Chapter 34
The end tables for the Mitchells would have to wait. Duty called. Luke picked her up on Friday, and they headed to the grocery store.
“So what’s Mrs. P making this week?” Sage asked.
“Ham and potatoes, green beans, salad, and rolls.”
She quirked her face. “What is this, Christmas?”
He laughed. “We’re not getting cranberry sauce.”
“Thank goodness.”
Ham for 250 people proved to be a bigger order than Sage had anticipated when he’d said it. It took them three grocery carts to get everything.
“And one more.” Luke took down another giant can of green beans and handed it to her to stack in the third cart.
“Are you sure we need this much?” she asked, looking at the pile with a skeptical shake of her head.
“When Mrs. P puts a number on the list.” He held it up for her to see. “You get that number.”
“Then Mrs. P wins.” She went around and shoved the cart with the ham forward as he navigated between the other two. “Is that everything?”
“I hope so.”
“Did they get a new refrigerator?” she asked as her thoughts turned to the next task at hand. Dragging all this stuff in was going to be no easy job; having no place to put it would be worse.
“Not new. I think Pastor Steve borrowed one from somebody for this weekend.”
At the checkout, Luke started unloading the first cart.
“Oh, Luke,” the stout lady with the black hair at the counter said. “Is it that time again already?”
“’Fraid so.” He was busy stacking cans and bags of potatoes on the conveyor belt. “How are you today?”
It was then that Sage first felt the woman’s glance hit her and snag. Over the two carts ahead of her, Sage smiled and twisted a stray piece of hair over her ear because suddenly she had a really bad case of the nerves.
“Oh. Good. Good.” Distracted, the lady continued to beep the merchandise. She fought to look at the carts and not at Sage. “Looks like Christmas.”
Luke laughed and glanced back at Sage. “That’s exactly what Sage said.”
“Oh?” the lady asked, beeping the bag of potatoes as her gaze came firmly onto Sage and stuck there.
It was clear to Sage how unwelcome she was in this conversation. Equally clear was that Luke hadn’t realized it.
“Yeah, I told her we weren’t getting cranberry sauce.” He laughed, and the lady did a short laugh as well, obviously humoring him.
One cart was now unloaded, and he started on the next one, pushing the first forward and putting the sacked groceries into it—somehow all at the same time.
“Oh, here, I’ll get these,” Sage said, coming forward to the second cart. She reached in and pulled a can out. “I sure hope somebody likes green beans more than I do.” It was supposed to be a joke, but it must not have been funny because the lady suddenly looked like she’d sucked a rotten lemon. Putting her head down, Sage took the hint and said no more as she lifted and set, lifted and set until all the cans were rolling down the conveyor.
Beep. Beep. Beep. The little tallier was the only sound between them. Luke was still gathering sacks on the other end, and although Sage would have liked to be friendly with the lady, it was very clear that would not be welcome. So she stacked and piled and worked wordlessly, praying they could get out of here with minimal damage to Luke’s reputation.
The hams were heavier than they looked, and one ca-thunked awkwardly onto the conveyor earning her an especially unhappy look from the lady. Sage quickly brushed her hair back and smiled a grimace of apology.
Ten more beeps and thankfully, shopping was finished but for the exchange of funds. Very careful not to touch him, Sage crossed behind Luke to take over his job as he paid the lady.
“Now you be careful with this set,” the lady said with only a glance at Sage, “I’d hate for you to have to spend more of your own money again.”
With one bag hovering between the checkout place and the basket, Sage stopped, intrigued and concerned. But quickly she regathered her presence of mind and finished the job.
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Luke said. “They got a fridge that works now.”
“Well, thank the Lord for small favors.” The lady swiped the card and handed it back. “Do you need any help getting these out to the car?”
He signed the paper as Sage fought to ask what she looked like chopped cheese? “Uh, no thanks. I think we’ve got it.”
The lady’s glance at her questioned that with an uh-huh in her eyes, but she completed the transaction and bid Luke a nice day with a God bless tacked onto the end. Without bothering to wait for a friendly good-bye Sage knew would never come her way, she turned and shoved on one cart while dragging the other behind her.
In the next heartbeat, Luke was with her wrangling the little caravan out to the car. There, they stowed the groceries in the trunk and backseat, and Luke put the baskets together and took them back in. When he came back, he looked over at her.
