Joe
I pull into my parents’ driveway. Before I get out, I take a deep breath. I’ve been mentally preparing myself to tell my parents about Chloe and the baby.
The more I’ve had time to think about it, the more I’m fucking excited. Sure, I might be what others assume as being too young, but I want this. I have a feeling the more I get to know Chloe, the more I’m going to want her too.
Last night after getting her pills for her, we watched a movie, but to be honest I barely paid attention to it since she had fallen asleep with her head in my lap. While I watched the movie, my hand sifted through her hair. Her cat Lagertha was curled up in front of her, and Ragnar sat next to me staring at me like a creeper.
After the movie ended, I gently woke her and helped her up. She used the bathroom first and then grabbed me an extra toothbrush. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I wasn’t sure if I should lie down on the sofa or go into her room. I didn’t want to assume anything.
“Joe? You can sleep in here.” Well, that answered that question.
The scent of peppermint hit me as soon as I stepped into her bedroom. That’s when I noticed a little machine next to her side of the bed with steam or smoke coming out of it. If memory served, peppermint was good for nausea. I stripped out of my t-shirt and jeans so I was in nothing but my boxer briefs.
Chloe held the blankets up as I slipped in next to her. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her toward me until only an inch separated us. “Is this okay?” My lips ghosted over her forehead.
She snuggled closer to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. “It’s great.” Chloe’s voice sounded sleepy.
In seconds, her soft snores filled the room. I felt the cats both jump onto the bed, curling up at the end. The bed was so comfortable, like sleeping on a firm cloud, and almost big enough for my frame. In just a few minutes, I was out.
My eyes opened, and I felt pressure on my chest. I looked down and smiled. Chloe’s head was resting on my chest, her arm wrapped around my waist and our legs tangled. Both of my arms were wrapped around her, holding her tight. I’ve never been a snuggler, but I could’ve cuddled her forever…wait, what? Forever is a long time, and I’m not quite sure what our future holds.
Carefully, I slipped out of bed and stealthily moved around to her side. I grabbed and looked at each bottle until I found peppermint. After reading the bottle, I poured water and four drops of the oil into the little diffuser and turned it on. I stood over the steam and tried to shoo it in her direction.
The cats both looked at me while I threw my pants on but then laid their heads right back down. In the kitchen, I got the water going for her tea and made myself a cup of coffee. I also made some peanut butter and saltines.
When I stepped back into her bedroom, I found her running her fingers through Lagertha’s fur. She wore a dreamy smile on her face.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I set the tray down and handed her the cup of tea. A laugh escaped as I watched her take a sip and then make that adorable, disgusted face.
“I’m not sure yet. Once I’m up and moving, I’ll let you know. Thank you for starting my diffuser. I’m hoping the peppermint will help. Can I have a cracker?” I climbed onto the bed and settled in next to her. Grabbing a cracker, I held it up to her lips. She looked at me with a question in her eyes.
“Take a bite.” Her eyes went to me and then back to the cracker before she leaned in and bit a small piece off. I watched her plump lips as she chewed the cracker and then swallowed it down.
My dick was hard as a rock, but there was nothing that could be done about it or that I was going to do about it. She’d been sick—sick enough to end up in the hospital. It wasn’t the time to fuck.
I popped a couple of crackers into my mouth and washed them down with a sip of coffee. Chloe climbed out of bed and slowly made it around to the door to the hallway. I climbed out of bed and followed after her. Standing just outside the door as she went to the bathroom, I listened to make sure she didn’t need me.
The toilet flushed, the faucet turned on and off, and the door opened. “I feel okay. I’m a little queasy but not nearly as bad.”
“Good. Now let’s go get your pills.”
Back in the kitchen, I handed her the ginger and thiamine pills and watched her swallow them down.
“Your color is better this morning.” I reached out, stroking her cheek. “I’m going to have to get going soon.” Moving toward her, I wrapped an arm around her waist. “We’re going to talk this week. I want to know how you’re doing, and I want the chance to get to know you better.”
“Sure thing, bossy.” She placed her hands on my chest. “Thank you for coming here. Thank you for showing up and wanting to be a part of our baby’s life. I would like for us to get to know each other better, too.”
That made me happy, and I couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Call or text me when you get home.” I don’t know why, but her saying that created warmth in my chest.
