THE BRIGHTNESS OF dawn threatened to wake me. I shifted in bed, hoping not to properly wake, but something was weighing me down. Or rather, someone. Nate’s breath tickled my nape as he slept behind me, his arm at my waist securing me to him. I stretched lazily. As consciousness returned, memories of last night flooded back.
What gave me the courage to invite him in? I’ve never been that forward. But some sort of primal instinct kicked in and I had to be with him. Wanting Nate so badly shocked me—giving in to that urge even more so. All along I’d been under the assumption he just wanted sex, yet when it came to it, I was the one who succumbed to those carnal desires and took us to another level. The line had been crossed now. There was no going back. Last night was purely about lust and two people desperate to fuck.
And it was seriously hot.
Smiling, I hugged his arm closer. All my instincts were right. The man knew how to kiss. He knew how to fuck even better.
Careful not to disturb him, I rolled onto my back, taking the chance to admire Nate without fear of being caught. The suits gave him an air of authority that made him seem older. Now, beside me, he looked younger than his thirty years. Enviably long lashes curled and occasionally fluttered as they reached below his eyes, overnight growth beginning to cover the fine contours of his face.
Nate blinked open one eye, then the other. The biggest smile of accomplishment gradually beamed across his face. Heat flushed my cheeks, but I couldn’t help returning his infectious smile. “Morning.”
He brushed hair from my face and kissed the tip of my nose. “Morning,” he replied, examining me with questioning eyes. “You okay?”
“Yes.” I trailed fingers up and down his upper arm as it crossed my chest.
“No regrets?”
“None.” Before I could return the question, Nate rose onto his elbow and scissored one leg between mine. My breath caught when his erection prodded my thigh.
“Wanna do it again?” The once beaming smile grew into one of pure wickedness, his eyes flaming with lascivious ideas.
I grinned. “Thought you seemed pleased to see me.”
“If I’m not mistaken, you were enjoying the view, too,” he drawled.
He’d been awake the entire time I was studying him. I shoved his shoulder. “You’re good at faking it.”
“Hope you’re not,” Nate countered dryly, grinning as he peeled the sheet down until it bunched on the curve of my hip.
“Nate, no.” My hand went to ease it back up, but he stilled it.
“Don’t be shy, let me see you.”
Last night, his scrutiny had been fairly painless given the subtle lighting. I’d even go so far as saying I felt desirable. But now, in the dappled sunlight, knowing he was purposely checking me out made me desperately want to hide.
Nate’s gaze slid over my bare flesh, drinking me in as his fingers traced the contours of my body. “I want to explore every curve,” he murmured, pressing his lips to my shoulder, “and I will.” Goosebumps skittered across my skin, my nipples hardening when he caressed beneath my breasts. “I’m all for wild, passionate fucking, but I wanted to experience you without hurry.”
His lips moved along my jaw to my ear, where he tugged my lobe between his teeth. “I’m a man of my word.”
Drawing his head back, the glazed look of lust in his eyes was the same one glimpsed last night. I stroked an unruly strand of hair from his forehead, silently telling him yes. I was already aching for his touch, beyond aroused by his words alone. Thinking of him inside me again was a real aphrodisiac, fuelling my passion. Shoving my hands into his hair I kissed him, languidly luring him deeper, ready for so much more. I savoured the heat of his firm, naked body covering mine, cradling me beneath him.
“Your eyes…” Nate murmured, “…so unusual, so wise.” He lay a trail of kisses down my neck. “I want to taste you.”
My hips undulated, rising to meet him, my body showing how much I wanted him to. Cupping my breast, he rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, watching his deft fingers move. A shockwave of pleasure darted to my core as I arched my back, needing more. Then his mouth was on me, covering my nipple and sucking gently, switching between both breasts.
“Oh.” I dropped my head back, absorbing every bit of pleasure Nate was giving me. As he moved down my body, I tilted my hips, willing him to kiss me in the most intimate place. I was aching to feel his tongue on me.
