Chapter 38
When the service blessedly ended, Luke stood at the back handing out bulletins. He felt like he’d survived a tornado rain-wrapped in a hurricane, and it was completely unclear to him if the experience had changed anything at all. As he watched Mrs. Lawrence and Jaycee coming toward him, he thought his blood pressure might peg out. How could he face them? What would he say? Should he say anything? Oh, God, please do this because I can’t.
“Good morning, Luke,” Mrs. Lawrence said with a smile.
“Morning.” He nodded. “Bulletin?”
“Sure. How’s your mom?”
“Oh.” Surprise pounced on him. “She’s good. I’m sure she’s down there.” He bobbed his head toward the lobby.
“Great. I’m going to have to catch up with her. We haven’t talked in a while.”
“I’m sure she would love that.”
And then she stepped past him, and Luke barely recovered from that before finding himself face to face with Jaycee.
She smiled, but hers was much more timid and contrite. “Are you going to your grandma’s afterward?”
“Uh. Yeah.” He handed a bulletin past her to Mr. Parnell.
A nod and her gaze fell from his. “Well, have fun.”
“O… kay. You too.” His gaze followed her past him and out the door even as he continued to hand out bulletins. One part of him said that should have been harder; one part said she should have said more and been more apologetic. Another part said that was just beyond weird. And all the parts agreed, this was the very definition of surreal.
It was clear as the crowd dwindled that Mrs. Mitchell and Sage had gone down one of the side aisles and out because he never actually saw them exit. However, as he stacked the remaining bulletins together, he glanced out into the lobby and there they were, right by the fireplace, greeting people and smiling as if they were meant to be nowhere else.
“Uh, Luke,” Trent said from the other side. “Can you go get the pastor?”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t… well, look at this.”
Mrs. P had just wrapped Sage in a hug only she could give when Luke stepped up to them.
He and Pastor Steve ducked into a quiet conversation and then walked off, and Sage’s gaze went with them. That was odd. But she shook that off and smiled at the next person.
“Good morning.”
“No,” Trent said. “I don’t understand it either. We just picked up the collection. But see, they all say something like this. Refrigerator fund. Or For the refrigerator.”
“How many of them are there?” Pastor Steve asked, and for some unknown reason it looked as if he had no intention of touching them.
“I have no idea.” Trent ran his hand through the collection. “Fifty?”
Pastor Steve exhaled and nodded. “I think I’m going to go catch Mac. He’s on the finance council.”
“Okay.”
When the pastor left, Luke looked at Trent who scratched his thin beard.
“You know.” Trent reached in and picked up a check. “Some of these checks say the same thing on the bottom. There might be more than fifty.”
Hands on his beltline, Luke looked from the basket out to the lobby. She might not know it yet, but it was very likely that Sage was not going to have to make any more cookies.
Standing there in the lobby with Jane, Sage knew she was safe if she just stayed where she was, but when she saw her father glance at her from across the room, she couldn’t lie and tell herself she could just ignore him. Especially when the glance became a look which became an apologetic gaze.
Go, God whispered in the depths of her spirit, and she knew it was Him because she’d learned very well over the past couple of days what His voice sounded like, and for some unknown reason, it always asked the impossible of her.
“Okay, God,” she whispered because she was quaking in her cute white boots, “if we’re going to do this, then I’m going to need all the help I can get here. You know that, right?”
Go.
With a breath and lift of her chin, she started across the lobby; however, before she got halfway to her father, Mrs. Thompson stepped up to stop her.
“Miss Sage,” she said, sounding like Ms. P who was the only other person who called her that. Mrs. Thompson put her hand on Sage’s arm, which left no question of her intentions to talk with her. “Listen, I know, this is a little out of the ordinary, but well, Luke told me what the two of you were up to last night with the cookies and everything.”
That’s when Sage let go of her mission long enough to realize Mrs. Thompson was holding out a small piece of paper.
“Well, the truth is, I just think the world of Luke, and I know how much good he does for this community. But I also know he won’t take help from nobody.” She pressed the paper into Sage’s hand. “He said he was buying all of them groceries for your cookie sale ‘cause of that busted refrigerator, and well, I just don’t think the two of you should have to pay for all those groceries on your own. So here’s a little something…”
“Oh, Mrs. Thompson,” Sage started as she took a step backward.
“No, Dear, now don’t go telling me you can’t accept it. If nothing else, do something nice for Luke and we’ll call it our little secret. Okay?”
How could Sage say no to that? Do something nice for Luke. The request touched her heart. “Okay. I will.”
Mrs. Thompson squeezed her arm and ducked her head even further. “Be good to him, you hear me? He’s one of a kind.”
Sage nodded. “That he is.”
“I don’t know,” Pastor Steve said.
“There’s checks too,” Trent said, and he held one up. “See? Refrigerator donation.”
“Well, I’ll be,” Mac said. He considered and scratched his nose. “Well, we meet tomorrow night to count. Will that be soon enough, Pastor?”
With everything in him, Luke wanted to scream No. But he held his tongue. This was not his call.
“Uh, sure, Mac.” Pastor Steve nodded. “Tomorrow will be fine. We’ll put this all in the safe just like always and see what we’ve got.”
“Oh,” Luke said as if he’d just been jumpstarted. “I forgot. Sage and I had a cookie sale last night. We’ve got another hundred and twenty-three and some change to add to this.”
“Wow.” Mac shook his head. “Well, Pastor, maybe your miracle showed up after all.”