“Well, that was pleasant,” she said, raking the hair from her face.
“I don’t know what her problem was. She’s normally a real sweetheart.” He reached down and started the car.
But Sage knew very well what the problem was. The name started with an S and ended with age.
Thankfully there was no one around when they got to the community center and teaming up from car to refrigerator, they got the groceries put away in no time. Luke still felt bad about Mrs. Thompson. It was so strange to him how normally kind, nice people just lost their minds when Sage showed up. What was that anyway?
He tried to be goofy enough to take her mind off of it, and the fact that she was smiling by the time he dropped her off was a good sign. “So, I’ll be here around eight for supper and then the bonfire?” he asked, and she looked up at him.
The hurt was in her eyes, but she chose not to speak it. “I’ll be here.”
“So the two of you got the groceries in?” Jane asked as she sat at the kitchen table, bills spread before her.
“We did.” Sage went to the refrigerator and got water. The standoff with the clerk was doing very unhealthy things to her heart, and although she knew Jane wouldn’t be able to fix it, she needed someone to sort it out with. “Um, do you have a minute?”
At that, Jane turned. “Sure, what’s up?”
Sage ran her finger around and around the top of her glass. “Well, I know you said about how you came from like… nothing, right?”
Jane nodded as worry crossed her face.
“I’m sure that was really tough. That people judged you for it.”
“That they did.”
Nodding, Sage tried to figure out how to ask this without sounding like she was whining. “Do you think… I mean, is it possible to be judged if you have money, or is it only if you don’t?”
A moment and a light went on behind Jane’s eyes. She reached over and pushed a chair out. “Have a seat.”
Seeing no reason not to, Sage sat but kept her gaze down.
“Want to tell me what happened?”
After only a moment’s pause, Sage lifted her gaze. “People don’t like me very much. They look at me like I’m pond scum, and it doesn’t seem to matter what I do. When I was with Rory, they whispered about us, about me, and I guess I thought I kind of had that coming because… well, they thought I was fast and easy and all of that even though that wasn’t really true. But now that I’m with Luke, they still do that, they still look like they’d rather throw me off a bridge than be friendly or nice to me.”
Jane set her pencil down. “Sage, honey, people are so busy comparing themselves with you, they don’t take the time to think about what those judgments do to you.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t… I mean, I wasn’t trying to act all better than anybody. It was just us, getting groceries.” She shrugged. “And it’s bad enough that it’s me, but now they’re starting to look at Luke like that too, like why would someone like him want to be with someone like me.”
Her hostess sighed. “I know all of this has to be so hard on you, but you have to know, when they look at you like that and try to make you feel bad just for being who you are, you’re the only one who can decide if they really have that power. And the thing I’ve learned is they only have the power you choose to give them. If you choose to think of yourself however they think of you or however they happen to treat you, then you’ve built your life on sand. People’s opinions and approval are not something to build your worth on because even if they love you, they’re going to let you down, they’re going to get upset with you, and sooner or later, that house is going to crumble.
“That’s why you’ve got to learn to build on the Rock, on God Himself Who loves you more than you will ever know.” She turned all the way to Sage. “I remember something Steve told me a long time ago, ‘Only two people get a vote about your worth and acceptance, you and God, and your vote doesn’t count.’”
That brought out a half smile from Sage who remembered her hostess saying that once before. “But how do you do that? How do you remember that when they’re making you feel like you are worthless.”
“You go to God. And you get really good at going to Him long before they ever start those judgments. Remember the tea cup?”
Sage smiled and nodded. How could she forget?
“Well, sometimes other people don’t see the worth of that tea cup the same way God does. That doesn’t take away its worth to God. It only means they are looking at it from a worldly perspective, not a Godly one. And I’ll be honest, I’ve learned to say what Jesus said on the cross, ‘Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing.’” Jane shook her head. “They really don’t, Sage. They don’t grasp even for a moment how eternally important it is to be encouraging and bring people up rather than tearing them down.
“One of my favorite Scriptures says that God sent me here on a mission to put people together, not to take them apart. That’s what I try to do, as much as I can.”
Gratefulness touched Sage’s heart. “Well, you’re good at it.”