The anticipation was killing me, my body a tangle of energy and sensation as I waited, my breaths coming fast and heavy. Nate straightened and sat back on his heels. Lifting my foot and placing it on his shoulder, he worked both hands leisurely up my calf.
“Your legs drive me insane,” he said hoarsely. “Having them wrapped around me last night was too much.” His mouth followed his hands all the way to my knee then on to my thigh. He was a master of seduction, deliberately making me wait, heightening my need for him. He did exactly the same with the other leg. Moaning my appreciation, my hips bowed off the bed when he reached my apex once more.
“I can’t wait any longer. I have to taste you.” Nate’s voice was gruff as he hooked my legs over his shoulders. His thumbs moved softly over me, parting me until his hot breath blew on my clit. “God,” he murmured, “you’re just as lovely down here.”
Any shyness over what he was about to do went as I gripped the pillow beneath my head, my mouth dry with anticipation. Strong hands held me still as his tongue slowly ran the length of my cleft.
“Yes,” I moaned, the feeling unbearable in the most satisfying way. Clenching the pillow tightly, I bit my lip to stifle another moan but couldn’t stop it when Nate sucked gently on my clit. My body took over, shamelessly grinding against his mouth, lost in his languid exploration as I chased my orgasm. Teetering on the edge, I grasped his hair and pulled, deliriously not knowing if I wanted him to stop or carry on. It was so good.
Nate groaned, and the erotic sound vibrating against me sent my orgasm soaring through me. I was helpless, crying out with the force of it, shaking uncontrollably. He worked his tongue over me, sustaining the rolling orgasm, relentlessly driving me to the point where I lost all sense of where I was. When he sucked again, I reached the peak almost instantaneously and climaxed with a shudder.
“No more,” I whimpered, sagging into the mattress, utterly spent. Nate’s chuckle rippled over my tender folds of flesh, causing me to moan again.
“You don’t like?” he drawled.
“Too much,” I panted, trying to push away from his mouth. “You’re too good.”
“Sweetheart.” He dragged me back down. “You taste so fucking good, I may be here a while.”
I raised onto my elbows and met his hungry eyes. Smiling salaciously, his thumb replaced his tongue and two fingers dipped inside. I was too sensitive and jolted when he began rubbing my clit back and forth. An elongated groan escaped my mouth as I watched him finger me, his face so close to my sex. Nate was watching me back, reading my face, seeing my reactions to him, and I let him.
Those eyes were hypnotic, encouraging me to be so expressive, making me feel wanton and sexy because I could read those exact thoughts in their stormy blue haze. See how much it excited him, how good it made him feel to see me like this, shedding my inhibitions. When his tongue joined in, it wasn’t long before I was coming again, reaching for the iron bed-head to support my shattered body.
Satisfied he’d got me off enough, Nate made his way back up my body the same leisurely way he’d gone down it. “That’s almost as good as fucking you,” he said roughly, sealing his mouth over mine. “Almost.”
The taste of my own arousal was still on his lips, and the muscles in his back flexed and tightened as I rubbed over them, unable to get enough of him and the way he felt beneath my hands.
“I need to be inside you.” The nips on my shoulder became more insistent as Nate started rocking into me, the stiffness of his cock rubbing against my tender sex. I needed it too, shamelessly lifting my hips to meet him. I remembered the condoms I’d tossed in my bedside drawer and stretched to get them.
Nate was one step ahead of me, reaching in until he located one of the foil packets. He smiled—a lazy grin that unexplainably made me feel excruciatingly shy considering what he’d recently been doing to me.
I took it and ripped the packet open with unsteady hands. Nate hovered above me, watching my every move. “God, Kara,” he groaned, biting his bottom lip when I rolled the condom down the length of his thick shaft and squeezed at the base.
He nudged my legs wider and eased into me. With hands either side of my shoulders, arms outstretched lifting his body high above me, Nate rocked back and forth, his movements practised and precise. I’d barely recovered from the earlier orgasms, yet another was building. I traced his face with hesitant fingertips, watching him make love to me, every move he made breaking me down, owning me.
