Reid
I decided to move back to my hometown. I’d split up with Zoey, but that didn’t mean I had to stay gone forever. I’d moved away for a while to give her some space so she wouldn’t have to see me every day, but now it was time to get back to my friends, my family, and the woman I left behind. I don’t expect she’ll want to know me…after all, she knows what happened between me and Zoey better than anyone. But that doesn’t mean I can keep my distance from her. I want to be around her even if I can’t be with her. We clearly can’t be together, it would be insane. I’ve found myself in a Catch-22 situation. I hope to get to see more of her now I’ve found a place to live, but I’ll be crushed if I have to see her with another man. I could have stayed gone, but it was killing me not to see her at all. My brother and his boyfriend were good enough to let me stay with them until I could find a place to settle down.
I went to town to get some shopping in and that’s when I saw her. Her blonde hair looked glorious with the sun beating down on it. I couldn’t see her eyes from a distance but I had the colour of them committed to memory. They’re the most beautiful blue-green, like the clearest ocean on a summer day. I wanted so badly to approach her, but I didn’t want to make it known I was back in town. Word would get back to Zoey that way, and then things could become awkward. Instead I turned and walked in the opposite direction, leaving my heart where I had been standing.
Arriving back home, I packed away the groceries and sat on the couch with a bottle of Bud. I needed something to take my mind off her beautiful face. I knew when I came back I was going to bump into her, but I hadn’t been prepared for it to be today. In a way, I’m glad I only saw her from a distance. If I’d been any closer, I would have wanted to reach out and touch her, something I knew I couldn’t do.
Picking up my phone, I dialled my brother, Jason.
“Yo, Reid, what’s up, bro?” he answered.
“Just wondered if you fancied a game night or something.”
“You really need to get out of the house more, dude.”
Trouble was, if I got out of the house more, there was more chance of Zoey seeing me or someone telling her I was back.
“Are you up for playing Deus Ex tonight or what?” I asked a little impatiently.
“Sure bro, gimme like…umm…gimme thirty minutes and I’ll be home,” he answered and then hung up. Typical Jason. Manners never were his strong point.
I got up to fetch myself another beer and a pile of take-out menus.
***
Jason arrived home an hour later. Much like manners, arriving somewhere on time was never his strong point, but I was used to that by now. He grabbed himself a beer from the fridge and picked up the menus from the table as he walked by to sit next to me.
“How about a Tandoori Hot and a Meatilicious from Dominoes? Maybe a couple of Ben & Jerry’s for dessert?” he asked as he plonked his arse on the couch.
“Firstly, I don’t know how you eat that much and still stay in such good shape, and secondly, it’s a no to the ice cream…well, it is for me, anyway.”
“I work hard to keep in shape, bro. I have a way of burning off all the extra calories.” He winked at me as a broad smile lit up his face.
My little brother was a sex addict if ever I’d met one. He had been in a long term relationship with Liam for the last three years, and they were still in the ‘honeymoon period.’ I guess it would be safe to admit I’m a little jealous. I’d give anything to have a relationship like theirs. Mom and Pops hadn’t been too happy when they found out they weren’t going to have grandchildren, but they fell in love with Liam from the day they met him.
“Little brother, I do not wish to hear about your sex life,” I replied as I set up the X-box.
“Only because you’re jealous that you ain’t getting none. Dude, you have to let me hook you up, seriously.”
“That would be a hell no!” I exclaimed as I threw the controller towards him.
He caught it with ease and looked up at me with a quizzical look on his face.
“I might be gay, bro, but that don’t mean I don’t know some damn hot chicks.”
Raising an eyebrow and waggling it at me, I looked at him and laughed.
“Not happening, bro!”
“Still hung up on this mysterious chick? Seriously, you just need to sow your oats.”
“You did not just say that,” I remarked as I cuffed him round the back of the head.
He choked on the swig of beer he had been taking.
“I just think if you got laid more often, you’d be less miserable and I wouldn’t have to keep your sorry ass company.”
“Gee, don’t hold back, Jase, tell it how it is!” I exclaimed as I took a large pull from my near empty Bud bottle.
“You know I don’t mean it that way. I love you, bro. It’s just…don’t take this the wrong way, but, you’re just miserable lately, and it always seems like you gravitate towards spending time with me rather than any of your old friends. Not that I mind, but Liam is pissed at how many times I have had to drive out of town to keep my brother in check."
“Well, you don’t have to drive out of town anymore, I’m home for good now. I’m done hiding away. As for being miserable, I’m working on that too. I just fancied a night with my baby bro tonight before I tried to get my life into order.”
Liam sat on the other couch and threw us a look over the top of his book.
“You could play Deus Ex with us, dude.”
“I know I could, but you know I’d rather lose myself in a good book.”
“I don’t get how he does that. I don’t have the patience to read about somebody else’s life, much rather be out living my own,” Jase says as he starts to play the game.
I get up and retrieve another couple of bottles of Bud before returning to the couch with my phone in hand, ready to call for a takeaway.
“It’s a good job opposites attract then, huh?” I ask as I hand him a fresh beer.
“Sure is. Dunno what that studious book geek sees in me. I’m the party animal—though admittedly not so much anymore—whereas I swear he’s going to take up crochet or something just as old lady-ish.”
I barked a laugh. My brother loves Liam, anyone can see that. And it seems true that opposites attract. Liam has always been the sensible, level-headed, head in a book kind of guy, whereas Jason has always been less of a homebody, preferring to get away to Ibiza and party. But since they’d got together, Liam was slowly coming out of his shell a touch more and Jason was learning to curb his partying habits, settling for a good night in with the man he loved instead.
We played Deus Ex for a couple of hours. I’d never been much of a gamer, but when I moved out of town, Jase had brought his X-box over and set up Black Ops. He’d left it with me for a while, giving me something to do to pass the time when I wasn’t at work. It helped take my mind off my problems for a while, but it didn’t solve them, nothing did. That’s why I’d made the decision to come home and face my problems head on…starting with a huge ass apology to Zoey, but I hadn’t plucked up the courage to do that yet.
Jase and Liam went to bed around eleven p.m., leaving me on my own to contemplate getting my shit in order. I sat with my phone in my hand, looking through the contacts. I came across her name, but as much as I wanted to press dial, I couldn’t. She didn’t have a clue how I felt about her and it was probably best it stayed that way. Especially as if I had my priorities in order, I actually owed Zoey an apology first. We’d talked once or twice since I’d left town, but making small talk over the phone wasn’t going to help us heal as much as a face to face conversation.