Jane nodded. “And so are you. I’ve seen how much Luke has grown over the summer. He’s always been a great guy, but now… there’s a confidence there that wasn’t there before.” She stopped and seemed to listen to the air. “Sometimes I get things on a different level than most people. I can see things that others just don’t, and I think that Satan is terribly afraid of you.”
“Of me?” Sage backed up. “What does that mean? Why would he be afraid of me?”
“Because He knows what a difference you could make in this world if he ever let you out of his grasp. That’s why he’s done so much to keep you down. You have a gift of beauty and of strength, Sage, and if you ever harnessed those gifts, you could change the world.”
Sage still wasn’t sure about that even as she dressed later for supper and the bonfire, but one part of Jane’s words resonated with her. “Father,” she spoke the words softly as she gazed into her mirror, “forgive them, they really don’t know what they’re doing.”
For the first time, she let the hurt find her heart, and she let herself feel what they were doing to her. Putting her down, shunning her, condemning her for decisions she had no part in making. Yes, the townspeople but that included her family as well. Jaycee.
Wow, did that thought hurt, cutting deeply into her spirit. Words, tones, looks. They all came back at Sage like knives intent on slicing her to ribbons. “Father,” she prayed, reaching out as though she was drowning, “forgive Jaycee. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know what this is like to not have a real family, to feel like such a freak and an outcast. But God, I know, she’s hurting too. She’s angry at me. I get that, but I don’t know how to fix it.”
Her thoughts were spiraling now. “And Dad, God, please show me how to be his daughter or to not be if he doesn’t want me. Help me to forgive him and be okay with whatever he decides.”
And then her spirit snagged on another face. “Emily.” It took breathing to get the tears not to overwhelm her. “God, please help…”
The conversation over supper centered around the meal the next morning, peeling or not peeling potatoes, and what to do about the refrigerator. For her part, Sage mostly listened, glad the adults and Luke were so comfortable together. When they went out to the car, however, it took nearly no time at all for Luke to look at her. In fact, he hadn’t even started the car yet.
“Okay. What’s up?”
Sage had hoped he wouldn’t notice. She should have known better. “I’m sorry about today, at the grocery store.”
He lowered his gaze and lifted his eyebrows. “You’re sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?”
Her gaze stayed on her fingers. “I just know what everyone thinks about me, and I didn’t want that to rub off on you.”
To her surprise, he laughed. “You’re seriously worried what they think about me?”
Anger bumped into her. “Yes. Why is that strange?”
He laughed again and started the car. “Darlin’, if I cared about what they thought, I’d already be someone else entirely.”
“What does that mean?”
“‘Luke, why don’t you play football?’ ‘Luke, you are a good height. Why don’t you join the basketball team? They could sure use you.’ ‘Luke, why aren’t you doing the stock shows this year?’ ‘Luke, we need more people in the band, and you’re not doing anything…’” He swung his gaze over to her. “You really have to ask?”
“But…”
“No, Sage.” He reached over and took her hand. “I love you, but if you change who you are for them, you won’t even recognize yourself by the time you’re done. You’ve got to figure out where you’re standing and be there. If they love you, they will understand. If they don’t, that’s their problem, not yours.” Once again, he glanced at her. “I’ve had so much fun with you this week, doing the furniture and painting. You’re so much happier when you let yourself be you.”
It was pointless to deny. “But they hate me for being me.”
“No. They hate who they think you are, but that you isn’t even really you. It’s who you think you’re supposed to be, or who they want you to be. Be you. Let that be good enough.”
She’d never heard a more daunting challenge.
Shadows and figures were dancing in the firelight by the time they arrived, and Luke was glad for the anonymity. He didn’t need to be seen by everyone to be happy about being there with her. In her soft pink top that floated in layers, she looked like casual perfection. He loved that about her, how simply stylish she was no matter what she decided to wear.
Walking up to the fire, she matched his steps, his arm around her, hers around his waist as together as they had ever before been, and he loved that most of anything.
“Well, if it isn’t Luke and Sage,” Jessica said, and she smiled at them.
“Hey, Jess.” Luke stopped their forward progress but never removed his arm. “How’re you?”
“Ugh. So not ready for school to start. You?”
Luke laughed. “When have I ever been ready for school to start?”
Jessica joined in his laugh. “Have you finished the reading?”