The pastor smiled. “Looks like it might have.”
And with that, they busted up and went back to life.
When Mrs. Thompson let her go, Sage looked up and the challenge had become far more fearsome than when she had last beheld it. There stood not only her father and her stepmother but now Luke’s parents as well.
“Oh, Lord,” she said maybe louder than she even realized, “I don’t think so. You can’t be serious.”
The split second before she turned to beat it away from them, none other than Mrs. Baker called out to her. “Oh, there she is. Sage! Sage!”
This was not going to be good. She let out a long, slow breath because if she didn’t, she would have totally run the other direction. When she got her gaze up, she forced a smile to her face. Wow. She might pass out if her lungs didn’t start cooperating. With a hard push, she got her feet moving in that direction, and only God and her willpower kept her moving.
Once there, she stepped into the full-on sunshine from the windows beyond.
“Sage,” her stepmother said, and there was so much fake there, she was surprised the others seemed unfazed by it. “Felicia tells me you redecorated some of the rooms at their house.”
“Oh. That.” Sage ducked in embarrassment. “It was mostly Luke.”
“Oh, come on now,” Felicia said, and she turned to Emily. “You should see the swirls Sage painted on the wall, and the bench they made. It’s amazing.”
“Amazing? Really?” Her stepmother sounded both confused and uncertain she had heard that correctly.
“It doesn’t surprise me,” her father said, putting his hand on her shoulder. He smiled at her, and Sage wanted to ask but she knew better.
“You should see it,” Felicia continued. “It’s so much better than the pink.” She leaned over to Emily. “Don’t tell John, but I’m thinking about letting them see what they can do with our bedroom next.”
John’s eyebrows shot for the ceiling. “What if I like our bedroom the way it is?”
She grinned at him. “Maybe you’ll like the new one even better.”
When Luke came out of the church, still trying to get his mind wrapped around all those envelopes and if he should say anything to her about them, it took him more than one glance to even locate her in the lobby. No one was by the fireplace. Mrs. Mitchell was over by the double doors speaking with a young couple with a baby. That was odd. Where was…?
And then just as he stepped down the first stair, he saw her and he very nearly forgot all about the rest of the stairs. She was talking to his parents… and hers!
It took a shake to get himself moving reliably again, and when he did, it was not without trepidation that he went over to see what was going on.
“The bench is just so perfect,” his mother was saying, and Luke looked at Sage and asked the question with his eyes.
Wide-eyed, she answered it and lifted her shoulders without moving them.
“There’s the superstar builder now.” His father put out his hand and shook it, which was odd. Then Mr. Lawrence did the same, which was even stranger.
Luke fought not to look behind him and above him. Surely there was a rabbit hole he had somehow fallen down.
“They did end tables for the Mitchells,” Mr. Lawrence said. “You should see them. Very fine work.”
“Well, where have you been hiding him?” Mrs. Lawrence asked. “Do you do drawers? I have a couple of drawers in my kitchen that just… ugh… will not cooperate.”
Surreal. Why did that word keep following him around this morning?
“Sage!” Ryder raced up, his friends now gone, and he went right to her and stood in the protectiveness of her body as she put her hands on his shoulders. “Can you come and see my birdhouse? Please. Please. Please! Please, can she, Dad?”
One small glance at his wife and Mr. Lawrence looked at her and almost smiled. “I don’t see why not. Are you two out and about today?” The question was directed at Luke.
“Oh.” He glanced at his mom. “I think we’re going over to Grandma’s, right?”
“Lunch won’t be until one,” his mother said, a strange glow in her eyes. “I think you have time for a little stop.”
“Oh.” That freaked him out more than he wanted to admit. “Okay. Well, then let’s go see that birdhouse, Ryder-My-Man.”
“Can I go with them?” Ryder asked his father. “Please. Please. Please.”
Mr. Lawrence laughed. “This is getting to be a pattern.” Then he shrugged. “Go on. We’ll be right behind you.”
“YAY! Come on, Sage. Let’s go!”
Luke caught her eye again as Ryder grabbed her hand and they headed for the door. She asked the question without voicing it. He raised his eyebrows at her in answer. He did notice Jaycee with one of her friends standing at the fireplace, and it took next to nothing at all to see the strange, confused look on her face. He couldn’t explain, and he wasn’t going to try.
Sage made a quick stop to tell Mrs. Mitchell their plans, and then all three of them stepped out into the hot, humidity of the North Carolina August.
The sunshine. Luke. Whatever it was, Sage felt like she was flying as they headed out to the Lawrence house. Crazy as it sounded, she could almost imagine going with the family out to the lake. Sage barely held back the grin when she thought about fishing. Of course, she would stay on the rocks and scream, “Eww” at everything, but she could so easily see Luke helping Ryder, and the laughter, even in her imagination it felt incredible.
“Guess what, Sage?” Ryder said from the back.
“What’s that?”
“I’m learning to do the butterfly. The coach says I’m a natural. He’s trying to get Mom to let me try out for the junior team in the Fall.”
“No kidding,” Sage said.
“That’s awesome,” Luke said, glancing into the rearview mirror, and Sage loved that. There seemed to be such a connection between the two, and that made her heart sing just a little happier.
“Do you think you can come for one of my meets, Sage?” Ryder asked, and Luke squeezed her hand, clearly knowing the tough spot that put her into.
“I’ll have to see, but I would love to be up in those bleachers cheering you on. Go, Ryder! Swim fast! Yay!”
