Chapter 39
The second her father showed up, Jaycee vacated the den and headed to the living room. Sage was in tears, and she had no idea how to fix that. She hoped her dad would. It was strange how just last week, she would have gladly sent her stepsister back with a one-way ticket, but now… now, she was beginning to think that Sage had never been the put-together pristine princess she had made her out to be when she’d arrived.
Taking out her cell phone, she knew someone who would want to know, and she typed in a quick message and hit SEND. She didn’t know what to do, but she had a suspicion that Luke would. The craziest thing was how her heart felt when she thought about him now. He was a good guy, good for her sister. A stand-up guy who did the right thing even when his best friend was being a lunatic about everything.
He had forgiven her just for the asking, and Jaycee vowed right then that if they needed her, she would do whatever it took to be there for them. They were right together, and she smiled softly at that. “Luke, Sage needs you,” Jaycee whispered. “Please don’t bail on her now.”
“What happened?” Her father sat carefully on the couch between Sage and his wife, looking at her like she was fragile glass that might shatter at any moment.
“I…” Sage dipped her gaze to keep it from his. “Patelyn texted me that Mom’s been in California all summer. ‘Course Pate didn’t know I didn’t know that.” She sniffed a laugh. “What should I expect, right? Mom lies to everyone else. Why should I think I was any different?”
His eyes never lost the concern. “She’s in Pasadena?”
Sage nodded. “With Aunt Anna. Pate said her mom saw her talking to a lawyer. I guess you were right. They are getting a divorce.”
Her father glanced back at his wife. “We were hoping it wouldn’t come to that.”
However, Sage shrugged. “Crazy thing is, I’ve been begging her to leave him for years. Now that she is…” She turned her head because the tears were getting harder and harder to hold back. With a sniff, she determinedly brought her head back around, refusing to lose it even now. “I don’t think they went to Europe either. Nice, huh? She lied to you guys. She lied to me. She lied to everybody.”
“Sage…” her father said.
“No.” Pulling her eyes up to his, she put on her smiley face. “I’m okay. Really I am.”
“But you’re not,” her stepmother said. “Sage, this would be hard for anybody…”
“I just don’t want you to think I can’t…” Sage’s bravado failed for one second, and she crushed back the tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about ruining your summer. I’m sorry about coming. I’m sorry about everything.” With tears lacing her lashes, she looked up at them. “I know Mom put you guys in a really bad place. I guess I never thought about what it would be like for you if I came here.” She lifted her eyebrows. “I didn’t think about a lot of things back then.” This sniff was harder, harsher, more heart-cracking. “I know what you said, what the pastor and Jane said about me staying, but I don’t want to make it harder on you, any of you.”
“Sage,” both of them said at the same time.
Her father tipped his head to look into her eyes. “You’re not making it harder on us. Yes, we’ve had some things to work out and work through, but that wasn’t your fault.”
“But if I’d never come. If I wasn’t here…”
“Those things would still be here because of us,” he said. “Not because of you.”
She put her elbow on the back of the couch and her fingers to her hair. “I just don’t want to be in everybody’s way.”
“You’re not…” her stepmother started and then stopped when they both looked at her. For a second, she dropped her gaze and then dragged it back up again. “Look, Sage, I know I haven’t been very kind to you. Fact, the truth is, I’ve been a lot like the evil stepmother to be really honest. I guess I just thought you were judging me, so I had the right to judge you.”
“But I wasn’t judging you,” Sage said, her gaze coming up. “At least I didn’t think I was. Maybe I was.” Her eyes fell. “I just… I thought… I don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” her father said. “I think all of us have been spinning in I don’t know. I know I have.” He looked back at his wife who nodded. “But the thing I do know is that I want to be here for you, Sage. I want to be your dad even though a lot of times, I feel like I don’t know how to do that. You’re so worldly and grown up. What do you even need me for? It’s like I missed the time I could actually be useful, if I ever could have.”
These tears were wistful. “I never really had a dad.” She shrugged. “I had Jason, but with him I was so much better out-of-sight-out-of-mind. He didn’t care who I went out with or who I was going with or where I was going. He was just glad I was leaving. I knew that, so I made it a point to be anywhere but home.” She laughed a short, sarcastic little laugh. “It was so much better when I was Sage Hollywood, out on the town and out of everyone’s way. I hated going home.”
Sniffing, she pursed her lips together. “I never told anybody that. But I did. I hated being at home. I hated going back home at night after I’d been out. I never knew what I was going to find.” She nodded slowly. “And I couldn’t tell anybody because they all thought I lived this perfect, wonderful, glamorous life in this beautiful mansion up on the hill.” Even the tears dried then. “But it was all a lie. A lie I hated with everything in me. But I didn’t know how to get out of it. And then I got shipped out here, and I thought things would be different. One small, little part of me actually hoped things would be different, and it was, I guess. At home the hate was silent. Here, not so much.”
“Oh, Sage,” her stepmother said. “I’m so sorry.”
“No,” Sage said quickly, realizing what she had just said. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“You know,” her father said, “that’s what Luke was saying, wasn’t it?”
Sage looked up. “What?”