The pressure on my clit was acute, his cock simultaneously massaging the tender spot deep inside. A sheen of sweat glistened his body, his mind lost in his own ecstasy.
Nate gazed at me through unfocused eyes. “Kara.” There was so much unspoken meaning behind the reverent whisper of my name. My chest tightened, taking my breath away. Folding an arm beneath me, he raised my hips off the bed and held me there, pushing into me deeper and deeper. I clasped his shoulders, holding on and tilted my pelvis into him.
“Again…” I was on the verge once more.
“Let go,” he growled, sending me over the edge. I collapsed beneath him. Shockwaves pulsed from my groin to the tips of my fingers and toes, and up to my head in a rush. His body tensed when his own orgasm took over, the cry of my name muffled against my neck as he weighted my body with his
Fuck, that was good. Really good.
We lay in a post orgasmic haze. Nate kept his face buried in the crook of my neck but stroked my hair affectionately. I dragged my nails up and down his back, soothing him as he held me tight.
When our breaths had calmed, Nate raised his head. He looked lost, equally as unsettled by our lovemaking as I was. He pulled out and rolled onto his back, disposing of the condom in the bin beside the bed. In a blissful state of elation, I sprawled across the bed, unable to move my limbs. They were deliciously heavy and tired.
“Come here.” Nate tugged me into his side, draping an arm around my shoulders. I weaved a leg around his and rested on his chest, listening to his levelling heartbeat.
“I see what you mean about fucking and making love,” I said timidly. Both of his hands had been drawing patterns on my arms and shoulders, but they stopped the second I spoke.
“Mmm,” he replied disconcertingly, “think we both proved there’s a definite difference.”
I glanced up, wondering what was running through his mind when I saw his troubled expression. He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes how it usually did.
“Which do you prefer?” Nate asked once I’d settled back on his chest.
“Both.”
His chest lifted with a chuckle, bringing a smile to my own unsettled composure. “Me, too.”
WHEN I opened my eyes a while later, the brightness hinted at late morning. I craned my neck to look at Nate and found him sleeping. Without disturbing him, I extracted myself from his arms and crawled out of bed to the en-suite, closing the door quietly behind me.
My cheeks were flushed and my eyes sparkled. My hair was all tousled and wild, my lips plumped and red. All in all, I was radiant. I took a hair tie from the cupboard and finger-combed the disorderly strands into a high ponytail. Then I brushed my teeth and splashed cold water on my face, hoping to take away the heat still radiating from me.
Back in the bedroom, I paused to examine the male perfection that was Nate Blake as I slipped on my silk robe. His upper body was leanly ripped—defined pecs, at least a six pack of sculpted abs—and the crowning glory was the deep V jutting down to his sheet covered groin. I sighed longingly as I drank in his wondrous body stretched out in my king bed.
Closing the bedroom door quietly, I padded barefoot across the lounge to the kitchen, collecting our discarded clothes on the way and hanging them over the backs of dining chairs. After measuring out the coffee beans and sticking my oversized cup in the machine, I took my phone from my clutch whilst waiting for them to grind and percolate.
I was shocked to find it almost midday. Sleep was a favourite hobby of mine, but I hadn’t managed to sleep this late since my student days. A tiny voice in my head reminded me I hadn’t been doing a lot of sleeping. It sounded very much like Mai’s know-it-all voice. I put that down to seeing a missed call and two text messages a few hours ago from her, each with varying degrees of desperation for details. I tapped a brief reply, letting her know I was okay and I’d see her tomorrow.
The aroma of freshly ground coffee filled the kitchen. I removed the almost empty milk carton from the fridge and added a dash to my drink. Folding both hands around the mug, I blew away the steam and took a sip. Tomorrow, I’d be heading into work after spending the weekend having passionate sex with the boss. I wasn’t sure where we went from here but was grateful we didn’t actually work together. Past experience had taught me that got very awkward.