Ryder sat up even straighter. “It’s going to be so awesome.”
Luke glanced over at her, and Sage gave him a forced smile. The unknowns were still so murky. She had no idea where she would even be in two weeks, much less in a month or more. In that moment she hoped that she would, in fact, get to see her brother stand on a podium and raise his medal someday. Nothing would make her happier.
When they got to the house, Luke let Ryder out and went around to open her door. Getting out, Sage had to check her panic. This house seemed to do that to her without even trying.
“It’s in the backyard.” Ryder took off that direction, leaving them standing together at the car.
“I hate lying to him,” Sage said, brushing the hair from her eyes.
Luke picked his head up higher and looked down at her. “Who says it was a lie? God’s not finished with this story yet.”
That brought a sad smile to her face. He could be so positive even in the face of what she saw as complete hopelessness.
“Nooo!” The scream yanked both of their gazes that direction, and with only that, they took off.
Luke got there first, but Sage was only steps behind, and as she came up, the magnitude of the tragedy became undeniable.
Ryder sat under the tree, the small boards in a heap at his feet. Slowly he picked one up. “It’s ruined.” Devastation screamed through Ryder’s voice. “It’s wrecked!” He pitched the boards onto the ground, and Sage’s heart fell with them.
At that second Ryder turned to run for the house, but Luke arrested his flight.
“Hey. Hold up there, bud.” With a glance at her, he transferred the child’s care to Sage, and she took hold of the little shoulders.
“It’s trashed,” Ryder lamented, head down as he kicked at the grass.
“No, now hang on there,” Sage said, bending down to him. “Maybe not.”
“What do you mean? Look at it. It’s wrecked.”
But Sage knew the look on Luke’s face, so she held onto Ryder. “Just wait a second.”
Luke turned though he was sitting on his heels, spinning so his feet twisted at a weird angle. He held up two of the broken pieces. “Did you just use glue on this?”
“Yeah. We didn’t have any nails.”
Picking up three more pieces, Luke stood. “Tell you what, hand me some more of it. I think we can fix it at my shop.”
Ryder’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Eep!” Sage squealed and clapped her hands. “I told you. Come on.” She gathered up some of the little pieces of wood and stacked them on Luke’s outstretched arms and then she gave some to Ryder. When she looked at Luke, she couldn’t deny the happiness. He was amazing.
“Ah, what happened to it?” Jaycee asked, coming up from behind them, and Sage spun as if she was about to be shot.
“The wind wrecked my birdhouse, but Luke’s gonna fix it,” Ryder said.
Jaycee wound her arms at her middle. “Don’t you think you should change first?”
“Ugh. But…”
“Go change,” Luke said. “We’ll put this in the car and wait for you.”
“Don’t leave.” With that, Ryder took off.
“Ryde!” Sage called, and he laughed and came back to hand her the pieces he was holding.
“I’ll be back!” And he ran to the house.
Tension and awkwardness descended into the shade, dancing between them. Jaycee put her gaze down as her toe drifted back and forth on the ground.
Not knowing what else to do, Sage glanced over at Luke. “I guess we’d better get this in the car.”
“Yeah.” He took a step to follow Sage past Jaycee. However, two more, and Jaycee turned.
“Sage?” she said as if she thought she might be killed for it.
In surprise Sage turned back. “Did we forget something?” She looked on the ground but saw nothing.
“Uh, no.” Jaycee shook her hair back as she looked at her sister. “I wanted to say thank you for the other night.” With one finger, she wound the hair back out of her eyes. “Um, and I’m sorry… about everything.”
“Oh.” The surprise dragged Sage’s gaze from Jaycee up to Luke mostly because she needed affirmation that he had heard that too. “Um, well, you’re welcome, and yeah… I’m sorry too.”
Jaycee’s gaze came up. “I should’ve given you a chance.”
“No. I was way too stuck-up. I’m sure I had it coming.”
“No, you weren’t. I was just so jealous of you I couldn’t see straight.”
“Jealous? Why? You’ve got such a great life here. All your friends…”
“I’m so sorry. I was so mad at you, I never even thought what coming here must’ve been like for you.”
“I never thought what coming would be like for you either. I mean, ‘Hello sister you hardly remember.’” Sage’s heart softened more than it had since she’d stepped through that door the first day. “I mean, what were you supposed to do, right?”
“Well, I could’ve been a little less schizo that’s for sure.”
“Hey!” Ryder called from the side of the house. “What happened to my birdhouse? Aren’t you guys coming?”
Luke laughed even as he took in the awkward-but-getting-better reunion. “We’re right here.”
Sage tipped her head. “We’ve got to go do some emergency surgery on Ryder’s project.” Then a crazy thought attacked her. “You want to come along?”
Instantly Jaycee looked up at Luke and shrank back. “Oh. I’m sure y’all don’t want me hanging around.”
“Sure we do,” Luke said easily, and Sage smiled. “Besides, I need someone to hold the nails.”
Jaycee’s face corkscrewed into concern. “Gee, thanks.”
They let Jaycee explain to their parents where they were going as Luke and Sage put the birdhouse pieces into the car. In no time the four of them were on the road to Luke’s, and Sage suddenly wasn’t at all sure how to be around him. Could she hold his hand? Should she? What was the protocol in this situation? She had no earthly idea.
Dating was one thing. Dating with siblings right there was another matter altogether.
At Luke’s, he called his mom to let her know, and then he let them all into the workshop. In her white pants, Sage was super careful not to touch anything. They went through and to the back where Luke turned on the little light.