Her father shook his head. “That. That whole trying to talk someone out of saying the truth about things. Maybe it’s time we stop tip-toeing around this and meet it head-on.”
Sage recoiled at the idea. That sounded like a good way to get smashed. “Oh, I don’t think…”
“Are you sure about that?” Emily asked even over her stepdaughter’s protest.
“Look,” he said, “the truth is, I love you both. I do. Differently, yes. But with all my heart. Just like I love Jaycee and Ryder. I’m not sure how to fix this, but what I want more than anything is for us to be a family. A real family. Yes, a family who is going to make mistakes and get things wrong, but a family who works things out together and is honest with each other and above everything else, loves each other so much that we’d be willing to fight the world to the death to protect each other if need be.” He turned and looked at his wife. “That’s what I want more than anything, but I can’t do that alone. I can’t fix this alone.” His gaze went back to Sage. “And we sure can’t fix it if we’re not brave enough to be honest with each other.
“Now, I’m no Pastor Steve, but I do know the truth is not always pretty and it’s not going to be easy to say or to hear, but we need to be honest with each other about this stuff. We need to know where we are with things. We need to be on the same page with things, and that’s impossible to know and be if we’re not at the base of things really honest with each other.”
As she sat there, Sage swallowed down the fear because it was threatening to drown her in its depths. However, she knew her father was right. They couldn’t fix it if they didn’t have all the pieces. She opened her eyes and let out a long breath. “I don’t want to go to Pasadena.”
He smiled at her and took a breath. “I think that’s a good place to start.”
Their living room was looking like a Bible study meet-up when they came out. Jane and Pastor Steve were both there as was Luke. Her father had his arm around Sage who was still battling the tears but was at least better now.
“Oh. Pastor,” her father said in surprise, and he stepped over to shake the man’s hand.
Jane took one look at Sage and stepped forward to wrap her arms around her. “Are you okay? Jaycee called us and told us what happened.”
“She did?” Sage’s eyes went wide as she looked over to her sister who put her hands in her back pockets as if in fear she was about to get reamed.
“I thought they should know.”
Sage smiled at her sister. “Thank you.” And she tightened her hold on Jane. “Thank you for coming.”
Taking one step back, Jane put her hands on Sage’s face. “Are you okay?”
A small nod and Sage sighed. “Getting there.”
Surprisingly Emily suggested they all stay for supper, and one-by-one they agreed. It was when the others had gone into the kitchen that Sage and Luke met in the middle of the living room. Her head was down, and he knew why. Gently he put his arms around her and simply held her there. There were no words, so he didn’t try to complicate the moment with them. Instead, he only sent up a few silent ones drifting to Heaven from his heart for her, and he hoped that was enough.
“Jaycee,” their father said at the conclusion of the meal, “why don’t you take Ryder in and watch some baseball? I think the Sox are playing tonight.”
A second and her sister nodded. “Okay.”
With that, her siblings vacated the table. It took a solid ten seconds before anyone said anything.
“Pastor,” her father finally started, “we will be forever grateful to you and Jane for taking Sage in like you did.”
“It was our pleasure,” Jane said with a smile at Sage.
“While I’m not sure of a lot of things right now, what I do know is that Sage belongs out here with us, not up town with you all.” He paused to let that sink in, and when he looked over at Emily, her short smile and the acceptance that traced through her eyes spurred him to continue. “I also think that Pasadena is not where she should be.” With those words, he looked right at Sage who huddled into Luke’s protective embrace. “So tomorrow I’m going to call her mom, and we’re going to work out how she can stay here at least for her senior year because that’s what she wants.”
With a soft smile, Sage nodded, and Luke leaned over and kissed her hair.
“Now I know, I’ve gotten a lot of things wrong in this mess,” her father continued and he dipped his head. “A lot of things. But right here, right now, I’m promising you all that things are going to change.” He sat forward, dragging his hand out of Emily’s and folding it with his other. “But the truth is, I’m going to need your help with this one.” His gaze swept the table. “All of you. I’m going to need you to be honest with me and to hold me accountable because I have this bad habit of running when things get tough.” He sat back and put his hand on Emily’s. “In fact, I think that’s what started this whole thing in the first place.”
Letting out a long breath, he nodded. “We’re here, and how we got here isn’t nearly as important as what we decide to do from here on out.”
Just behind him, Jaycee appeared in the doorway, and he swung his attention that way. With a smile, he reached back for her hand and drew her around and onto his lap. “The truth is, I have two daughters and one son who I love more than I ever realized was possible.” His gaze came over and held on Sage. “And they all deserve to have a father.” Then he glanced at Emily. “And I have a wife who challenges me and loves me even though, honestly, I don’t deserve her love.” A swallow and a nod, and he looked around at all of them. “I guess what I’m just trying to say is that I’m sorry to all of you about the mistakes I’ve made, and from now on, I’m going to try to do better.”
Pastor Steve nodded. “I think that’s a really good place to start.”
Luke agreed to take Sage to get her things from the pastor’s house, and as they drove back to town, he looked over at her. “How’re you doing?” Most of the time he could at least get a quick read of her. Tonight, she just looked exhausted.