“Uh… sure,” he said with a grin. Then his gaze slipped down to Sage. “Sage, do you know Jess?”
“Oh. I don’t think so.” Sage offered her hand.
“I’ve seen you around,” Jessica said, and the words held nothing but kindness. “I love that top. Where’d you get it?”
And remarkably, as he watched her, Sage opened like a rose after a rain. She and Jessica talked about clothes and classes, and Luke was amazed at how easy it all seemed. He loved watching her like this. Not fighting. Not struggling. Just being… her. It was all he’d ever hoped for and more.
Sage was actually beginning to feel like part of the group. She and Jessica had talked so much Luke had excused himself to get them something to drink. By the time he got back, Jessica and Ashlyn were sharing embarrassing Luke-from-kindergarten stories, and he wished he hadn’t left.
“Remember when the boys all dressed up with our dresses?” Jessica said.
Ashlyn laughed. “My mom still has that picture. Luke has this cute blond wig on. You should see it.”
“I’ll have to sometime,” Sage said, looking up at him, loving the pink tint of his ears.
“Don’t listen to them.” He ducked behind his Coke and took a drink. “It wasn’t as funny as they’re making it out to be.”
“The best part was the dress,” Jessica said, and they dissolved into gales of laughter. “That thing was awful. It was orange, and then he had these pearls on.”
“Okay. Okay,” Luke said. “I think Sage has heard enough.”
“No.” She batted his hand away and turned for her new friends. “Single strand or double?”
“Those long ones,” Ashlyn said. “You know the ones you loop and loop around your neck. He was so cute!”
Their laugher joined with the happiness of those around the campfire, and Sage smiled. It was nice to finally be a part of the party.
“Oh, great.” Luke ducked behind his Coke an hour later and tipped his head to Sage.
“What?” she asked, concerned but wholly unsure why.
He lifted his eyes and nodded to the other side of the fire, and with one glance, she completely understood. The red pickup had joined the others on the edge of the ditch, and up the road came none other than Rory Harris and Jaycee Lawrence. His arm was around her shoulders, and with one look, Sage knew the show was about to start. From each side of them, they greeted their worshippers.
“Ugh. Did I look that nauseating?” Sage asked him, tipping her own head. Their friends had drifted off, so it wasn’t like they needed to hide their conversation, but they did so anyway. “He is a disgusting human being.”
Luke appraised her. “That’s exactly what I’ve been saying my whole entire life.”
She smiled up at him. “Well, clearly you have good taste.”
Turning to her, he set the can on the ground, put his back to the others and lifted his chin. “What do you say we just have fun tonight together? Forget them.” He took her drink and set it with his. Then gently he put his hands at her waist and push-started the two of them dancing under the moonlight.
“You know.” She put her wrists up and around his neck, “I think that’s a great idea.”
He laid his head against hers. “I thought so, too.”
However, it wasn’t long and the noise of the others cracked through their bubble of happiness and peace, and Luke reluctantly picked his head up to glance over to the other side of the fire. Sure enough, Rory and Jaycee were right there, framed by the crowd. It wasn’t so much the sight of them as the look on Jaycee’s face that stopped his body cold. She looked… frightened.
When he stopped swaying, Sage did too, and she looked up at him in confusion. Then her gaze traced with his across the fire to the scene now dancing in the flickering light beyond. Jaycee stood there, Rory’s arm nearly encircling her neck. He said something and the knot of people around them laughed. The look of trying to think it was funny as she tried not to cry crossed Jaycee’s face, and Luke knew she wasn’t at all comfortable with this little sideshow.
He was completely unprepared, however, for Sage coming right out of his arms and starting that direction. “Sage!” Luke barely snagged her trajectory. “What are you doing?”
Fury bled through her as Sage spun to face Luke. “Look, I don’t care what she’s done, Jaycee is my sister, and I’m not about to let him treat her like that.”
Panic flooded Luke, and he tilted his head, trying to get her to be reasonable. “Sage…”
However, she didn’t even let him get it out. “No. Luke. No. Jaycee is my sister, and whether she likes it or not, she’s in my pasture.”
His eyebrows hiked. “Your pasture? What does that mean?”