“Okay,” he said, laying the pieces out on the bench, “Ryder, you’re going to have to show me how this goes.”
Ryder came forward, looking very much like a surgeon on a tough case. “This was the roof. And this part was the front where they could get in.”
The two of them went to work on the puzzle as Sage and Jaycee watched. After only a few minutes, Sage looked over at her sister, who looked back, and Sage smiled. Remarkably Jaycee smiled back, and it almost even looked real.
It was two o’clock before they got the thing back together. There was no telling how many nails they had put in it, and it was glued within an inch of its life. If the wind tried to take it apart again, the wind would surely lose that battle.
“You know,” Sage said. “I think we should get some paint. We could do it in yellow and pink. This part right here…”
“Pink?” Ryder stepped back as if he’d been shot. “This is a boy birdhouse. Not a girl birdhouse.”
“What? You’re not going to let the little girl birds in it?” Sage asked. “What about when it rains? You’re going to leave them outside?”
“I call discrimination,” Jaycee said, coming shoulder-to-shoulder with her sister.
Ryder stepped back to Luke and angled his mouth as if only Luke could hear him. “I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t sound good.”
Luke laughed. “Tell me about it.” He stepped over to a small pile of wood in the corner. “Tell you what, why don’t we put together a girl birdhouse? We can put it over on the other tree, and they won’t know the real action is across the way.”
“Great idea!” Ryder said. “I think the boy birdhouse should have a big screen TV and some nice chairs. The girl birdhouse can just have some dumb ol’ dolls.”
“Dolls?” Jaycee asked in horror. “How about a basketball goal?”
“And paints,” Sage said, coming forward, “don’t forget those.”
The two guys exchanged a look and shook their heads.
“We could do it in pink and green,” Sage said.
“And purple,” Jaycee added. “Don’t forget the purple.”
“Pink, green, and purple?” Luke asked, shaking his head. “Wow.”
The second birdhouse didn’t take nearly as long to put together because Luke used only a few pieces, one for each wall, one for the floor and two for the roof. It was together in no time.
“Now we just have to paint it,” Jaycee said in triumph as she picked it up.
However, Sage looked down at herself. “I think you’re going to have to do that. I’m not exactly dressed for painting today.”
Pulling the project down to her hip like a basketball, Jaycee surveyed her sister. “Well, maybe you can come tomorrow and we can paint it.”
Sage could hardly believe her ears. “Really?”
“Sure. But I ain’t touching the pink.” Jaycee half-grinned at her.
“Pink,” Ryder said. “Yeach.”
“High five on that one, buddy.” Luke lifted his hand, and Ryder slapped it. Then Luke looked at his watch. “As much as I hate to, we better get. I told Mom we’d be there by now.”
“Oh. Right!” Sage panicked in one second. “We should go.”
“You can just drop us off,” Jaycee said, leading the way out, still carrying her birdhouse.
“Thanks, Luke,” Ryder said when he got out of the car, holding his pieced-back-together birdhouse. It was a small miracle they’d rescued all of it.
“You got it, dude.” Luke held out his fist, and Ryder bumped it.
“Seriously,” Jaycee said to Sage. “Come tomorrow. I’ve got basketball in the morning, but around one I’m free.”
“Uh. Okay,” Sage said from inside the car, and Luke could hear her uncertainty. He didn’t blame her. He was having a hard time processing this new version of Jaycee as well.
She got out of the car and stood there, right in front of him, for two seconds. “Take care.” Reaching out, she put her hand on his arm. “And behave yourself with my sister, or you’ll have me to answer to.”
That slammed into him, and it took a minute to get anything out. “Oh. Uh. Yeah. Got it. No problem.”
Then Jaycee bent down to wave at Sage. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“K.” Sage waved back, and Luke got back in.
When the door closed, he looked over at her with raised eyebrows. “What was that?”
Her eyes were wide with surprise. “You tell me. Did she fall out of the tree with the birdhouse?”
“I was wondering the same thing.” He put the car into drive and extracted them from the driveway. “You okay?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah. I think so.” She let out a breath. “Sometimes it’s so easy.”
“What’s that?”
“Believing.”
Sage was very glad for his arm as they walked into his grandmother’s house because with it around her and him right next to her, she felt like anything was possible. It felt so incredibly right. Like it was made to be there. Like he was made to be there and nowhere else. “I sure hope they’re not mad we missed lunch.”
“It’s okay. I let Mom know we were going to be a little late. I think they already ate. Our chicken might be cold though.” He opened and held the door for her.
Walking forward into the house, she let her gaze stay up and on him as their hands caught and held. “I think it was worth it.”
“I know it was.” With that, he arrested her forward progress just shy of the door and pulled her back to him.
“Luke?” Bewilderment attacked her as she slid easily right into his arms. “Your family’s right in there. What’re you doing?”
However, his gaze said it all. “Something I’ve wanted to do ever since I walked into church this morning.” And with that, he slipped his fingers onto her jawline and tangled them into her hair. “I love you… in case you ever wonder about that.”
His presence was so overwhelming that even smiling was impossible.
She laughed in a way that almost made her cry. “I don’t think I’ll ever wonder about that.”
He nodded, never letting go of her eyes. “Good.”