“I don’t know.” She had her head back on the headrest, and she didn’t move it. “What if going back is a bad idea? What if it’s like it was before?”
“Do you think it will be?”
“I’m not sure what to think anymore. Every time I think I know what to think it turns out completely wrong.”
Gently he reached over, took her hand and kissed it. “Everything?”
That made her smile a little bit. “Okay. Not everything.” She sighed. “What do you think?”
He considered how to answer that. “Jaycee was really worried about you.” When she didn’t answer, he glanced at her. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her that worried before. She texted me, you know, and then she called when I didn’t answer right away.”
“Why didn’t you answer?”
“’Cause I was on top of a tin roof in August, answering texts wasn’t exactly on my most important things to do list at that moment. But after the thing rang like six times in two minutes, I gave up thinking it was nothing.” Flitting his gaze her direction, he smiled. “I’m glad I did.”
“Me too.”
They pulled up to the pastor’s house, and sadness cloaked her eyes. “Is it crazy that I’m going to miss this place?”
Luke smiled. “No, but something tells me you can always come back if you need to.”
Sage nodded slowly. “I’m lucky, huh?”
“That you are.” He shut off the car and got out to go get her. “Let’s go get you moved back home where you belong.”
Taking her hand so she wouldn’t run like it looked like she wanted to, Luke led her up the steps and into the house without bothering to ring the doorbell. Once inside, he called, “Knock. Knock.” Just so they would know someone had come in.
“Are you sure?” Pastor Steve came out of his office, reading glasses on, and cell phone at his ear. He looked at them with something of a scowl, stopping them both in one step.
Luke looked down at her, and Sage let her eyes go wide with undisguised panic.
“Okay. Yeah. Okay.” He looked at them again. “I’ll tell them. Thanks, Mac.” With that, he beeped off the phone and stood there for a second before he shook his head. “Well, that was an interesting phone call.”
Neither one moved for fear of breaking the next bad thing that hovered over them free.
“Remember those envelopes on Sunday?” Pastor Steve asked Luke who nodded slowly. Then his gaze slid to Sage, and he let out a small, disbelieving laugh. “All those envelopes?”
“Yyyyeah?” Luke asked in concern. “What about them?”
“Well, it looks like we took in enough to get a brand new refrigerator and maybe even do some upgrades to the line warmers.”
“What?” That sent Luke backward. “How?”
“Well,” the pastor said and then his face broke into a wide grin, “it seems that someone has been doing some inspiring these days.” He grinned at Sage who looked completely bewildered.
“I didn’t do anything,” she replied weakly.
However, Luke’s gaze followed his grin. “I think you might be wrong about that, darlin’.”
“I can’t believe it,” Sage said when they headed back to the Lawrences’. “I thought for sure we were going to be doing bake sales until Jesus came back again to pay for that thing.”
“You and me both.” Luke lifted her hand and kissed it. “I always knew you were amazing.”
Her spirit dipped. “I feel bad for Jane and the pastor though. They were so nice to me.”
Luke nodded. “Well, maybe God’s got something good in store for them too.”
“I sure hope so.”
“Me too.”
Back at her home, her dad met them at the back door to help carry her three bags back inside. No one mentioned the heap of clothes still piled in the middle of the bed, and Sage was glad for that.
“Um, Sage,” her dad said, “if you have a minute…”
“Oh.” She glanced up at Luke. “Sure.”
“Don’t mind me,” Luke said. “I was needing to get home anyway. Gotta be up on that roof before the sun comes up tomorrow, or I’m gonna fry.”
Before she could think for him to do otherwise, Luke leaned down and gave her a peck. Then he snagged her gaze. “Let me know if you need anything.”
Never letting his eyes go, she nodded. “I will.”
And with that, he ducked past her dad and headed out.
When he was gone, she didn’t know what came next, or how to make the next minutes less awkward.
“Do you mind if we go outside for a few minutes?” her dad asked.
“Oh. Uh, no. That’s fine.”
He nodded and brushed his hand in front of him for her to exit first. Through the darkened kitchen and out to the porch they went.
“Uh, where?” she asked, turning just as her gaze snagged on the two little mismatched birdhouses sitting there.
“Here if you don’t mine,” he said, indicating the porch steps, and gracefully Sage lowered herself to the little wooden planks and waited for him to do the same.
The moon was already coming up over the field beyond, and she watched it, afraid to look over at him.
“I called your mom,” he finally said after a few seconds. “She feels terrible about what happened.”
Sage nodded, not wanting to let even a crack appear in the dam again.
“We talked, and she agreed that for now, it’s better if you stay out here with us.”
The nodding continued though it hurt more now. Torn. It was a great word for this feeling.
“Just so you know, your mom’s problems and choices were not your fault.” He pulled his foot up closer to him, making a scraping sound on the wood. “I know it’s hard to believe sometimes, but we adults don’t really have a lot of things together. We’re as lost as anyone. I know my leaving hurt your mom a lot. I know what I did wasn’t fair to her, and she was just trying to navigate a really tough situation.” His gaze slid out to the moon and then dropped back to his hands. “I never meant for this to happen, for you and her to get so hurt over my selfishness and stupidity. And then I think if it wasn’t for me going out there, I wouldn’t have you, and… well, that’s not a trade I’m willing to make either. And I know your mom feels the same way.”
