard to keep from laughing as she looked up at Luke who looked like he’d been punched.
“Uh, yes, Sir. No problem, Sir. We’ll go right home. I promise.”
Her father nodded and gripped Luke’s hand. “Just want to make sure we’re clear on that.”
Luke nodded as well. “Yes, Sir. Fully and one-hundred percent clear.”
“Good.” Then he leaned over to Sage and gave her a kiss on the forehead. When he backed up, he leveled his gaze on her. “You have my number?”
“Your…? Oh. Uh. N-no. I don’t think I do.”
He nodded seriously and stood there, waiting, hands on hips. “Well, do you want it…?”
“Oh! Y-yeah.” She dug into her small bag and pulled her cell phone free. “Daaaad.” She typed it in slowly. “K.”
In quick succession, he gave her his numbers—house phone, cell phone, work phone, direct line and office line.
“Got it.”
“Good.” His glance went over to and up Luke, who looked like he really was about to get eaten. “Call me if you need anything.”
Sage nodded. “I will.”
When they were safely in the car, Luke looked over at her with wide eyes. “Okay, just for the record, he scares me.”
Funny how safe that made her feel. She reached over and twined her fingers through his. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
He quirked his mouth in a smile. “Not half as much as I love you, darlin’. Now what do you say we go and make everyone some supper? After that marathon, I think we could all use some TLC.”
The humor left her, but what remained wasn’t sadness or fear, just a wondering about the unknown now stretched before them. “I sure wish Jaycee and Em could’ve been there today.”
Surprise jumped over to her. “Why’s that?”
“I just see it, you know? I see how hurt they are. I don’t want them to feel like that, like everyone is watching and judging and condemning them because of me.”
“It’s not…”
“No, Luke. It’s okay. I’m not carrying that anymore, but I know they are. And it’s weird because I don’t want this even for me. I don’t want them to be healed or whatever because then maybe they’ll let me into their family. I want them to be free, to feel like God really is on their side and something good really can come out of all of this.”
He glanced over at her. “You believe that now, don’t you?”
She dragged in a breath. “It’s still a mess, don’t get me wrong, and I know my mom is going to go completely ballistic if she ever finds out about today. But yeah, I really believe that God has something in mind. I mean, He has to be on my side, right? He gave me you. What more proof do I need?”
Two bags of groceries in one hand and her hand in the other, and Luke made his way up to their back door. Inside, to announce their arrival, he called, “Knock. Knock.”
The house beyond was quiet. Very quiet. Too quiet.
“Wasn’t Jaycee’s car out there?”
“Yeah,” Sage said, sensing the same thing he was.
Luke put the groceries on the cabinet with a thunk, let go of her hand and headed into the living room. “Jayc? Ryder? Hey! Is anybody here?” A second to listen and he turned back for her. “Nobody’s here.”
“Where are they?”
“I don’t know. Let’s go check out back.”
“I’m right behind you.”
Together, they raced into the yard, Sage heedless of the fact that she was still in her perfection clothes and heels.
“Jaycee!” she called.
“Jayc!” Luke yelled in front of her. “Ryder!” He twisted around. “Her car’s still here.”
The heels hardly slowed her down as she went to the car, opened the driver’s side and came back out. “The keys are here.”
“Jayc!” Luke spun heading back to the house.
“Dad.” Sage ran for the house. “I’m gonna call Dad.”
Luke didn’t look exactly thrilled about the decision, but he didn’t protest either. “Jaycee! Ryder!”
Sage skidded to a stop where she’d left her purse on the cabinet. In one swipe she had the bag in hand, in two more, she had the phone on and it was dialing. “Come on. Come on. Come on.”
“This is Greg.”
“Greg. Dad. Hi. This is Sage.”
“Sage? What’s wrong?”
“Uh.” How do you tell your father that his two children are AWOL? “We just got home, and…”
“I found Ryder!”
The backdoor banged, causing her to jump so hard she nearly dropped the phone. With no pretense, Luke came in, carrying Ryder, and relief poured through Sage.
“How is he? Where was he? Where’s Jaycee?”
“Sage! What is going on?” her father demanded.
“I… I don’t know. We just got home, and…” Her attention whipsawed between the conversation at her ear and the very quiet one going on two feet from her. “We couldn’t find Ryder or Jaycee. But Ryder’s here. He’s fine.” At least she hoped he was fine. He didn’t look exactly fine, arms and legs all draped over Luke and his head down over Luke’s shoulder like that.
“Where’s Jaycee?”
“I don’t… I’m not sure.”
“They did?” Luke was asking Ryder. “Are you sure? How long ago? She left?”
“Left?” Sage asked. “Left where?”
“Sage, what is going on?”