And then her eyes fell closed as he came toward her, softly, until their lips met, his not taking but giving only, and she fell into that kiss like she’d never fallen before. It was mind-blowingly sweet so much so that she lost any protest she might have considered making. He was so warm and safe, so tender and yet intensely solid. And he loved her. He had said it, but the kiss said it more. His arms slid down and around her and then one trailed up her back so that his palm splayed out between her shoulder blades, keeping her from falling but dangling her there as she surrendered and let him lead.
All breath and sanity vanished from her grasp, and when he pulled back to assess her, she couldn’t have protested if she’d have wanted to. Swaying there in his grasp, she could hardly find her breath or any of her senses. Blinking, she held his gaze with hers. Then, probably because she willed him to, he licked his lips and lowered them to hers once more, so soft, warm, and gentle that time itself ceased to exist. Spinning, falling, flying. What was happening, she couldn’t honestly be sure anymore as the world acquiesced its hold on her and yielded it over to his care.
When he let her go again, they were both gasping and gripping onto each other. As she dove into his embrace, she felt the rest of life drop away and float into oblivion at her feet. If she dared let him go, she would surely drift right off the earth itself.
“Darlin’, you’re worth cold chicken any day,” he whispered into her hair as his arms tightened around her.
She looked up at him, still swinging and swaying on the feel of him next to her. “Who cares about chicken?”
His smile and laugh broke some of the spell, and she was glad of that because he could have talked her into about anything at that moment. “Come on. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
It wasn’t her fault that Sage blushed every time she thought about that kiss, and in his grandparents’ house no less. By nightfall when he let her off at the preacher’s house, she was desperately hoping for a repeat, but this kiss held only sweetness as they stood on the front porch.
“You know, sometimes I really wonder how I’m ever going to let you go,” he whispered, holding her to him. “I keep telling myself we’re young, and we’ve got a long way to go before we could even think about making this permanent.”
Permanent. The word rocked her world.
“But I really don’t know how I’m going to live ‘til then. You make me crazy sometimes.” Gently he kissed her hair, and she giggled softly.
“Um, so you’ve… thought about this?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound like a child but knowing she did.
“What? The making it permanent thing?”
She nodded.
“Darlin’, every time I’m around you, every time I see you, every time I dream about you, which is most nights and some afternoons... It’s not my fault. When I think about life, my life, I just can’t imagine it without you in it.”
She knew the feeling, but she didn’t know he did. “Luke…”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I’ve told myself every reason in the book that this might not work forever, that I shouldn’t think like that or hope it because it might not happen, but the truth is, no matter what happens, I’m always going to go right back here and know this was the most perfect time of my life. Just being here, with you.”
Sage heard him to the depths of her soul, and every chord he touched in her sang in harmony with the melody of her own feelings. “I love you, you know that?”
“Not half as much as I love you, darlin’. Not even close.”
The next day Sage was glad for the fact that the silver van wasn’t in the driveway when Jane dropped her off at the Lawrences’ house. She had texted Jaycee and half-expected her not to reply about coming out to paint. When she did, a whole new set of worries beset her. What would they talk about? Would Jaycee be the Jaycee from yesterday or the one from the past three months? And without Luke there, she would have no buffer against any of the hostility of her stepsister if it devolved into something ugly.
On the strength of a prayer only, she went up to the door and knocked, very thankful that Jane had seen fit to wait to leave until she got inside.
It was Ryder who came screaming from the inside of the house. “She’s here!”
Sage was sure they heard him on the moon, and then he opened the door and plunged into her arms.
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her inside barely giving her a chance to wave at Jane. “We’ve got it all set up. Mom even got some paints out of the garage.”
When Sage broke past the mud room into the kitchen, she found Jaycee standing there, waiting. A second of awkwardness, and Jaycee shifted feet and reached up to scratch the back of her head.
“We couldn’t find much pink,” her stepsister said. “Only some in this little tube, and I think it’s hot pink not light pink.”
That her stepsister was as nervous as she was about this softened Sage’s panic. “That’s okay. A little pink can go a long way.”
“We got blue for mine,” Ryder said at her side, his demeanor ultra-serious. “And I’ll go up to yellow, but no green, and definitely no pink.”
Sage smiled at her little brother. “Oh, absolutely. We wouldn’t want to send the wrong message about girl birds being welcome.”
“That’s right.” He pointed at her and nodded.
She had to bite back the laugh, and when she looked over to her sister, she found her doing the exact same thing. “Well, what do you say we get started? Those birds aren’t going to wait forever.”
An hour later with paints all over the newspaper spread on the table, Sage sat on one side of the table and the other two were on the other side. She would paint for a little while with Jaycee and then switch and help Ryder. The girls’ birdhouse was now green and purple alternating, and Ryder’s was a solid royal blue with little yellow embellishments on it.
“So, how’s Luke?” Jaycee asked as Sage worked on Ryder’s project, and the blue paintbrush nearly skipped out of her hand.
“Oh.” Sage’s eyes went wide as fight or flight took hold of her and squeezed the air right out. “Uh. Okay. We went out to his grandma’s yesterday.” The blush followed like the day following night, and she ducked not to let her sister see it.
“They’re really nice.” Jaycee swirled on some green paint.
“Yeah.” It would be nice to breathe. Yes, yes, it would.
“Hannah’s sweet. You’ve met her, right?”
Talking without breathing was more challenging than it sounded, and Sage started to get light-headed. “Uh, yeah. I’ve met everyone except Maddie, I think.”
Jaycee smiled and nodded. “Maddie moved out to Texas a few years ago. She was really sweet too. She used to babysit us when Luke and I were little.”