When I went to leave, Chloe walked me to the door. I only meant to hug her, but I ended up picking her up and putting her back against the wall as we kissed. It was just as hot as every other kiss we’ve shared.
There is no denying that we have great chemistry physically. It’s the mental and emotional stuff that we have to figure out.
Pulling my lips reluctantly away from hers, I took a deep breath. “You make it very hard to think. You’re hell on my willpower.” She reached between us and palmed my aching cock. “You’re torturing me, baby.”
That’s when Chloe’s face paled, then turned green. I quickly carried her into the bathroom, but nothing happened. She gagged a couple of times, but that was it.
“Fuck, I can’t leave you like this.” My mom would understand.
“Joe, I’m okay. You’ve got a four-hour drive ahead of you. My parents live super close, as do my brother and Eli. I’m covered. Go be with your family.”
“Okay, but you call them right away if you need them. You shouldn’t be alone.” It didn’t sit well with me that she could be getting sick all by herself.
She rested her cheek against my chest, tucked in the spot right under my chin. My arms wrapped around her, and neither one of us spoke.
“I really have to go, but we’ll talk later.” I kissed her forehead because it was safer for both of us right then.
As I pulled out of Chloe’s driveway, she gave me a small wave. I don’t know what it was, but I could feel it in my soul that it was going to be hard staying away from her.
Now at my parents, I psych myself up for the news I’m about to give them. Since they’re expecting me, I don’t bother knocking—I just step inside. I find my dad and baby sister Haddie sitting in the living room. “Hey, guys.”
My sister has grown into a beautiful young woman. Her strawberry blonde hair is long with curls that frame her face. She’s got pale blue eyes like our mom. Haddie comes to me, wrapping me in a tight hug.
“Hey, big brother.”
I kiss her cheek. “What’s up, squirt?”
She leads me farther into the room. “Nothing. I start nursing school next month. I’m so excited.” Haddie will make a great nurse—she’s compassionate and caring. She’s always over at Abby and Ben’s helping with the kids, especially when Ben works doubles.
“You’re going to do amazing.” I reach my dad. He stands up to give me a hug. “How are you, old man?”
“Who are you calling old? I could still kick your ass.” I follow him into the kitchen, where my mom is leaning against the counter with her Kindle in her hand. She’s always been a reader, and she’s a multitasking reader too. She’ll be reading while vacuuming, dusting, cooking…etc.
All of us kids inherited her love of reading. I read a lot of sports biographies and a few murder mysteries. “Jesus, woman. Do you shower with that thing, too?” My mom looks up and smiles. I love the little gap she has between her front teeth. Haddie’s got the same one. It matches their characters completely.
“Hi, honey.” She gives me a hug, and I look down at her and smile. I’m still not sure how this tiny woman gave birth to me—I was almost a ten-pound baby—but she did and then had two more after me. Abby isn’t my biological sister, but Mom’s raised her since she was three.
“Hey, Mom.” I bend down and kiss her cheek. “What’s for dinner? It smells delicious.”
“Turkey Tetrazzini, your favorite. Do you wanna set the table for me?” she asks as she pulls down plates.
I move her out of the way, finishing grabbing everything and taking it to the table. “Is Parker going to be here?” He just started an electrician apprenticeship last year. It’s in Charleston, so he’s staying with our uncle Cash and Aunt Tessa and their kids during the week.
“No, he’s helping your uncle on some big project that they’re doing around the house,” my dad says as he takes the dish from me. “Your mom and I are really proud of you kids. You’re all doing so great.”
My stomach dips, and I rub my neck. I hate the idea of disappointing my parents. I know I’ve caused them some grief for as long as I can remember, but this is far more…I wouldn’t say worse, but it’s more monumental. This isn’t going to just change my life but Chloe’s, too.
We finish eating, and Haddie excuses herself to go to a movie with Daisy. As soon as she’s gone, I help my dad clean up after dinner.
“What’s got you troubled?” My dad leans against the counter, looking at me pointedly.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “You may want to sit down. Mom, can you come in here, please?”
She steps into the kitchen and looks between us. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” Rushing toward me, she cups my face and turns it back and forth. “Are you sick?”
She’s such a worrier. “No, it’s nothing like that. Please just sit with Dad.”
Pacing back and forth in front of them, I try desperately to muster up the courage to say what I have to. I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. “The night of Vi’s wedding, I…I slept with Chloe.” It’s just like ripping off a Band-Aid. I just need to do it quickly. “She’s pregnant, and it’s mine. We’re going to get to know each other better, and I want to help her raise our child.”