“Hang on, Dad, we’re trying to figure it out.” Her gaze went to Luke who stepped back, looking like someone had hit him with a stun gun. “Luke…?”
His eyes locked with hers. “She’s with Rory.”
Okay, whatever Sage thought he was going to say, that was not it. “Rory? Are you sure?”
“Rory? What about Rory?” her father asked in her ear.
Turning so he shielded Ryder from the conversation, Luke put his hand on his beltline. “He said a red pickup came, and Jaycee got in it and left.”
Horror pounced on Sage. “She left him here alone?” Then she remembered the other conversation. Wow. She did not want to deliver this news. “Um, Dad, it looks like Jaycee went somewhere with Rory Harris.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know exactly, but Ryder’s here, and he said she got in a red pickup. We’re guessing it was Rory’s.”
“Let me talk to Luke.”
“Here he is.” She handed the phone to Luke who couldn’t have looked more worried or upset had he tried.
“Hello?” Luke put his hand over his head and walked off into the living room.
It was then that Sage’s attention went to the child, sitting on the counter with his head down. She had no idea how to do this or even what to do, but she had to do something. Lord, show me how. Stepping over to him, she reached up and flipped at his hair. “Hey, buddy. You had us worried there for a minute.”
His eyes came up, big pools of brown sadness. “Is Jaycee in trouble?”
Sage couldn’t help the soft laugh or the smile. “Just like my little brother to be worried about his big sisters.” With that, she lifted him not really making that work so that he more scooted off the cabinet to the floor. “Wow, bro. What are you made of, bricks? I’m gonna have to go work out if you keep growing like that.”
Together they went to the table, and Sage sat there, knowing her lame jokes weren’t going to change the subject.
“Jaycee said I could make a sandwich if I was hungry.”
How many pieces of Sage wanted to use that information against her sister, but she just put a tight smile on her face and looked at him. “I’m not great at anything more challenging than peanut butter and jelly. How does that sound?”
The sadness wafted out of his eyes, replaced by a small light of hope. “Can we do honey?”
Sage tipped her head. “Jelly and honey? That sounds…”
But Ryder laughed. “Not jelly and honey. Peanut butter and honey.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Eek! That sounds positively…” Squelching that, she tried to get the revulsion down in her to stay there. “Hm. Is that any good?”
“It’s awesome.”
“Okay, well, then peanut butter and honey it is.” Getting up, she went over to the refrigerator to search for the ingredients. “Peanut butter? Peanut butter?”
“It’s in the door.”
“Oh, well, so it is.” She retrieved it and turned. “And the honey?”
“In the cabinet.” He pointed to it, just watching her.
“Cabinet and… honey. Boy, you’re good at this. Are you sure I’m supposed to make this for you? Maybe you should be making one for me.”
At that Ryder stood and came over to the counter. They were busily crafting the best peanut butter and honey sandwich ever when Luke strode back in. Not wanting to alarm Ryder who seemed to be returning to normal, Sage caught Luke’s gaze. He looked down at her brother and nodded that he knew.
“I’m just going to…” Luke pointed to the door.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes searched his, and she felt his worry.
He laid her phone on the counter. “I’ll be back.”
“K. I’ll be praying.”
Luke went out to his car and grabbed up his own phone off the console. They’d mapped out a plan to find her. The first task of which he was not looking forward to, but he did it anyway. “Jayc,” he said under his breath, “you knew everybody was going to freak out, didn’t you? Well, that worked.” He picked the phone up to his ear, wondering if her dad had already gotten through.
“This is Jaycee, please leave a mes…”
He clicked off. Voicemail. Of course.
“Plan B.” His fingers flew over the keys all the way to SEND. “This isn’t a game, Jayc, answer your phone.”
One heartbeat. Three.
“Fine. If you wanna play that way…” He dialed the anger down as he punched in the last number on his short list. It wasn’t a great option, and it certainly wasn’t one he wanted to take, but… “Hello, Mrs. Harris? This is Luke Baker.”
“So where were you?” Sage asked Ryder as he sat devouring the sandwich and milk. “What’d you do when Jaycee left?”
He munched three times, formulating his answer. “At first I was in here, but then it got kind of weird. So I went out in my treehouse.”
“The treehouse, huh? I’ve never been in your treehouse.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re a girl.” He wrinkled up his nose. “No girls.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, girls can be fun too, ya know?”
“No. Girls are all into their hair and their clothes and stuff.”
Sage couldn’t argue, but she was intrigued. Coming over to the table, she sat and watched him. “What else you know about girls?”
“Lots of stuff.”
“Name one.”
“They stink up the bathroom with all the junk they spray so if you don’t use it first, it’s like…” He stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes back as if he was dying a horrible death.
“Oh, yeah? What else?”