I set the mug down and returned the milk to the fridge. It was pretty obvious last night would end the way it did. There was an undercurrent in the air from the second we said hello. Using the open door for support, I stretched down, enjoying the soreness left from a night of great sex. Fucking Nate was electric. But we’d just made love, and now there was an entirely different exhilaration buzzing through my body. In the last twelve hours, I’d possibly had the greatest sex of my life. Twice.
“Why did you get up?” a gravelly voice asked.
I jerked up from the fridge where I’d been staring mindlessly at the empty shelves, daydreaming. Nate leant shirtless against the breakfast bar, running a hand sleepily through recently fucked hair.
“I…I needed the bathroom.”
He leisurely moved around to join me, revealing he was wearing his trousers with bare feet. I had no idea why, but the look had me feeling hot.
I took another mug from the cupboard. “Coffee?” My voice trembled, mirroring how I felt, as I shoved it under the nozzle without waiting for a reply.
“Er…please. Long black, double shot, no sugar.” Nate leant back against the counter, arms crossed, and watched carefully as I went about making it. My hands shook nervously as I half-filled the cup with boiling water. Then I pressed espresso twice and waited, restlessly, feeling the pressure of his gaze on my back.
“Can I get you some breakfast? Or lunch?” I asked, running the limited contents of my cupboards through my mind and hoping he’d say no. Thanks for those mind-shattering orgasms, accept some dry old toast and a banana as my gratitude.
“No.” He glanced around with a frown. “Thanks.”
Trying to keep my wits about me wasn’t easy. Nate made it increasingly difficult wearing little clothing in such close proximity. It was very distracting—he was very distracting.
“Here.” I handed him his mug. He took it with a tight smile and moved to the dining area, sipping it as he walked. It hit me then that his usual relaxed mood and happy face had been absent since getting up. I finished my coffee, watching him over the rim as he shrugged on his shirt. His silence unnerved me, the rigidness of his features as he fastened the buttons more so.
Having men in my apartment was a new experience, a situation I hadn’t been in for a long time. I wasn’t sure of the etiquette in terms of how long I should expect him to stay before leaving. Nate probably wasn’t used to being in a woman’s place either. His conquests were probably made to suffer the walk of shame.
“I like your apartment.” He collected his coffee from the table and wandered towards the windows.
“Thanks.” The small space had a neutral base palette. My bedroom was feminine and romantic. The living areas were modern and edgy, filled with bold, bright colours. “It’s enough for me.”
“The flowers still look good.” His eyes fixed on the tulips taking pride of place on my desk, his thumb brushing the petals. “There’s a significance in each colour. I took a long time choosing the appropriate ones.”
Pleased he’d made the effort to select them himself rather than sending an assistant, I mentally noted I’d be hitting the internet later to do some research. I was consumed by my thoughts as I marvelled at God’s gift to women standing barely twenty feet away, in my apartment, drinking my coffee, after spending the night in my bed.
“Are you sure I can’t get you anything to eat?” I offered, mentally kicking myself for my good manners. “More coffee?” I rinsed my mug and set it under the nozzle for a second hit of caffeine.
“No, I’m good, thanks,” he muttered distractedly. With his back to me, Nate faced the window. His shoulders were hunched, both hands now shoved into his trouser pockets. I pressed a palm to my chest, rubbing over my speeding heart. Something wasn’t right.
I made my way over. He glanced sideways when I reached his side, lines forming across his brow. The foreboding knot in my stomach twisted again from the chaos in his eyes. Without saying anything, he moved in front of my desk.
“Is this your family?” Nate stared at the collage of photos in the large frame on the wall above it, but he didn’t really see them, his mind working on other concerns.
“Mostly.” I joined him and pointed to the one taking pride of place in the centre. “That’s my parents.”
He leant in for a closer inspection. “You’re like your mom.”
My father regularly told me I reminded him of my mother at this age. My height and eye shade had come from him, but the rest of my features were all her.