Just then another whoop went up from the crowd, and when Sage turned, no protests Luke could come up with would’ve stopped her. “Now let go!” She shook out of his hold and let the anger infuse every molecule of her being deeper and deeper with every step she took. On the other side of the fire, right in front of them, she stopped and planted her hands on her hips. “Let her go, Rory.”
“Sage,” Jaycee said plaintively pleading for her not to get involved.
But Sage simply raised her eyebrows as if in warning. “I said, ‘Let my sister GO!’”
“Oh, yeah? And what’re you going to do about it?” Rory asked, his face contorting into an evil, sadistic laugh.
“You wanna know?” With a nod, she took a step toward him, and every single person there took a full step back. “You see this?” From her pocket she pulled out her cell phone and held it up.
“Your phone? What’re you going to do, call Mommy and Daddy?” he retorted. “Oh, I’m so scared.”
She took another step toward him, and everyone else had now backed so far away he didn’t even have to worry about tripping on anyone when he backed up.
“Sage,” Jaycee said again, her eyes worried, her face full of fear. “This…”
“Nine,” Sage said, her gaze only on his as she pressed the button. “Let her go, Rory.”
“Nine?” he asked with a laugh.
“One.” She narrowed her eyes so that he knew she meant business. “Harassment? Assault? Drinking and driving? Underage drinking? Wonder where they’ll start with the charges.”
Understanding and horror met right in the middle of his face, and he blanched. “The cops?”
A gasp went across the crowd.
Resolve drained through her as she dared him to keep playing chicken. “What’s it gonna be, Loverboy? Let her go, or I will press one.”
The next second expanded to an eternity, and then Rory spitefully yanked his arm from her and pushed Jaycee from his side. With one hand still on the phone, Sage took hold of Jaycee and pulled her behind her toward Luke. “Good choice.” However, she never dropped the gravity of her gaze. “Don’t you ever come near her again, or I will bury you, and that’s a promise.” With that, she spun on her heel. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
With Jaycee under the protection of his arm, they went in tandem through the crowd to his car. Luke’s mind was spinning with disparate pieces of what had just happened. He’d never seen Sage like that, and he was 100 percent convinced she would’ve hit one as easily as not.
“Here, Jayc,” Sage said when they got to his car. “You get in front. I’ll get in back.”
“Sage?” Jaycee asked, clearly shell-shocked.
“No. It’s okay.” At the car when Luke let go of Jaycee, Sage enfolded her in her arms for one second before pulling the seat forward and getting in. “I’m fine back here.”
Luke had so many words jumbling in his head, he had no idea where to start with them all. So he chose to simply get in next to Jaycee and drive to their parents’ house. However, when they got there, he had no idea what to do next. “Uh, …?”
“I can…” Jaycee started.
“Luke, why don’t you go in with her?” Sage asked quickly from the back. “Make sure she gets in okay and that somebody knows she’s okay.”
He had no idea how to accomplish all of that, but he nodded just the same, got out and opened Jaycee’s door.
“Are you… are you coming?” Jaycee asked Sage when she got out, but Sage just got out, smiled softly and shook her head.
“You go on. They don’t want to see me.”
And then, as if moving in a dream, Jaycee stepped forward and put her arms around her sister. “Thank you.”
Sage smiled and patted her sister’s back. “Any time.”
“Jaycee?” her mother said when they entered the kitchen. Then her face fell even further. “And Luke? You’re home early.” There were more questions she didn’t voice.
“There was some trouble at the party.” Luke took her right in and then looked down at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Trouble? What kind of trouble? Jaycee, what happened? Are you okay?” Her mother was right there, checking every inch of her daughter.
“I’m fine, Mom.” She turned to Luke, her arms crossed, and it took her effort to get her gaze up to his. “Thank you.”
He said nothing, just mashed his lips together and nodded. “I’d better get back.”
She half-smiled and nodded. With that he started out but had only made it to the door.
“You need help tomorrow?” Jaycee called, and she sniffed.
Luke turned, took one look at her, standing there in the protective arms of her mother. “Sure. I always need help.”
Jaycee didn’t say more, but her eyes spoke of gratefulness and guilt. “K. I’ll be there.”
With that, Luke headed back out. He strode down the sidewalk to the car and in one motion he was inside. His emotions were zinging in so many directions, he could hardly decipher all of them.