Absorbing only, Sage listened.
“I realize it’s a long time coming, but if you’ll let me, I want to learn to be the dad I never was to you. I know that’s asking a lot, and that things haven’t gone real smoothly when we tried before, but if you’ll give me another chance, I’ll try to do it better this time around.”
She wanted to believe him. She just wasn’t sure about the rest of the family. “And Emily?”
He breathed that question down. “Emily is working through her own stuff, but we’ve talked a lot in the last few days, and she’s willing to work on being a family, you included. Not that we’re going to get everything right. Trust me, if I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that we’re not perfect, and we’re going to make our share of mistakes. But if you’re willing to help us, maybe we can find some space that we can all be okay with things.”
She nodded. It wasn’t everything, but it was a start. The question went through her mind and then over her heart three times before she got anything out. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Don’t mind at all. What’s the question?”
“Did you love her?” Her gaze traced across and over to him. “My mom, I mean? Did you love her when you were together?”
Instead of pulling it toward him, her dad let his foot go out, and it did that scraping thing again. “You know, I thought I did. Really and truly. Your mom…” He smiled and then shook his head. “She was a fascinating person.” He looked over at her. “A lot like you actually. She was super creative and just this free-spirit, imaginative, amazing young woman. I remember her showing me some of her work once, pottery and painting. She was like that, your mom, just artistic as all get-out.
“Of course, art doesn’t pay the bills, so she was working, and that’s where we met. I was taken with her about half-a-second after she said hello.” Shaking his head, he put his gaze on his shoes. “Truth is, I fell head-over-heels for her, and I was so amazed she actually liked me.” He let out a breath. “I knew it was wrong. Em and I were only separated at the time, but as bad as that sounds, I didn’t really care. I thought Ericka’s attention and affection proved I didn’t need Em, that I could be fine all on my own without her. That sounds terrible, I know, but that’s how I thought back then. I was hurt, and this was a way to hurt Em, to prove she didn’t own me.”
He put his head down. “I guess, when I really think about it, the answer to your question is no, I didn’t really love your mom. Not real love anyway. I know now that real love does what’s best for the other person, it doesn’t use the other person to make yourself feel better or for your own entertainment. Your mom was an awesome person, and she didn’t deserve what I did to her. None of you did. You. Your mom. Em. Jaycee. Even Ryder. You all deserved a whole lot better than me.”
Strangely, Sage knew exactly how he felt. “Mom loved you.” Sage nodded, as sure of the words as she was of anything else in her life. “She talked about you all the time when I was little, how handsome you were, how nice you were, how much she loved you.” Sitting forward, Sage put her wrists on her knees. “Then one day, she stopped talking about you, and I never really understood why. It wasn’t long, and she married Jason, and everything changed for all of us. She stopped doing art because it would make a mess, and Jason couldn’t stand for anyone to do that. We never went to the Pottery House again. Just stopped going. She traded out all of her funky clothes for business suits and silks, and all of my old clothes went in the dumpster.”
Her father looked over at her, and she managed a smile.
“She said everything would be better because Jason would take care of us now, but we both know how that turned out.” Sage let out a long breath. “For years, I dreamt about you, what you were like, that you were coming to get me, that you would show up looking for me.” She let her gaze go over to his and then dropped the connection. “Mom always said your home was more important than she was, and I guess I finally decided she was right. It was more important than me too.”
“I’m so sorry, Sage.”
“I know.” She nodded. “But you said about being honest.”
“I did.”
She nodded again. “That’s what I’m being… honest.”
It was almost midnight when they finally got up and went inside, and for the first time, the house didn’t feel vindictive and frightening anymore. Of that, she was imminently thankful.
Luke had just put in the last of the screws into the tin roof when his cell phone beeped in his pocket. Carefully he crawled down the ladder and jumped to the ground before he answered it. Sweating and feeling rather dehydrated, he put the phone to his ear and went over to the pickup to get some water.
“This is Luke. Talk to me.” At the pickup, he retrieved a cup and ran the water from the cooler, grateful for the drink as he leaned against the hot metal of the truck and swiped at his forehead.
“Luke. Oh, good. I’m glad I caught you. This is Pastor Steve. Listen. Mac found us a fridge, but we’re going to have to get his out of here first. Do you have any time this afternoon or evening to help me?”
Squinting up at his just completed project, he let out a sigh. So much for getting to that special project after this one. “Sure thing, Pastor. When do you want me to come?”
“Just whenever you can. I think Mac’s going to pick this one up after work and drop the other one off.”
“So four?”
“Four sounds perfect.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Great. Thanks so much.”
“No problem.”
Not bothering to go home and change after inspecting the cattle shed from top-to-bottom, Luke met the pastor at just past four o’clock.
“Looks like you’ve been working,” Pastor Steve said.
“No rest for the weary.”
The pastor held out his hand, and Luke shook it. “Thanks for meeting me. Mac helped me last time, and between you, me, and that fence post over there, that’s not a job for a 70 year old man to be tackling.”