Luke little. Oh, what Sage wouldn’t have given to see that. “Really?”
“It’s so weird. I remember their house almost as much as ours. We’d go over there like two or three times a week in the summer.” Jaycee put her chin on her hand that was resting on the table to get a straight on view of her creation. “I think maybe that’s why…”
Sage waited for the rest, but when it didn’t come, she glanced over. “Why what?”
The shrug bounced once. “It was so weird.”
That didn’t clear anything up. “What was weird?”
“Him with you.” Jaycee’s gaze came across the table, an apology couched there. “You’re good for him.”
The no-breathing thing attacked her again but for a completely different reason.
With a smile, Jaycee shook her head. “He needed someone to believe in him. He’s always been all… what do I have to offer anybody, and he’d never believe me when I tried to tell him. But then, I’d always say if he just did this or that, then…” She shook her head. “That’s not what I should have said.”
Holding the paintbrush above the birdhouse, Sage looked at her sister with compassion. “What should you have said?”
“Luke, you’re perfect just like you are. Don’t ever change.”
Their eyes met, and Sage knew she would never feel like fleeing from her sister again.
“That’s what you tell him,” Jaycee said. “Maybe not with words, but I see it.” Her gaze yanked down, and she let out a breath. “I’m… happy for both of you.”
Softness and compassion for how hard that had been to say went all the way down into Sage. “Thank you.”
This smile was only half. “You’re welcome.”
Luke had been out at Evan Woodall’s most of the morning. The railroad-tie lean-to barn was coming along nicely. Of course, Evan had never been one to plan very far ahead, so of course they ran out of tin halfway around the thing. With a shake of his head at how interesting people could be to work for and with, he turned up the radio and headed home for lunch.
It would be nice to have some of the afternoon to work on his own projects. Evan had said they could probably start again at three, and Luke wondered at the sanity of working on a tin roof with the sun full-up in the sky. He thought about calling Evan back and asking if they could just finish up the next day because he’d been considering working on a special project in his workshop but had about given up on having time to. A few hours in the workshop just might do the trick. However, when he turned into his driveway, worry smacked into him and he forgot all about the project and the tin roof. There sat the little silver minivan he hadn’t thought to look for when he’d passed the Lawrences. Mrs. Lawrence. What was she doing here, and what agony had she brought with her?
The two little birdhouses stood sentinel on the porch, drying in the sunshine, and Sage figured it was probably time to let Jane know she was ready.
“You hungry?” Jaycee asked from the cabinet.
“Oh. I don’t… you don’t have to feed me.”
However, Jaycee wound her lips into an off-kilter pucker. “Yeah. Like you eat so much.” Reaching into the cabinet to retrieve three plates, Jaycee glanced over her shoulder. “We could do sandwiches.” She shrugged. “I don’t think we have any caviar.”
The arrow hit Sage before she was ready for it, and she gasped.
But before she could feel the hurt, Jaycee turned to her and set the plates on the counter. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “Sometimes my mouth talks before my head thinks.”
Blinking back the tears, Sage nodded. “That’s okay. I don’t even like caviar.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Nastiest stuff I’ve ever tasted.”
Jaycee’s eyes went wide. “You’ve really had caviar?”
“And foie gras.” Sage shivered and really thought she might throw up at the memory.
Her eyebrows lifted for the ceiling as Jayce arched her shoulders on the push of her hands on the cabinet. “Do I even want to know what that is?”
“Probably not. Do you like liver?”
“Ugh!” Jaycee shook her head. “No way.”
“Yeah. Then you don’t want to know.”
“Why would you eat that stuff?” Jaycee asked, the sandwiches forgotten for a moment.
Sage shrugged. “Because you do a lot of things you really don’t want to… to impress everybody else.”
Jaycee’s face and eyes softened with compassion. “Guess I never thought about that.”
This smile was more of a forced grimace. “Most people don’t.” Her gaze fell from her sister’s, and then she pulled it back up. “And sometimes, even when you’re doing it, you just do because that’s just how it is.”
Curiosity won out as Luke went not to the workshop but up the steps and into the house. He was hungry, and it was almost one o’clock. That should give him enough of an excuse.
Stepping into the kitchen, he found his mother and Mrs. Lawrence, sitting at the table, coffee cups between them.
“Oh, Luke,” his mother said, standing. “I thought that was going to take all day.”
“It was, but Evan ran out of tin. Surprise. Surprise.” He went to the refrigerator and took out the leftover casserole from three days before. “I’m headed out to the shop for a little bit.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
Because he was so intent on figuring out what was going on, he felt the look pass between the two women.
“Your mom showed me the new rooms,” Mrs. Lawrence said. “You did a wonderful job on them.”
The microwave beeped, and he retrieved his lunch. “That was mostly Sage, all I did was hold the brush and do what she told me.” He laughed at that as he forked through the noodles and meat. “Um, I think I’ll just take this out there.” Now that he was pretty sure his mother might be making some headway, he figured making himself scarce was a better idea than hanging around.
“Bring my dish back!” his mother called as he got to the doorway, and he waved.
“Will do!”
Sage hadn’t counted on Jane being called out on a mercy mission. When she called at almost three and found out her ride was at least two hours away from showing up, panic once again seized her. Five o’clock could mean very bad things—like people showing up she definitely did not want to meet up with.