“They never wanna do anything fun like hiking and fishing and baseball.”
She picked her chin up off her hand. “Hey, I like baseball.”
He twisted his mouth. “No, you don’t. You just pretend ‘cause everybody else does.”
“Well, maybe I can learn.”
“No, you’re a girl. Besides, you’d look weird in a baseball cap.”
Strange how she took that as a personal challenge.
The APB worked. Subject found. Major crisis averted.
Father was on his way to pick up his wayward daughter, and Luke was pretty sure at that point, Armageddon would be upon them. He figured he’d better go and warn Sage, but when he went into the back door, he heard the quiet conversation.
“So if I get a baseball hat….”
“Cap.”
“If I get a baseball cap and a bat thingy.”
“Bat. It’s called a bat. Just a bat. Not a bat thingy.”
Luke stifled the laugh as he stood just outside of line of sight and listened.
“I’m guessing you’ve got a ball,” Sage said.
“Of course. Duh.” And Luke could almost hear Ryder’s eyes rolling. “And a glove.”
“Oh, okay. So we’ve got the whole thing then. The bat, the ball, a glove. So you can throw it to me.”
“Pitch.”
“Pitch it to me, and I can hit it.”
“Someone’s going to have to show you. I already know, you’re gonna swing like a girl.”
Crazy how much Luke wanted to be the one to show her. He couldn’t justify listening in without making his presence known, so he stepped in and Ryder looked over at him.
“Tell Sage this is never gonna work.”
“What’s never gonna work?” Luke asked, coming over to the table.
“Her and baseball. She doesn’t even have a cap!”
Sage turned and some of the perfection of the outfit had rubbed off. He loved that.
Luke looked down at her, and he loved the vision. “Well, I have a cap. She can borrow mine.”
Going over to her, Luke stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She put her hands up on his.
“Oh, no!” Ryder squealed, waving his hands. “No mushy stuff in the kitchen!”
Pointing at his sandwich, Sage stood and turned. “Eat.” Then she laced her fingers in Luke’s and they went over to the sink. “Did you find her?”
“She was at Rory’s.”
Concern slid into her eyes. “Doing what?”
He lifted his eyebrows but didn’t fill in any of the details.
“Good point,” she said. “Did you tell Dad?”
“He’s on his way over there. They should be home pretty soon.”
“That should be fun.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Tipping her head over to the grocery sacks, she shrugged. “You start supper. I’m going to go find something that I can play baseball in.”
When he angled questioning eyes on her, she smiled ruefully. “Hey, it’s better than fishing.”
Sage had three suitcases open and was rummaging through a fourth when she heard the first slam of the door.
“Jayc,” she heard Luke say and then the second slam just down the hall.
“Dear Lord,” Sage prayed, holding the only shirt that wasn’t silk, satin, or appropriate for a night out at the ballet, “I know Jaycee’s hurting, and I know You know too. Please, please, show us what to do because she doesn’t deserve to be in this much pain.”
“Yeah,” Mr. Lawrence said as he and Luke had a very quiet conversation in the kitchen over the potatoes Luke was cutting up. “I guess I underestimated that.”
Luke nodded and glanced behind him, knowing either or both could walk in any second. “Jayc has been freaked out about this whole thing since she found out.” He sliced one potato in half and went to quartering it. “I knew we were headed for trouble, but I never expected this.”
“She’s always been the level-headed one. I could’ve rented out the Space Shuttle to her, and she’d have brought it back with a full tank of gas and the computer systems updated.”
“I hear you there. It’s just something about Sage that makes her lose her ever-lovin’ mind. I couldn’t believe the stuff she’s said to her. I mean, mean stuff, cruel stuff, stuff I’m still having a hard time believing Jaycee would even say to anybody.”
That piqued her father’s interest. “Like?”
Another glance and Luke gave up the secrets. “Like that Sage was a mistake that never should have happened.”
Her father shook his head. “She said that?”
“Had Sage in tears for most of an afternoon, and I’m not sure she’s still gotten past it.” Luke knew they both loved both girls. He also knew they were going to have to get on the same page with this thing if they had any hope of untangling it. “I think Sage pretty much tried to stay out of Jayc’s way to begin with. But then that kind of got to be impossible.” He sliced, thought, and sliced again. “Crazy thing is I can’t even really blame Jaycee. This whole thing kind of freaked me out too.”
The older man didn’t say anything.
“Mind if I ask you a question?” Luke asked as if he might shatter the whole situation even further. “And you can say no if you want.”
What secrets were left to keep? “Sure.”
Luke nodded. “Okay, I get that you and Mrs. Lawrence were fightin’ about the whole job thing, and I get why you went out there. What I can’t really figure out is if you actually loved Sage’s mom or if that was just a rebound thing, like a one-night-stand kind of a deal. But then that don’t make any sense either because how would she have known how to contact you?”