Luke smiled his agreement as he followed the pastor inside the community center and held the door, liking the rush of cool air that blasted him. Inside, the pastor found the lights and flipped them on.
“Has Mrs. P turned in the grocery list for Saturday yet?” Luke asked as they went over to the borrowed refrigerator. He knew enough to know why he had been summoned, and it wasn’t so the pastor could do all the work. Sitting down on his heels, he reached back and around the thing, realizing they were going to have to pull it out so he could get to the plug.
“Not yet. I figure I’ll have it by tomorrow. You mind getting the groceries?”
“Nah.” Standing, Luke opened the doors of the refrigerator to make sure nothing was going to shift when he repositioned it. “I’m sure Sage will come and help. It gives her a reason to shop.” He set his feet and took hold of the refrigerator, sliding it forward just enough to give him room between it and the wall.
“How is Sage?”
Luke tipped his head as he went digging for the cord again. “Far as I know okay. I texted her this morning, and she said they hadn’t thrown her out yet.” Finally, he got a hand on the thing and yanked it from the wall.
“I sure hope all of that works out. I sure have been doing a lot of praying over it.”
Hopping back to his feet, Luke nodded. “Me too.” He shook his head with a grin as he retrieved the dolly from near the door. “You know, that was some sermon on Sunday. I didn’t take you for the fearless sort.”
Pastor Steve laughed and rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Believe me, that was not my idea.” He stepped forward to help with the awkward appliance as Luke got the dolly under it and tipped it backward.
“Oh, yeah? Then whose was it?” Carefully, he angled the thing into the walking space between the other appliances and the counter.
“God’s. And trust me, I did everything I could think of to talk Him out of it.”
That snapped Luke’s gaze over to the pastor who looked positively stunned. “I don’t think I’m getting you.”
The pastor laughed. “I wasn’t getting me either.” At the door, they let the thing down carefully. There was no use to go out and stand in the hot sun if they didn’t have to. “For three days I argued about not wanting to give that. I kept telling Him that wasn’t a good idea, people knew too much, people were going to talk more than normal if I did that.”
Luke leaned on the stove and crossed his arms and ankles. “Wait. You actually argued with God?”
Across the walkway, the pastor pulled himself up to the counter and sat down. “I did.” He nodded. “Not a very pastorly thing to do, huh?”
Not sure how to not agree with that, Luke tipped his head. “So why didn’t you just do it on something else?”
At that the pastor leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his head down. “Believe me, I wanted to, but every time I tried to come up with something different, nothing came. I mean nothing. Like dry ice in a black hole. My mind would just go completely blank. I think I finished that one about four a.m. on Sunday, and even when I got up there, I still didn’t want to give it. I didn’t want to say those words. There were too many I knew were going to hit people square where they were.” He laughed. “Half of them hit me like that, and I wrote the thing.” His gaze came up, and there was an apology in it. “And I knew how Sage would probably hear it too. I knew she didn’t need beaten down any more than she already was, and to stand up there and talk about forgiveness after what she’s been through…” Shaking his head, he sat back. “I felt like Satan himself accusing her.”
“But it wasn’t about her.”
“Maybe not.” Pastor Steve rubbed his hands together. “But I can never be sure what people are going to take away from one, and that one was about as hard-hitting as any one I’ve ever given. It gave me some sleepless nights even after I gave it.”
“Seriously?” Strange how Luke had never considered this side of all the words he’d heard in church. He’d never considered the pastor wrestling with God until the early morning hours about what he was going to say and how to say it.
“Seriously.”
The door came open with a snap, and both of them jerked toward it.
“Well, looks like you fellas have been busy,” Mac said as they jumped back into action. He swung the doors open and made them stay that way. “What do you say you come say hello to your brand new refrigerator?”
When Luke stepped out, he couldn’t stop the smile. He only wished she could be here to share in this moment.
“Oh, wow,” the pastor said. “Looks mighty fine to me. How about you, Luke?”
“I don’t think we’re going to have any trouble breaking this one in. Let’s get it down and into its new home.”
The whole day Sage had fought against holing up in her room. It wasn’t easy, but she had accomplished it. She, Jaycee, and Ryder had hung up the birdhouses—in two separate trees of course. Emily had gone into town afterward to take Ryder to swimming. That left the two girls to fill the afternoon, and after a short discussion about upcoming classes in the new school, Jaycee had suggested that Sage get the summer reading so she wouldn’t be completely behind when she started.
Summer reading turned out to be more challenging than Sage had thought, and with her only option her phone, she spent the rest of the afternoon hunkered down over it in the den. By five o’clock she needed a break because she could feel the pupils in her eyes, and she had the sneaking suspicion that wasn’t a good thing.
Blinking, she walked into the kitchen and found Jaycee at the refrigerator. “Peanut butter and jelly? I’m telling you,” Sage said, “anything sounds good right about now.” She reached up and swiped at her eyes that had commenced running in protest.
Jaycee laughed softly. “How’s the reading going?”
“Oh, fab. It would be nice, however, if they would tell me who is actually telling me this story.”
Coming to the counter with three round bricks of ground beef, Jaycee laughed again. “You should call Luke. Maybe he knows.”