“Is Jaycee okay?” Sage, who was now in the passenger seat, asked, and her concern was clearly no act.
“Yeah. She’s okay.” He reached down and started the car before looking over at her. “You’re something else, you know that?”
For the first time since she’d headed into battle at the bonfire, she looked slightly less than unstoppable. “So I’ve heard.”
He drank her in even as he headed back out to the road. “That took guts.”
“Or stupidity. I’m not sure which.”
“Were you really going to call the cops?”
She let out a long sigh. “If he hadn’t let her go, yeah. I would have.”
“I thought so.” Luke nodded slowly. “Remind me never to cross you.”
Her smile held a challenge. “I think you’re safe.”
He was glad of that.
At the preacher’s house, Sage said goodnight to him with an “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bright and early to peel potatoes.” He pointed at her as he got back to his car. “And don’t be late.”
“How late can I be? It’s right across the parking lot.” She laughed, having never looked forward to manual labor so much in her life.
All night Luke had prayed for both of them. He couldn’t shake the look in Jaycee’s eyes when he had left their kitchen. She had been far more shaken than he had at first believed. Somehow Sage knew that and despite everything that said she should just mind her own business, she had gone charging in like the only armed knight in a jousting match. “Dear Lord, we both know the deck is stacked against Sage here, and as mad as I am at Jayce, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like Rory was treating her. Please help her to see that, and help both of them to just know You love them. Amen.”
“Father,” Sage said, far more solidly as she applied a light layer of make-up the next morning at her mirror, “forgive them. They don’t know what they do. Forgive and help Jaycee see that this is not a competition. I don’t want to beat her. I just want to get to know her, to see if I can be a sister. Be with Ryder.” His name always brought a smile to her face. “Protect him from all of this stuff. And for Dad and Em, just for peace, God. For peace for both of them.”
“Okay, troops,” Mrs. P said as they stood in the kitchen. “I need potato peelers.” She eyed Sage on one side and Jaycee on the other. “Mrs. Mitchell, will you help Sage?”
“I’d be happy to.”
Sage breathed a huge sigh of relief. She had spent her ten minutes since arriving diligently avoiding her stepsister.
“Luke, you and the pastor can cut up this here ham, and Jaycee, you can open the green beans and get them in the pots.”
“We’re on it,” Luke said, and with that, they all went to their own stations.
The potato peelers turned out to be small shiny instruments that Sage was smart enough to watch Jane use first. Knowing she was going to be hopelessly bad at this, she picked up a potato and ran the silver thing over it. It wasn’t nearly as easy as it looked. Down the potato. Down the potato. Down the…
Mrs. Mitchell already had three of them done.
“What’re we supposed to do with the bones?” the pastor asked, holding up a large bone, pink still clinging to it.
“Oh, we’re gonna save those,” Mrs. P said. “They make excellent soup bones. That’s what my family survived on when I was little. That and rock soup.”
“Rock soup?” Luke asked. “That sounds awful.”
Mrs. P let out a raucous laugh. “That it was, my boy. That it was. My mama would put a few vegetables in a pot and then go out and get the biggest rock she could find, wash it off, and put it right there in the pot with them vegetables and cook it. When it was done, she took out the rock and fed all of us kids. It wasn’t much more than glorified water, but Mama swore the rock gave it minerals and stuff we needed. Yep, I sure enough ate my share of rock soup growing up.”
Sage was torn between fighting to peel and trying to imagine eating rock soup. Somehow she had never considered that people would do such a thing to feed their children.
“Is that why you help out here?” Jaycee asked, dumping another can of green beans into a pot.
Mrs. P smiled a tight, sad smile. “Well, I guess I’m a little like St. Paul. I know what it’s like to have a little and I know what it’s like to have a lot. The Lord’s taught me good lessons in both places.”
“Like what?” Luke asked, and Sage leaned back so as not to miss a word.
“Well, that folks is folks no matter where you go, what you have or don’t. Some folks is nice. Some folks would rather tear you down than offer a hand to help you up. But the key ain’t never them. It’s you. If you can be at peace with the nice ones and with the nasty ones, if you can keep your eyes on Him instead of on who’s doing what to who.” She stopped chopping and pointed upward with her knife. “Then it really don’t matter what the people you’re around are like, you can weather it.”