Before I got to agree, Nate moved on to another. “Who’s this?”
The picture of Mai and I wearing Mickey Mouse ears made me giggle every time I saw it. We’d taken her nieces to Disneyland a few months ago, and eagerly participated in the silliness. “That’s my friend, Mai. She works for you too, you know.” Hoping to raise a smile and bring back the good-natured man I thought he was, I nudged him playfully with my hips.
The tiniest hint of one appeared when he faced me. I tried figuring out what had happened to the relaxed, playful man from earlier, but all I saw was a lost soul. As his eyes drifted over my face, his frown deepened. Then he let out a soft sigh and returned to the photos. “And this one?” Nate jabbed a finger at another picture taken on a beach. “You two look close.” His arms crossed defensively over his chest, drawing further away.
“What?” I chuckled, surprised by the snarky tone in his voice. “You really have no reason to be jealous of him.”
“I don’t get jealous,” he snapped, scowling at the photo. His defiance wiped whatever was left of a smile off my face. I wanted to let him fester and not explain, but my prevailing sense of honesty won out.
“That is my not-so-little baby brother, Liam.” He was nineteen in the picture, taken three years ago. His interest in health and fitness was evident even back then, in his athletic muscular frame—a good advert for his personal trainer career if, and when, he got a job. I was tall, but huddled barefoot into Liam’s six-foot-four bulky frame, I looked tiny. “Blonds aren’t my type,” I joked, trying again to ease the tension radiating off Nate that left me on edge.
“What is your type, Kara?” he asked accusingly, his face set and eyes assessing.
You. Tall, dark and unbelievably blue eyes—a deadly combination certain to make most women weak at the knees. Last night, before sleeping with him, I’d seen something that gave me hope he wasn’t like the rest. At least I thought so; otherwise I wouldn’t have handed myself so willingly to him. Now, the hint of suspicion in his question made me think he didn’t quite trust my motives.
I didn’t get the chance to reply before the intercom buzzed, snapping us from our daze. “That’s Ross.”
It took a second to process what Nate said, but when I did, the earth seemed to fall away from my feet. He was leaving, relegating me to the same scrapheap as the untrustworthy fickle women from his past.
Nate stalked to the receiver and answered curtly, “I’ll be down in a minute.” He disappeared into the bedroom, returning a few minutes later with his shoes on and his belongings clasped in his hand.
I gaped at him, trying to remain calm, but fury was bubbling inside of me. With every bit of strength I had, I fought back tears, blinking rapidly as I followed Nate to the front door. “I presumed you were st-staying?” I mumbled, my voice breaking.
He paused when he reached it, hanging his head. The longer strands of hair swung softly as he shook it. The same strands of hair I’d tugged as he gave me the most intense orgasms of my life.
“I can’t stay. It wasn’t meant to be like this.” He turned but kept his eyes lowered and said quietly, “I have to go.”
The harrowing pain in my chest grew stronger when he finally lifted his eyes to mine. When he let me see how torn he was, how much inner turmoil he was in, how guilty he felt. The anguish in the eyes that held me captive every time I looked into them was heartbreaking.
Nate caught me at the nape. The light touch of his forehead, as he lowered it to mine, forced me to close my eyes. To try and block out everything that had happened. That was happening right now. Nate had fucked me—now he was walking away.
In that moment, I think I hated him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered roughly, thumbs stroking the line of my neck.
I wanted to hit him, fist my hands and pummel them against his chest, scream and shout every bit of abuse I could in his face. More than that, I wanted to wrap him in my arms and stop him leaving. Make him talk and explain what was happening.
Nate pressed his lips to my forehead in a last goodbye, then disappeared without a second glance. I let him leave because I was too stunned to do anything else, and pride prevented me from begging him to stay.
As soon as the door latched shut I lost it. Feeling humiliated, pathetic and foolish over falling for his charms, I charged to the door and gave it the beating I wanted to give him. Why did I stupidly think I’d be any different? It was all about the chase. Now he’d captured me, I was worthless to him.