Sage slumped against the sink. “I might have to. I sure wish someone had told me to start this in June. I can’t even tell how many pages it is because my dumb phone just says eight more hours. Eight more hours. Eight more hours.”
“Eight hours? Yikes.”
“Yeah, double yikes because I read for two and it only went down like 30 minutes.” She bent and rested her chin in her hands watching her sister. “Whatcha making?”
“Tacos. Mom’s not going to be home until six. She wanted me to start them.”
“Mmmm.” Sage remembered her last bout with taco meat at the community center. “I wonder what they’re serving for the meal this weekend. I sure hope it’s not ham again.”
“Or spaghetti,” Jaycee said, and her smile dragged out Sage’s.
Pulling on a strand of hair gently, Sage shrugged. “I can’t believe Mrs. P even let us back in that kitchen.”
“I can’t believe Luke got all that stuff off the walls.”
“No kidding. Sometimes I think he must be Spiderman or something.”
Jaycee hit the microwave buttons to send the thing whirling and turned to her sister. “So I guess you two are a thing then?”
That made Sage giggled, and she shrugged again. “I hope so. He sure is great. I just hope he’s not making a mistake going out with me.”
The comment made Jaycee mash her lips together with guilt and her gaze dropped to her shoes. A second and she lifted her head and brushed the hair from her eyes. “Not possible. You’re not a mistake.”
For the smallest of seconds, Sage thought she hadn’t heard correctly, and then she realized she had. Tears sprang to her eyes. “Are you sure about that?”
With a sad, sorrow-filled smile, Jaycee nodded. “Absolutely.”
“You should see this thing,” Luke said on Friday as he and Sage pulled up with the groceries for Bar-B-Que chicken, potato salad, pinto beans, and lettuce. “It’s huge. It has dual-temp, turbo air, and it’s on casters, so I don’t have to break my back to move the thing.”
“Where are you going to move it to?” Sage asked as she got out.
“Who cares? It moves.” He sounded so happy, she couldn’t not absorb his joy.
“It just too bad we don’t have lots to put in it this time. I was looking forward to seeing what it would really do.” Luke dragged five grocery bags out of the trunk, and she took three. At the door, he unlocked it and held it with his foot for her.
Once inside, he reached over and turned on the light to illuminate his new toy. “See, what I’m talking about?” He dropped the groceries to the counter and went over to the refrigerator where he hugged the thing. “Oh, I missed you.”
“Hello,” Sage called, “jealous girlfriend over here.” But she wasn’t mad because she knew he wasn’t serious. At least she hoped he wasn’t serious.
“I’ll be back, baby,” he said to the stainless steel appliance. “Don’t miss me too much.”
Sage shook her head. “You need therapy.”
“Actually, what I need is help. You do realize we’ve got to cook this chicken and start all these beans tonight, by ourselves, right?”
“Mrs. P isn’t coming in?”
“Nope. She’s in Greely. Her son’s daughter just had a baby.”
“Awww.”
“Yeah. Aww all you want, that still leaves us here to cook.” He bent down and retrieved a slow cooker. “She said to wash the beans and put them all in these.” Out came another one. “We’re supposed to cut up the jalapenos and put them in one, and leave the other two with just salt and pepper.”
Sage lifted her eyebrows. “And you know how to do all of this?”
“I was kinda hopin’ you did.”
She laughed a short laugh. “That’s funny. You’re so funny.”
“But first off, why don’t we get the rest of the groceries in? We can let these two things heat up.”
“Wish you would have told me to be practicing the weights. I’ve been reading on my phone all week.” Unloading the groceries on the counter, she sighed. “By the way, have you figured out who’s talking in that book Jaycee made me get? The one for the summer reading?”
It was at that moment that she realized he wasn’t moving, and she looked up. “What?”
His half-grin etched on his face. “Do you know how impossible it is going to be to think about class with you sitting right there with me? I am not going to get anything done.”
“Even less than usual?” she teased.
“Far less than usual.” He went back to work, filling the slow cookers with water.
“That’s not good. You do that, and they might send me home.”
Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Sage looked up at him in surprise and concern because she was the closest to the thing. “Who would that be?”
Luke picked up his hand to keep her where she was as he went over to the door and opened it.
“Oh, Luke, good. You’re here.” The little woman who looked like a strong wind would land her in Tennessee came in on Luke’s push carrying two bags filled to the brim.
Instantly he reached for them and took them. “Mrs. Ellis?” Luke asked. “What’s this?”
“Just some extras from my garden. I hoped you might use them tomorrow for your meal.”
Curiously, Sage peered over at the bags that were filled with green things and yellow things and red things.
“Bell peppers,” Luke said, pulling two of them out. “This will be perfect with the bar-b-que.
Mrs. Ellis smiled. “Oh, good. I was hoping you could use them.”
However, before she got that out, there was another knock on the door. Seeing Luke preoccupied with Mrs. Ellis, Sage went and opened it.
“Oh. Good. I was hoping someone was here. I saw the cars.”
What Sage saw were the grocery bags in the woman’s hands.
“We’re here. Can I help you?”