In her old room, she sized up the suitcases still stacked there from before her banishment. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, she needed to get them ready in case this was her last chance. One at a time, she opened each one and refolded the clothing she found there. Each piece chimed ever louder just why Jaycee had hated her so much. Chiffon and cashmere, silk and linen. How much style, how much arrogance in one small pile. She sighed that thought down and kept folding until all but the bottom suitcase of clothes remained.
It was when she pulled it out and put it on the bed that she heard the back door slam, and with everything in her, she hoped that was Jaycee leaving and not someone coming in. That hope lasted about ten seconds before she heard Emily’s voice talking with Jaycee in the kitchen. “Oh, Lord,” Sage said, closing her eyes, “help.”
Holding one blush pink blouse to her heart, she breathed the prayer a second time just as her phone beeped in her pocket. She wished she could close the door, but she knew better so she dug out the little phone and swiped it on to find the text waiting.
Seriously? Have you been here the whole summer and not told me?
Confusion hit Sage like a left hook, and she tipped her head at the strange message. It was Patelyn, and Patelyn very well might have hit the wrong button. She had been known to do such things in the past.
And MOVING?!!!!!! How could you not tell me?
The next text came in before Sage could figure out how reply to the first one. And then a third blinked in.
When were you going to tell me you’re moving to Pasadena?
“Pasadena?” At that Sage really shook her head. “Patelyn, honey. You’re texting the wrong person, dear.” She texted it as she said it. “This is SAGE.” Hitting send, she let out a small laugh. Her goofy friend. Whoever knew with Patelyn.
I KNOW who this is. Why do you think I’m completely freaking out here? Did you really NOT LEAVE?! What’s up with that?
Although it was a strange message, Sage shook her head because her friend was clearly confused. “Okay, Pate. What in the world are you talking about?” She dialed the number and put the phone to her ear. They could text all night and not get this straight.
“Sage?” Patelyn sounded as if she thought Sage was on the moon rather than on the other side of the phone.
“Pate? Yes, this is Sage. What is going on?”
“Sage.” Patelyn let out a breath. “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you were just going to disappear on us. Just POOF and evaporation-city.”
Sitting down on the bed, Sage was careful not to crush any of the items lying there. “No. I’m right here. What’s going on? What’s this about Pasadena?”
“My mom just came in, and she said she ran into your mom today. She said you’re moving to Pasadena? What, were you not going to tell us that? I thought you were coming back here for school. Mom made it sound like you’d never even left.”
Reality began to swirl around her as Sage tried to catch back onto it. “Pasadena? But we’re not… I’m not… Wait. Pasadena? That’s where Aunt Anna… Hold on. When did you say your mom talked to my mom?”
“At lunch. She said your mom was eating lunch with some lawyer.”
The room started spinning and tilting. “A lawyer? Are you sure?”
“She said you guys had been out in Pasadena for a while, that you’re moving there for school in the fall.”
Where had all the air gone? “Pate, are you… are you sure?”
“Yeees. That’s why I texted you freaking out. That’s not right, is it? It can’t be right. You’re not leaving, are you?”
Sage had absolutely no idea how to answer that. “When I talked to Mom, what was that a couple days ago, she said they were in Tuscany.”
“Well, if Tuscany is close to Pasadena, maybe, but she isn’t in Italy, that’s for sure.”
So that was why her mother had sounded so strange on the phone. She wasn’t in Tuscany at all. The question was, had she ever been in Tuscany? Sage’s heart pounded through and over and around that question like a swarming army getting ready for the attack.
“Listen, Pate, I’m going to have to call you back.”
“Okay. Are you okay?”
“What?” She hadn’t even heard the question. Then she shook out of that. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’m fine. I’ll call you later. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”
“Okay. Well, I want to know the second you get here.”
At that moment, Sage wondered if she would ever “get here” again. “I’ll let you know.”
“K. TTFN.”
“Yeah. Bye.” Sage pulled the phone from her ear, hit off, and the contacts. In three beeps she had the phone ringing again.
“Hello?” Her mother sounded asleep or drunk or both.
“Mom?” Sage asked in barely disguised panic.
“Sage? Ugh. What time is it?”
“Almost four my time. What time is it there?”
“I…” There was a loud crash. “Ugh. Stupid clock. Uh…. Um… It’s…”
“Mom, where are you?” The question was hard, and Sage stood from the bed, turned her back to the door as she sank her fingers into her hair as all-out panic engulfed her. “Are you at Aunt Anna’s? Mom…? Mom! Focus! Are you at Aunt Anna’s?”
“Is everything all right?” Emily stopped at the threshold of the door and looked inside.
When Sage spun, she had no time to get herself together, and there was too much worry coursing through her for her to even reply.
“Aunt Anna’s…?” The words were slurring now. “No, of course not, baby. Why would I be there? I’m in… I’m in London.”
“London? Mom, you weren’t going to London.” And then she knew with one-hundred percent clarity. “Where’s Jason?”
“Jason?” her mother asked as if she’d never heard that name.
“Jason. Mom. Where’s Jason. I want to talk to him. Now!”
It was then that she felt Emily step into the room, but she didn’t have the head-space to deal with that too. She turned, digging to find solid ground and finding none.
“Ericka!” someone said in the background. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“Aunt Anna,” Sage said as if she’d been shot, and she sat down heavily on the bed. The sigh took the rest of the fight right out of her. “You are at Aunt Anna’s, aren’t you?”
“Sage, wait, baby. I can explain…”
“I’m sure you can, Mom.” As the tears came up, she sniffed them down but that did no good. “Tell you what. I’ve got to go.” She looked up and Emily was standing right there in front of her, worry scrawled across her face. “I’ll call you later.”