Needing to vent my frustrations on something else, I stormed to the bedroom and began stripping the bed. I had to erase all traces of Nate. I felt sick as I yanked off the sheets, tormenting me with the memories they held.
They smelt of sex. They smelt of Nate.
I let out a loud, strangled cry and flopped onto the mattress, scrubbing at my face. My chest was tight, aching with despair.
For the first time in a year, I cried over a man.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, curled up in the foetal position on my half-stripped bed, hugging my knees and rocking. Through the window, clouds chased across the sky, the sun moved around ready to set on another day. The landline ringing was the only noise that penetrated my daze.
I stumbled into the lounge and answered half-heartedly, expecting it to be Mai and not wanting to discuss what had happened. So it was a big shock to hear my father’s voice.
“Is everything okay?” I asked him, calculating through my haze it was almost midnight in England.
“Yes, darling. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to call my favourite daughter.”
“Dad,” I laughed, “I’m your only daughter.” I meandered to the desk chair and sat, relieved there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. Hearing the rumble of my father’s carefree joy brought comfort at precisely the right time. “What’s the matter?”
“I dreamt of your mother again.” George Collins had married Eliza Harris when she was twenty, after a four-year courtship. They were each others firsts and lasts. Their enduring love, tragically cut short, had kept me believing in the fairytale, long after I’d lost all hope that the happy ending would ever happen for me.
“I dream about her too, sometimes.” I touched the photo Nate had pointed out fondly, homesick and grieving for my family. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“It was wonderful. They invariably are,” he said mournfully. “I’m all right, you don’t have to worry about your old dad. What’s happening in your world?”
“Nothing much. Tell me your news instead.” I decided the more I got him talking, the quicker his sorrow would lift, and the less likely he’d detect something wrong with me.
He was the greatest father in the world. Growing up, I couldn’t recall a single time he’d disciplined me. I’d always been able to discuss anything with him, including relationships, and since my mother had gone, we’d grown closer still. I shoved the chair back and propped both feet on the desk, contentedly listening whilst he told me his plans for the garden. It brought a lump to my throat when he said how much I was missed, and how excited he was to see me next month.
“I miss you, too.” Right now more than ever.
“Got a gentleman friend yet?”
“You’re so old-fashioned,” I told him with a quiet laugh, avoiding an answer.
He laughed. “One day, Kara, one day it will be your time. The man who deserves my darling girl will enter your life and change your world. He won’t expect your love; he’ll know he has to earn it, treat you how you deserve to be treated, as the most precious gift in the world. Don’t ever settle for anything less than one hundred percent commitment.”
I placed my hand to my throat, stroking the exact spot Nate had earlier. Stupidly, I thought he understood the sentiments my father was expressing. Obviously not. “I love you, dad.”
“I love you.” His voice shook with emotion, how it always did when he spoke from the heart. My unpleasant break-up with Stuart had affected my family more than I liked. George had always had reservations as to whether he’d been good enough for the apple of his eye. In retrospect, he was right, and I’d vowed to always accept his judgement on any man I met in the future.
Half an hour after ending the call, I snapped my laptop shut on my internet research, wanting to throw it out the window. I was even more pissed off and none the wiser as to what had gone on in Nate’s head. I pushed my glasses onto the top of my head. In a fit of petulance, I picked up the tulips and carried them to the kitchen, all the while muttering to myself—“love and romance…caring and commitment…beautiful eyes…”—apparently what they were supposed to be telling me.
“Bullshit.” I tossed them into the bin. Then I drew a deep breath and poured a large glass of red.
Yes, I’d fallen for his player lines. Yes, he’d managed to charm my pants off. But no, I refused to let Nate get to me anymore than he had already.
From somewhere, I gathered enough strength to block out the surprising amount of hurt coursing through my veins, and vowed not to give Nate Blake any more of my time.
Tomorrow was another day. And another day could only mean a step further away from the disaster that was my weekend.