“I sure hope so. We’ve had a great year with our garden, and I had some extra cucumbers.” The lady came in, took one look at the others, and laughed. “Looks like I’m not the only one with the good idea. “Hi, Edna.”
“Why Frances,” Edna said. “Oh, don’t those cucumbers just look divine.”
Luke glanced over the two women’s heads at Sage who was fighting not to laugh at their chatter.
She had no more shrugged than another knock came at the door. With surprise plastered on her face, she went to it.
“Looks like you all are having a party,” the man in the cowboy hat boomed, and he came in without her doing one single thing more.
“Hey, Mac.” Luke came over to shake the man’s hand. “Looks like that refrigerator is going to be put to some good use.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Mac handed over the bags in his hands. “Were you needing help with the rest of those groceries out there?”
“Uh. Absolutely. We were just saying we’re going to be up here for a while. Mrs. P left us to make bar-b-que, beans, and potato salad. Not sure what she was thinking.”
“Oh, do you kids need some help?” Mrs. Ellis asked, keying in to Luke’s conversation. “I don’t mind washing out some beans if you need.”
“Oh, well, we wouldn’t…” Luke started.
“Uh, Luke.” Sage came up beside him and put her hand on his arm. “These nice ladies have offered to help us.” She raised her eyebrows at him. “Don’t you think it would be rude to not be grateful about that?”
It took him a minute, and then he smiled. “You know what, Sage here has a point. We would love some help if you all are interested.”
“You know,” Mac said, “I can call Connie. I’m sure she’d love to get out of the house. And her potato salad is to die for.”
“That is true,” Mrs. Ellis said. “She makes it for every Ladies meeting we have.”
Luke looked stunned and finally he shrugged. “Then call Connie. We’d love to have all the help we can get.”
He’d had no idea what he’d done. Sage was sure of that an hour later when the two of them could hardly find each other in the large kitchen. Around the counter, stood a row of women, some cutting up vegetables that somehow just kept showing up, others putting the chicken into pans to cook. Mac and Luke seemed to be everywhere at once, supervising the beans and the potatoes that were now cooking in the big pots along the wall.
“You run a pretty tight kitchen,” Mac said, putting his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I worked in the Navy mess for years. I’m impressed.”
Just then the outside door swung open, and Pastor Steve stepped in from the sunshine followed by Jane. Seeing them all, he looked positively stunned.
“I thought we were cooking for tomorrow,” he said to Luke as Sage went and hugged Jane.
“We are,” Luke said, shaking his hand. “Looks like the community showed up to help.”
In all his time working the community meals, Luke had never seen so many people helping. They got finished in record time on Friday night, and Saturday morning, he showed up to find three people standing outside the back doors waiting for him. Even Mrs. P hadn’t shown up yet.
“I’m not sure what I can help with,” Lynn Collins said as Luke unlocked the door, “but you show me what to do, and I’ll get it done.”
“Me too,” Debbie Smith said.
“Um, I don’t know how much we can do before Mrs. P gets here.” Luke’s gaze snapped up to the arrival of yet another vehicle, and this one held his attention a bit longer. Knowing he couldn’t just stand there and wait, he let the others inside. “I do know the beans probably need stirred and the chicken will need to be reheated.”
“We’re on it,” Debbie said, and with that, they left him standing there watching as Jaycee got out on one side and Sage on the other. It was only then he thought he should have gone over and helped her out. Too late, she had stunned him immobile. He really hadn’t been kidding about getting no homework done with her around. She was still as gorgeous as the first day she’d stepped out of that car.
“What’re you standing around for?” Jaycee asked as they walked up. “Are we feeding people today or what?”
“Just need a hug to get me started,” he said, pulling Sage in. He let his eyes go closed to soak in her love. It always made him feel like anything was possible.
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,” Jaycee said. “Enough with the mushy stuff.” She clapped hard. “Let’s get a move on. We’ve got people to feed, people. Chop. Chop. Move it, people!”
Luke looked down at Sage. “She’s such a drill-sergeant.”
“Hey.” Sage hit him on the chest lightly. “That’s my sister you’re talking about. Watch what you say.”
He smiled at her. “Yes, Ma’am.”
They worked all day, making, filling, refilling, and cleaning. Sage had never felt like she belonged anywhere so much in her life. Even when Luke or Jaycee asked for her help with things like washing the potato salad warmers and the bar-be-que that smelled wonderful but was a really big pain to clean, she laughed right along with them at the jobs they were asked to do.
She most loved her time on the line, helping to fill plates and carry cups. The people were so nice, treating her as if she was an angel just for taking a little time out to feed them. Mrs. P’s rock soup comment had never gone very far from her heart, and she knew it never would. These were people, and they deserved to be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity.
“Good job, Sage,” the pastor said as she stood filling more cups with ice and tea.
“Thanks. We’ve had quite a crowd today.”
He nodded. “And thanks to you lots of extra people to help with it.”
“Me?” Sage finished one cup and set it to the side. “What did I do?”
“That impromptu bake sale of yours seems to have spurred the whole church community to want to help. I don’t know how many people who have said they never considered helping until they saw you out there taking dimes and quarters so we could get that frig.”