The kitchen grew quiet as if God Himself had just entered their midst.
“God ain’t a God of circumstance. Isn’t that right, Pastor? He’s a God of personal, getting right down there in the rock soup with you if you let Him. He wants to because He knows you be a different person when you let Him in. You be kinder and gentler, and you stop listening to all those people trying to make you sit down and shut up about Him and what He’s done for you. For me, I’ve seen what God can do. I’ve seen my mama a-readin’ her Bible even when she didn’t know what them words meant. She read it because she believed God was a-talkin’ to her when she did. And He got us through some mighty big scrapes when I was growing up too.
“So, doin’ this, feedin’ other people because of all the good God’s done in my life, it ain’t charity. It’s gratitude. I’m grateful for what God’s done in my life, and I want to pass that good on. I love them because God loved me first. What’d you say that time about overflow?” she asked the pastor.
“We give from the overflow of what God’s doing in our lives,” the pastor said, slowly cutting the slices of ham.
“That’s right.” She pointed the knife at him. “You give out of the overflow, and what I’ve found is when I let Him pour some blessings on me—like being here with you all—then I’ve got more than enough to give out to other folks. It ain’t hard. It’s just doing for others what God’s already done for me.” Stopping, she shook her head. “Ah, now listen to me, a-goin’ on. What’s an old woman like me even talking about such things like I know what life’s all about?”
Jane scoffed. “You’re not old, Mrs. P.”
“No.”
“Not at all.”
“Of course not.”
Sniffing back the emotion in her eyes, Sage smiled. “You’re not old, Mrs. P. You’re vintage.”
The smile that came to the woman’s face lit up the whole room. “Vintage?” She let out a whoop of laughter. “Now, I like that, Miss Sage.” Squaring her shoulders, she threw them backward. “I’m gonna have to tell Mr. P that one. We ain’t old, Mr. P. We’re vintage.” And she let out another laugh, one that made Sage’s heart soar for the happiness in it.
For some reason, Sage’s heart glued to Mrs. P’s happiness and stuck there the rest of the day. One word, that’s all it took to put a smile on her face and a joy in her spirit that never dimmed. One word. And Sage remembered all Mrs. P had said as well. Could it be that she was the key? Could it be that no matter what the others were doing, it was her that determined what happened in the situation? Could keeping her eyes on God and what He had given her give her the space to let go of what the others did to her? Forgive them, Lord. For they don’t know what they do. And show me how to let the love and blessings You’ve given me be used to love others. Help me do that.
With the potatoes peeled, she worked with Luke to get them all into the pots before helping to set up the line. Focus on Him. God’s blessings. All He had given her. As Sage looked around, she couldn’t help but count them. The pastor and Jane, Luke, Mrs. P. Even Jaycee who didn’t seem to have the edge of ice on her today. Yes, Sage was grateful for them all.
And so when the people started showing up at noon, and the pastor thanked God for the bounty of His love, they weren’t just words anymore. She felt them digging down into her spirit, into her being, so much so that when she lifted her head, she felt different.
“Good afternoon,” she said to the first man in line as she gave him the ham with a sincere smile. “It sure is a nice day, isn’t it?”
“That it is, Missus. That it is.”
“Well, hi there,” she said to the next one, putting the ham onto his plate. “We’re so glad you came to join us today.”
“Thank you so much, Ma’am. Thank you.”
It was all Sage could do to hold back the tears. They were thanking her. She hadn’t cooked all of this. She was just handing it out, and yet she was getting the thanks.
“You need any help?” Luke asked, appearing at her shoulder, his hands on his beltline as he surveyed the line.
The smile she beamed up at him could’ve been no brighter. “I think I’ve got this.” Then she turned to the woman who came up next. “Ham?”
“Why, yes. Thank you.”
Thank you. Why had she never heard those words quite the same way before?
She should have been bone tired by the time 2 o’clock rolled around, and yet it was like she had found a whole reservoir of energy. “Last of the green beans coming through.” Sage set the pot on the stove and stepped back. “What do you want me to do with these, Mrs. P?”
The woman came over and examined the leftovers. “Why don’t you scoop them out and put them in these bags, Miss Sage? That way we can take them home and use them in the ham bone soup.”
Lifting her eyebrow, Sage smiled with a challenge. “No rock soup tonight?”