“You’re asking if I loved her.”
A second and he looked right at him. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m asking.”
Her father nodded slowly. “There are a lot of things about that time that I’m fuzzy about, but Ericka was truly something else. She worked in the office where I was, and she had this personality like she was creative and fun-loving, and she just loved life so much.” He shrugged. “So yeah, I think I thought I was in love with her. You know, like the kind the pastor was talking about today where a guy falls for a girl, and he really doesn’t think past getting her to like him.”
The slicing slowed. “But you left her?”
“We’d only been together a few times, and then Em called, and she wanted to work things out.” He put his hand on his head. “The crazy thing is, I’m not even sure I thought much about Ericka’s feelings over the situation. I mean, I was so wound up in my own stuff…” His words stopped, and he glanced back to the hallway which Luke did as well. There was no one there.
“What?” Luke finally asked in confusion.
“It’s just like now. I’ve been so wound up in my own stuff, I never really thought about them.” He shrugged. “I knew, for me, this was going to be hard. I never thought about what it was going to be like for Jaycee. Em, yes. But not Jaycee. Wow. That sounds bad.”
“I’m realizing we all do stupid things when we’re hurting.” Luke put the potatoes in the oven and set it. “I’ll be honest with you, Jayc has been my best friend for… forever. This isn’t her. This isn’t the Jaycee I knew. I got mad about that to begin with, but I’m beginning to think it’s not my anger and judgment she needs. She’s not that different than Sage. She’s hurt, and she’s angry, and maybe she needs some love like the preacher said.”
At that moment Luke felt Sage enter the room, and his gaze snapped that direction. Jeans, a buttoned-down shirt that looked like something most girls around here would and could wear to church and feel dressed-up. But the hair was down, the make-up gone. She put her hands in the air as if for inspection. “All done.”
“Woo-wee,” Luke said, whistling softly. “Them’s the nicest baseball clothes I’ve ever seen.”
“Baseball?” her dad asked.
“Yes.” Sage’s hands fell to her sides. “Apparently I have been challenged because Ryder thinks I hit like a girl.”
“You and baseball?” her father asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Yes. Me and baseball. I know all about the bats and balls and gloves.” She ticked them off her fingers. “And Luke here’s going to teach me to hit.”
Her father looked imminently amused. “This I’ve got to see.”
As it turned out her father had a baseball cap, and as it turned out, minus Jaycee, they all went into the small yard along the side of the house where there were no trees after supper.
Sage resettled the cap on her head. With her hair in a ponytail out the back of it, she had to say she was rocking this outfit.
“Okay, Sage,” her father said as he held the little ball up for her to see.
“Swing batter-batter-batter. Swing,” Ryder called behind him, putting his fist into his glove.
“No crazy stuff,” her father said. “Just slow and easy.” He tossed it her direction, and Sage cringed, lowering the bat and backing away from the ball.
“Ugh. I told you,” Ryder said. “That was worse than a girl!”
“It’s okay.” Luke retrieved the ball and threw it back to her father. “Here.” He came up behind her, and she glanced back at him.
“Hey, watch it,” she said, squirming.
“Well, I’m watching something, darlin’, but it ain’t gonna work like that. Here.” He picked up the bat and laid it onto her shoulder before putting his arms around her and his hands on hers.
Seriously. Who could think about baseball like this?
“Now, keep your eye on the ball,” Luke said right in her ear, and the butterflies in her stomach took off in a flurry. “Swing it like this.”
Together, they took a couple of practice swings.
“Don’t be afraid of it,” Luke said. “Your dad pitched my little league for years. He’s not going to hurt you.”
Well, that was comforting. She hadn’t even thought about him throwing it at her.
“Hello, people!” Ryder called. “We don’t have all day here!”
“Ready, Sage?” her father asked, holding up the ball.
She wasn’t even sure anymore, but she wasn’t going to say no. “Yeah. Throw it. Pitch it. Toss it. Whatever.”
He smiled at her as he tossed the ball to her. Together, they reached out for it, and connected with the ball.
Ryder went into hysterics in the mock-outfield. “Get it! Get it! Throw it! Tag her! Throw it!”
Luke looked at her and smiled. “Run.”
And she did even though there was no base to run to. The other two were having a very good time chasing her with the ball as she darted this way and that on the grass.
However, Ryder pulled his glove off and threw it to the ground. “What is this? Tag? I thought we were playing baseball here, people!”
“Maybe it’s tag ball,” Luke said, and with that, they were off, chasing each other all over the yard.
From the kitchen window, Jaycee watched them, having never felt so alone. It was like watching her worst nightmare come true. Sage had won. She had finally and totally taken Jaycee’s place.