“I guess a little inspiration can go a long way.”
“Yes. It surely can.”
When the day was over, Luke took her home even though Jaycee was going the same direction. In fact, Jaycee seemed as though the driving arrangements were pre-set as she got in her car and told them she’d see them back at the house.
Sliding into his seat, Luke looked over at Sage. “Crazy day.”
She let her gaze drift over to him. “The craziest.”
Then picking up her hand, he kissed it. “And one of the best.”
The smile came without effort. “That too.”
They played cards at the Lawrences’ until nearly midnight when Luke headed home completely exhausted by the day but in a very good way. Being around her was like being plugged in to a 1,000 watt light bulb so that he didn’t even realize how tired he was until he dropped into bed.
Just as he drifted off, he heard the sound, and when his eyes pushed open, he saw the light. With a yawn that came from his toes, he reached for the cell phone and ran his hand down his face, blinking to see the message.
Night, darlin’. See ya in the mornin’.
Despite the exhaustion, he smiled and typed back. Night to you too, darlin’. I love you.
Not half as much as I love you. ‘Night.
How it was possible to be so happy and so tired, he had no idea. But he fell asleep with them wrapped around him as he dreamed about her and how different his life was with her in it.
The next morning when Sage got to church, the first thing she did was find Luke and give him a hug. The second thing she did was find Jane and give her a hug. In fact, she had hugged about half the people who showed up by the start of the service before she went in and took her seat with her family. Jane sat up front, alone again, and Sage sent up a silent prayer for her. Please, Lord, send Jane someone to love.
When the pastor stepped to the podium after the readings, Sage settled in next to her dad and cleared the world from around her so she wouldn’t miss anything.
“We are made in the likeness and image of God,” Pastor Steve said, and he paused to let that sink in. “The likeness and image of God. What does that mean? Well, first of all, it means we are to love because as 1 John 4:8 points out, ‘God is love.’ Not God loves, but God is love. Love is the essence of God. And we know that, right? As Christians we are called to love one another. We are even called to love our enemies and to do good to those who hate us.
“But I think we make a fundamental error when we fail to understand that God is love because God loves and lives in a relationship. God has always been in relationship—God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Three persons, so closely knit together in love that they are, in fact, One.” He put his hands together, lacing his fingers. “One God. In relationship. And we were made in His likeness and image. That means we were made for relationship. We were not made for independence.”
He pulled his hands apart and gripped the podium. “We were made to depend on each other. You are not weak for needing other people. Needing other people is how you were made. But we get this idea that we’re supposed to be strong and need no one. We get the idea that our worth is determined by how independent we are, but nothing could be further from the teachings of the Gospel. Jesus went off, yes, to our eyes, by Himself but so that He could spend time with His Father. In fact, Jesus tells the disciples that if they have seen Him, then they have seen the Father because He and the Father are One.”
Once again, he entwined his fingers. “It’s the same idea when a man marries a woman. The two of them become one. God is showing us in the love of a Godly couple His ideal of relationship. Notice, I did not say the relationship is ideal, at least here on earth. All couples have their ups and downs, but they commit to facing them as one. They raise their family as one. They knit their lives so closely together that they are no longer two individuals but one together in relationship.”
Stepping back, he thought through the next part. “In fact, when you get right down to our core, our essence of who we are in God, relationship is built into the system. Just like the Father cannot be a Father without a Son, so a Son can’t be a Son without the Father. And the knitting that holds them together is the love they have for each other which is called the Holy Spirit. It’s the same way it is with us. God, you, others—living and moving in a holy relationship. Learning together, being together, working together—to do something and be something bigger and greater than we could each ever be alone or separate.
“That’s why when we feel disconnected, we are in such pain. We are not designed to be disconnected. We are designed to be together. When St. Paul speaks about reconciliation.” Pastor Steve brought his hands together again. “That literally means to bring back together. To reconnect. And that is our call today and every day of our Christian lives, to bring people who are disconnected in, into the embrace of God with us. As we do that and the more we do that, the more we live out the call to be more Christlike, to live like Jesus did. He came to call sinners home. He came that we might be reconciled to God and to each other. So today, let us heed this call and surrender those things that keep us apart from others in our hearts. Let go of pettiness and jealousy and anger, hatred, and shame. Let us step into real love and real relationship because we are made in the image and likeness of God Himself—three persons, in one, living forever in an eternal bond of loving relationship.”
When they stood with the pastor, Sage’s heart swelled with the hope of the pastor’s words, the hope of being in a relationship with those she loved and was learning to love with all her heart. At that moment and before she realized what was happening, her father reached over and put his arm around her, drawing her to him, and she returned the hug. Maybe it wasn’t just the Father who needed a Son to be in a relationship. Maybe it was a father who needed a daughter, and a daughter who needed a father. With tears sliding down her face, she hugged him once more, really liking how that connection felt.
Gently he kissed the top of her head, and Sage knew she had just stepped out forever and for always from the reflection of the mirror into something new and wonderful, a place she had always and eternally been meant to stand. Right there, in the arms of a father who loved her no matter the paths and trials it had taken to get here. This was finally home.