Mrs. P let out a hearty laugh. “Not tonight, baby doll. Not tonight!”
Luke couldn’t help but be amazed at how happy Sage seemed. No longer was she hiding out, trying to get out of the tough assignments. No, she was right in the middle of everything. As he worked on the dishes, his only wish was that she would come over and help him, not because he needed the help but because he so wanted to be near her.
“What’s next?” she asked Mrs. P when the four bags of green beans were stacked neatly on the counter.
“Well, Luke could use some help.”
He shook his head at her wording, knowing that wasn’t going to go un-commented upon.
Sage rolled her sweet eyes. “Tell me about it. Luke could always use some help.”
Mrs. P laughed. “Truer words were never spoken, child.”
With a laugh of her own, Sage crossed the kitchen to his side where she leaned on the sink on her elbows. “Mrs. P and I agree, you need help.”
Looking down at her, he corkscrewed his face. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yep, and Mrs. P knows everything about everything.”
Like he was going to argue with that. “Well, you know where the dish towels are. Get to work, woman.”
She flounced over to the drawer and lifted her shoulder. “Since you asked so nicely.”
When they walked out at a quarter-to-four, Luke took her hand to walk with her over to the pastor’s house. Jaycee had already left, and Sage felt badly about that. It was like her sister didn’t know how to be around them. Not that Sage blamed her for that. She didn’t know how to be around her sister either. But at least no spaghetti sauce had been spilled. Maybe the best it would ever be with them was just staying out of each other’s way, but even that was better than things had been before.
“So, ham soup with green beans,” Luke said as they walked, letting their hands swing in the sunshine between them.
“Mmmm.” Sage lifted her eyebrows. “Not sure I want more ham after today, but it sounds a lot better than rock soup.”
“No kidding.” He took three more steps. “You know, sometimes I get down about life, sometimes I think it’s being really unfair about things, but then I hear that, and I think, ‘What do I have to complain about?’”
“I know.” Her spirit dropped deeper into the thoughts she’d been thinking all day. “Mrs. P is awesome. She’s so happy all the time, and then to find out she survived that. It makes me think about all I’ve got and how I’ve wasted it, complaining and whining because I didn’t have more.”
At the pastor’s house, they sat down on the outside steps, neither ready to go inside just yet.
“Jaycee was sure quiet today,” Luke said, putting his hand behind her on the step rather than around her.
“I know. I hope she doesn’t hate me for last night.”
“Hate you?” His gaze jumped over to her. “I don’t think that’s why she was quiet.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?”
He thought about it a minute. “Well, I know Jaycee, and she’s pretty independent. I think she’s grateful, but she doesn’t know how to be. It’s like she doesn’t know what to say, so she doesn’t say anything at all.”
Sage considered that. “Isn’t it weird how much we misjudge each other? I mean, like Jaycee. I thought she was the meanest person on earth for the longest time. Now, I think she’s just hurting and I feel bad for her.”
Leaning forward, he put his hands together as his elbows rested on his knees. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure?”
“Last night, you said Jaycee was in your pasture. What’d you mean by that?”
Her laugh was soft. “Just what Pastor Steve was saying about the sheep God’s put in our pasture for us to be responsible for. I’m starting to realize that my life isn’t just about me.” She copied him, putting her elbows on her knees. “It’s like Mrs. P said today, ‘You’re the key. Not them.’ I was always so worried about what everyone else thought about me, I never really bothered to think that I could maybe make a difference to them in their lives.”
“My mom loves the room. She’s been telling everyone who will listen about it.”
That touched Sage’s heart. “It was fun, doing that for her. Like the end tables for the Mitchells. I think they’re going to love them. Which reminds me are we working on them tomorrow?”
“Oh. No can do. Mom’s got Alyssa for the weekend, and we’re all going over to Grandma’s. In fact, she told me this morning to make sure you were coming.”
Sage twisted her face. “She did not.”
“Did too.” He quirked his gaze at her. “I think she’s falling in love with you. Not that I blame her or anything. You’re pretty irresistible when you want to be.” Leaning over, he planted a quick kiss on her cheek that made Sage blush all the way down to her toes. “So, what do you say? Ham soup tonight, Grandma’s chicken tomorrow?”
“Sounds heavenly.”