“Sage! Please, baby…”
“Bye.” Taking the phone from her ear, she looked at it, sighed, and clicked the off button and then held it to disconnect the phone from her life.
Silence settled in the room broken only by the sounds of a television playing somewhere else in the house.
Emily looked like she’d rather be shipped to Jupiter than to be standing there, and she shifted uneasily still assessing her stepdaughter. “Is everything okay?”
There was no way to even get an act over the ache. Sage glanced up but couldn’t hold Emily’s gaze. After this, the condemnation by her stepmother would be completely justified and wholly deserved. Yes. They deserved to be trashed. They were trash.
“That was Mom,” Sage squeaked out, and tears of hurt and humiliation flooded over her. “She’s… not in Europe.”
Confusion layered over the concern on Emily’s face. “What do you mean she’s not in Europe?”
Sage shrugged and beat back the tears. “I don’t even know if she went to Europe.”
Nothing moved for a long minute as Emily tried to process that. “Then where is she?”
Trying to process it all herself, Sage blinked slowly, purse her lips, and shook her head. “I think she’s at my Aunt Anna’s, in Pasadena.”
“California?” Emily asked as if suffering from a lack of air.
“Yeah.” Sage got a sad smile to her face. “Great, huh?”
Coming over to the bed, Emily sat down on it near Sage but not really next to her. A second and then another and she put her hand over onto Sage’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
One look at her stepmom, and Sage couldn’t hold the heartache back. “Not really.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” And remarkably it didn’t sound harsh, sarcastic or ironic.
“She lied to me.” The words came out as if she needed them on the record somewhere. “She’s… been lying to me. All summer.”
Emily sighed but said nothing.
“I don’t understand. Why would she do that?” Sage stood and took a step before turning. “Do you think…” Then other pieces started falling into place. Patelyn. The lawyer. Pasadena. “Are they getting a divorce?”
“I honestly don’t know. Your dad’s been trying…”
“That’s why they sent me here, isn’t it? It wasn’t for a second honeymoon. It was to get me out of the way.”
“I think they really were trying, sweetheart. I know that’s what she’s told your dad.”
“I’m such an idiot.” The swirling started again. “What am I going to tell my friends?” She stopped. “My friends? What friends? I live in Pasadena now. They don’t live in Pasadena. I do. I don’t want to live in Pasadena. Who wants to live in Pasadena?”
“Come here.” Emily stood, put her arm around Sage and led her out the door and into the den where she sat her on the couch. “Here. Sit down for a minute. Let me call your dad. Maybe he knows something we don’t.”
Looking up through vision streaked with tears, Sage’s spirit flipped into freak-out mode. “Tell him I don’t want to live in Pasadena.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him.”
It wasn’t long after her stepmother had gone out to make the call that Jaycee found her way into the den. Sheepishly, she lifted her shoulders. “Is something wrong?”
Sage took one look at her and laughed softly. “Yeah, my whole life. Everything was a lie. Yay me.” She put her hands up jazz-style and shook her head. “You were right though. Looks like we’re back to me being one big, giant mistake. Can’t get away from being that for long, can I?”
“Sage,” Jaycee said, and she looked as if she might start crying. “I’m so sorry about saying that. I didn’t mean it.”
However, Sage knew better. “Yes you did, and it’s the truth. I’m just not sure which is more true, the mistake or the lie.”
Jaycee came all the way over to the couch then and stood there, hands in her back pockets looking down. “Can I do anything?”
Swiping at the tears that didn’t seem to be getting the message she didn’t want nor need them, Sage looked up. “Rewind back to sometime that things actually made some sense.” But even as she said it, the harsh part of her asked when that would be. Before her father left for California 19 years ago? Yes, at least back that far.
“Your dad is on his way,” Emily said, sweeping into the room but stopping when she saw her daughter standing there.
With everything in her, Sage hated seeing only their thighs as they stood shoulder-to-shoulder in front of her. A judge and jury pronouncing sentence couldn’t have felt any worse. Finally, Emily sank and sat on the couch.
“I don’t want to go to Pasadena,” Sage said, her voice breaking on the thought. “I don’t even know anyone in Pasadena.”
“We’ll think of something,” her stepmother said, but Sage knew just like the rest of her life, that was a lie too. Her stepmother didn’t care if she moved to Mars so long as she wasn’t there.
“Yeah.” Jaycee sat down on the other side of her, slightly behind her. “Dad’ll know what to do. He will.”
Don’t cry, Sage. The thought was barely a whisper, drowned out by the bleeding of her heart. Do not break down now. Not like this. Not in front of them. They will only use it against you. She sniffed and picked up her head, shaking it and fighting to remain stable. “I just can’t believe it, you know?” The shaking became slower as her head went back and forth. “All this time. I thought she was in Europe. How could I have been so gullible?”
“We all did,” Emily said. “We all believed her, and why wouldn’t we? Why would she ever have lied about this?”
Sage wasn’t sure if she was asking for an answer or not, but she felt obliged to make one for the both of them. “I don’t know. Maybe she just wanted some peace and quiet for a change. Maybe I was in the way.” The words crumpled her face, and she bit her lips to keep the tears from falling.
“Oh, Sage, no,” Jaycee said. “I’m sure this has nothing to do with you.”
But Sage knew better, and she knew they did too. Pasadena. She wondered what it was like this time of year.