Neither of them speaks. They both stare at me, and I can’t read either of their expressions. This is worse than the time my mom found the condoms in my room when I was fifteen.
“Please say something,” I plead.
My mom is the first one to speak. “How did this happen, Joseph?” Oh shit, she’s pulling out the full name. “Sweetheart, I love you very much, but you should know better.”
“Mom, I swear we were safe. I don’t know how it happened.” God, that sounds so lame. I’ve always been safe—even with Tracey, we always used condoms. I’d never wanted to take the chance that birth control pills could fail.
“Son, are you sure it’s your baby?” I open my mouth to speak, but my dad holds up his hand. “I really like Chloe, I do, but how can you be sure it’s yours?”
That makes me mad because I trust her. Yeah, we don’t know each other well, but she doesn’t seem like the type to pull any shit like that. “Because I trust her when she says that it’s mine. Chloe told me I could be involved as much as I want.”
“She lives four hours away. How is it going to work?” This comes from my mom.
“I don’t know. We haven’t gotten that far. She was in the emergency room yesterday and hasn’t been feeling well.”
My mom stands up and moves toward me. “What happened? Are her and the baby okay?”
“Yeah, she’s just got really bad nausea and has been living off peanut butter and saltines…it caught up with her because she passed out at work. They gave her fluids, and now she’s taking ginger pills and has peppermint oil going in a diffuser.” I don’t like that she’s alone. Sure, her parents and brother live close, but they don’t live with her.
“That poor thing. I remember what that was like. I was so sick with Parker.” She cups my cheek. “In all seriousness, you can’t say you’re going to be all in and then bail on her. I’m not thrilled that this has happened, but babies are a blessing. You don’t necessarily have to be together, but raising a child is a partnership. You two are bound together forever now.”
Forever? Why does the thought of forever make me queasy all of a sudden? I’m going to be someone’s father.
“Joe?”
I back away from my mom, looking between her and my dad. “I’ve got to get out of here.” Bolting for the door, I can hear my dad calling after me, but I don’t stop. I climb in my car and back out quickly.
After driving around aimlessly, I stop along the river. This spot is where Violet and I would come when either of us needed to talk. God, I wish Vi was here now. I could call her, I guess, but she’s basking in newly wedded bliss with Diego. Our kids will be close in age just like we are.
I don’t know if I can do this—raise a baby together as some sort of partnership, or raise a baby at all. Sure, I love my niece and nephews, but the best part about them is that they’ll go home to their mom and dad.
Chloe’s seven years older than I am, but the age thing doesn’t bother me. So she’s older than I am…big fucking deal, because she doesn’t look it, and even if she did, I wouldn’t care. She’s beautiful and sweet and obviously loved by her family. Plus she’s related to my aunt Stacy on her side of the family, and she rocks.
But can I really raise a child with her? Will it work?
The streetlights are on when I finally make it home. Both of my parents have tried calling me, but I’ve been ignoring them. Inside my apartment, I grab a beer out of the fridge. The hiss of the cap being twisted fills my little kitchen. I toss it in the sink and drink down half of the bottle before pulling it away from my lips.
I pull out my phone, thumb through the contacts, and stop on Chloe’s name. I want to take the easy way out and just text her, but I can’t do it. She deserves to at least hear the words from my mouth.
Shit. It goes right to voicemail. “This is Chloe—you know what to do.”
After the beep, I take a deep breath. “Hey, Chloe, it’s Joe. Listen, I don’t want to do this on your voicemail, but I just need to get it out. I don’t think I can do this. I’m not ready to be someone’s father. I’m so sorry.” I disconnect the call. Slamming the rest of my beer down, I grab another and crack it open. I drink this one a little slower, and no matter what, it doesn’t make me feel any better about what I just did.
My phone pings, and I see it’s a text from Chloe.
Chloe: Ok. I will tell you this one time and one time only. There will be no changing your mind down the road. You don’t want to be a father then fine you won’t be. When the child’s born I’ll have papers drawn up so you can sign over all of your rights. Have a good life, Joe.
I read it over and over, and the sinking feeling in my stomach hurts like a son of a bitch. With a flick of my wrist, my phone hits the tiled backsplash in my kitchen. The screen shatters and hits the counter.
“What did I just do?”